


Association Fallacy

by LuckyCharm404



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Humor, Anxiety, Art Student Katsuki Yuuri, Art Student Victor Nikiforov, Assumptions, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Christophe Giacometti & Victor Nikiforov Are Best Friends, College Student Katsuki Yuuri, College Student Victor Nikiforov, Dorks in Love, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, False Accusations, Implied Suicide Attempt, Katsuki Yuuri & Yuri Plisetsky Friendship, Katsuki Yuuri is a Little Shit, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Phichit Chulanont/Lee Seung Gil, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Katsuki Yuuri, Oblivious Victor Nikiforov, Phichit Chulanont & Katsuki Yuuri Are Best Friends, Phichit Chulanont Is a Good Friend, Pining Victor Nikiforov, References to Depression, Sad Katsuki Yuuri, Sad Victor Nikiforov, Slow Burn, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:41:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 152,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24820096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuckyCharm404/pseuds/LuckyCharm404
Summary: Something happened along the way, neither of them knew what it was. But it led to a series of unfortunate events that tinted their idea of each other. Uncertainty became confusion that turned to tension which led to hate. They say hate is a big word, but for those two, hate was not big enough to describe what they felt for each other. At least that what they believed the other thought. As it turns out, assumptions also lead to misunderstanding. That was what their life became, a series of uncertain, confusing, misunderstandings that made them wary of each other.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 103
Kudos: 170





	1. The Fault in Our Words

There was a party at a frat house, and it was going to be the “best party of the year”. Yuuri felt like that was every party that happened every other weekend, only that this one would be the first party of the year. Classes were about to resume after summer break and students were starting to populate campus once more. That included Yuuri and his best fiend Phichit, who had been rooming with their other friends JJ and Isabella during the summer break. Most of their so-called vacation was spent working or complaining about the heat and how much they had to work.

College turned out to be not the peaceful place he had originally thought it was going to be. He expected to move to America and have a nice four years of studying abroad and learning new things, he felt excited. All those thoughts changed drastically when he met the one and only Phichit Chulanont. He was the literal definition of the life of the party, and Yuuri was his best friend, therefore, as default, Yuuri was expected to be present at every party Phichit went to.

Expected, here, was a very exaggerated term, because Yuuri was sure Phichit was the only person who felt that way. In reality, Yuuri was sure no one knew who he was, he was sure everyone only knew him as that Japanese boy who followed Phichit around. Regardless of what he felt or thought, Yuuri knew that no matter how much he shook his head and said no, he was still going to go to that party, and he was still going to hate it. Or hate it until he got super drunk and forgot who he and everyone around him was and continued to do things that he was sure his father would frown upon and his mother would have a heart attack. Maybe his sister would have a good laugh though.

Currently, he was sitting on the floor of the dorm room he shared with Phichit. So far, he was having a front-row seat to what looked like a catwalk concert. His best friend was dancing around with no pants on to Avril Lavigne’s Skater Boi. They were one hour away from having to leave to said party, party that started half an hour ago, but Phichit was all about being fashionably late. Yuuri really knew it was all an excuse to have Leo scout the area beforehand and report back who was present, so Phichit could know how impressive his outfit had to be.

“I don’t want to have to waste an outfit if no one important is going to be there,” He had told him when Yuuri figured him out. All Yuuri could do was roll his eyes and let his friend be. He learned very quick that it was best never to question what Phichit did, he might not like what he learned. Instead, he enjoyed everything that came from being his friend, and also not enjoy other things that came from being his friend. Like going to parties or socializing with the entirety of the student body.

“How about this, with that?” Phichit asked holding the two articles of clothing in his hand.

He picked up yet another shirt and pair of jeans that looked exactly like the ones he had taken off a few seconds ago. Yuuri didn’t comment on that unless he wanted an hour rant on how they were clearly different. They were not, but Yuuri was not up to debating the difference in denim shades and how blue is blue no matter how dark or darker it was.

“Keep the jeans, lose the shirt,” Yuuri said and then dug deep into the pile of clothes to his right.

He really didn’t want to think about coming back tonight and having to put everything away. From the corner of his eye, he saw Phichit drop the shirt he was holding like it was on fire and start to put on the jeans then proceeded to take off the shirt he was wearing. Yuuri found the shirt he was looking for, the one he had seen Phichit eyeing earlier, and that for some reason didn’t pick right away. Yuuri found it weird but then again that was not uncharacteristic of his friend. It was a two-tone striped button-up shirt with short sleeves, a little too colorful for Yuuri’s taste, but Phichit could put on a garbage bag and it would still look good.

“Yuuri you’re a genius,” he exclaimed and acted as if Yuuri had just discovered fashion. He saw him start to put it on but stopped when he saw Yuuri’s expression. “What, does it look bad?”

“Are you going to button it up all the way?” Yuuri asked with a head tilt. He already knew the answer.

“No,” Phichit laughed as if Yuuri had just said a funny joke. 

At that, Yuuri walked over to the clothes still left hanging in their shared closet and looked through the shirts hanging then threw him a plain white tee.

“Put it on underneath,” he said throwing it at Phichit. Who looked at the piece of cloth with an unconvinced face. “Phichit, please don’t be _that_ guy,” Yuuri told him and gave him a pointed look.

“But wouldn’t it look…not cool?” Phichit pretended to think of a word and gave him an unamused look.

Yuuri walked to his friend and waved his hand so he would put on the things he gave him. Phichit humored him by doing as he said and then looked at the mirror in front of them still not impressed. Yuuri started to button up the shirt and stopped leaving the first three open and then tucked in the rest of the shirt into his jeans or at least he started and let Phichit finish.

“Okay, I see what look you’re going for,” Phichit said finally convinced. He moved around looking at himself in different angles a nodded satisfied with the look.

Yuuri nodded when really, he had no idea what this ‘look’ meant, but if Phichit saw it and liked it, he was not going to argue. Beside Phichit, Yuuri saw his own outfit he had put on an hour ago. It was simple, black jeans, a graphic tee shirt that had been pre-approved by Phichit and a jean jacket because it was already September and the nights were becoming a bit chilly.

“We are about to slay this party Yuuri,” Phichit said as he looked at their reflection and then pulled out his phone to take a picture.

Yuuri closed in to block the mountains of clothes behind them and smiled. Because there was no use in trying to hide, Yuuri knew they would stay in that position until Phichit captured a picture of his liking. It only took five pictures before he found one worthy of his Instagram and they only stayed in their dorm long enough for him to upload it. By the time they made it to the exit of their building, Phichit’s phone was going off with notifications.

“Sara said ‘looking fine boys’, five exclamation points, smiley face, winkey face, and two flame emojis,” Phichit read off the comment. “What should I write back?” Phichit asked as he scrolled through the comments.

“Nothing keep her guessing what you think on what she thinks,” Yuuri said in a monotone voice and busied himself by checking his email.

He was expecting a package from home and he was waiting for the notification from the school’s mailing services that would notify him he had a package waiting. From the corner of his eye he saw Phichit give him a scrawl and then went on to typing, Yuuri smiled at that.

“I’m not dark and mysterious like you Yuuri, I want everyone to know exactly what I am thinking,” Phichit told him. He went on to type something with a grin on his face.

“Oh really, so are you finally going to tell Seung Gil you have a mega massive crush on him tonight?” Yuuri challenged him with a smirk.

Phichit looked at him with a scandalized expression and looked around like a mad man to see if anyone had heard what Yuuri had said.

“Would you keep it down,” He hissed. He came closer to Yuuri and whispered, “You know that if anyone can beat you at dark and mysterious it’s that hot piece of ass. I never know what he’s thinking,” He pressed his phone to his chest as he looked up to the night sky.

“And he also only talks in one syllable integrates,” Yuuri added with a chuckle.

He had met Seung Gil once or twice, and in both instances, he could not recall him ever actually saying anything that was more than one word, two if he felt passionate about it. Yuuri found himself laughing which earned him an elbow to the ribs from Phichit.

“Ow, don’t tell me it’s not true. I at least can say a complete sentence, I might stutter but it gets said,” Yuuri tried to defend his own pride, he saw the look on his friend, and he knew that was where he was heading. “But I’ll admit, when he says ‘no’, oh boy,” Yuuri teases and waves his hand to fan himself. 

“Fuck you Yuuri, if people really knew how big of an asshole you are…” He trailed off shaking his head.

Yuuri chuckled and acted offended.

“Me an asshole, whatever could you mean?” Yuuri asked as he fluttered his eyelashes at him and gave him the most innocent look he could manage without laughing.

Yuuri knew he had a reputation of being sweet and innocent, which was true as far as Yuuri could discern. Phichit would say otherwise and if they asked Yuuko and Takashi back in Japan, they would probably agree with Phichit. And maybe he did become more of an asshole when he felt comfortable with another person. Phichit also knew very well that if he wanted the whole world to know that, he only had to get him drunk. It helped that everyone else around him was equally as drunk, therefore, everyone still thought he was sweet and innocent. They arrived at the frat house and were instantly welcomed with the sound of loud music and drunk people walking around with cups in their hands and saying nonsense.

“Come on, this damn party has not even been going on for an hour, how can people already be this drink?” Yuuri asked. 

They both dodged a drunken college boy who was running full speed down a hill. The boy ended up crashing into a car and making the alarm go off, it was muffled by the loud music and the guy didn’t seem the slightest affected by the impact. Who will feel affected is the owner of the red Subaru that now had a dent on the back door.

“Should we…” Yuuri asked pointing at the boy who was now getting up, but Phichit took him by the arm and pulled him towards the entrance of the house.

It was a three-story brick house that had roman letters engraved in the front. He’d passed by the house in the daytime many times and the once innocent-looking house now looked like the pits of hell, to Yuuri at least. The door was wide open and was held open by an empty keg, people crowded every corner of the house and Yuuri felt a little claustrophobic. They looked around and Yuuri could not find a single familiar face. That was not the case for Phichit who was greeted by almost everyone who they passed by and by default they greeted Yuuri too. He had no idea how any of them even knew his name, but he decided to ignore it and give them a wave and a hi when appropriate.

“Sara is in the back, come on,” Phichit said into his ear so he could hear him over the loud music. 

He looked down at the phone in his friends’ hand that was opened on a text conversation, he didn’t make out the text, but it was probably from Sara. They walked through groups of people and tried their best to stay together. They found an array of red cups and different bottles of alcohol on the kitchen island. Everything looked like a mess and there was no sign of Sara or that brother of hers because wherever Sara was, Michele was not far and as default Emil would be there too.

Yuuri went straight for the first bottle and looked at it. He was surprised to see an actual good bottle of vodka at a party like this. He was used to the cheap crap they bought, he counted it as a win and poured himself and Phichit a shot.

“Actual Vodka, can you believe it?” Yuuri told Phichit who looked as surprised as Yuuri had been and as if he didn’t believe it, he picked up the bottle himself to read the label.

“Well damn,” Phichit said and raised his red shot cup towards Yuuri. They cheered to good Vodka and hopefully an early night. Yuuri knew it really was the good stuff when it hurt going down and they both made a face before gasping. “This is the dangerous stuff, Yuuri,” Phichit exclaimed.

Yuuri was already pouring them another when he saw the familiar face of Sara who was hanging onto Emil by the arm and her brother right behind them with a glare directed towards Emil. Yuuri smiled and waved at them.

“Hey, guys!” She exclaimed and ran to kiss them both on the cheek which only made Michele even angrier. “What are we drinking?”’ She asked.

Yuuri held up the bottle and poured another shot for the newcomers. There was a certain kind of delight watching people drink and slowly become drunk. Michele was a lightweight, which Yuuri found hilarious because his sister could drink more than Michele could ever hold. Sara could even give Yuuri a run for his money and he never declined a challenge. Maybe that was why he always ended up making a fool of himself. Tonight, however, they had a different challenge. Who knew more about the new guy who just moved into the fraternity.

“So, his name is Viktor, born and raised in Russia but moved to New York when he turned seventeen, he’s the son of the new president and he’s a mega hottie, apparently he has a little brother. Mega brat and he lives with the President at the President’s house, he’s a freshman and Viktor is a senior like us.” Sara started. 

“He just joined the fraternity and moved in yesterday. He's rooming with Chris and has not once separated from him.” Emil added. Emil, like Michele, was part of the fraternity. Sara was part of the girl’s sorority.

“He knows Russian, English, and French. He’s doing a double major in fine arts and literature. He apparently is a prodigy back in New York and a multiple award-winning painter,” Michele added.

Yuuri was impressed and turned to where everyone was staring to see this amazing human being. However, Yuuri looked at the group and could not decide which one was the new guy. He didn’t really talk to many outside his current group and he was not always good with faces. He scarcely remembered talking to the red-haired girl who was standing with them, she was in a few of his art classes with him. Her name was Malia or Mila, something like that. Beside her were four boys, one of them being Seung Gil and the other three he didn’t recognize right away.

“So, which one is Viktor?” Yuuri asked. he heard a couple of people chuckled beside him; he had not realized he had asked his question so loud.

“The one with silver hair Yuuri, and just because I know you’re going to ask, Chris is the boy with black and blond hair, and the dark-haired boy is Georgi,” Sara answered him.

“Hey Yuuri, they’re _‘that’_ guy,” Phichit said as he slapped a hand on his chest.

Yuuri looked them over and Phichit was correct. They were both wearing button-up shirts with one too many buttons open and no undershirt. While he did get a good look at their toned chest there was something about their fashion statement and the way they stood that make Yuuri burst out laughing. Or maybe it was the two shots of very good but very strong vodka that were making him feel different.

He laughed and soon Phichit joined in on their little inside joke. He was definitely already tipsy if he was laughing so hard. The noise must have carried because the other group turned to see what was happening and Yuuri pulled on Phichit’s arm.

“Oh shit, act cool, they’re looking this way. Act cool,” He hissed as his friends who did his best to stop his laughing, but it only took one confused look from them to make Yuuri burst out laughing again. It was literally not even funny, but he could not stop laughing. Phichit was half bent over Yuuri.

“Who even wears that?” Phichit asked as he tried to catch his breath. Yuuri looked at his friend with an ‘oh really’ look which made Phichit laugh more.

“Right, who in their right mind, Phichit,” Yuuri said with a teasing tone. Beside them, he knew the others probably thought they had smoked something on the way here. He looked back at the group who were still staring at them. Yuuri pulled Phichit as he started to laugh again. “Let’s go get another drink,” He told them, and they followed him back into the kitchen.

Eventually, Yuuri told them of Phichit’s fashion choices before the party and they all joined into their little joke. They passed around the bottle of vodka when they found there was more than one. They sat around the patio and were joined by Leo and Guang Hong who joined their little marry party but didn’t drink. Sometime in the night they went back inside and started to dance, he remembered talking to JJ and Isabella at some point too. The room grew warmer and the music louder. He danced and remember laughing a lot with his friends. He remembers going to the bathroom and then nothing else.

He woke up with a massive headache and feeling too hot. His eyes flickered open and he saw a ceiling that didn’t look like his. He shot up and accidentally pushed off a sleeping Emil who was cuddling against him. Emil woke up too and sat up but didn’t quite make it before losing his balance and falling on whoever was underneath. Yuuri realized that he was on a twin bed that was not his, and Phichit was sleeping pressed against the wall beside him. How three people managed to fit on a twin bed was lost on him. Underneath he could hear Michele cursing at Emil and telling him to move. He looked over to the other side of the room where he saw Sara sleeping alone in the other bed. Besides that bed on the floor were Leo and Guang Hong. Yuuri found funny because Leo was part of the fraternity too and if Yuuri’s suspicions were correct, they were currently in Emil and Michele’s room. That meant Leo had his own room and there was no reason why he had to be sleeping on the floor spooning Guang Hong.

Eventually, everyone began to steer awake and Yuuri got up. He realized he was missing his jacket and his shirt felt very sticky. Behind him, he heard Phichit mumble something incoherent and plop back down on the bed again.

“You guys okay?” Yuuri asked Emil who was rubbing his head and Michele who was glaring at Emil while he also rubbed a different body part. Yuuri looked away taking deep breaths trying not to laugh. Neither of them answered and Yuuri turned to Phichit to move him.

“Come on sleepyhead, I feel like we are overstaying our welcome,” He told his sleeping friend. He only heard Michele humph and nothing more.

“Hey love birds get up,” Emil yelled at Leo and Guang Hong, who upon hearing Emil’s voice and seeing their compromising position, jumped apart and looked away with a blush.

“Hey, don’t worry, Emil was cuddling up to me when I woke up,” Yuuri told the other two who looked mortified. He felt bad for them.

Emil gave him a death glare and Yuuri smiled at him, he felt his face go red.

“I’ll make breakfast?” Yuuri added and fluttered his eyelashes at him. It worked when Michele did it, so he gave it a try.

“There better be bacon,” Emil said still glaring, so maybe it only worked when Michele did it.

“I heard bacon,” Phichit rose from behind Yuuri making him jump and fall over the bed on Michele.

“Not again,” Michele yelled, and he heard a series of laughs as Yuuri sat up after face planting on Michele’s crotch.

Yuuri loved his friends and he knew that this new year was going to be great. He had a feeling it would be memorable at the very least. 

**3 months later…**

Yuuri was wrong, his last year would end up being the least memorable year out of the other three. In the last three months, nothing happened, other than having to hear his best friend pining over Seung Gil. His days mostly went along the lines of going to class, hearing how smart and handsome Seung Gil was, doing homework, hearing how Seung Gil now works at a little coffee shop not far from campus and makes the best coffee, working on his art projects, and hearing about how unfair life was because Seung Gil would not even acknowledge Phichit when they were in the same room.

Classes resumed after winter break, snow warnings had passed but there was snow still lingering on the floor and Yuuri was shivering under his thick coat. He had no idea why he was standing outside when he could be inside with a cup of hot chocolate and maybe a cookie. Instead, he was watching his best friend walk back and forth on the field filled with snow. By now Phichit had made an indent on the ground free of snow and now filled with wet grass and mud that were making Phichit’s boots dirty. He was going to have to remain him to take them off before he walked into the room.

“He looked at me, okay,” Phichit started again as he tried to recall the encounter that had happened thirty minutes ago.

“Yes, and then he gave you a nod,” Yuuri continued.

Only half an hour ago they had been walking out of the building on their way to get food when Seung Gil passed them by and send a nod in Phichit’s direction. From that moment forward Phichit had stopped working. Yuuri had to admit that the uncharacteristic nod had also caught him off guard but his friend ever the dramatic one had to analyze it and overthink it.

“Did you see his eyes, I think they said…I want to talk to you more,” Phichit started and then looked at Yuuri. “Or do you think they said…hey loser, get lost?”

Yuuri looked at his friend and wondered if he hit his head recently. The dude had just looked at him and nodded, that was it. There was no reason why he had to be making a big deal about it.

“Yes?” Yuuri asked with a shrug.

“Yuuri you are literally no help!” Phichit exclaimed and moved out of the little hole he dug himself into, but when he could not get over the ice alone, he held his hand towards Yuuri.

“What, I thought I was literally no help,” Yuuri teased as he imitated his little whine.

“Yuuuuri!” He did a little jump and waved his hand towards him. Yuuri grabbed his hand and helped him over.

“What would you do without me, let’s go to the cafeteria I’m starving and freezing.” 

Phichit didn’t argue but he also didn’t stop talking about Seung Gil. Yuuri let him talk and didn’t interject as much. The cafeteria was not as full, and Yuuri could see a couple of tables that were free and which he and his friend could choose from. He looked at the choices and tried to decide what he wanted to eat, beside him Phichit was now starting to plan out his first date with Seung Gil which made Yuuri chuckled. He was a lost cause now.

From where they were walked up to the different vendors Yuuri caught a glimpse of Viktor. He was sitting with his now usual group. It’s been almost three months since he first met him, by met he was referring to seeing him twice a week in class. Last semester they only had one class together and this semester Yuuri ran with the same luck. He was in his advanced painting class and sat exactly five easels to his left. Yuuri has never actually looked his way or made any inclination to have a conversation with him. He couldn’t even function with him being in the same room, he couldn’t even imagine what would happen if he tried to talk to him. He found that pretending Viktor was not there was easier.

“Yuuri, the line is moving,” Phichit said as if he was also not distracted. “Come on, you can stare all you want at Viktor after we’ve gotten out food,” He added.

“Shhh,” Yuuri hissed looking around to see if anyone had heard him and hit him on the chest with the back of his hand.

“That felt awfully familiar,” Phichit teased reminding him of when he had done the same. They laughed at their stupid antics, and he couldn’t help but look back at Viktor.

“So, are you finally going to tell him about the mega massive crush you have on him?” Phichit whispered mockingly at him.

“Shut up Phichit, at least Viktor can say more than one word at a time,” Yuuri told him with a grin and a chuckled. Phichit glared at him.

“Can he? Viktor looks like a little of an airhead to me,” Phichit continued and laughed.

Yuuri chuckled at the sole thought of that, Viktor was no airhead. Yuuri opened his mouth to speak when he saw a red-headed figure moving behind them and walking away. Yuuri recognized her as Mila, she was in the same sorority as Sara and was also in his art class. she was also friends with Viktor.

“Shit, that was Mila. Do you think she heard something?” Yuuri asked suddenly feeling too hot. What if she told Viktor about his crush on him? That would be the end of Yuuri.

“Calm down Yuuri, she couldn’t have heard anything, unless she has super hearing or something,” Phichit pushed him forward and they moved up to buy their food.

Yuuri stayed quiet for the rest of their time in line. Phichit took his sweet time deciding what he wanted and Yuuri stood around. Now more and more people were starting to come in and he saw Isabella waving at him. Seconds later JJ came in and looked over to see who his girlfriend was waving at.

“Yo Katsuki, save us a seat!” He yelled and waved.

Yuuri felt himself go red from the sudden attention and send JJ a short wave and a nod. He liked JJ most of the time, except when he attracted unwanted attention towards him. It was rare so that was why Yuuri didn’t feel necessarily inclined to terminate their acquaintance. Isabella was also in his art class along with Sara, they were always talking, they were better friends when he was with JJ.

“JJ needs to learn to read a room sometimes,” Phichit commented.

“He’s fine, I like him,” Yuuri said and they made their way towards the sitting area. JJ had been the second friend he had made as a freshman, actually, he had been Phichit’s acquaintance first, and then they all started to hang out more. He was a little self-centered at times and loud but fun to be around. Thanks to him they had met their other friends like Leo, Isabella, and Guang Hong.

They walked over to the empty tables by the windows and stopped on their tracks.

“Fuck,” They both said at the same time. For some reason, the only tables were around and surrounding the table that included Viktor and Seung Gil and their other friends.

“How are Seung Gil and Viktor friends?” Yuuri asked as they decided to walk to the one next to the windows. It had been weird when they had first appeared together a few months ago, Viktor had joined a little group composed of Mila, Georgi, Chris, and Seung Gil. They did most things together, like walk around campus together and eat lunch and sometimes dinner together.

“I don’t know, I know that Seung Gil has a class with Chris and another with Georgi. They also live at the same house, so they must be friends,” Phichit told him in a low voice as they started to walk by them.

“So, you just happen to know his entire schedule,” Yuuri teased. He would not put it past his friend to have Seung Gil’s entire schedule written out somewhere.

“Shut up Yuuri, you know he’s Leo’s roommate,” Phichit reminded him.

“So, you made poor Leo do all the dirty snooping,” Yuuri shook his head at this friend. The light blush that appeared on Phichit’s face confirmed everything to Yuuri. Yuuri chuckled and clicked his tongue.

“Yuuri I swear if you don’t stop right now, I will tell a certain someone a little something,” Phichit threaten as the came close to the table with the objects of their affection. Yuuri became quiet as they passed but couldn’t contain himself, so he leaned forward and whispered to his friend.

“You should offer him a hello in his language, just nod back,” Yuuri whispered to his friend who looked at him with wide eyes and trying to keep a straight face.

“You are an asshole Yuuri Katsuki,” Phichit said and moved to their table.

Yuuri chuckled and saw down next to him looking out towards the window and his back to Viktor. He didn’t think he could actually eat if he had to look at Viktor. He would be too mesmerized to do much of anything but look at his beautiful face.

“I don’t know how you can deal with our professor, she’s horrible. I can’t believe she’s giving us a midterm just because some people are not doing the readings,” Phichit said and started to stab his food. He was changing the subject and Yuuri could only chuckle at the fact.

“Yeah, it’s totally unfair to those of us who do keep up with the readings,” Yuuri said in fake sympathy.

“Hey what is that supposed to mean, I do do the readings,” He said and then laughed at the fact he said do twice.

“You are so immature Phichit,” Yuuri said rolling his eyes. “And skimming the readings is not doing the reading,” Yuuri informed him.

“Hey, just because I don’t take detail notes on every single reading like someone I know, doesn’t mean I don’t do the readings,” Phichit argued. “I swear you literally rewrite the whole article by the time you are done with those notes,” he added.

“Don’t exaggerate,” Yuuri said and send him a look, Phichit’s voice was getting a little loud.

He knew Phichit didn’t want to seem dumb in front of his crush. Phichit was probably right too, he did study too much, he over thought and did unnecessary extra work all because he never felt confident enough in anything. It was the bane of his existence, Yuuko used to say he was his own worst enemy and maybe she was right. Yuuri would never be enough for himself even if the results showed he was and that was why he had to talk to a shrink twice a month for the last three years. Yuuri saw Phichit mouth a sorry and Yuuri only smiled and shook his head.

“I know that you always say that you hate parties or anything that involves more than two people but hear me out,” JJ started as soon as he sat down. Yuuri looked at Isabella immediately with an ‘oh no’ expression. She only gave him a smile which told him she would be no help in whatever endeavor her boyfriend would make to make him socialize.

“Camping…” JJ said.

He didn’t just say camping but Yuuri stopped listening after he heard that word. JJ kept talking and Phichit looked interested, but Yuuri knew he would break his own leg just to not go camping. Maybe he wouldn’t go to those extremes, but there was no way he was going. Camping was a hazardous activity, it involved being outside for longer than necessary while being surrounded by wild animals that could kill them with a single bite. There were also a number of insects that carried various diseases and on top of all that you had to sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag. No, that was most definitely not how he saw himself spending any of his time. He didn’t care if it was only Phichit and him, what would probably be worst.

“…we could invite the rest of the fraternity, I’m sure Chris and Vic….”

“No,” Yuuri said and sat in his chair. JJ sat mid-sentence and looked at Yuuri. “I can’t go, I’m busy doing literally anything else,” he added.

From behind him, he heard someone humph sarcastically. Yuuri found it odd, he knew no one behind him and there was no reason why someone is sarcastic with him. Yuuri chose to ignore it and looked at Phichit who was looking behind him with a frown.

“I don’t do camping or anything that requires me to spend time with the bugs of the world,” Yuuri told them with a shiver.

Just thinking of creepy crawlies was making him shiver. Behind him he hears a chair scrape on the floor loudly he winced and looked back to see who the asshole who did that was. He was met with the glaring eyes of Viktor Nikiforov. Yuuri was taken back as to why he was receiving such a look from the guy in front of him, his confusion canceled out the fact he was close to the guy he admired from afar in his head. Did he have strong feelings towards camping? Viktor didn’t look like someone who would have such strong feelings towards camping, but then again, he could be wrong, and he was never one for judging covers.

“You are a piece of shit, you know that,” He said to Yuuri.

Yuuri could feel his entire stomach drop. He’s been called a piece of shit before, by Phichit, Emil, hell even Sara when Yuuri said something that was particularly mean, but they all had something in common, they were being sarcastic, and they were all his friends. He knew them enough to know that they didn’t really mean it. Viktor had to be saying it sarcastically because as far as Yuuri knew he’s never done anything to the other guy that deserves being called a piece of shit not sarcastically.

“I don’t even know you,” He said out loud, he didn’t mean to do so it was just something that came to his mind.

Viktor didn’t know him enough to have such a thought about him. After he said that he saw a flash of sadness and then shocked that crossed Viktor’s face, it then settled in anger. Viktor was angry at him and suddenly he realized they had an audience.

“Fuck you Yuuri,” was the last thing Viktor said before walking away.

Yuuri looked after him in utter shock and confusion, mostly at the fact Viktor Nikiforov knew his name. Chris stood up and went after him as if he had been the one who was insulted. And then it hit Yuuri, Viktor Nikiforov had just insulted him, in front of everyone. He turned to his friends wondering if they had any inclination as to what just happened. The shock in their faces told him they didn’t. One by one the group behind them dispersed all giving Yuuri a glare, all except Seung Gil who looked as lost as all of them he left with Georgi. 

“What just happened?” Yuuri asked looking at his friends.

He didn’t know what was happening, it felt like he had slipped into an alternative universe. They all shared a confused look.

“I don’t know, what the hell,” Phichit said in shock and looked towards the group that was leaving.

“Did you do something to Viktor, Yuuri,” Isabella asked as she looked at everyone.

“I have never spoken a word to him, I have no idea what his problem is,” Yuuri said, “I didn’t even think he knew who I was, let alone my name,” He added.

“Something is seriously wrong with that guy, who the hell does he think he is?” JJ said as he shook his head and narrowing his eyes. 

“You live with him, what is he like?” Isabella asked. JJ only shrugged.

“I don’t know, he doesn’t talk to me,” JJ shrugged, “He’s always hanging out with Chris and all those with him. I always got a spoiled vibe from him. He acts like he can get away with anything just because he’s the president’s son. I don’t really like him if I’m honest,” JJ told them.

Yuuri sighed and looked back at the door where Viktor had left. Did he read him wrong, and by what JJ had said, maybe he had. The Viktor he had painted in his head was kind and sweet, he was also very talented. Celestino, their art teacher always said he was, and Celestino never said that if he didn’t really think so. He saw as Viktor often helped those around him, whether it was with inspiration or with collecting and washing materials. His crush had really started to develop when he saw how nice he was to others. He had fantasized about possible scenarios where Viktor would come to his aid as well.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve this,” Yuuri said, he could feel his eyes start to water and his nose start to sting, his throat began to form a knot and all he wanted was to run back to his dorm and cry.

“I’m sorry Yuuri, that was really fucked up,” Phichit said as he reached out and took his hand. “I’ll figure out what the hell is wrong with that asshole,” he added.

“I feel like we should just stop associating ourselves with that guy,” JJ said as he took a bite from one of his carrots.

“Maybe JJ is right,” Yuuri said sadly as he stared out the window where he saw Viktor and his group walking away. Maybe Viktor was not who Yuuri thought he was.


	2. Birds of a Feather

Midterms were made to kill students, Yuuri was sure of it. It was not until he was done with his test that Yuuri felt like he could breathe again. He stood up and walked to the front of the room to turn in his test. He passed Phichit who was too enthralled with his test to notice Yuuri passing by. It didn’t matter, Yuuri would wait for his friend in the hall. Their Professor, Professor Baranovskaya watch Yuuri as he walked down the rows of seats and placed it down in front of her. He was the first done and it was pretty much expected.

“So, what did you think?” Professor Baranovskaya asked as she reached out to grab his blue book.

“It could have been harder,” Yuuri said with a smile.

He heard a series of groans and a few ‘fuck you Yuuri’s’ from his classmates behind him. They were a small class and all their group exercise made it so Yuuri was comfortable around everyone in his class, enough to give them a lighthearted tease. For the past week, they have been saying that only Yuuri could ever pass the class with an A and started calling him a nerd. It was all without ill intent and Yuuri knew they were all really just frustrated with the amount of work the class asked for. He had held a study group the last two nights after class to go over the material. He knew they had what it took to pass the test. It had not been that hard.

Professor Baranovskaya gave him an amused look and handed him a stack of his corrected past papers. Yuuri took it and walked out of the room. The halls were empty, and he found a seat on the nearest bench. He started to look through his papers when he heard the familiar voice of Victor from somewhere on the other hall, at first, he thought it was just his head playing tricks on him. Since the events of the cafeteria, Yuuri has kept more distance from Viktor and his little posse as Yuuri’s friends have started to call them. It was not hard, and it hardly changed anything in his life. It wasn’t as if Viktor had a significant presence in his life.

Viktor’s voice started to get louder, which meant he was getting closer. Yuuri made himself look busy by looking through his papers and ignoring when he saw two figures turn the corner. He saw them hesitate for a second before moving forward from the corner of his eye. They were now whispering and Yuuri just wanted them to pass by fast, hopefully before Phichit walked out the room. Phichit had become very vocal about his now dislike towards Viktor and Chris. The sentiment was not extended to all their group since not all give Yuuri a death glare when they cross paths. Regardless, he didn’t want Phichit yelling profanities at them in the middle of a hall while people were taking their test.

As they got closer Yuuri felt himself turn tense, he was no longer reading what was on the paper in front of him. They were still talking among themselves and maybe they were going to ignore him too. It would be better that way, to simply pretend they didn’t exist to each other. It didn’t happen, he was not that lucky after all.

“Did the little teacher’s pet get kicked out?” He heard Chris ask in a condescending tone.

Yuuri wished he had brought his headphones, that way he could have an excuse to pretend he didn't hear what they said about. But ignoring them would have to do, Yuuri had to be the bigger person after all. Besides, he was not going to argue with someone who still used insults like the teacher’s pet. They were all adults for crying out loud.

“Look Viktor, I think Katsuki has gone deaf.” Chris laughed; Viktor chuckled beside him.

“Hopefully, he goes mute too,” Viktor added in a tight voice. 

Chris laughed and kept walking, slow as if waiting for Yuuri to reply or at least react. He didn’t give them that satisfaction, they soon walked out of view and Yuuri could finally relax.

“Fuck him,” Yuuri mumbled and crashed the papers in his hand. Just as Phichit came out of the room along with a few others who gave him a concerned look. Yuuri did the best he could do at the moment, which was to ignore them all.

“What, did you get an A-minus instead of an A-plus?” Phichit asked with a smirk on his face. Yuuri got up and shoved the papers into the trash can before walking towards the exit.

“Hey wait up, what wrong?” Phichit ran to keep up with him. He grabbed his shoulder to stop him before Yuuri could getaway.

“Who the hell does that guy think he is, I mean what did I ever do to him?” Yuuri exclaimed. “I can’t believe I ever actually liked that guy,” He added and rubbed his face in frustration. He could feel his eyes start to water but he refused to cry, not for that guy.

“Viktor?” Phichit asked with a frown, “What did he do now?” He started to look around to see if he saw him. The halls were empty, and they continued to walk in the opposite direction then the one Viktor had gone with Chris. “What did that piece of shit do now, I swear next time I see him I’ll punch him in the face,” He added.

“It doesn’t matter,” Yuuri sighed. “Screw Viktor Nikiforov. He can get run over by a bus and I’ll take pictures,” He added and walked out the doors. Phichit shook his head with an amused look on his face.

“He is seriously getting on my nerves, did you know he’s saying shit about JJ now too,” Phichit informed him. “And the fucker of Chris even hurt Guang Hong’s feelings,” He added.

Yuuri stopped walking and looked at his friend. What would anyone have against Guang Hong? If Yuuri was perceived as sweet, kind, and innocent, Guang Hong was the literal embodiment of those words. Saying shit about him was the lowest of blows, he never said or did anything that could be seen as insulting. He was also one of the few people who never cursed or said anything bad about people.

“He did what?” Yuuri asked. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

It was one thing that they were being mean to him, with years of experience Yuuri knew he could take it. But it was a whole another thing they were saying shit about his friends too, that he was not going to take. JJ was the type who could handle something like that, he liked the attention, good or bad. Phichit could also take it, but Guang Hong was not someone who could, and he was definitely not someone who should.

“Leo told me this morning, I just didn’t want to tell you before the test,” Phichit told him. Yuuri signaled at him to continue. “Guang Hong had gone over to the house with Leo, you know those two are inseparable. Anyway, Chris and Viktor were walking in while Leo and Guang Hong were doing homework in the living room and Chris just said it was amusing how dumb is was getting help from dumber on homework,” Phichit continued.

Anger boiled up in Yuuri, he knew how bad Guang Hong struggled in math, and well Leo was not any better, but he had the patience to help Guang Hong go over what they learned. They were both music majors, but math was still a core requirement for everyone wanting a degree from their university. Everyone knew that it was a struggle for poor Guang Hong and there was a silent understanding that it was something you should never point out. Apparently, Chris didn’t get the memo.

“Do they get a kick out of hurting people’s feelings?” Yuuri asked confused. He was going to talk to Guang Hong, he felt the need to apologize. All this started because of him, those two had something against Yuuri, and poor Guang Hong, Leo and JJ were now caught in the crossfire.

They made it to their dorm and before they got to their door, they stopped by Guang Hong’s room. He lived on the same floor as them, two doors down. His roommate was a boy named Otabek, someone who Yuuri rarely if ever talked to or saw around. According to Leo, Guang Hong and his roommate talked only a little, although Leo did try and include the quiet guy in some of their conversations. Otabek was also in the same classes as them and a Music major as well. Guang Hong said on multiple occasions that Otabek didn’t really hang out with many people, he feared he might not have many friends, he was after all a freshman and probably still getting used to life on campus.

Yuuri knocked on the door twice and waited for the door to open. They knew Guang Hong didn’t have any more classes today, he could however be practicing. They were about to leave when the door opened and Otabek appeared.

“Hey,” Yuuri started but the boy only opened the door wider and allowed them to see inside. On the right, they could see Guang Hong in bed with the covers over him.

“He’s been crying all day since he came back from class,” Otabek told them. His tone was monotone like, but his expression showed worry.

Yuuri looked at Phichit who had an angry look on his face. Yuuri looked at Otabek ready to ask if they could come in but before he could, Otabek moved aside to let them in.

“Guang Hong?” Yuuri said.

He saw the boy go tense and a sniffle before the boy peeked out of his covers. His eyes were red, and his cheeks wet from his tears, he tried to wipe his face but Yuuri sat on his bed and pulled him into a hug. “What happened?” He asked in a low calm voice.

“I-I’m pretty sure I failed my math test. Maybe Chris is right, I am dumb,” He said with a sob. “I tried so hard, I stayed up all night going over my notes, but when I got to class and I looked down at my test I didn’t remember anything,” He cried and buried his face in Yuuri’s shoulder.

“Fucking Chris,” Phichit mumbled and sat on Guang Hong’s other side. On his side table, he saw his phone flash continuously. He leaned in a bit and saw Leo’s name on all the messages.

“The midterm is not worth that many points, I’ll help you study for the final. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you pass,” Yuuri reassured him.

“If I fail again, I’ll be put on probation, I could lose my scholarship,” He cried.

They all knew how hard he worked to get a scholarship to study music, his family was not very supportive when it came to his dreams. He had to do everything himself, this was his only shot at doing what he wanted. Yuuri knew how hard it was to do things without the help of family. While he had the support of his family, he didn’t have them here with him. He could not even start to imagine how he would feel if he was all alone like that.

“You’re not going to, I promise,” Yuuri reassured him.

“Yuuri is right, we will all help you. Yuuri is like a genius, if he can help me pass math, he can help you pass too,” Phichit told him as he rubbed his shoulders. “Let's go out, you need fresh air and maybe some ice cream,” Phichit told him. Guang Hong’s eyes shined at the idea.

“You want to come?” Yuuri asked Otabek who had gone to sit at his desk and pretended he was not worried and listening. “Come on, ice cream is on me,” Yuuri told them.

“Come on Otabek,” Guang Hong said as he stood up and started to put on his shoes. Otabek looked at all of them and must have realized he could not get out of this. He sighed and nodded.

The four of them walked towards the nearest Ice cream shop, which was about a three-block walk from campus. And Phichit took full advantage to get to know the new addition to their party. If Yuuri though Seung Gil only spoke in single syllables, well Otabek only communicated in shrugs and head nods. Yuuri instantly liked him. Guang Hong announced he invited Leo and Yuuri was glad because he knew the other boy was probably worried sick. It was rare the days they were not tied to the hip.

“Who’s Chris?” Otabek asked Yuuri when they were left alone. Phichit and Guang Hong had run towards the ice cream display the second they walked into the shop.

“Christophe Giacometti, He lives with Leo,” Yuuri answered. Otabek nodded.

“I’ve seen him, he doesn’t look like the kind who would say something mean to Guang Hong,” Otabek said with a frown.

“I thought so too, but looks can be deceiving I guess,” Yuuri admitted. “Everyone says the same thing about him too though,” He added.

“Then maybe he’s not like that, maybe he spoke without thinking,” Otabek commented.

“He could be under bad influence, since Viktor enrolled he’s been hanging out with Chris. Maybe he’s the root of Chris’s new behavior,” Yuuri said.

After all, why else would Chris hate him, he’s never had a real conversation with him, he only ever heard of Chris and never actually met him officially. People don’t just hate other people for nothing, there had to be a reason.

“Viktor, the president’s son?” Otabek asked. “Is that the Viktor you’re talking about?”

Otabek sounded surprised, although he was very good at keeping a straight face. Yuuri nodded and saw as Otabek’s face then morphed into a frown. That caught Yuuri’s attention.

“You know him?” Yuuri asked.

Otabek nodded, “He’s…nice.”

Yuuri sighed, everyone also said that Yuuri found it odd because lately he’s been anything but nice, mostly to him. Maybe it really was just him, for some reason Yuuri was the center of his hatred.

“Well, he seems to hate me, I don’t doubt he’s nice, but for some reason, he’s not very nice to me,” Yuuri told him.

“Or to Guang Hong. Maybe he’s not so nice after all,” Otabek concluded as he looked at his roommate. He had a pensive expression, but they dropped the subject as soon as both Phichit and Guang Hong turned to them asking what they wanted to get.

Leo arrived once they all had gotten their ice cream, they waited for him to get his own and they walked back to campus together. Otabek seemed to relax when Leo and Guang Hong started to take over the conversation. Neither of them mentioned Guang Hong’s break down for his sake and because Leo would have probably hunted Chris down and dropped kick him on the spot. Phichit was also not very happy about Chris, but he kept it under wraps for Guang Hong. It was nice to go out for ice cream and to hang out with his friends. It was so nice they all forgot the reasons they had all been upset in the first place. But nothing lasts forever. 

Later in the week, they were all having dinner together since they all had free time at the same time, which seemed highly unrealistic. Then Leo mentioned skipping practice and Sara and Isabella mentioned ditching their class because there would be a guest speaker they had already heard speak before. Chairs were pulled up from different tables and they all squeezed into one table. They were all having their own individual conversations that occasionally morphed into a whole table discussion. They had finished their food a long time ago and were now only hanging out.

Yuuri sat next to Guang Hong as they went over his math homework, on his other side was Phichit who was having a debate with Michele on why it’s a good idea to invest in bitcoin. Emil and JJ interjected occasionally but only to make both Phichit and Michele argue even more. Sara and Isabella mostly talked about upcoming sorority events that Yuuri didn’t really care for but would probably be dragged to. Leo sat on Guang Hong’s other side talking to Otabek who had more or less been dragged there by Guang Hong. They were having a conversation about an assignment where they had to compose their own music.

“Valentine’s day is coming up, what are you guys doing?” Phichit asked all of a sudden.

Yuuri looked up from the math equation he was looking over and roll his eyes.

“It’s correct,” He told Guang Hong instead and tried to ignore Phichit and his planning. Beside him, Guang Hong beamed with excitement and turned to Leo and Otabek who both gave him a thumbs up.

“JJ won’t tell me what he is planning,” Isabella said with a small glare towards her boyfriend who only winked at her.

“What about you Michele, where are you taking Emil?” Leo teased.

Which caused both men to curse at Leo while denying anything that had to do with them as a pair. Eventually, Emil asked Leo where he was taking Guang Hong and the argument continued. This time Yuuri’s student was too preoccupied with turning redder than a tomato to pay any attention to their lesson. It frustrated Yuuri only slightly.

“Just kiss already,” Yuuri said under his breath.

He was sure it would go unheard under all the yelling, but they all turned to him and glared at him.

“Fuck off Yuuri,” They all said in unison that Yuuri had to sit back.

“In that case what are you and Phichit doing?” Michele teased.

“Well, first we have a reservation at our favorite restaurant, then we are going to get ice cream and end it all with a romantic walk by the river,” Yuuri replied in a mocking tone. “We do not fear our bromance,” Yuuri added.

“I love you Yuuri,” Phichit started, “But I have a date already,” He added.

Everyone at the table oohed at that. And Yuuri looked at his friend with wide eyes.

“Did one syllable hot man finally say yes,” Sara asked as she leaned in now interested in the turn of events.

“It is one of the few words he actually knows,” Yuuri teased. Phichit glared at him.

“No, I’m going with Kitty Abelashvili,” Phichit replied. Everyone shared at Phichit but didn’t say anything.

“Okay, I know we never actually talked about it, but I’m not the only one who just assumed that the majority here is gay, right?” Sara said what everyone was thinking.

Everyone looked at each other. There was a long pause there they only looked at each other.

“Raise your hand if you’re gay,” Isabella asked. Yuuri could almost hear the crickets and it took everything as everyone looked at each other. “Raise if you think you think Yuuri is cute?” She continued. Everyone at their table raised their hand and those in the tables around them did. Yuuri went bright red then proceeded to put his head down on the table. 

“Congratulations, y’all gay,” Isabella announced.

“Everyone is a little gay for Yuuri,” He heard someone say behind them. Yuuri turned to see a young boy with blond hair and red stripe smiling at him and others agreeing.

“I want to die,” Yuuri said and send a glare to Sara.

“Yes, please,” He heard Chris’s voice from behind as he and his group passed by.

“Shut the hell up Giacometti,” JJ yelled. He heard the footsteps stop somewhere around him.

“Oh, or what?” Chris challenged. Yuuri looked at JJ and shook his head. Hoping his friend didn’t do something that would get him in trouble. “Cat got your tongue or are you just doing what your little bitch orders?” Chris continued with a laugh. Everyone at his table stood up at the same time and turned to Chris. Yuuri stayed seated and looked to his side to where Otabek sat. Their eyes met and Yuuri raised an eyebrow.

“You know what they say, birds of a feather,” Yuuri said to Otabek and then stood up. Otabek did as well. “Let’s go, this place suddenly got too crowded,” He added and grabbed Guang Hong’s papers and books. They shoved past the group that had stopped behind him, Yuuri intentionally slamming his shoulder on Viktor who let Chris do all the talking as always. Fuck him, Yuuri didn’t need this.

“Pathetic,” Yuuri said to him and walked out the cafeteria with his friends.

“It was such a nice day, I swear some people just show up to ruin things,” Phichit said out loud as they walked away.

“What is their problem honestly,” Isabella asked once they were in the courtyard. “Are you okay Yuuri?” She asked.

Yuuri looked up at her and nodded. He was not okay, but he didn’t need to say it for them to know. It was probably written in his face, every time. Yuuri wanted to act like everything they say only rolled off him like water, but instead, it soaked him. It penetrated his skin and latched on to everything inside of him. He hated when people talked behind his back, he hated when he didn’t know what he did wrong. He hated confrontation and being stared at. But most of all he hated that what someone thought of him affected him so much.

“Yuuri,” Sara said and grabbed his arm with both her hands. “Who cares what they think, they ain’t shit remember,” She told him. Yuuri nodded.

“There doesn’t have to be a reason, some people are just pieces of shit for no other reason than because they can’t be happy themselves,” JJ told them. “I never liked Chris, and that Viktor is turning out to be just like him.”

“Chris didn’t use to be that way; he used to be so nice to us,” Isabella said with a sad tone.

“It’s true, he was never this nasty, something happened,” Michele added.

“Of course, something happened,” Phichit started and turned around. They followed his line of sight and saw him looked at the wall of windows looking into the cafeteria. From where they stood, they could see Chris his friends sitting and already looking back at them. “Viktor Nikiforov happened.”

The days passed and Valentine’s day came by just to mess with him. Everyone was talking about dates and significant others. It was that morning he found out his best friend Yuuko was now engaged. He sent her a million hearts and congratulations to both her and Takashi. He was happy for them, but he was not happy for himself. He envied them. Envy was not a usual emotion for him, Yuuri had always had what he wanted and needed; he never had any need for envy, he was not a jealous person either. He had always been perfectly content with what he had and got. Yet this time, he couldn’t help just feel envious that Yuuko and Takashi had something that Yuuri was yet to experience.

There had been a time when all Yuuko and Yuuri could ever talk about was love. How they were going to find someone special and perfect and fall in love with them. How one day they would marry and live happily ever after. Now Yuuko got that and Yuuri…well, Yuuri only has his crush calling him names. Life was unfair and Yuuri wanted nothing to do with it anymore. How lucky was he that valentine’s day fell on a Saturday? How lucky was he that all his friends seemed to be busy…too busy to bother him as he laid in bed all day feeling sorry about himself? He wasn’t, he was never lucky. Because now that he was left alone, he realized how lonely it felt. He could pretend that he didn’t want to go out on dates, that he didn’t need a significant other. He could lie to others; he could lie to himself. But in moments where he was all alone, the truth came out and Yuuri was not strong enough to handle it.

He ended up getting up, putting on a hoodie, and walking outside. Saturdays were not very busy, many left campus or stayed in their rooms. Yuuri was able to walk around without bumping into anyone. Not that it mattered because, without Phichit by his side, Yuuri was practically invisible. He walked around the school taking in the warmth of the sun and wishing it was warmer. His phone vibrated, it was a message from Takashi thanking him for the congratulations and saying he was expected at the wedding. He didn’t say anything about him being the best man, even if that had been their plan the second, he and Yuuko got together. Now Takashi knew Yuuri could not make that kind of commitment, not while he was miles away in a different country living a completely different life from the one he had when he lived in Japan.

He sat down on the grass and leaned back allowing himself to take in the sun rays. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine himself being back home. He tried to pretend that the grass under his hands was really sand and that the birds he heard were the seagulls that circled around the beach he would spend his day at with his only two friends. It was useless because it’s been almost five years since he’s been home, and he was already starting to forget. He was starting to forget what home smelled like, what it felt like to be hugged by his mom. Or feel the softness of his dog, Yuuri could feel tears start to prickle at the edges of his closed eyes. He didn’t want to cry, he wanted to be strong because this had been his choice. He was the one who wanted to come here and study in America, he was the one who followed his art teacher Minako’s advice to come to this school and study under Celestino’s tutelage. He could have stayed home, and right now he could be celebrating with his best friends their engagement. His life could have been so different. Yet he would not change what he had here for anything either. If he had not made those choices, he would have never been about to show off his talent, he would have never meet Phichit and all his friends.

Had he stayed things would have been different, and it was not all good different. Coming to Detriot was more than just following his art, it was running away. And while he missed home, and he was starting to forget how some things felt like. He couldn’t stop thinking how he didn’t see himself there anymore and that part was scary enough. Maybe forgetting his life back home was for the best, because while there were good moments like laying in the sand with his two friends, there were also moments when he laid on concrete staring up at the sky wishing he could just fly away. The good moments were mixed with bad moments, and it seemed like only the bad moments stayed around to be remembered.

Yuuri was about to get up when something massive came crashing into him and he was pushed back. Yuuri had a moment of panic until he saw that the large body was not a wild animal, but a dog, a big fluffy dog. He sat up and looked at the door with wide eyes. It was a big brown poodle who was very affectionate. Yuuri couldn’t help the smile on his face as the dog tried to cuddle with him. Yuuri looked around to see if the dog’s owner was around, he saw no one.

“Hey there, are you lost?” He asked as he pets the dog. Under the fur, he saw it was wearing a collar and Yuuri looked at the tag attached.

“Makkachin,” He read, and the dog barked excitedly upon hearing its name. “Well Makkachin, where do you come from?” Yuuri asked.

The dog sat down and bend their head to one side. Yuuri almost melted at the cuteness, now he really wanted a dog. Yuuri got up and the dog followed not and started doing little jumps around him.

“Would you take me to your owner, they must be very worried,” He asked Makkachin.

The dog circled him and then took off in one direction. Yuuri followed, but the dog was too fast and Yuuri was not about to start running behind a dog. Makkachin must have noticed that Yuuri was not with him because they looked back and stopped waiting until Yuuri caught up and then running off again. They circled around the main building into the back residential area of campus. The fraternity and sorority houses were there but the dog didn’t make the turn towards them instead it went the other way towards the President’s house.

He followed her up a short hill. Yuuri froze at the gate before entering the premises of the house. He knew that technically Viktor didn’t live in that house, that didn’t stop Yuuri from hoping he didn’t see him here. He watch as Makkachin ran past the gate and then look back again as if telling him to come over. Yuuri looked around his surroundings, the house beyond the gate was made of red brick with white columns and stood at three stories high. It had a wide lawn in front of it, neatly cut and green. The university flag waved high on a flagpole and Yuuri was impressed. He’s never actually been to the President’s house; he never had any reason to. Makkachin barked again and run back to him. Yuuri moved a little beyond the gate and bend down and pet their fur one last time.

“You really made my day, you know that,” He whispered at the dog, she licked him as if she understood him. Yuuri always knew dogs were intelligent creatures, so maybe the one in front of him did know that he was not having a very good day. “Thank you,” Yuuri said and stood up straight again.

He turned to leave when he saw Viktor walking up the road with a leash in hand and looking around. He stopped at the entrance of the gate once he saw Yuuri. Yuuri froze in place and stared at the man with silver hair. Maybe it was too much to ask for a problem-free day, after all, he did walk into the literal lion’s cage. He had to do something, something that didn’t make him seem like a stalker.

“I…” Yuuri started to say as the same time Viktor said, “What…”

They both froze as Makkachin looked between the two of them and ran to greet her owner. Viktor leaned down to pet her fur, Makkachin’s tail moved swiftly behind her. Yuuri needed to find a way to leave, but Viktor was still standing in his way. Yuuri moved closer, hopefully, Viktor would not try to block his way.

“I found her roaming around, then she took off, I didn’t want her to get lost or get ran over, so I followed. I didn’t mean to intrude,” Yuuri told Viktor. The other man looked at him in an equal trance before nodding.

“Thank you,” He said. His tone was soft and almost breathless, maybe it had been the walk up the hill. Yuuri tried eyeing the road behind him so Viktor could take the hint that he was trying to leave but didn’t move from Yuuri’s path. “Someone must have let the gate open earlier today, when I came to walk Makka, she was already gone. Thank you for bringing her back,” He told him. There was no hostility in his tone, not that Yuuri could pick up on. He also didn’t seem angry or particularly upset about seeing Yuuri.

“I…” Yuuri was unsure what to say, what could he say. This was after all the first time they’ve had a conversation without Viktor saying something rude to him. “I was just leaving,” Yuuri signaled towards the exit more explicitly this time.

Viktor looked back and saw he was standing right in front of the gate, he moved aside quickly almost tripping over Makkachin who moved with him only to stand in front of him again. Yuuri couldn’t help but laugh. Viktor’s head snapped in his direction, his cheeks gaining a soft pink tint to it and his eyes narrowing.

“Sorry, it looks like Makkachin doesn’t realize her own size,” Yuuri commented with another chuckle.

Viktor’s features soften and he let out a laugh too as he looked down lovingly at his dog.

“Oh yes, my Makka is just a very big puppy sometimes,” Viktor replied.

Yuuri glanced once more at the dog, he wished he had a dog like that. She looked like a great cuddlier, he smiled at her when Makkachin looked beck. As if she realized he was leaving, she came to say goodbye. Yuuri bend down again and let the dog hug him, it felt nice and he didn’t even care if Viktor was watching now. This would probably be the first and last time he would ever see her. Now he would return to his dorm room and print out a million pictures of poodles and completely fall into a no dog depression that would probably last for days.

“Bye Makkachin,” Yuuri told her and stood up and took a deep breath before looking up at Viktor. He was sure he would have a lot to say about him touching his dog, and Yuuri prepared to hear it. Only it didn’t happen, when he looked up Viktor didn’t look mad. Instead, he was smiling at him and at his dog. “Sorry, I really like dogs. Especially poodles,” Yuuri almost slapped himself for saying that out loud.

“Me too,” Viktor said in a breathless whisper,

Yuuri frowned, why was he still breathless? Maybe the walk up had really after all winded him and now he wanted nothing more than to go inside but instead Yuuri was keeping him. Would that be something else he would hold against him? He looked at Viktor again only to see him smiling. Yuuri had forgotten how beautiful Viktor looked when he smiled. He mentally slapped himself.

“I’ll go now,” Yuuri said pointing at the road and started towards the open gate, Makkachin moved with him curiously as what he was doing. He saw as Viktor’s smile fell and was replaced by a neutral expression. Yuuri didn’t linger on that and walked away.

“Yuuri,” Viktor called out and Yuuri looked back. Viktor looked at him with a wide expression, his mouth open but nothing came out. Yuuri waited as he seemed to be having an inner conflict as to what to say. Maybe he couldn’t decide what insult to send him off with, Yuuri didn’t really want to hear it but he stayed regardless.

“Thank you, again,” he ended up saying to him with a sigh.

So maybe Viktor could be civil after all. It surprised Yuuri because here Viktor had an open opportunity to continue his endless mockery. Yet he didn’t, he was thanking him instead and that confused Yuuri even more.

“I didn’t do anything,” Yuuri told him and then turned to leave again, “See you around Viktor,” He called out and made his journey down the road.

Luckily Makkachin had not followed him out the gate but he could hear her barking after him. He wanted to look back to see Makkachin once more and maybe Viktor’s face, but he didn’t. He continued down the road until he got to the intersection and then headed back into campus and towards his dorm. He was confused as to what had just happened, Yuuri could not decide whether he liked that Viktor had not insulted him as he does, or that he wished he had. Because now Yuuri was confused, and that meant he would not stop thinking about it.

He had stopped thinking of Viktor as often as he had, the silver-haired man still popped up in his mind sometimes, but he had learned to moderate how long he was in his head for. He found it was very unhealthy to have a crush on a person who for some unknown reason hated his guts. That didn’t mean that his crush was gone, Yuuri just tried very hard not to think about it. But he was back in Yuuri’s head again and Yuuri couldn’t decide if that was a good thing. Only time would tell.

********

Yuuri was tired again, he could feel the cold in his bones. A chill that ran down his spine and settled within him telling him how empty he was. He stared at his ceiling until he heard his alarm go off, at least he heard an echo similar to his alarm. He got up and walked into the bathroom, he got ready for school with no true recollection of how he had managed that, he moved on pure muscle memory. He got to class and when he came to his senses he was sitting in front of his canvas. There was light music playing in the background and chatter around him. He blinked out of the trance he had been in and looked around, everyone was working and as Yuuri looked down he realized he had been as well. He just didn’t remember how he got there, how he was paining without realizing he had gotten out of bed in the first place. The canvas in front of him had dark colors, thick lines, and told a story didn’t like. 

“Yuuri, are you okay?” He heard his teacher Celestino ask from the center of the room. Yuuri looked up and put on a smile when he saw others turn to him. It was a fake and forced smile, one that told everyone he was okay even if he didn’t feel okay inside.

“Yeah, just thinking,” Yuuri told him with a shrug.

He picked up his brush dipped it into white, he was going to paint over it, he was going to hide it, he was good at that after all, hiding. He looked around his eyes settling on a pair of blue eyes that looked at him from five spaces away. And suddenly his painting made since. He frowns which made the man across from him frown too, he looked back at his painting and he realized what he had painted. Yuuri stood up from his stool and picked up the canvas and turned it upside down. Now he could see a picture that appeared within the dark colors and harsh lines, now the story started to take shape.

“Woah Yuuri, is that an optical illusion?” Sara asked as she leaned over to see what he had drawn. A figure, it was a figure with wings, around it a world on fire, and the figure rose from the pits of fire. On the flip side was another figure being dragged down by hands that rose from the flames. Who was the man and who was the angel? The question hanged in space.

“A little dark don’t you think?” Isabella asked. “It’s so cool though,” She added as she looked at it in awe.

“Impressive, what do you call it Yuuri?” Celestino asked once he came around to seeing what Yuuri had created and what his two friends were buzzing about.

“Birds of a father,” Yuuri replied, as he wrote the title and signed his name on it.

When class ended, he stayed back to wash his paintbrushes and clean out his cubby space that was due for some cleaning. As he was waiting for his stuff to dry, he looked at what the others had painted, his eyes landed on a bright and colorful painting that had the initials V.N on it. It was intricate and detailed, the bright colors brought out the story he was trying to tell. A story of two individuals who were being pulled apart, one reaching out but the other turning away. It was sad, but the colors could not let you be sad about it. Yuuri concluded that he hated it because it didn’t allow him to feel what he wanted to feel. Just like Viktor, maybe he hated Viktor too. Because like his painting, he didn’t let him feel what he wanted to feel, instead he was shoved into one emotion…anger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's part two! Enjoy :)


	3. Two Peas in a Pod

“B minus Yuuri, I got a B minus,” Guang Hong said with complete excitement as he sat down beside him on the wooden bench. “I’ve never gotten this high of a score in math,” He admitted.

Yuuri smiled at his friend and looked at the paper Guang Hong hand slapped down on the table. On top written in red was a big B-, and Yuuri felt just as excited as the boy next to him. He felt pride rise in his chest, not just for Guang Hong who had learned enough to get a passing grade but for himself who was able to help a friend in need.

“That’s amazing, I’m so proud of you,” Yuuri told him and pulled him into a hug. He was not usually as touchy, but this called for a hug.

“Thank you so much Yuuri, I would have never done it without you,” Guang Hong told him.

The smiled on his friend’s face was thanks enough. In the last couple of weeks, he’s been down, worried because of this test. Now that all that hard work had paid off, he looked like himself again. Their lessons had helped them grow closer, and Yuuri learned quite a bit from his friend. Like he was determined, but needed encouragement, he was not stupid like Chris had wrongfully pointed out. He just needed a push and for someone to show him the right path.

“Have you told Leo?” He asked, but he already knew the answer, Leo was probably the first to know. Guang Hong confirmed it with a smile and he settled down on the table. Yuuri had been drawing in the sun, the day was not as cold so Yuuri found the table with the most sun exposure and sat down.

“That’s pretty,” Guang Hong complimented his drawing of Makkachin.

He was still on cute doggy withdraws, it was not so crazy now, but he still wished he could see her again. It didn’t help that she was so affectionate or that she was probably the cutest dog in the world.

“Thanks,” Yuuri told him and looked around him.

When he had first arrived, there were not many people but now the area was starting to become very populated. Yuuri was in the center of the whole yard, he probably looked like a loser sitting all alone in such an open space. He mentally thanked Guang Hong for saving him. Suddenly he wondered why he was alone in the first place.

“Have you seen Phichit?” Yuuri asked.

Yuuri felt weird to ask for the whereabouts of his best friend and roommate to someone else. He should be the one to know after all.

“Nope, why?” Guang Hong asked tilting his head and then looked around. “I haven’t seen him actually; didn’t you have a class with him?”

“Yeah, but he said he had something important to do,” Yuuri told him with a frown.

He just realized how suspicious that sounded. And he joined Guang Hong in looking around the yard. All other benches were being occupied by groups of people, none contained his friend, his eyes glances over the familiar silver-haired boy who sat with his group of friends in a bench by a tree far from him. Chris was sitting beside him again talking very animatedly to those around him. With them was only Georgi however, and then a light went off in Yuuri.

“Seung Gil is not sitting next to them today,” Yuuri pointed out, Guang Hong looked in the direction Yuuri was looking.

“Maybe he’s in class,” Guang Hong commented.

“We all know that is not true,” Yuuri reminded him with a look. 

By now they all knew what classes Seung Gil was taking and a what time thanks to Phichit. Yuuri know knew that Seung Gil had a part-time job at a cafe, the same café Phichit had gone with Kitty on valentine’s day. Yuuri could not even be surprised at that revelation because he knew his friend and how crazy he could be and that was just up his ally.

“Do you think they’re together?” Guang Hong asked as he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Knowing our friend, I can guarantee that if that is the case, Seung Gil doesn’t know it,” Yuuri teased. He would not put it past Phichit to continue his stalking tendencies. Guang Hong laughs beside him.

“Oh, look it’s Otabek,” He pointed in the direction they had been looking.

Walking up behind Viktor’s table was the dark and mysterious figure of their new adopted friend as Phichit had started to call him. Yuuri waved at him and signal at him to come over. Yuuri knew him and if not told so he would have just walked past them. They watch him walk past the enemy table and glance at them before continuing. They all looked at him as he walked to us. Yuuri frowned hoping they were not messing with Otabek too now. He hoped that was not the case.

“Hey, you will not believe it,” Guang Hong started as soon as Otabek was within earshot. Otabek looked at him with a surprised expression. It was probably due to Guang Hong’s sudden change in attitude. “I got a B minus!” He exclaimed and showed him the proof.

“Dude that great,” Otabek said with more emotion then he’s shown in past interactions. He put his backpack down and extended his hand, Guang Hong and him proceeded to do an elaborate but short handshake. That caught Yuuri off guard.

“Huh, why don’t Phichit and I have a cool handshake?” Yuuri asked out loud. Otabek shrugged and sat down.

“Speaking of Phichit, you haven’t happened to come across our social butterfly?” Yuuri asked Otabek.

“I just passed him, he was talking to that boy he’s always staring at,” Otabek told them, “They are over by the vending machines,” He added.

Guang Hong turned to Yuuri with an excited face.

“Did you hear what they were saying?” Guang Hong asked leaning forward, “Were they declaring their undying love for each other?”

Otabek frowned and leaned back as a result of Guang Hong’s closeness.

“No, actually they weren’t really talking, they were more like staring at each other up close,” He said sounding a little confused himself as what he was saying.

“Now that sounds more like Phichit and Seung Gil,” Yuuri said and looked down at his drawing. “I wished they would just talk,” he sighed.

“You okay?” Otabek asked with a frown.

“Yuuri is going though puppy withdraws,” Guang Hong informed him of Yuuri’s horrible condition.

“What now?” If Otabek had been confused before, now he really showed it. Yuuri wondered if he ever questioned his decision of hanging out with them, he sure did, but only sometimes.

“Yuuri met a very cute dog on valentine’s day and is still trying to get over it,” Guang Hong explained in a very serious tone.

Yuuri wondered how much sarcasm was embedded in those words. It was Guang Hong, however, so Yuuri calculated that there was a very small percentage. Otabek nodded clearly still not fully understanding.

“By dog, you mean an actual four-legged animal, right?” Otabek asked leaning in with narrowed eyes. 

“Of course,” Yuuri clarified.

“Right, of course,” Otabek said nodded. “Just making sure, you never know,” He said mumbling the last three words.

“I’m not weird I swear,” Yuuri jumped to try and retrieve some of his dignity.

“Hey, I’m not judging,” Otabek told him with a smile that told him he indeed, was judging him. “Where you meet this dog?” He continued with a smirk.

“Here, she came running at me out of nowhere,” Yuuri told him then looked around before leaning in forward, “She’s Viktor’s dog,” he admitted to them in a whisper.

He hadn’t even told Phichit about his encounter with Viktor, he was still processing it himself.

“What really, I didn’t know he had a dog,” Guang Hong said as he too leaned in as if all this was top secret.

“The dog lives at the president’s house,” Yuuri told them.

“Oh Makkachin,” Otabek said suddenly.

Both Yuuri and Guang Hong turned to Otabek who sat back at the sudden attention.

“You know her?” Yuuri asked. Otabek nodded and sat up straight.

“Yeah, I’m kinda, sort of friends with Yuri,” He told them.

“Yes…you are… my friend?” Yuuri said with a confused look. “What?”

Otabek looked at him confused then chuckled and shook his head.

“No, Yuri is the name of the president’s other son, we have a class together,” Otabek clarified.

“Ooh,” Both boys said and sat back as well.

“Viktor’s brother is named Yuri,” Yuuri chuckled. “That’s kind of funny,” He added.

Viktor hated someone who’s name was similar to his bother. That must get a little confusing, well confusing if Viktor thought about him or talked about him. Yuuri thought was not likely the case.

“Their dog is usually kept in the grounds around the house, how did you see her?” Otabek asked.

“Apparently she got out, I followed her, and she took me to the President’s house,” Yuuri told them.

“Wow you went to the President’s house, imagine if you had run into Viktor there,” Guang Hong said with a shiver.

“I did,” Yuuri said in a low voice.

Guang Hong gasped loudly and covered his mouth with both hands. Otakbe’s eyes widen. They both looked at him, waiting for Yuuri to retell had happened in their meeting.

“Nothing happened really, I just told him I was returning the dog, and he thanked me,” Yuuri told them.

“Yuuri are you sure he didn’t say anything mean, you can tell us,” Guang Hong said, “Was he mean to you, if he was I will go over there and give him a piece of my mind. Otabek will back me up,” He said and then looked up at his roommate for conformation. Otabek only looked at Yuuri waiting for him to continue.

“That’s just the thing, he was not mean to me. He didn’t say anything rude,” Yuuri told them. The fact was still very odd to him.

“Maybe he was just thankful you brought him his dog,” Guang Hong stated.

“So, you guys had a normal conversation?” Otabek asked.

“I wouldn’t call it a conversation, more like a series of words being shared. But it was pretty civilized,” Yuuri said to Otabek.

“So that is why he was asking Chris if he should wave back,” He said like he had figured something out. 

Now both boys looked at Otabek confused at what he was saying.

“What?” Yuuri asked.

“Just now when you were waving me over, they probably thought you were waving at them. I heard Viktor ask Chris what to do and if he should wave back,” Otabek told them, “He sounded like he was freaking out, I thought it was a little weird.”

Yuuri looked over at where Viktor sat, now they had been joined by Mila and Seung Gil. Why would Viktor think he was waving at him, did their little interaction suddenly erase all the mean things he had said to him? Everything that man did confuse Yuuri even more and all he wanted was to stop thinking about him or his adorable dog. He grabbed the drawing and shoved it in between his drawing pad. Just because he had a cute dog was not going to mean Yuuri would start liking that asshole again.

“Where the hell is Phichit?” He asked instead as he looked around.

****

“These feelings, do you think it has to do with what happened in your childhood?” Dr. Bin asked.

He sat on his leather chair one leg crossed over the other and looked at Yuuri with a critical eye. It used to make Yuuri feel so small, it used to make Yuuri feel worst. He hated coming here, he hated having to tell some person everything that was wrong with him. But if he wanted to stay here, he had to prove to Minako that he was healthy in every sense of the word. Both physically and mentally.

In leaving home, he thought he would be able to run away from things, like his past. That had not been the case, and he was thankful for Dr. Bin, he could admit that much. He had been there when being homesick took a turn for the worst. He was there when he felt his first inspiration block, and he’s been there since the first time the teasing started again.

“It feels the same as if I can’t breathe because everyone is staring at me. Like every whisper means they are saying something about me. I feel like I can’t move, can’t think about anything else sometimes,” Yuuri took a deep breath and looked down at his hands, “I know that those things should not matter to me, but every little thing…it matters.”

Dr. Bin wrote something down and then looked up at him.

“Tell me about this boy, why do you think he’s doing this?” He asked.

Yuuri shrugged, as he did every time, he asked the same question. He didn’t know why Viktor did what he did, and he didn’t know why it mattered so much to Yuuri.

“The painting you did without realizing it, you think it had something to do with him?” He continued. Now he was just restating what Yuuri had told him and there had been a time when that frustrated the hell out of him.

“Yes, of course,” Yuuri said for the thousandth time.

He had shown him a picture of the painting. That blackout moment had been what caused the meeting. It had freaked out Yuuri so much he had called for an appointment right after he had left the classroom. He feared that maybe the medication was causing him to lose the sense of time, or that it was something worst. Dr. Bin told him that perhaps he had been so caught up in his head he didn’t realize what he was doing. It did very little to rid him of any worry, and he feared he was just wasting his time. But he was due a refill on his medication anyway, so the day was not lost.

“Tell me what the painting means to you,” He asked again like he was digging for something. It didn’t surprise Yuuri, Dr. Bin was always digging for something like he was just trying to trick him into saying something. Yuuri had to be careful to not fall for his tricks, the last thing he needed was Dr. Bin calling his Minako or worst, his parents. 

He brought up the picture on his tablet and showed it to him. The screen did a very poor job at showing the bright vibrant colors of the picture, they looked almost dull. But he had imprinted it into his head after staring at it for hours. Every line and shade came to life in weaving meaning and a story he was scared to share out loud. Dr. Bin must have figured that out after his hesitation.

“You have mentioned fear of falling, is the depiction of this man falling into the flames have to do with you?”

Yuuri looked at where Dr. Bin was pointing, the man with no wings falling.

“Could it also be you who is rising from the flames into the light,” He added as he turned it over.

Yuuri stared at the image in front of him and didn’t say anything. Dr. Bin had a way of switching things around, of looking at things from different angles. It bugged Yuuri that he could be so easily read.

“Yuuri, do you want to know what I think?” He said after Yuuri didn’t answer. He shut off his tablet and placing it on the table beside him.

It was a rhetorical question, Yuuri thought, he would say his thoughts regardless of the answer Yuuri gave. So, he only continued to stare into empty space. 

“I think you are becoming attached to these feelings. To this individual’s wrongful depictions of you, because it reminds you of something familiar. You find comfort in familiarity and here you have a very similar scenario, one that you are used to. So, you do as you have always done, you let it consume you.”

“You think I find comfort in some asshole calling me a piece of shit,” Yuuri asked in shock. “I’m not a masochist.”

Dr. Bin laughed slightly and wrote down something on his pad, Yuuri gave him a dry look.

“Great, now my shrink thinks I’m a freaking masochist,” Yuuri mumbled and squirmed in his seat.

“I’m making a simple note Yuuri, I would like you to try and talk to this Viktor. Try to find out the reasons for his behaviors, the closure will help. Closure helped last time, didn’t it?”

“Yeah sure,” Yuuri said. The last thing he wanted was to remember the half-assed apology he received from someone who had little to do with was he had gone through. 

He left home for many reasons, one of those was to run from everyone who ever knew him. He wanted to start fresh in a place where no one knew him, where he could rebuild himself in his own image and not how others saw him. He wanted to run from those who called him names, who hurt him. He thought he had managed to run, to free himself from all that. But he was wrong.

“There is something really wrong with me,” Yuuri asked.

“Yuuri, those boys bullied you because they had their own issues. Those issues had nothing to do with you,” Dr. Bin told him.

“They wouldn’t have bullied me had I not been a pushover or annoying. Maybe that is why Viktor doesn’t like me either. He can see me for what I really am,” Yuuri said.

Maybe he had seen through the fake façade he had put up and was only acting accordingly. Yuuri thought he was good at hiding but maybe he was only fooling himself.

Dr. Bin took on his neutral expression, the one he always put on when he disagreed with him but didn’t want to push him. He wrote something else down.

“Yuuri, I want you to start taking the anti-depressants again,” he told him and wrote another note. Those notes were starting to bother him.

Yuuri let out a snort, but let it happen. He was being a depressing after all, what else did he expect was going to happen. He should be lucky he was not being dragged to an insane asylum. Phichit was going to have a lot to say when he saw the bottle, he didn’t know about the depression just the anxiety. It’s been years since he’s had to take them, he thought the last time would be the last.

He talked to Dr. Bin about his classes and how he helped his friend Guang Hong in math and how that made him feel. He told him about making a new friend in Otabek. how Phichit was still not able to ask Seung Gil out yet and how that made him feel. He told him about Yuuko getting engaged. He told him about meeting Viktor’s dog and how happy that made him. He told him how his home was starting to feel not so like home anymore. When all was said and done, Yuuri was given his freedom back and after scheduling their next appointment with the receptionist Yuuri left. Dr. Bin’s office was in the student health care union, so his walk back to his dorm was short. He did however have to go to the pharmacy, so he didn’t get back until it was dark outside.

Walking in the dark was different than walking in the day. Everything took a different tone, a different type of peaceful tranquility, it was at the opposite end of the spectrum then walking at dawn. Both hitting differently, but still managing to calm Yuuri. He took every step slowly, not wanting to get back to his room just yet. Everything was quiet until he heard someone move behind him. His step faltered but he didn’t turn, he hoped he was not going to get mugged, that was the last thing he needed. He kept moving, and now that he was aware that someone was walking behind him, he could hear their faint footsteps.

“Yuuri?” a voice said behind him making him jump. Yuuri stopped moving and turned around to find Viktor behind him. “Sorry, I…I didn’t mean to scare you,” He told him.

Yuuri didn’t say anything, what could he say really? He tightened his grip on the white bag from the pharmacy and didn’t take his eyes off Viktor. Was this where he continued his teasing, was he going to going to do it now since he did not get too last time?

“I was walking back from the store and I saw you in front of me. I didn’t want to disturb you but…we’re going the same way and it probably looked like I was following you,” Viktor said. He was nervous, he ran his hand through his hair and same him a half-smile.

Yuuri nodded and turned to keep going, only this time he did not move until Viktor was by his side. So, he was not going to yell mean things to him this time either. They took the first step with caution but kept going until eventually they both relaxed. Yuuri saw from the corner of his eye Viktor turning in his direction multiple times as if he were going to say something but thought it better and did not. Yuuri could make out the first sign that they were reaching campus by the bright streetlights at the entrance.

“Why are you out so late?” Viktor asked after a while.

Viktor's starting conversation was an odd occurrence for Yuuri, once upon a time, it would have made his day. Hell, being able to walk next to him would have been a dream come true. Now it only served to add to the confusion. He questioned everything, why was he talking to him in the first place, what intentions did he have? He could be hostile and tell him to mind his own business, but part of him was interested in seeing how long Viktor could play nice. Yuuri was not an unfriendly person, sure he did not like being around people he did not know, but if someone talked to him, he was going to talk back. Why did Viktor have to be any different? Sure, most people did not call him names for no reason, but Yuuri saw this as an opportunity to maybe figure out where his hatred originated.

“I had to pick some things up,” Yuuri answered while raising the white bag in his hand to show him. “And you?” He added.

Viktor did not answer right way, Yuuri turned to him to see why he was quiet. He seemed to be thinking, his eyebrows pressed together and lips in a pout. Yuuri found his pensive face rather cute, he almost slapped himself for thinking that, but Viktor spoke up before Yuuri could so anything.

“I guess, I just needed to get away for a bit,” He admitted.

Yuuri tilted his head.

“Away from what?” He questioned, hoping that he was not crossing the line.

“Everyone at the house, Chris,” he admitted with a grimace.

Chris? Yuuri had thought those two were inseparable, two peas in a pod if you will. They did everything together; one was not without the other unless it was for class. Everyone always commented that those two did everything together. So maybe all that got boring, he and Phichit were the same in some way. They also spend a tremendous amount of time together, but sometimes they needed space. Being around someone for too long got exhausting too, it did not mean that they cared any less of each other. It just meant that sometimes people needed time on their own.

“I get it,” Yuuri told him, “There is such thing as spending too much time with your best friend.”

Yuuri turned to him and found that Viktor was looking at him with a wide expression. He blinked a couple of times, took a deep breath, and smiled at him. That was the second smile he’s received from Viktor. He had no time to deduce what the first one meant and now he was getting another one.

“Yeah, I like Chris. He’s a great friend, I couldn’t have had asked for a better one. But sometimes he can…he can just… be a lot sometimes.” Viktor admitted.

Yuuri nodded. He didn’t know Chris, not personally. Before the term started Chris was just another guy living at the frat house with his friends. They said things about him, like him being overly emotional in a good way, too friendly and a little shameless. He liked to party, and most of the parties were started by him. He was friendly, Yuuri always thought Phichit and Chris would get along well. But they never crossed paths, not until recently and now they showed no incentive of wanting to even be in the same room. Maybe he was to blame for that too.

“I’ve never actually met him, but he seemed like a nice person, I’m sure he’s great. Needing space doesn’t mean they are any less of your friend. I mean, even I need some space from Phichit sometimes, and he’s my best friend,” He told Viktor with a light chuckle.

Viktor didn’t say anything back. They continued to walk until they passed the entrance into the school. In the direction they were heading they would be passing Yuuri’s dorm first, and Yuuri felt a slight disappointment that their conversation would be cut short. He wanted to keep talking to the man beside him, to get to know him, and perhaps change the opinion Viktor had of him. He needed closure as Dr. Bin had said. Maybe he could get it tonight. He turned to Viktor to ask why he thought so low of him but one look at Viktor’s expression and he decided otherwise.

There was a deep frown on his face, his jaw was locked, and he looked deep in thought. Maybe that was his cue to leave before he started insulting him, Yuuri thought. Maybe Viktor just realized he was having a conversation with Yuuri. He opened his mouth to excuse himself, but Viktor beat him to it.

“I can’t understand you Yuuri, everything you do and say is always so contradictory,” Viktor said frustrated. “Everyone who has ever met you says you’re this great guy, very friendly, a little shy, but nice overall. But all I’ve ever seen is you being mean, selfish, and unfair especially to me, and then you go and do and say nice things to me and I have no idea what to make out of you.”

Yuuri listened to him and couldn’t help but get mad, mad at the fact that Viktor was calling him mean, selfish, and unfair to him. When he’s never done a thing to him but take all the teasing and insults Viktor threw at him. If anything, it was Viktor the one who was mean, selfish, and unfair.

“Well welcome to my world,” Yuuri said sarcastically. “Because I don’t know what to make out of you either. I mean, you insult me all day and now here you are making nice and civilized conversation with me, what am I supposed to make out of that?” Yuuri asked. His voice was tense and angry. “You are the one who is being mean and unfair to me. You don’t even know me and yet you think you have a right to come and insult me.”

Viktor took a step back as Yuuri hissed at him. Yuuri didn’t want to get too emotional but this was his best shot at getting some clarity and answers. Viktor looked at him as if he didn’t believe what Yuuri had just said. And as quickly as he took a step back, he took two forward making Yuuri move back this time.

“Me, mean, and unfair?” Viktor asked with a dark chuckle, there was no amusement behind it. “No Yuuri, you are the one who doesn’t know anything about me and yet you go and insult every little thing I do. Every time I turned, there you are laughing at me, making fun of me!” Viktor exclaimed.

Yuuri’s eyes widen, he should feel intimidated by his tone, but his words turned something in him. Why did Viktor get to yell and be angry when it was him how was getting tormented every day by him and his best friend?

“Me, making fun you?” Yuuri asked letting his voice get louder. “Are you fucking serious right now? You’re not the one having to take every demeaning comment you and Chris can come up with. No one is making fun of you!”

“No one, really?" Viktor started, "Is this your game, because of course, Yuuri Katsuki can do no wrong, he’s practically perfect, a saint in the flesh” Viktor mocked.

“There you go again. Honestly, you cannot go a few seconds without spiting your shit out, and then you go and act all innocent. If anyone is playing a game here, it’s you, and I’m sick and tired of it.” Yuuri yelled getting right in front of Viktor’s face. He could feel how hot his face was, probably red in anger now.

“No games Yuuri, you don’t like me for some reason, and honestly I don’t think like you either,” Viktor told him.

“Well hell, it looks like we can finally agree on something,” Yuuri said. “I don’t like you Nikiforov, I want nothing to do with you. so, let’s just stop this right here, let’s end this, whatever you want to call it. You don’t talk to me; I’ll ignore your existence and we can all go on with our lives.” Yuuri said. “What do you say?”

Viktor looked at him with an expression he couldn’t decipher, and he didn’t even want to try. He was too angry to care what Viktor was feeling.

“Okay.” Was all he said as he just stared at him.

“Okay.”

Not wanting to continue their yelling match and risk attracting attention, Yuuri walked away leaving behind Viktor. Maybe this was not the exact type of closure Dr. Bin was talking about, but it was the one that happened. He didn’t have to end up being Viktor’s friend for him to stop his teasing. And if Viktor kept his word, Yuuri could go back to living his life like he had before he met Viktor. He didn’t need to know why the other guy hated him; he knew very well that not everyone was going to like him. It was impossible to please everyone, and if Viktor left him alone, everything could go back to normal.

The first sign that Viktor was going to keep his word happened while JJ and Yuuri were walking back from leaving Isabella in her next class the following day. Yuuri had found JJ and Isabella walking out of the art building, JJ had asked Yuuri to keep him company while Isabella went to class. By company, he meant that they would go to the library and Yuuri would make sure JJ didn’t get too distracted and end up not doing his work. He agreed because he was going to the library anyway and he could use the company. He didn’t want to look like a loser loner on his own. They dropped Isabella at her literature class when Viktor and Chris turned the corner, the four of them looked at each other and no words were said. Once they were gone Yuuri felt like he could breathe again.

“What was that?” JJ asked looking back at the other two boys.

“Viktor and I came to the mutual agreement of not talking to each other ever again,” Yuuri told him.

“Wait, you talked to him?” JJ asked, “Alone?”

“Yes, and we realized that we both dislike each other and therefore will not be in each other’s company ever again. We will not talk to each other and try not to be in the same space at the same time,” Yuuri said, maybe he was adding more things to the original agreement, but he thought those things would be helpful too.

“That’s practically impossible. You have classes together and he lives in the same house as half your friends,” JJ pointed out and thus destroying all of Yuuri’s hopes. 

Yuuri made a face realizing those things too. It would be easier to just quit school and move to a foreign country to get away from his problem, but he couldn’t run his whole life. Now he had to just make do with what he had.

“There is not much left in this term, for next term I’ll have Phichit do his stalker thing and find out what classes Viktor will be taking and not sign up for them. And from now on, I won’t go over to your place. We can meet somewhere else, I won’t go to parties were Viktor is present and I’ll avoid places he frequents,” Yuuri told JJ. “I could just stay in my room all the time and only come out to go to class,” He added.

His plan didn’t sound half as bad, in fact, he liked it. JJ, however, had a different opinion. He had an unimpressed look on his face.

“Yuuri, you might as well switch schools,” JJ told him. “Why is it you that has to hide and avoid him. If he hates you so much, it should be him who avoids you. Hell, he could just move back to wherever he came from,” JJ told him. He put an arm around his shoulder as they walked out of the building towards the library. “Plus, Phichit is never going to let you become a hermit like that. You are not going to stop going to parties or coming over. If it bothers him so much, he can leave.”

Yuuri sighed and let the weight of JJ’s arms drop on his shoulder. He though back at the bottle of anti-depressant he has yet to open. He had to be stronger than this, he didn’t want to end up like last time. He didn’t want to worry about his family or Minako. This time it was different too, this time he was older and stronger, he had to push through this. Maybe things would not get easier in one day but eventually, they would. Slowly every day he could start to build up everything that came crashing down.

“At least he’ll stop making fun of me,” Yuuri said in a low voice but he knew JJ heard him.

The weight on his shoulder lessened but was not removed. JJ didn’t say anything, but he knew that by keeping his arm around him, he was telling him he was there. It helped and it was enough because as long as he had friends, he could go through anything.


	4. Benefit of The Doubt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! thank you for the comments, It makes me very happy to read them and see what you guys think.  
> I'm glad you guys are liking it so far so here's chapter four. Enjoy!!

The semester came and went, Yuuri finished off the last of his projects and submitted them for grading. He and Phichit managed to get Leo to find out what classes Viktor would be taking next term and Yuuri planned accordingly. There was only one term left for Yuuri, he would be graduating in the spring and going off into the real world or whatever that meant. His plans for after college were still undetermined, and he didn’t want to think about them much. He did have an interview coming up, but he stopped thinking about that it because it only made his anxiety rise and it was best if he didn’t get an attack on finals week.

Finals week always seemed like a moment that felt so far away at the start of the term, yet here they were. Neck deep in notes and going over all the things they could have possibly learned in only ten weeks. Yuuri operated on black coffee and granola bars, he couldn’t feel his eyelids anymore and his hands hurt from all the handwritten notes he’s done. It was moments like this when he regretted going for a double major. He didn’t need a fine arts and art history major, what could he possibly do with those two? There had been a time where those things sounded like a good idea, now, they didn’t.

Yuuri was at the library working on his last paper for Professor Baranovskaya ’s class. He would have stayed in his dorm but Phichit was being anything but helpful. He had gone on a one-hour rant about how unfair it was that Seung Gil was so hot and yet so reserved. In the last three months, Phichit had not managed to get a single word that was not a yes or a no from the boy. The rare nod was not given again and Phichit feared that it had been a sign he missed. Yuuri tried to be compassionate and helpful for his friend, but he couldn’t when they were being idiots. He didn’t understand why they wouldn’t just talk or kiss, whatever came first. But Yuuri knew his friend and he knew that they would more likely just stare at each other blankly before doing any of those two things.

Yuuri was not very observant, he could admit that. Most of the time he was too caught up in his own problems to give much attention to other things. But when it came to Phichit, he kept an eye out. He knew that Seung Gil was not unaffected by Phichit, the other boy would stare at Phichit a little too long for it not to mean something. Yuuri’s eyes would follow Seung Gil’s as he looked at Phichit. The guy was shy, and Yuuri knew that Phichit was not the easiest person to talk to if you were not used to it. Yuuri had once felt like Seung Gil must feel, a little intimidated and confused by Phichit’s overall personality. The only difference was that Phichit didn’t have a crush on Yuuri and Yuuri didn’t have a crush on Phichit.

He loved Phichit, but not when he was being a lovesick mess. Especially not during finals week, when Yuuri had a paper due by midnight and when he was running on pure coffee and determination. He knew he probably looked like a mess, but in moments like this, he didn’t care because everyone around him did too. On the way here he’d seen a few still in pajamas and dark circles under their eyes. It was a normal day all things considering, it wasn’t until he had decided that the paper was not going to get any better and submitted it, that he saw his new email.

It was not unusual to get emails from the president, they got at least one every month announcing new policies or reminding them of important things. But he’s never gotten one addressed specifically to him. He was half scared to open it but the curious part of him clicked the email with the subject line reading “Important inquiry”

**Mr. Katsuki,**

**I have heard a lot about you and would like to have a conversation with you. If you are available today, please come by my office. I will be available from 11 to 4. If those times do not work for you, please reply to this email, or call my office to schedule a better time.**

**Best,**

**President Yakov Feltsman.**

Yuuri sat in his chair rereading the email repeatedly. His eyes hovering the first sentence. He’s heard of him, and now he wants to have a conversation. Did this have to do with Viktor? Did he say something to his father, was Yuuri in trouble now? He didn’t know if he should be angry or scared. What if he was expelled for yelling at the president son? There had to be something unethical about that surly, he could take it to the board if it came to it. Yet Yuuri knew he probably wouldn’t.

He would take it and leave, maybe go back to Japan, and become the failure that they always said he would be. He had been so close too, but that guy had to come and ruin it all for him. He might as well get over it. He wrote back a quick email saying he would be there at one and went back to his dorm to put his laptop away and get dressed in something that was not sweatpants and a hoodie. If he was going to get expelled, he was at least not going to look like trash even if he felt like it.

Phichit was thankfully not in the room by the time Yuuri got back. Maybe he had gone to bother Leo or Sara with his sob love story. He threw on a clean t-shirt and a pair of jeans and tried to do something about his hair. But it seemed like his hair wanted to stay the way it was and Yuuri could do very little about it now. His whole walk towards the president’s office Yuuri tried to come up with ways to tell Phichit he was moving back to Japan. He didn’t want to admit he had gotten expelled. Phichit would surely go after Viktor and then he too would get expelled and that was the last thing he wanted. Maybe he could work something out with Mr. Feltsman, he was already avoiding Viktor all he could. Maybe he would allow him to finish if he kept it up.

The main office of the University was a tall stone building that once looked fascinating to look at. He found a lot of inspiration just by staring at it and has featured in many of his paintings in the last years. Now it was intimidating, like a looming tower where his punishment awaited. He tried not to linger too much on his feelings and walked in. Like ripping off a band-aid, he had to just go for it. He would deal with the outcome when it came. It took him a while to locate the president’s office and with help from a few students walking around, he found it on the third floor.

The secretary sat behind a dark wooden desk and was typing incredibly fast and loud. She stopped when she saw him and smiled. Which helped a little to ease his nerves.

“Hi, I’m Yuuri Katsuki,” He said trying his best not to stutter. The woman looked at him and then smiled wider. That was a good sign, Yuuri thought. She wouldn’t be smiling if Yuuri was going to get expelled unless she didn’t know the fate that awaited him.

“Oh yes, Mr. Feltsman is waiting for you,” She told him and pointed at the door behind her, “Go on in,” She added.

The door was slightly ajar, and he would make out the figure sitting behind a desk inside. He took a deep breath and walked in. The only light inside the room came from the wall of windows behind him, making everything else cast an ominous shadow. Yuuri had not met Mr. Feltsman in person, he’s seen him in the welcoming poster that was sent off when it was announced he would be the next president, and there had been a video where he appeared talking about the school and welcoming them into the new year. He was an intimidating looking man, someone who looked permanently angry. Viktor was very different from him in every way possible. And he always wondered why Viktor’s last name was not Feltsman if the man was his father, but it wasn’t like he could ask, right?

“Mr. Katsuki,” Mr. Feltsman said as soon as Yuuri walked in. “Please sit down,” He added. As he approached closer Mr. Feltsman reached out to shake his hand and Yuuri obliged, no need to be hostile to the man who was about to expel him.

“You said you needed to talk to me,” Yuuri said. Just like ripping off a band-aid.

“Yes, as I mentioned in my email, I have heard a lot from you,” He started. Yuuri wanted to crawl under a rock and die, he wanted this to be over already. He wondered what Viktor could possibly have said to him. “Otabek said that you helped his roommate pass his math class, raising his grade up almost two whole grade levels.” He continued.

Yuuri froze in his seat and looked at the man in front of him. This was not the direction he expected his conversation to go.

“Ah yes, Guang Hong was struggling a bit with math. He’s a pretty smart boy, all he needed was a little push and some guidance, that’s all I did really,” Yuuri told him.

“I believe that is exactly what my son needs, he seems to also be struggling with math. He’s barely scraping by with a C minus and I don’t want him to get behind,” Mr. Feltsmen told him, “I would like you to tutor him in this coming semester, I’ll pay you of course,” He added.

“V-Viktor?” He asked surprised.

This was not happening he couldn’t possibly be Viktor’s tutor. He didn’t even want to imagine how that would go. He didn’t even know Viktor was taking math classes, sure he didn’t know his class schedule, but he was sure.

“No, my youngest, Yuri. Although I have no idea how Viktor managed to pass math himself. But it’s Yura who needs help,” Mr. Feltsman clarified. Yuuri nodded as he felt his soul return to his body. “Are you friends with Viktor?” 

“No,” Said a little too fast, “I mean not really. He doesn’t like me really, not sure why,” He told him fast that he hoped he didn’t catch any of it, “I’ll be happy to help your son, of course.”

Mr. Feltsman’s settled on a slight frown as he nodded.

“How does twice a week sound?” He asked moving on.

Yuuri nodded in agreement. “That would work, would we be meeting in the library, should I reserve a study room for us?”

“Considering Yuri’s personality and the fact I have not yet told him about this, I believe it’s best to have it at our house. Yuri is very peculiar in certain things,” Mr. Feltsman said. Yuuri could catch his drift, Yuri probably would not want anyone to know he was getting tutored in math. “How many hours a day do you think you can do?” he continued.

“I think two would be enough, any less would not be very helpful, and any more would just frustrate him. There is only so much math you can do a day; everyone is different though, so we could adjust as I get to know him,” Yuuri told him.

Guang Hong could go exactly an hour and a half before he started wanting to slam his head in the book. Mr. Feltsman nodded in agreement and took out a planner from a drawer. In it he could see marked off dates and writing on most days. There were things written in two colors, red and blue. He picked up the red and then looked up at him.

“That days would work for you?” He asked. then looked down. “Next term, Yura only has classes on Mondays and Wednesdays,” He added.

“Tuesdays and Thursdays would work, that way he won’t be too overwhelmed after a long day of class and I could help him with his homework. I have classes in the morning so around four would work,” He told him. He saw him looked through the dates.

“Yes, he has dance practice in the mornings, so he should be free by then. He may even tire himself and not give you such a hard time, that will work,” Mr. Feltsman said with a chucked and wrote it down.

Yuuri didn’t know what to think about the fact he had his kid’s activities written down, either he was very controlling or just cared that much.

“I would like to meet Yuri before we start our lessons, that way I know how to plan,” Yuuri added, or if this would be worth it. If he was Viktor’s little brother after all, would he be just as mean? He needed to know if his anxiety would just kick up again or if he would be able to help the guy.

“Oh, of course, are you free today?” He asked looking up from his planner.

Yuuri thought over what he still had to do, he managed to finish his last assignments and all he had to do was do his final exam tomorrow. He was practically done.

“I’m free,” Yuuri told him, and then the thought about it better, “Is Viktor going to be there?” He asked not being able to help it, maybe he and Yuri could meet up somewhere else.

“No, that boy rarely comes around,” Mr. Feltsman said with a scoff.

“That’s good,” Yuuri said and then looked up with wide eyes, “I mean that’s not good, he should definitely go home more often,” He added quickly.

Mr. Feltsman laughed and closed his book and put it back.

“Yes, he should,” He said, “Why doesn’t he like you?”

“When I figure it out, you’ll be the first to know,” Yuuri told him, now it felt like he was the one be a tattletale. In front of him, Mr. Feltsman had a pensive expression. 

“Viktor can be a foolish boy sometimes, easily swayed by very little. But he also has a very hard time expressing what he feels and lives with his foot in his mouth. Don’t pay too much attention to what he says, most of it makes no sense anyway,” He told Yuuri with a laugh. Yuuri joined him. “Yuri is quite the opposite; he will tell you what he feels, and it always seems to come out in a very aggressive manner. He’s always been a very angry boy, while Viktor has always been a very careless one. I always feared they wouldn’t quite fit in.”

A parent’s worry, his own felt the same way. Somedays Yuuri felt like it had been his parents who took him being bullied harder than Yuuri.

“Viktor has many friends, so you don’t need to worry about him not fitting in. And his personality makes him liked by many” Yuuri reassured him, sure his choice of a friend was not great but it was a friend, nonetheless. “And Otabek is Yuri’s friend and I can assure you he’s a great person.”

Mr. Feltsman smiled at him; this was a genuine smile. He was just a father worried about his sons and he now seemed a little less intimidating. “Thank you, Mr. Katsuki,” He said.

“You can call me Yuuri,” He said, and then thought about it, “Or would that be too confusing?” They both chuckled.

Walking out of the building was refreshing and he felt like he could breathe again. Now his earlier thoughts felt silly. He didn’t get expelled; he got a job. He would be heading to the President’s house a little after five. Yuri had class until four and then Mr. Feltsman got off work at five. He thought it would be better if he were present during the first meeting, especially because he was yet to break the new to Yuri. He didn’t know the boy, but Sara always said he was a ticking time bomb ready to explode.

He decided that it was best not to tell Phichit, because he would tell everyone, and he wondered if Yuri wanted people to know. Based on Mr. Feltsman’s request, it didn’t seem likely, and plus, he knew that Phichit would not like the idea of him being anywhere near a place where Viktor could show up. It’s been days since the last time Viktor and Yuuri yelled at each other. Their fight had not gone unnoticed either as he had thought. The following day people were talking about it and Yuuri wanted to stay in his dorm forever.

A certain blog post had called it the biggest fight that never happened, those who were there said they had been seconds away from throwing hands. Yuuri didn’t think it would have escalated to that, but he was too mortified to say anything. Eventually, it would become old news, but now everyone knew they practically hate each other. Phichit had spent hours going through comments on some blog posts that talked in detail about reasons why they would hate each other. It seemed like people were also wondering why and Yuuri had scrolled endlessly trying to find a reason that didn’t sound like it came out of a badly written teen movie.

Viktor kept his word and had not said anything to him, and Yuuri avoided him the best he could. their class together was just the same, he stayed five easels away and only talked to his friends. When they eat, they make sure that Viktor or any of their friends were not around. He didn’t have to worry about what he might say if they crossed paths. Those moments did happen, it was hard to avoid him when they had the same major and took the same classes in the same buildings. In those cases, Yuuri either walked the other way or just ignored him, Viktor did the same and Chris followed. Phichit and his friends also did the same, although Yuuri did tell them that they didn’t have to. Sara did talk to Mila occasionally and Yuuri didn’t want her to stop having her own friends because of him.

He went back to his room. Maybe he could get some studying in before having to leave for the President’s house. He expected Phichit to still be gone, but he was in the room with Leo and Emil. They were sitting on the floor and talking when Yuuri walked in. There were bags of chips and three different one-liter sodas on the desk.

“What are you guys doing?” Yuuri asked once he closed the door.

“Snack break,” Phichit announced, “I texted you like a thousand times asking you to hurry your ass back from the library. But I saw your laptop, so, where were you?” He asked.

“I went for a walk, I finished my paper and was feeling a little stuffy,” Yuuri lied and walked to his desk.

“We were brainstorming what we’re doing for spring break, do you have any ideas?” Emil asked.

He extended the bag of chips in his direction and Yuuri reached out for some. Spring break was in Yuuri’s opinion the most pointless vacation time they got. And like every other break Yuuri had nothing planned. He’s gotten used to spending every break with Phichit and his friends doing random things. They planned Friendsgiving during the thanksgiving break and threw a pretty neat Christmas party. Spring break was just a week of not doing much of anything, he didn’t know why they needed to plan something.

“I want to stay in my room and watch stupid shows on Netflix,” He told them and munched on his chips. Phichit rolled his eyes.

“Should we go camping?” Leo asked.

“I will literally jump out the window,” Yuuri threaten and opened his laptop on his desk.

“You’re so dramatic Yuuri,” Phichit said and sat up from where he was sitting. “We could go on a hike,” He suggested.

No one agreed, ideas were thrown and thrown back. They could not come up with anything to do and Yuuri was completely okay with that. Eventually, they settled for throwing a party, Emil would organize it at their place, and he would take care of everything. He mentioned it would be better than anything Chris has ever done. That was when the topic of Viktor came up.

“I heard Chris say to Georgi that they had everything prepared and that they leave right after their last class on Thursday. I don’t know where they are going but they won’t be back until next week Thursday or something like that,” Leo told them.

“Well it all works out, we’ll have the best party of the year while they are gone,” Emil said and then took his phone out probably to let JJ know their plan.

What started as a simple party was turning into a monster and Yuuri really wanted nothing to do with it. Emil and JJ decided that it was best to keep everything under wraps until Viktor and his crew left campus on Thursday just in case they decided to stay. Once they were gone, they would start preparing for the party. Yuuri’s only fear was that they would go too far. It was four-thirty when Michele texted them with news of where Viktor and Chris were going for spring break.

“Who goes camping, that is so unoriginal,” Phichit said with a smirk.

Yuuri ignored him. It was getting close to the time he had to leave and Yuuri was yet to think of an excuse. Emil and Leo didn’t seem to have any intention of leaving. It would not be the first time they slept over, so that was an option that could happen.

“I’m going to go print some things out, I’ll be back,” Yuuri said hoping it was enough to not raise any suspicion.

The three boys on the floor didn’t even look up from the movie they were watching. Yuuri left without any questioning. It was early March and the weather was still cool, even if the flowers all around were starting to bloom. He admired them all the way to the President’s house, he was excited. Not for meeting Yuri, the fierce punk, but for seeing Makkachin again. He would never admit it out loud but the real reason he accepted was because he knew he would be able to see her again.

He never actually thought he would return to the house; he would have never thought a reason would arise. Yet there he was knocking on the wooden door waiting for someone to open. He was greeted by a slender boy with blond hair to his chin, Yuuri figured it had to be Yuri. It was all based on the scowl he had on his face, one that either meant he was about to punch him or yell at him, or maybe both. Yuuri wanted to run.

“Are you that stupid tutor?” the boy asked. Yuuri could hear the faint Russian accent that was not as noticeable on Viktor.

Yuuri nodded, “ I’m Yuuri Katsuki, it’s nice to meet you,” Yuuri extended his hand to greet him. The boy looked down at it as if it was dirt.

“I don’t need a tutor,” He said and then slammed the door in his face. Yuuri stared at the wooden door stunned, that was not what he was expecting. Then again he didn’t know what to expect.

From the other side of the door, he could hear Mr. Feltsman’s voice and seconds later the door opened again this time Mr. Feltman held it open.

“Come in, ignore Yura,” He told Yuuri and held the door open wider.

Yuuri walked in and was greeted with the faint smell of vanilla and lavender. The interior was nicely decorated, although Yuuri suspected that everything came with the house. Everything looked very generic and what could only be described as useful. Back home Yuuri was used to having things around that had no other function then just lay around looking pretty. Personalized touches, was how his mother described it. The house had none, it was pretty, but also very cold and not for lack of heat.

“Yura you need help, I will not allow you to fall behind. Yuuri here has agreed to help you twice a week for two hours, that is all I ask of you,” Mr. Feltsman said told his son with a stern voice.

Had it been directed to Yuuri he would have agreed and shut up, but Yuri was not like that. The younger boy scoffed and walked away towards what Yuuri could see was the living room. Mr. Feltsman followed.

“Yura, will you behave yourself,” He hissed at the blond who was no longer paying any attention to him.

Yuri was a freshman in college, but it seemed like he was stuck in that teenager angst era they all went through. Yuuri had gone through it too, he would slam doors and tell his sister to fuck off. It was mostly to hide the fact he was being hit at school or that he secretly wanted to die, but that was just his own experience. At that moment Yuuri could see that the younger boy saw his father as the problem and if Yuuri wanted a chance at getting close to him, he had to become a solution. One thing that was universal was the need to prove yourself to people, at that age Yuuri knew the need to feel challenged. So that is what he did.

“If you say you don’t need a tutor, then prove it,” Yuuri said cutting off Mr. Feltsman who was just going to yell at him again. “Show me your grades,” He added.

The blond boy glared at him and didn’t move from his place on the couch. Yuuri could see the boiling anger within him, he really was a bomb and Yuuri had just lit the fuse. But maybe what he needed was to blow, everyone needed to explode every once in a while.

“I don’t have to show you anything,” He spat and crossed his arms.

“Look, the point here is that you’re not doing too well in math and if you are not going to do it for yourself at least get help for your father’s sake,” Yuuri told him.

He tired the parent guilt trip, it would work on himself, but maybe not on the boy. It didn’t hurt to try; he had a feeling the boy would be stubborn.

“He’s not my father, and I don’t need to what he orders, I’m an adult now,” He yelled.

Behind him, Yuuri heard Mr. Feltsman sigh loudly and walk out the door. Now he was left alone with the demon child in front of him. The new revelations confused Yuuri, but he didn’t let himself dwell on it, it was none of his business after all. Plus, they didn’t have time to unpack all that.

“You don’t have to yell, I’m standing right in front of you,” Yuuri told him and then walked closer to him. “And if you’re an adult, then act like it,” He added.

“Don’t tell me what to do, pig,” Yuri spat.

Yuuri took a step back and sighed. A sudden realization came to him, one that he tried to keep out of his head before meeting the boy in front of him. He didn’t want to compare the two brothers; he’d walked into the house ready to give him the benefit of the doubt. But maybe the two brothers were not so far off. He was hoping to get the extra income, but he was not going to try if the demon boy was going to act like that.

“You’re just like your brother,” Yuuri mumbled bitterly and turned to leave. Maybe it ran in the family, the assholeness.

“What did you say?” Yuuri heard the boy ask behind him, but he didn’t stop moving towards the door. “Hey, stop,” Yuri exclaimed as he walked after him.

“I said you are just as big of an asshole as Viktor, and honestly I want nothing to do with him or you now,” Yuuri turned to face him and then turned back to reached out for the doorknob when Yuri’s hand stopped him.

“You don’t like Viktor?” He asked, his voice turning to a normal level.

“No, not really,” Yuuri stated, “I knew this was a bad idea,” He mumbled.

“So, you are not here because you want to get close to him or something?” Yuri asked his hand still on the doorknob preventing it Yuuri from opening. He looked back at the boy who had a confused look on his face.

“Hell no, the only reason I came was because I kinda want the money and because Mr. Feltsman said he rarely, if ever comes here,” Yuuri admitted. He might as well be straightforward with the boy, he didn’t want to hurt his feelings if he happened to idolize his older brother, but it had to be said. “He doesn’t like me, and I frankly don’t care much for him either,” he added.

The blond boy looked at him with narrowed eyes and stepped back so he could look at him up and down. Yuuri rolled his eyes and let out a loud sigh.

“You’re that guy he was yelling at a few days ago, the one everyone said he was going to get in a fight with?” He asked still looking him over, probably calculating who would have won.

“I wouldn’t say we were going to fight okay; we just argued and raised our voice a little,” Yuuri told him. And looked back to see if Mr. Feltsman was in hearing distence.

As if summoned Mr. Feltsman came back from another room holding a glass of some dark liquid and looked inside the living room first and then the door.

“Are you kicking him out now?” He asked with an exhale.

“No,” Yuri said and then turned to the older man. “He can stay, I want him to be my tutor,” He added with a smile, it looked oddly terrifying on him.

“What?” Both Yuuri and Mr. Feltsman said at the same time.

“He seems competent enough and he doesn’t like Viktor, that makes him adequate to be my tutor,” Yuri replied and walked away back towards the living room, “So what days and what time?” He called out while taking his phone out and scrolling through it.

Yuuri turned to Mr. Feltsman who only shot back his drink and followed his son. Yuuri took a deep breath and followed behind, he too could use a drink. It turned out Yuri could be a decent human being if he wanted to. They went over the same things he and Mr. Feltsman had gone through earlier that day. They would meet twice a week on Tuesday and Thursday from four to six until he achieved satisfactory grades or until Mr. Feltsman thought he didn’t need farther help. Lessons would be done in the living room and Yuuri will also be able to talk to Yuri’s teacher TA to make sure he was making an effort during class.

Mr. Feltsman left once he was sure Yuuri’s life was in no danger, or at least that is what he would like to think. He stayed with Yuri who was still trying to process all the information that was given to him.

“Why don’t you like Viktor?” Yuri asked after a long pause.

That was new, Yuuri thought, everyone always asked him why Viktor didn’t like him. They never asked by Yuuri didn’t like him, and as he thought about it, he didn’t even realize how much he was holding in.

“You really want to know?” Yuuri asked giving the boy an out before he laid down the many reasons his brother was the worst in his eyes. Yuri smirked and nodded.

“He’s an immature piece of shit who thinks the entire world revolves around him. He acts like everyone is against him and like everyone is always talking about him. I hate him because he’s rude and mean. He and that friend of his, say shit to me all the time and then act like they’re the victims.” Yuuri went off on his rant. He could almost feel a weight being lifted from his shoulder. “I don’t like him because everyone thinks he’s so perfect when he is not, no one is perfect, okay. But the thing I hate the most is that he’s so bipolar, one second he’ll be calling me names or making fun of me and the next he’s apologizing for scaring me when he was walking behind me at night,” Yuuri added.

Yuri rose an eyebrow at the last sentence. “He was following you at night?” Yuri asked.

“Yeah, he said he was walking around or something,” Yuuri told him and dug deeper in his head to see if he had missed anything else. He had not expected to rumble on about everything he disliked about Viktor. He was actually surprised he had so many reasons.

“What a creep,” Yuri said. “I agree with you, I think it’s stupid how everyone thinks he so perfect. He’s not, he’s actually an overly dramatic moron with no sense of personal space and who forgets everything.” He added and then looked down. “Everyone idolizes him for some reason, everyone always says how talented he is, how perfect and creative. They make him out to be something he is not, and the worst part is that he believes it too. He’s prideful and vain and he acts like the whole world revolves around him, and I hate him. I hate that people always compare us. That idiot is not even my real brother.” Yuri went off.

Yuuri was speechless, he stared at the boy with wide eyes. He had so many questions but didn’t even know where to start. But he was starting to understand a little more of the angry personal the boy in front of him was putting on. He was angry for a reason; he was angry because he lived in the shadow of someone who he didn’t feel he should be. He didn’t idolize Viktor, he resented him.

“He’s not…” Yuuri started was not able to finish before being interrupted by the answer.

“We’re adopted.” Yuri started and moved his bangs from his face. “Yakov adopted Viktor when he was a baby, he’s actually his uncle or something, and I was adopted when I was ten. That’s why that moron calls him dad, he’s the only dad he’s ever known. I still have family, my grandfather. But he was unable to take care of me. I promised him I would return to Russia when I turned eighteen, but he wanted me to go to school in America. He wanted me to go to college and graduate,” He added.

There was anger and sadness in his tone, that Yuuri could only call homesickness. He could relate to that feeling. There had been a time when Yuuri wanted to return to Japan, to his home. But he couldn’t, at least not until he had something to show. Something that justified all the years he’s been gone. Now, he didn’t know what waited for him back home and part of him was also scared to find out.

“I miss home too, but I think getting an education is important. And just think how happy your grandpa will be when you go back with a diploma,” Yuuri encouraged him. “Mr. Feltsman only wants the best for you too, he cares. If he didn’t, I wouldn’t be here. As for the whole Viktor thing, it shouldn’t matter to you what people think, you only live in someone’s shadow because you want to. All you have to do is move and make your own path.”

Yuri stayed quiet it felt like that was probably the first time too. Yuuri found the boy in front of him interesting, he was like an onion, he was made out of layers. And while a few of those layers made Yuuri want to cry, each of them held a piece to the story that was Yuri.

“I want to make my grandpa proud and Yakov too,” He admitted in a mumble.

“I’ll help you with that, all I ask if for your participation. This only works if you are willing to put in the work and effort that is needed. Maybe we should come up with a goal, something we can work towards.” Yuuri told him.

Setting goals always helped, having something to work towards was much more motivating then nothing. He thought for a second what kind of goal would be good for Yuri.

“A goal?” Yuri asked.

“Something you want that you can only get if you do a task, an incentive,” Yuuri clarified. They thought for a moment. Yuuri didn’t know the boy in front of him as well to know what he would want.

“How about this, if you can pass math with an A, I will take you to Russia this summer. We can go visit your grandfather.” Mr. Feltsman said behind them.

Yuuri jumped, they had not heard him walk in. Yuri’s eyes lit up and he looked like he was ready to jump off the couch and ran to Mr. Feltsman.

“Really, you’re not joking,” He asked. His voice raised this time, but it was a happy noise. Which must be a rare event because Mr. Feltsman’s face was that of surprise.

“Yes, but you have to get an A,” Mr. Feltsman told him.

Yuri turned and gave Yuuri a look that asked if it was possible. The stakes were put up high, but he was not going show any hesitation, not when the boy in front of him was so excited. At that moment he pledged to get that boy on a plane to Russia in the summer.

“If you put enough effort and work into it, I’m sure you can do it,” Yuuri told him.

He had a lot of work to do, and he knew that the semester that followed would be even more eventful. He felt excited, just as the boy in front of him. Now he just had to survive spring break.


	5. Speak of the Devil

Everyone was silent in the testing room, Yuuri could only hear the faint sounds of scribbles, people harshly erasing, and the echoing noise of Professor Baranovskaya ’s heels on the floor as she walked up and down the row of tables. Almost like a lioness taunting her prey, she watched everyone with narrowed eyes and a stern expression. Yuuri looked at the last page of the test, he’s looked over it for the last ten minutes still debating if he wanted to turn it in yet. He wanted to wait for Phichit to finish so they could leave together because even if he would not admit it to himself, he feared running into Viktor or Chris alone again. 

It was Thursday and he knew he was only a few hours away from not having to worry about seeing him for a whole week. Even going to that party Emil was so excited about was sounding like a good idea. He could use a little unwinding after a hard term, a term that opened things from his past he was sure were buried. It did teach him a lesson, a lesson in judging a book by its cover. He had been wrong about Viktor, even Yuri, his own brother knew there was something wrong with him. Yuri had offered an insight into the person Viktor Nikiforov was, and Yuuri found his own suspicious were not far off. Viktor was a judgmental person and had his head up his ass. Viktor’s narcissistic personality would have not been a big deal for Yuuri, he didn’t judge people for the way they were, he didn’t care as long as it didn’t affect him. It was just the fact that it did affect him and hurt him. Perhaps that was equally as narcissistic from his part.

“Mr. Katsuki are you done?” Professor Baranovskaya asked. She stood by his desk and looked down at the filled-out page in front of him. She probably saw him just sitting in his chair looking up at the clock in the front wall.

“Well, it’s as done as it’s going to get,” Yuuri admitted with a sigh and handed it to her. She took it, looked down at it and continued to read it as she walked back to her desk. A few had looked up when they heard talking, but most were too focused on their test, one of those being Phichit who was biting the tip of his #2 pencil and just glaring at the paper in front of him. Yuuri tried not to chuckle at the scene, but he did smile as he picked up his things and headed towards the door.

He said goodbye to Professor Baranovskaya who just waved at him not bothering to look up from his exam in front of her. Not that it mattered either, he would be seeing her again next term. He liked Professor Baranovskaya ’s classes, they were a challenge and somedays he enjoyed it. However, he had hoped for an easy term as his last, one where he didn’t have to worry too much. But Viktor made that very hard, and Yuuri was forced to take the last option on his list.

Professor Baranovskaya ’s advanced Art history class was not one many people took, for two reasons. One, it was hard, anyone who had ever taken it said it was the hardest class to pass. And two, she picked who could register for it. She picked only her top students, those who she knew would put some effort into her class and would actually take something away from it. He had emailed her a few weeks ago with the inquiry and received an almost immediate confirmation that he had been added to the course. It had been almost flattering if he didn’t dread having to actually take it. He had hoped for an easy introduction to cartoon drawing as an elective he and Phichit had been excited about, but it seemed Viktor had the same idea. Viktor also had the same idea in taking advanced charcoal painting and an introduction to oil paint. Yuuri was left with taking advanced sketching and a continuation to contemporary art, both classes that Viktor was not taking because he had not taken the first part of the class sequence.

JJ still thought it was stupid to adjust life around Viktor, he said it defeated the purpose of not letting Viktor affect him. Yuuri knew JJ was right and he had told him that, but he also didn’t want to be in class with him. It was an awkward event, even if they never actually spoke before, it was weird to have to walk the long way around the classroom just so he didn’t have to pass by him. It was tiring having to stop and wait for him to move from the supply station so he could go get his own materials. Yuuri felt tired just having to be aware of Viktor’s every movement just so he could avoid him. That was it, that part was what defeated the purpose of their agreement in the first place. Because before he didn’t have to worry about those things, and now he did. The worst part was that it only seemed to be affecting him because Viktor lived his life as if nothing had changed. That was what angered Yuuri the most.

He found the hallway empty and went to sit on the bench in front of the classroom. He took out his phone and busied himself with scrolling through social media to pass the time. While he didn’t post often if ever, he did like to go on and see what everyone was doing. Leo and Guang Hong had finished their last class a few hours ago and had gone to practice at one of the music halls. Leo had posted a video of Guang Hong playing the piano, he was really good, and he commented on his thoughts. After he liked the video, he kept scrolling, JJ and Emil were hanging out, Isabella and Sara were with them. The comment section was mostly Michele asking where they were and no one telling him. From the background Yuuri concluded that they were probably in the basement section of the library, probably preparing for their party tonight. He was tempted to tell Michele that, but instead, he kept scrolling until he saw a familiar silver-haired asshole and stopped. He wasn’t following him on anything, but he was following Mila Babicheva who had followed him first years ago after they had worked on a group project. She used to tag him on random memes that matched their humor and some group pictures they had taken during their project. 

Today she had taken a picture with Georgi, Chris, and Viktor outside the art building. They were laughing and had their arms around each other. Her caption read, “Spring break is already looking great” She was probably referring to the clear sky in the background. Yuuri kept scrolling not wanting to linger on the picture too much. The only good thing about seeing it was that now he knew that Viktor was probably busy getting ready for his trip and Yuuri would most likely not run into him. He leaned back into the bench, now feeling more comfortable. He replied to a few messages he had from Guang Hong and Leo, who were debating whether or not going out to watch a movie the next day would a good idea. He told them he was on board if they were, he had been wanting to go watch a movie for a while.

His other friends have also agreed to go to the movies the next day, all except Phichit and Otabek who were still in class. Yuuri continued scrolling aimlessly through people’s post, he was enthralled by what Yuuko had posted regarding her wedding preparations that he didn’t notice Viktor walking down the hall until he looked up and saw him. He stopped in his tracks when their eyes met. Yuuri had a similar reaction to seeing him. He couldn’t remember the last time that they came face to face. It had been days of avoiding each other that Yuuri forgot how dangerously handsome he was. He made a note to slapped himself later.

“Yuuri,” Viktor mumbled. It was a breathless mumble and had the hallway not been empty, Yuuri would have missed it. He looked like he wanted to say something, but nothing came out of his mouth. Yuuri himself had no idea what to say or do at that moment either. He didn’t want to start another fight where they would just end up screaming like last time and he also didn’t want to give Viktor any leeway to start insulting him again. He’s already gotten used to not having mean things thrown at him and he was not ready to start again. Plus, it had been already a few weeks since the last blog post popped up that had anything related to him and he wanted to keep it that way.

Instead, Yuuri grabbed his backpack and stood up. He might as well leave, he could always text Phichit to meet him somewhere when he was done with his test. He walked in Viktor’s direction and walked past him without a single word or acknowledgment. Yuuri could feel Viktor’s eyes as he walked by. He half expected Viktor to say something or call out to him with some rude and mean comment. None of that happened, instead, he heard Phichit’s voice calling out to him. He turned to see his friend looking at Viktor who was now walking away and then disappearing around the corner down the hall.

“Did he say something?” Phichit asked when he reached his side. Phihcit narrowed his eyes in Viktor’s direction and made a fist with his hands. He looked ready to go after him the minute Yuuri said anything bad. Yuuri shook his head and instead put on his backpack and asked him if he’d seen his messages.

They walked to their dorm talking about movies that were coming out and that they wanted to watch. Yuuri didn’t want to think about Viktor all week, he didn’t want to have to worry about seeing him and it seemed that for the first-time luck was on his side. It was around two in the afternoon when they got a message from Leo announcing that Viktor and his party were gone. That was when the real planning began. Phones started to buzz as Phichit, JJ and Emil sent out their invitation to the people they knew, the news spread like wildfire. A party at the fraternity was something everyone always looked forward to and this one was no different.

People rarely cared who threw the party, all they cared about was if there would be alcohol and loud music. Emil guaranteed that there would be and that this party would be the best of the year. To him, one-upping any Chris party was his goal and he was going to go big. And Yuuri didn’t doubt him, after all, he had JJ and Michele helping him and with Phichit who knew practically everyone, it was shaping up to be the party of the year. 

Phichit and himself went through the same notion of picking their outfits and Yuuri having a front-row seat to Phichit’s modeling clothes Yuuri has seen millions of times before. He indulged mostly because today he was determined to have a good night. He even joined the fashion show by modeling a few outfits himself. They settled for something more on the lighter side in order to welcome spring. Phichit went all out with a teal shirt and white pants he folded up the bottoms of and finished with his white shoes. Yuuri gave him a hesitant look on the white shoes but let it go, it was his choice to return with black shoes later. He had settled for a pair of light blue jeans and a pale blue shirt. He even forwent his glasses and put on his contacts, and allowed Phichit to slick back his hair when was done with his own.

Yuuri looked at himself in the mirror and smiled. He was happy with himself; he had not realized how nice it felt when he just let his guard down. It was almost that same feeling he got when he first got the Detroit. Like he was finally able to catch his breath because he knew that there was nothing or no one out to get him. He felt alive and he liked it.

“We look good,” Phichit said with an approving nod. “No, we look better than just good, we are going to slay this party,” He added and took out his phone to capture the moment. There were many and only one made the cut.

“What should I say?” Phichit asked as they walked out the room and made their way towards the elevators. It was around eight at night and the party had started an hour ago. According to Leo who was live-tweeting the whole thing, it was crazy. They had the football team doing shots in the back yard against the chess club, the score was tied so far. There was a game of spin the bottle going on that just ended three different relationships and Phichit was living for it.

“Just post it,” Yuuri told him. He didn’t understand why every picture needed to have some kind of clever caption to it. Then again, he didn’t know why people had to post pictures all the time, about all the little things they did.

“Just post it,” Phichit mocked him and then started to type. “On our way to the best party ever. #Emil’sSpringParty #ThePartyDon’tStartUntilWeWalkIn,” He read out loud and then sent it off into the world. He seemed satisfied with it because he smiled proudly and then switched to twitter to see what else Leo was tweeting.

“Seung Gil is there,” He announced moments later and shoved his phone in Yuuri’s face. He saw Leo’s new picture with a very unamused Seung Gil. Leo had an arm around him, in the background Yuuri could make out the dancing people and faint lighting. On the bottom, the caption read “Even Mr. Grumpy can agree this is the best party ever #Emil’sSpringParty”.

“What’s with the hashtag?” Yuuri asked only now noticing that most of the pictures of the party had the same tag.

“We want this to blow up Yuuri, we are all using the tag so we can have all the pictures of tonight in one trend,” Phichit replied.

Yuuri took out his phone and started to scroll down his own feed to see that all his friends were using the tag. When he clicked on it and was surprised at the number of pictures that popped up. It seemed that people were having the time of their life, others already half drunk. He found pictures of the beer pong game that was won by the chess club only a few minutes ago. He also saw a poorly shot video of a girl slapping some guy in the face after he kissed the girl next to her. He winced at that one.

“Should I post something?” Yuuri asked as he suddenly felt left out. Phichit looked at him with wide eyes and a grin on his face.

“Yes, totally, duh,” Phichit said jumping up and down. “A selfie, when was the last time you posted a selfie?” He asked.

Yuuri could not remember the last time he posted anything. They were walking out of the building when Phichit stopped him and said he would not move until he posted something. Yuuri took a picture of himself…well he took about ten before Phichit agreed on a ‘good’ one. It was just him smiling at the camera with Phichit being an idiot in the background. He had to admit he liked it. Yuuri looked up to the sky and saw the dark skies, dark clouds were gathering. Yuuri was debating whether he should go up and get a better jacket when Phichit spoke up again.

“Please write something, don’t just post it,” Phichit begged him as they continued to walk.

Yuuri realized how hard it was to come up with a caption and in the end, he was debating on whether to post it or not. That was until Phichit gave him a glare that Yuuri started to type the first thing that popped into his head.

“Heading to what people are calling the best party ever but we all know that… #It’sOnlyAGoodPartyIfThere’sVodka #Emil’sSpringParty” He wrote and then hit send before he could overthink it. Not a minute went by when his phone was buzzing with notifications.

“Well you are not wrong,” Phichit said with a giant grin on his face. Yuuri could see him already typing something.

“You know it’s a good party when @YuuriKatsuki blesses us with a rare post. #ButSeriouslyIsThereVodka? #Emils’SpringParty #Yuuri’sRarePost”

Yuuri rolled his eyes and shoved his phone into his pocket. He did his job as a friend and added to the tag. When they arrived Yuuri realized they might have created a monster, they had not even turned the corner when they could already hear the music. A massive crowd of people were making their way over as well, it only added to the big crowed already at the house. Yuuri wondered if that many people could fit in that house, it was big but still. When they did make it to the house it was a whole other deal just to try to get in. However, once inside everything was more spread out, they made a beeline towards the kitchen. Leo was waiting there for them with a shot of vodka which Yuuri took with pleasure. It was not as good as the one they had last time; it was the cheap kind, but it did the trick. He heard a camera go off and Leo giggled as he started to write.

“Looks like Yuuri found his vodka,” Leo said out loud as he typed on his phone.

Yuuri let it happen and instead busied himself by looking around. People were everywhere, either standing around and talking or dancing in the large living room. The music was catchy, and the alcohol was plenty. They were talking about the whole spin the bottle game when everyone from outside ran inside looking wet.

“It’s raining!” Someone yelled. A crowd made their way in and Yuuri worried that they would be too packed inside. He was proven wrong when at the news of rain more people went outside and started dancing in the heavy rain that was now falling. Yuuri watched as his own friends ran outside as well. From the door, he could see JJ and Isabella jumping around holding hands and not caring if they were getting wet. Sara joined in with Emil and Michele close by. Meanwhile, Yuuri was leaning on the doorframe sipping beer from a red cup watching his friends potentially getting a cold.

“Come on Yuuri!” He heard Phichit yell. He was twirling around with Leo and Guang Hong. “It’s not even cold,” He added.

Yuuri started shaking his head when he felt someone lightly push him outside. He turned back to see Otabek grinning at him. Yuuri narrowed his eyes at him and reached out to grab him and pulled him out too. They walked over to where their friends stood and let the water drench them. Phichit had not been wrong, it was not freezing, and it did feel good when it hit the skin. Although it was not as great when it started to completely drench his shirt and pants. Not having his glasses also worked because now he could move around freely without having to worry about them.

A dance-off started where they all showed their moves off and tried to stay off the muddy ground. Many started to fall into the ground but that didn’t stop anyone from having fun. The music was still loud and clear from the outside and more people started to come out instead. The rain didn’t stop and neither did the party. They took turns going back into refill drinks that only got watered down with the rainfall. Inside, people started playing games once it was clear the dance party had moved outside. Yuuri felt bad for Emil who was going to have to clean all the mud being tracked back inside the next day. But all that was worth it apparently because everyone was saying it was the best party ever.

Yuuri let loose and danced with anyone who came close to him. He was far from being drunk, the vodka was far too water-downed and the beer was mediocre to have much effect on him. But he was committed to having a good time, even if at times he disassociated, his friends brought him back. Eventually, dancing in the rain got old and so they all went back inside. They messed around with the queued-up song list and only played songs they wanted, not many noticed but those who did, started to request songs. There were people still dancing, more of them were making out in corners of the house. Phichit had started singing along to the songs being played and others joined the improvised singalong.

Yuuri sat that one out and instead watched as JJ started singing a song, he wrote that Leo and Guang Hong knew by heart as well. When it was clear that not many could actually sing as well as JJ, they settled for a lip-sync battle that Yuuri enjoyed much more. Especially when Sara and Isabella started singing It’s Raining Men.

Yuuri’s clothes would not dry and his hair was still dripping wet and the dry mud was crusting around him, it made him a little uncomfortable. His friends didn’t seem to be having the same thoughts as they danced and sung around with mud on their faces and wet hair.

Yuuri ended up in the upstairs bathroom trying to dry himself with paper towels. He had taken his shirt off to wash the mud from where it splattered up his arms and neck. The gel in his hair was barely holding up and he really wanted was to go home and take a shower instead. He looked in the mirror and tried not to make a face at his appearance. His cheeks were pink because of the alcohol and his forehead sweaty from all the dancing. He was having fun, that was a fact. But he couldn’t help but wonder what Viktor was doing, why he came to his mind in the first place he didn’t know. But now he knew it would take a few more shots to get him out of his mind tonight.

He was throwing away the wet and dirty paper towels when the door swung open and Yuuri looked over to see Viktor. They both froze when they faced each other, the loud music making its way into the bathroom. Yuuri thought he might be drunk after all since he was sure Viktor was not even at the party, he was far away camping somewhere for a whole week. He was not going to see him until the start of the next term and then again, maybe not at all, he had made sure of it.

Yet there he was, in front of him. The saying said that if you speak of the devil he shall appear, but did that also happen when you simply thought about him? The surprised look on Viktor’s face changed as he started to look at Yuuri up and down. Yuuri did the same realizing he was shirtless in a bathroom with Viktor at the door, but before he could even attempt to put on his shirt the door to the bathroom closed with Viktor now inside. Yuuri’s eyes widen when he heard the clicking on the lock and saw Viktor walk closer to him.

“Why are we always meeting like this? You should really learn to lock the door Yuuri,” Viktor said. He came to a stop right in front of him and took his shirt from him.

Yuuri opened his mouth to ask what he meant by that but was not able to let out a single syllable before Viktor was attacking him with his lips. Yuuri didn’t realize how cold he was until Viktor’s warm hands touched his exposed skin. His lips were soft but desperate as they kiss him, and Yuuri was in too much shock to do anything other than just stand there. And as he just stood there, Viktor continued to kiss him, his hands reaching up to his face. Both hands cradled the back of Yuuri’s head as he deepened the kiss and pushed him back against the wall. Yuuri let it happen because he had no idea what was going on and his body refused to move. Why was Viktor kissing him, what was Viktor even doing here, and where was his shirt?

Viktor pulled away only far enough so both their foreheads pressed against each other, they were both breathing hard and Yuuri’s heart was going so fast he was sure Viktor could hear it because Yuuri could hear Viktor’s. The position was so close, so intimate that Yuuri rendered him speechless. He thought Viktor would pull way then, maybe leave, but he didn’t, instead one of his hand trailed the back of his neck gently which made Yuuri shiver. Viktor’s blue eyes stared into his and Yuuri was frozen by them. Yuuri knew he should probably be pushing him away and leaving, that he should not be letting this happen, but the fact it was happening prevented him from making any rational movements. Viktor kissed him again, this time it was harder and much more reckless.

“Please,” He heard Viktor whisper into his lips, the sound of his voice Yuuri jumped a bit and looked at him. “Please kiss me back,” He begged. His voice was low barely a whisper, but he was close, so close Yuuri heard it all.

His voice held desperation and sadness, emotions that Yuuri didn’t understand why Viktor would have at that moment. But they did something to Yuuri, having Viktor beg him like that made his chest hurt, it pulled on his heartstrings. Yuuri couldn’t help it when his own hands reached out to his cheek, he didn’t stop himself as he closed the distance again and kiss him softly on the lips. It was a bad idea, probably one of his worst he’s had, but he couldn’t help it either. Sure, this man was the worst, but there was once a time where Yuuri had a huge crush on him. And if the guy you liked was begging you to kiss them, you kissed them...right? Viktor melted in his hands and wrapped his arms around him pulling Yuuri closer and tighter as they kissed.

What started as a soft kiss changed to a hungry and eager one that had them fighting for dominance. A fight for power and control that Yuuri didn’t understand, but at the same time didn’t want to lose. He didn’t want to succumb to the feeling that rose deep within him, while Viktor kept pulling him, fighting to bring him under. They both wanted power to do their will and neither were going to let the other win. They pulled at each other, touched each other. Yuuri could feel Viktor’s warm fingers scratching up his bareback, it was not painful, but it only made him want to be closer to him. They could not get any closer, they were practically hugging but Yuuri wanted more, and in the way, Viktor was pulling him in, it was clear that he did too. Viktor pulled on Yuuri’s lip and he couldn’t stop the low moan that escaped his lips. He felt Viktor bend down slightly, he wrapped his arms around him, and then Yuuri was lifted off the ground and placed on top of the sink counter.

The whole movement made him gasp and then was shocked when he felt Viktor’s tongue in his mouth. Yuuri’s kissed a few people, he was not an experienced kisser by far. But Viktor clearly was, or at least he knew what he was doing and all Yuuri could do was follow his lead. Yuuri didn’t know where this would lead, or what he was doing, and he didn’t care, not at the moment at least. Because at that moment he had Viktor’s entire attention, Viktor was kissing him instead of saying mean things to him. For the moment he could pretend that Viktor was not the biggest asshole Yuuri had ever met. Viktor’s lips trailed down to this shoulder peppering small kissed on his collarbone.

Yuuri buried his fingers into Viktor’s hair, it was so soft, and he smiled because now he was doing what he had only daydreamed of doing. Yuuri moaned again when he felt Viktor sucking in his skin and pulled his hair gently which caused Viktor to moan as well. The sound sent more shivers down his body and this time Yuuri pulled Viktor up to kiss him again. He reached under Viktor’s shirt, he could feel the ridges of his stomach and the warmth. Without thinking he pulled it up and Viktor helped remove it completely. Yuuri stared down at his naked chest for a few seconds and felt his face go even warmer. He was fit and all Yuuri wanted was to trail with his fingers every inch of his body. Before he could embarrass himself, he pulled Viktor forward and continued to kiss him.

“You’re so beautiful Yuuri,” Viktor said breathlessly into his lips.

Yuuri froze mid-kiss and felt a knot form in the back of his throat. His fingers lifted from Viktor as his words echoed inside his head. That was the first compliment he’s ever received from Viktor and he looked at the man in front of him with wide eyes. Viktor looked at him with a panicked look and reached out for his hand that now hovered around him. He entwined their fingers together and slowly pulled him back. Viktor shook his head slightly, his movements slowly bringing him back into their former position. But they didn’t go back to anything because there was a knock on the door. They both turned towards the door as the knob shake.

“Yuuri, are you still in there?” He heard Phichit ask. Yuuri felt his whole boy go rigid. “Shit,” He hissed and looked around as if the walls of the bathroom would give him any answers. He remembered where he was, and with who. He cursed himself for forgetting the little fact that he was at a party with his friends who would most likely be waiting for him to return.

“Yuuri?” Phichit called out again.

Viktor was not moving but instead looked at him, waiting for him to make the next move. But Yuuri didn’t know what to do. He felt panic rise inside of him. Was this part of the game he was playing? Did he know that Phichit would come up looking for him, and did all this to just put him in an uncomfortable situation? Or maybe Yuuri was just reaching for anything that made a little sense.

“Y-Yeah, I’m in here,” Yuuri called out as loud as he could without his voice shaking. He tried to relax and get out of there, but Viktor had other ideas. He moved in between his legs and trailed a finger down his cheek. Yuuri send him a look so he’d stop but he didn’t, instead, he leaned forward and started to kiss his neck. He tried to move but Viktor held him in place, and Yuuri stopped trying after that. He didn’t want to fight with Viktor when the only thing separating them from Phichit was a door.

“Are you okay in there?” Phichit asked. Yuuri could hear a worried tone in his friend’s voice. Yuuri was about to reply when Viktor bite him gently, Yuuri tried to muffle his sounds of surprised with his fist. “Yuuri, are you having an anxiety attack, open the door,” Phichit asked knocking again.

“No!” He yelled as he felt Viktor’s hands roam up his thighs and head the doorknob shake again. “I’m fine Phichit, I’m just trying to wash the mud out of my hair,” He said in the best and clearest voice he could manage. He heard Viktor scoffed and his lips trail up until they were leveled with his ears.

“Lier,” Viktor whispered. His hands went to his hips and pulled him closer. Yuuri glared at him because he couldn’t do anything that would make Phichit suspicious.

“Oh, okay,” Phichit said. “I actually just wanted to tell you that for some god damn reason Viktor and Chris are back, there goes our spring break without them” Phichit continued. “Chris is downstairs taking over the damn party, the nerve of that guy, I swear. And I have no idea where Viktor went, but I just thought I’d tell you before you run into him. I hate them so much; they are ruining everything. I’m sorry Yuuri, I know you were looking forward to not having him around.”

Viktor froze at the sound of his name and Yuuri felt their moment slowly start to vanish and the consequences of what he had done started to rise. Viktor’s eyes regained their icy expression as he started to back up, both his hands falling idly to his sides.

“I’ll be fine. I’m finishing up here, meet you downstairs,” He told his friend.

“You sure, I can wait here,” his friend offer.

“No, it’s fine I’ll be down in a bit,” He said. The last thing he wanted was to explain himself to his friend, that would be especially hard since he himself didn’t know what was happening.

“Okay,” They heard Phichit say, Yuuri waited a few seconds before he could breathe again. He started to get down from the sink counter, but Viktor stopped him by trapping him against the counter. Yuuri looked up at him with wide eyes and waiting for whatever he was going to say next.

“You still have mud on your face,” He said as he reached out for a paper towel and turned on the faucet behind him. Yuuri watched as Viktor pressed the paper towel against his cheek and gently rubbed, Yuuri reached out for the damp towel so he could do it himself, but Viktor only moved his hand away and continued what he was doing.

“Why are you back so soon?” Yuuri could not stop himself from asking.

“There was a thunderstorm warning, so they told everyone to leave,” Viktor replied as he continued to clean him. Viktor’s eyes trailed Yuuri’s face, Yuuri felt himself go red all over again. He was used to looking at Viktor from far away, he was not used to having Viktor look at him up close. He felt his entire body grow hot.

“That sucks,” Yuuri mumbled and wondered if it was safe to leave now. Hopefully, no one would see them walking out of the bathroom together. He had no idea how he was going to explain that.

“For you or for me?” Viktor asked in a serious tone. Yuuri looked up to see Viktor’s eyes narrowed and hostile again. Gone was the begging man from a few minutes ago. Yuuri rolled his eyes and pushed him aside and looked for his shirt. He hoped that it was dry by now, he could always make Emil give him a shirt. He found it on the ground next to Viktor’s, he even did the nice thing and picked it up as well.

“Here,” He handed Viktor his shirt. Viktor didn’t take it, he only stared at him.

“Why won’t you answer the question?” Viktor asked. Yuuri shoved the shirt into Viktor’s arms and pushed away. Here they went again, why was he incapable of letting shit go? “Yuuri?” Viktor hissed.

“What do you want me to say, huh?” Yuuri asked. He kept his back to Viktor, after all, he was not sure he could look at him anymore, especially if he was still shirtless. “Yeah, I was looking forward to not having you around for a week. What do you want me to do, apologize?” Yuuri exclaimed and put his shirt back on not caring about his hair anymore. All he wanted was to get out of this house and go back to his dorm.

He started towards the door, but Viktor stopped him by putting a hand on the door. Yuuri sighed loudly and turned to him with a glare. He expected Viktor to yell something back at him or say something mean, instead he reached out and touched his cheek, it trailed down to his jawbone and then to the collar of his shirt. 

“My shirt looks better on you,” He said with a smile.

Yuuri frowned and looked down at what he was wearing, it was blue but a different shade and it was also a lot bigger on him. Then he looked at the one Viktor was holding. Viktor flung the door open and left first.

“Hey, give me my shirt back,” Yuuri called out after him. Luckily, the hallway was empty and Yuuri could walk after Viktor who was going probably back to his room. “Viktor,” Yuuri hissed. Viktor turned with a grin and rose an eyebrow. He held on to Yuuri’s shirt with one hand and ran his other hand through his hair. He looked hot in his shirtless state, was all Yuuri allowed himself to think.

“My shirt?” Yuuri said as he reached out for it. It was going to be awkward taking his shirt off in the middle of a hallway but if he hurried up, they could switch before anyone noticed.

“Nope, you gave me this one. I’m keeping it,” He said then put it over his shoulder.

“Viktor, I’m serious!” Yuuri exclaimed.

“So am I,” He said and opened the door to his right. Yuuri looked inside, it had a similar set up as Emil’s and Michele’s room, although it was much more decorated than the other boy’s room. “Do you want to come in?” Viktor asked when he caught Yuuri looking inside.

“No, I want my shirt back,” Yuuri told him. He could not go down with someone else’s shirt, how was he going to explain that to Phichit or any of the others? Viktor laughed and shook his head. And to add to Yuuri’s bad luck he heard Chris calling out for Viktor as he came up the stairs. Yuuri looked at Viktor and then down at himself and cursed himself. He half-ran into Viktor’s room and hid behind the door. He listened to Viktor laughed as he walked inside and closed the door behind him.

Once inside Yuuri could see more of the room. By the foot of the beds were the camping equipment they probably just dropped when they got back. He could pick out Viktor’s bed by the Russian flag that was on the wall. The covers were a light grey color, he had multiple pillows on his bed and a dog plushy that looked just like Makkachin. On the wall were pictures of himself with his friends and his family. He recognized some and not others, Yuuri found himself smiling at the picture on Viktor’s desk with his dad and Yuri, who looked like he rather be anywhere else.

“That’s my brother, also named Yuri,” Viktor said behind him. Yuuri jumped now realizing how close he was. “He’s a little angry boy, but I’m sure he’ll get over it when he grows older,” He added. Yuuri looked at Viktor who was now looking down at the picture himself, there was a little smile on his face. It was such a different reaction than from the one Yuri had whenever he talked about Viktor. Maybe Viktor didn’t realize that the anger was resentment against him and not part of growing up. He was clueless. The knock on the door made them both jump up.

“Viktor, why is the door locked?” It was Chris at the door this time. Viktor moved as to go and open the door but Yuuri stopped him.

“What are you doing?” Yuuri hissed. Viktor looked at him with an amused look. Yuuri really wanted to wipe that smile from his face, but he was not a violent person. And he didn’t think he could take Viktor if it came to a fight.

“Going to open the door,” He said in a duh tone. Yuuri gave him a look, Viktor he acted like he didn’t know what was going on. “You can hide under the bed if you want,” Viktor told him with a grin and pointed at his bed, “Or just sit on it,” He added

Yuuri looked at him in disbelief as Chris continued to knock on the door. Did Viktor not care if Chris saw him in his room? He let out a defeated look and looked at his bed and then let out a sigh. This was the worst day ever. Yuuri got on his knees and went under the bed. He could hear Viktor laughing as he walked to open the door.

“Hey,” He said to Chris who walked in. Yuuri rolled his eyes and made himself as comfortable as possible.

“Why are you shirtless?” Was the first thing Chris asked when he walked in. From where Yuuri was he could see Chris moving around before moving in his direction and stopping right at the side of Viktor’s bed. There was nothing under the bed other than a cardboard box and some dust, therefore Yuuri was able to press his back to the wall and wrapped his arms around his knees trying to make himself as small as possible.

“It’s hot in here,” Viktor replied very nonchalantly.

“What are you doing locked up in here, you not coming down to the party?” Chris asked as he sat down on the bed. Yuuri felt the bed dip down on top of him and he held his breath. Viktor walked to the other bed and plopped down before answering.

“Maybe, I don’t know,” Viktor told him. 

“Why do you look so smiley all of a sudden?” Chris asked with an amused tone. Yuuri cursed Viktor for not being able to keep a straight face. “I thought you were still upset about your little crush ignoring you,” Chris added. 

The new information caught Yuuri by surprise, but before Yuuri could fully process it or Viktor could say anything, Yuuri’s day got worst, and his phone started ringing. Yuuri’s mind let out a string of every single curse word he knew in both English and Japanese. He reached into his pocket and tried to get his phone out but in his current position, it was almost impossible.

“Your phone is ringing,” Chris said. “Did you change your ringtone?” Yuuri could feel Chris moving on the bed, probably looking around for the phone that was ringing.

“Yep,” Was all Viktor said. Yuuri almost twisted his arm from trying to reach for it. He was going to kill however was calling him and then Viktor for putting him in that situation.

“Are you not going to answer?” Chris asked. “Why is it coming from under the bed?” Yuuri wanted to die, and he was going to take everyone responsible with him.

“Must have dropped it or something,” Viktor said casually. At least he was not acting guilty, Yuuri thought. Finally, Yuuri was able to grab his phone, he saw Phichit’s name pop up and he decided to just turn the thing off.

“Oh really,” He heard Chris say, his tone clearly showed he knew something was up. “Do you want me to reach down and get if for you?” He offered. Yuuri started to panic again. 

“Sure, if you want,” Viktor said, there was a laughing tone to his voice and Yuuri was ready to just kill him right there and then. Chris laughed and got up. Yuuri held his breath. Instead of looking under the bed he walked to the door and paused before leaving.

“I’m going down to the party,” He told Viktor, “And tell whoever is under the bed not to worry, I’ll stay with Georgi tonight,” He said with a teasing tone. “Have fun, be safe,” He added to Viktor.

“Bye Chris,” Viktor said and Chris left laughing closing the door behind him.

Yuuri laid flat on the ground and let out a loud sigh. He was going to get a heart attack one of these days. He felt the bed on top of him sink down.

“Are you going to stay there or…?” Viktor asked.

Yuuri closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Yes,” He replied and tried to think how he got in this mess in the first place. Viktor got up and looked under the bed, he could not see his face well from the lack of light, but he knew Viktor was smiling. He reached out a hand towards him and Yuuri took it. He pulled him out from under the bed. “Can I have my shirt now?” Yuuri asked. looking around for it but found it nowhere in sight.

“Nope,” Was all Viktor said to him, instead he pulled on the hand he was holding and made him crash into him. His other hand went to his face and started to kiss Yuuri again. Yuuri pulled away and pushed away from Viktor this time. He couldn’t keep doing this, there was something very bad about this and while Yuuri couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was, he knew it was bad. Now Yuuri was more than sure Viktor was playing some kind of game, maybe to entertain himself since the person he liked didn’t give him the time of day.

“I should go,” Yuuri said, he looked around one last time to see if he could locate his shirt, but he didn’t.

“Stay,” Viktor said. It was not an order or a request, it was him begging again. Yuuri felt Viktor reach out to him again but Yuuri didn’t let Viktor reel him in again. He didn’t even want to know the implications of him staying would be, even if he wanted to find out. He shook his head and walked towards the door. No, he was not going to succumb to Viktor’s wishes just because he was finally giving him the attention he once craved.

“I can’t,” Yuuri whispered, but he knew Viktor heard him because he didn’t try to stop him.

“See you next term then, Yuuri,” He heard Viktor say after him.

Yuuri paused at the door and looked back at a shirtless Viktor who was standing in the middle of his room. He knew this would be the last time he talked to Viktor; he had made sure of it. His entire semester was catered around avoiding Viktor, his classes were on opposite rotations, no same classes and with no instances where they could ever run into each other. It was almost perfect, and it would have been, but they both lived on campus, there were things that were out of his own control. But still, their interaction percentage had been minimized considerably.

“Yeah, right,” Was all Yuuri said before leaving the room and walking down to the party.

He felt warm all over and he could still feel the lingering touch of Viktor on his skin. It felt almost like a dream and everything that happened had not hit him yet. The rest of his night was a series of blurs only this time it was not because of alcohol. Maybe he was inebriated on the feeling of kissing Viktor. Whatever it was, it made the party a little less fun. He only stayed long enough to tell everyone he was leaving. And by the time he got back to his dorm he was about to scream. Because once again Viktor did something contradictory, once more Viktor pulled something on him that Yuuri had not been expected and played with his mind. 

“Damn him, damn Viktor Nikiforov,” Yuuri hissed alone in his room with his head in his hands and elbow on his knees. “Why are you in my head, get out,” He mumbled.

But all he could think about is the softness of his kiss, the warmth of his touch, and the intoxicating feeling of his scent. He looked down at the shirt he was wearing and cursed him again. He didn’t need those memories and for the first time as he laid ready to go to sleep, he wished he could forget the whole night.


	6. Silver Lining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Six is here! Enjoy :)

Yuuri was dying, he was literally dying from just looking down at the number of things he had to do. They called it senioritis, and Yuuri had just come down with the worst case possible. He looked down at his planner and pile of papers on his desk just trying to figure out where he could fit in a second to breathe amidst all the things he had to do. He came to the conclusion that he couldn’t. He had classes from Monday to Thursday, two on Monday/Wednesday, and one on Tuesday/Thursday. While he finished everything in the afternoons, he still had to keep up with the heavy workload and on top of all that he had to go over to the president’s house and tutor Yuri for two hours twice a week.

He had finished all his Tuesday classes that morning and was now in his room writing down everything that was due and when it was due in his planner. He realized he had made a huge mistake when his planner started looking like it had ink spilled all over it. His worst class to his surprise was the sketching class he had signed up for, they had at least eight projects due in the term all having to do with live sketching. Every week they would have a guest posing for them and they had to sketch them in two hours. Surprisingly, his art history class had the amount of workload he was prepared for. He had come to terms with that the second Professor Baranovskaya accepted him in the class. It was just a lot of reading, assignments, projects, and exams.

Spring break had gone quickly, he was just getting used to not doing anything all day until classes started over again. A week later and people were still talking about the best party of the year hosted by Emil. Emil was pretty stoked when he found out how much of a success he had been, Yuuri was sure it had a lot to do with the amount of hype his friends put into the party. The hashtag had been the main reason for it, everyone was still talking about the events that were now forever on the internet. It even earned itself a long blog post from some well-known blogger on campus. He was just happy he didn’t get drunk and made a fool of himself…in public that is. Because Yuuri made a fool of himself in private, and boy was he happy that no one else was there to see that.

What happened with Viktor had not stayed a secret, but his identity did, he knew that because when classes started again, everyone was talking about Viktor’s new mystery lover. The rumor that Viktor had a significant other came from someone who had heard Chris asking Viktor about the person in their room. Viktor had refused to reveal their identity, which caused Chris to make a scene that caused the rumor to spread. Why people were so interested in other people’s life, Yuuri would never understand. He was just glad Viktor had not disclosed anything that had happened between them, or worst said it had been him under his bed. He hadn’t even told Phichit about it and he honestly didn’t want to.

There was also something else that was wrong with his schedule this term because while he was too busy worrying and planning around Viktor's schedule, his planning had caused for Phichit and himself to have very little interaction time during the day. Sure, they lived together, but they now spend a large about of the time apart. They had not realized until classes started and Yuuri found he was in class when Phichit was not and vice versa.

At the moment his friend was in his last class of the day and Yuuri was getting ready to go over to the president’s house to have his first lesson with Yuri. He still didn’t know what to expect or how it would work out. But as long as Yuri was not totally giving up, Yuuri knew that they could make things work out. He wanted them to work, and he knew that Yuri did too. They had a goal, after all, one that meant a lot to Yuri. He had even dug out his old math notes from when he had taken the course a few years back. He had tried to refresh his mind on the material and was ready to help Yuri go over it.

When it was almost time to leave, he packed everything into his bag and even packed his laptop just in case. He was disconnecting his phone from the charger when Phichit walked in with a dramatic sigh.

“Dude I am so done with this week,” He said as he swung his backpack into the floor and crash down on Yuuri’s bed. “All I want is to eat and sleep forever,” He added and then propped himself up on one elbow to look at Yuuri. “Should we order something and watch a movie?” He asked and then looked at his packed bag with a frown.

“I’m heading out actually, you eat. I’ll grab something on my way back,” Yuuri told his friend and left the room before Phichit had time to ask where he was going, he would come up with something more rational in his head than Yuuri could ever come up with.

There was still sunlight when he left his building and life on campus was still pretty active. Students were going back to their dorms and others to class. He took the less-traveled path to the President’s house, and while it was longer than taking the straight path, Yuuri took it. The hill heading towards the house didn’t feel as long this time, even when he was walking slow. He could admit to himself that he was stalling his arrival, today’s nervousness was due to Yuuri asking himself if he was even good enough to be Yuri’s tutor. Sure, he helped Guang Hong, but he knew him, Guang Hong was his friend who he’d known for a few years. He knew Guang Hong could do it. Meanwhile, he had no idea who Yuri was or if he would be able to help him reach his goal. Aside from that, there was something so personal and heartfelt about his goal and Yuuri didn’t want to mess that up.

“Are you that out of shape, you can’t even go up a small hill like this?” he heard Yuri asked behind him. Yuuri jumped and looked behind him to see Yuri looking at him. He was holding a gym bag and had his hair half up.

“I was just thinking,” Yuuri told him and started to move at his pace. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack or something, didn’t anyone teach you not to just sneak up on people like that?” He added jokingly. Yuri didn’t say anything, he only huffed. Once they made it into the grounds Makkachin greeted them both. Yuuri’s heart soared and bend down to hug the dog he’s missed. Makkachin seemed to remember his and that made Yuuri very happy.

“That’s Viktor’s dumb dog,” Yuri said as they started towards the house with Makkachin at their heels. “He keeps her here because they can’t have dogs in that stupid frat house,” He added. Once the door was open Makkachin went inside first and straight to the living room.

“Why does Viktor not live here?” Yuuri asked when his curiosity got the best of him. 

“The idiot just wanted the whole college experience or whatever that means to him. We don’t really get that when we live with the president of the university. Plus, we were homeschooled until college.” Yuri told him, “Viktor had always done what he’s wanted anyways. And Yakov has always given him what he asks for, that is why Viktor is so spoiled. And since Yakov is the president, Viktor can get away with a lot of things.” There was annoyance in his words as well as a bit of anger.

“And you, can you get away with anything?” Yuuri asked as he unzipped his bag and started to take out his things.

“It’s different, Viktor is like Yakov’s son. He’s been with him longer since Viktor was a baby. I’m like a foster child of sorts, you don’t put much attention to a foster child,” He said bitterly.

Yuuri stared at the blond boy trying to decide if what he had said was something he truly believed. In the brief time, Yuuri met with Mr. Feltsman it never once felt like he preferred one over the other. He seemed equally as worried over both his sons, which was evident by his request to have Yuuri tutor his son and his comments on Viktor’s possible troubles with making friends. At first glance, Mr. Feltsman was an intimidating man with his hard look but his expression always changed when he spoke of his sons.

“Is that what Mr. Feltsamn thinks or what you think?” Yuuri asked with a raised eyebrow. Yuri glared at him and sat down. Yuuri followed and looked away before continuing. “I think it’s easy to interpret what other people say in the way that fits your logic, but maybe there is some fallacy in that. Once we make up our mind about something, we will associate every little thing to fit our interpretation of it,” Yuuri told him. Yuri didn’t say anything and only stared at the papers that had been set out. “Why do you think Mr. Feltsman doesn’t feel the same way towards you as he does with Viktor?” Yuuri continued.

“Because he’s Viktor’s dad and not mine, duh,” Yuri told him like it was something so obvious. Yuri folded his arms on the table and looked down. “I had a dad; he didn’t want me. I also have a grandpa and he send me away.”A knot formed in Yuuri’s throat, as he realized that Yuuri’s anger and sadness went much deeper than he thought. And maybe it had less to do with Viktor and more with the kind of examples he’s had in the past. 

“Not everyone is going to abandon you, not everyone is going to push you away. I just think you shouldn’t push away those who do want to be with you. Mr. Feltsman calls you son, he could call you anything, but he calls you son. And Viktor calls you brother, and he too could simply not acknowledge that.” Yuuri said and opened the textbook Yuri had left out. “They care, that’s all I’m trying to say,” He added.

Yuri’s glare dropped but was only replaced by an eye-roll. “Yakov said you would be my tutor, not my damn therapist,” Yuri hissed.

Yuuri laughed and nodded. “You’re right, I’m sounding like Dr. Bin now,” He told him and started to look through the book, and at the assignment list Yuri’s TA emailed him yesterday.

“Who’s Dr. Bin?” Yuri asked. Yuuri looked up surprised when he realized he had mentioned his damn doctor. He was so used to casually talking about it with his friends that it had just slipped.

“Well…he’s my psychiatrist,” Yuuri said. He saw the blond frown and look at him up and down. The act made him chuckled a little and he braced himself for whatever the other boy would say.

“Are you crazy or something?” He asked. Which caused Yuuri to let out a laugh at the blond’s lack of filter. 

“It’s not one of my diagnosis,” Yuuri told him trying to make it sound like it was no big deal

Yuri gave him one last studied look before opening up his book to the correct page. It seemed like the blond boy was willing to drop the subject and Yuuri was not going to argue, instead, he opened his own notebook and they got to work. They went over the material that they had gone through on Monday and then helped him do his homework. Much like Guang Hong, Yuri didn’t need much but someone to be there when they hesitated. Yuri was good at mental math and got angry when he had to show his work even if he already knew the answer.

Math took patience and Yuri had very little of it, Yuuri concluded that this was why he was falling behind. He would not listen because he thought he already knew everything. And maybe he did, but when he ignored the material because he already understood it, he would miss the rest, then he would be too far behind to catch up and that would just frustrate him more. Yuuri quickly learned that Yuri was the kind of person who didn’t like losing to others. Yuri also thought that a lot of things where stupid.

They were hitting their two-hour mark when Makkachin, who at first had laid down by Yuuri’s feet had jumped up and run to the door as it opened. Yuuri expected it to be Mr. Feltsman but then they both heard Viktor’s voice.

“Hey girl, I missed you too,” He said from the front door. Yuuri looked at the blond boy with wide eyes and a panicked expression. Yuri also had wide eyes and started to look around as did Yuuri. “Is dad home?” They head Viktor asks the dog.

“Behind the curtain,” Yuri whispered as he pointed at the floor-length curtain after a brief moment of panic. Yuuri didn’t even have time to argue he shoved his backpack onto the chair and half leaped towards the curtain as Viktor’s footsteps came closer. He pressed himself against the window and hid behind the thick curtain that covered it. He could feel his heart beating hard on his chest and tried to calm his breathing.

“Hey Yuri,” Viktor said and Yuuri froze thinking he had been found when he remembers the other Yuri.

“What do you want?” Yuri asked in a very hostile voice. Yuuri winced at the amount of animosity Yuri’s tone towards Viktor. He hadn’t realized how prominent Yuri’s own dislike towards his brother really was and all that was just from one sentence.

“Is dad here, I want to ask him a huge favor,” He said. Yuuri heard him walk in and sit down on what he would assume was the couch not far from where he was standing.

“He’s not here yet, now leave,” Yuri said coldly.

“Do you not want me here, I’m hurt,” Viktor said in a teasing voice. Viktor’s voice never once changed from his lighthearted tone, almost like he didn’t hear the obvious cold reception he was getting from Yuri.

“No, and I don’t care,” Yuri said nonchalantly. Then he heard more movement and then something pulling on the curtain. It stopped after a couple of tugs and he heard a low whine.

“Hey, stupid dog get back here,” Yuri exclaimed. While the tagging had stopped, he heard Makkachin start barking next.

“Don’t call Makka stupid Yura,” Viktor told him and then he started mumbling something to his dog. He couldn’t make it all out, but it was something along the lines that she was not stupid.

“Well tell her not to chew on the curtains or Yakov will get mad,” Yuri said. No, he sounded closer like he was standing right next to him. “Yakov is probably still at his office, go there,” Yuri added. Viktor sighed and Yuuri heard him stand up.

There was a short pause before Viktor spoke up again. “Yura, do you know what I should do when someone doesn’t want to talk to me?” Viktor asked. He sounded sad and overly dramatic, I made Yuuri wonder why.

“Yeah,” Yuri started. “Leave them alone.” Yuuri had to bite his lip to keep from laughing and shook his head slightly.

“But what if I want to talk to them,” Viktor asked in a very whiny voice. Yuuri smiled at his tone, it was the first time he’s heard Viktor talk in that tone. Although he’s heard that Viktor was a very overly dramatic person, he’s never had to change to witness it. He couldn’t help finding it a little endearing. Yuuri also realized how little he knew about Viktor at all, everything he did know came from the way he acted when he was around or from what others told him. Both, which were completely different.

“Not everything is about you, have you ever thought about that?” Yuri told him. “Now get out, I’m trying to study,” He added.

“Ohh, should I help you?” Viktor asked no longer sad but sounding exciting now, once more ignoring the hostility coming from Yuri.

“No, I actually want to pass this class,” Yuri said in a monotone voice.

He heard Viktor sigh again, this time loudly like he wanted Yuri to ask him what was wrong, but knowing Yuri, he would tell him to leave before he asked anything about Viktor’s life. The front door opened again and Yuuri heard Makkachin run to greet the newcomer. This time it, thankfully it was Mr. Feltsman. 

“Oh Viktor, what are you doing here?” Mr. Feltsman asked surprised. “Why don’t we talk in my office, Viktor,” He added soon after in a different tone of voice that had even Yuuri a little confused.

“Is everything okay dad?” Viktor asked catching the weird change of tone.

“Of course, let go to my office. Come one,” He said inching him to get moving. He heard footsteps and then Yuri flipped the curtain off him.

“Why am I shaking?” Yuri asked holding his hand in front of him. Yuuri laughed and looked towards the exit of the room scared that Viktor might come back.

“I should leave now, that was so close,” Yuuri told him in a whisper keeping eyeing the door in case Viktor did decide to come back. They started to quickly pack his things back into the backpack.

“I swear Yakov needs to work on being discreet, I pointed at you letting him know you were behind the curtain and he got all weird,” Yuri said rolling his eyes.

“I thought you said Viktor doesn’t come around,” Yuuri said as they walked to the door. Only then was his heart starting to lower to a normal rate, but the shaking in his own hands did not stop.

“He doesn’t, but clearly he wants Yakov to do something for him. Don’t worry I doubt he’ll come around again after he gets what he wants,” Yuri said rolling his eyes, “See you Thursday…right?” Yuri asked with hesitation.

“Of course, we have a lot to go over. Your homework looks good by the way, just make sure to pay attention in class. I have a small meeting with the TA tomorrow, she’ll let me know if there are any extra things you can do to get ahead,” Yuuri told him. The blond boy nodded and stood at the door as Yuuri walked down the path towards the hill that leads towards the street. Yuuri’s heart was now beating normally and he found himself laughing. By the end of this semester, he was going to get really good at hiding if this went on.

The next day classes went by without anything important coming up. He did realize that he was going to be seeing very little of his friends throughout the term and that was something Phichit didn’t like. And he made it be known to everyone, via text of course. Class adjustments were underway, and while Yuuri knew that he had to stick to his own dreaded schedule, Phichit didn’t have that commitment. While he had not gotten the okay from Professor Baranovskaya to join the Advanced art history class, he did transfer to Yuuri’s 8 am sketching class. He whined the whole time and made a big fuss about it, but still stayed in the class.

And since he was no longer taking a noon class they could go eat together once Yuuri left his 10 o'clock class. That was their Monday, Wednesday schedule. On Tuesday and Thursday Yuuri had his art history class at ten and was free after that or until he had to leave for his tutoring lessons with Yuri. Things were looking up and Yuuri was starting to relax, and that was probably why things started to go wrong.

It was on Thursday when things changed. He had set up the perfect plan, everything was going great. In the last three days of classes, he’s seen Viktor zero times, He didn’t count the encounter at the President’s house because they hadn’t actually seen each other. The point was, Yuuri had no contact with Viktor and zero run-ins. He didn’t see him, he didn’t hear of him and to Yuuri, for the last two days, Viktor didn’t exist. All that changed on Thursday.

It started out normal, he woke up to Phichit already gone, but he knew they would be seeing each other at lunch along with Leo, Sara, and JJ who also didn’t have noon classes. He had grabbed a granola bar from the drawer and his coffee before heading to class. He was ready to learn about old paintings and old artifacts from around the world for two hours. When he got to class, he sat on the middle row, a few tables away from the front but not all the way in the back.

The tables were in pairs and last Tuesday he’d gotten a table to himself, and while he liked having someone to sit next to, so he didn’t feel like a total loner, he also appreciated the extra space. So, he took out his textbook, a notebook, and a pen, because Professor Baranovskaya prohibited the use of laptops during lecture. The class was relatively small, about twenty students had enrolled, and that number would go down, it almost always did once they got a look at the syllabus. It was not uncommon for people to drop out on the second day, after all, today was the last day to adjust your schedule.

He recognized a few faces; some had been in the previous class with him. There was also Seung Gil and Georgi who sat a few tables in front of him. When Yuuri had told Phichit, he went crazy and then got upset Professor Baranovskaya had not accepted him into the class. Neither boy actually spoke to Yuuri, so he didn’t pay them much attention to them. In Yuuri’s head, everything was going well, he was tired as hell, but nothing was wrong. That was until Viktor walked in a few minutes after the teacher. Yuuri was confused and thought Viktor walked into the wrong classroom. Then the teacher greeted him with a cold glare in her eyes, she watched him like she was trying to ascertain something. It was a very critical look, but it didn’t seem to affect Viktor who cheerfully said good morning to her and then tried to look around the room. Yuuri looked down immediately and tried to make himself as small as possible. This could not be happening, Yuuri thought. In front of him, Georgi stopped Viktor as he made his way down the row.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Georgi asked confused. Even his friends were confused by his presence in class, Yuuri frowned wondering what it all meant.

“I’m in this class now, I don’t know you guys were here too. This is going to be the best class ever,” He told him with his cheerful tone.

Yuuri rolled his eyes at how naive he was, it was clear he’s never taken a Professor Baranovskaya class before and he had hell coming if he stayed. His friends had the same thought judging by the lack of reply to what he said. There was no more exchanged between them and Professor Baranovskaya was calling for everyone’s attention. Yuuri looked up just as Viktor walked up to his table and pulled out the chair next to him.

“Hey Yuuri,” Viktor said with the same cheerful tone he had greeted Professor Baranovskaya and his friends with. Yuuri could only stare at him as he sat down next to him and started taking out his book and notebook. In the front of the room, both Georgi and Seung Gil had turned around to see it happening as well. Everyone had the same confused look on their face, but it was Yuuri who was the most perplexed about what was happening.

“How was your break?” Viktor asked when he turned to catch Yuuri staring at him.

Yuuri blinked a couple of times, just to make sure he was really awake, and this was not some kind of dream. When he realized he really was awake, he grabbed his coffee took a big swing, and looked back to the front. He wanted to scream and leave the room, but he didn’t have enough courage to do so. So, instead, he stayed in the room and waited for class to start and in the meantime try and ignore the man beside him. Why couldn’t things work out for him, why did things always have to blow up in his face?

Professor Baranovskaya started class as she always did, with attendance. While most teachers would just pass around a sign-in sheet, Professor Baranovskaya believed in verbal confirmation that one was present, after all, attendance was ten percent of their grade.

“We know Yuuri’s here, I can smell his coffee all the way from here,” She said as she marked his name on the clipboard.

“Only way to survive this class,” Yuuri found himself saying even when his face grew red. “ Black with no add-on's” He added for those who looked at him with a curious look.

“Gross,” A girl said beside with grimes.

“It won’t be in week five,” He told her with a sympathetic smile. 

“Amen,” Someone called out from the back, they too were holding up a coffee cup. They shared a knowing nod.

He heard a couple of chuckles from those around him. They had a nice dynamic, in which Yuuri knew what to expect whenever he spoke. Professor Baranovskaya liked him, which was why it was easy for him to speak up in class. The teacher went on with the attendance and Yuuri almost groan out loud when she called Viktor’s name because it confirmed that he was in the class. his plan had fallen apart, and it was only Thursday, He knew Phichit would probably have a laugh at his expense and JJ would give him the I-told-you-so speech.

Yuuri could not concentrate very well with Viktor beside him, he learned very early in the class that Viktor didn’t have any sense of personal space. It seemed like the more that Yuuri moved away the closer Viktor got. He was so close to Viktor; he could see over his shoulder at his notes. He had neat handwriting, which was no surprise to Yuuri. He was perfect, so why should his writing be any different? For some reason that made Yuuri angry, it was not fair how effortlessly perfect he looked sitting next to him. Viktor had an arm propped on the table and his head leaned against his hand as he stared at the teacher talking in the front. Yuuri tried to relax, to listen to the lecture but he couldn’t. his notes were a jumbled mess of things he occasionally heard.

He had finished his coffee a while ago, but he still felt like a living zombie. He didn’t have much to do today but go over to the math department and talk to the TA about Yuri’s course work. Then he had to meet his friends at the cafeteria, and then at four, he had to tutor Yuri. Sure, he didn’t have much to do but it was still enough to want him to fall into a coma and only wake up when he had his shit together. At least things could not get anymore worst then having his perfectly crafted plan all apart in not even a week…right?

Wrong.

“Many emailed me about course work and projects due this term, I figured we might as well take time and talk about it today.” Professor Baranovskaya started as she walked around her desk to stand in the front. “There will be two exams, a mid-term and a final, those two are both worth twenty percent of your grade. The rest will come from your project. This term I want you to work in groups of no more than four. You will pick a type of artwork, method, or year and make a virtual art gallery presenting the art you chose. There will be two papers due and a final presentation.” She finished, took a pause, and looked around. Hands immediately went up, Yuuri’s included. She didn’t look taken back but she did look around with a tiny smile that made Yuuri lower his hand.

“Yes, you will be able to pick your groups,” She said. Many lowered their hands and cheered. “The first assignment is due next Thursday, this means you have a whole week to work together. However, no more than one group can present the same type of art. Before you leave, I want you to write your choice on the board along with the names of your groupmates,” She added and walked to her desk.

It was a very broad topic, Yuuri had read though the syllabus yesterday and now he was glad he was able to work with other people. That way the load would not be as much, but it was still a lot of research. All he had to do was find a good group, he thought as he started to look around. Most had started to get up and wander around to their friends, and Yuuri started to feel left out. Had Phichit been here he would have gotten a group together even before the professor had finished talking.

“I’m thinking Greek art?” He heard Georgi say as he and Seung Gil came up to their table. Yuuri looked away to see if he could make eye contact with anyone that was in his class last term. He didn’t ask for the perfect group, all he wanted was were people who would at last put in minimum effort. He was used to doing most of the work anyway.

“Ooh that sounds fun,” Viktor said beside him. “What do you think Yuuri, doesn’t Greek art sound fun?”

Yuuri slowly turned back to Viktor who was looking at him with a smile. Did he seriously want his opinion on his topic or was this a set up to some kind of joke? Viktor looked at him waiting for him to answer.

“Yeah, sure,” Yuuri said with not much enthusiasm and then looked at the front of the class where two girls he had his last class with were sitting. Now he had to go over and actually talk to new people, Phichit will be so proud of him. He was about to get up when Viktor spoke up again.

“Great, I’ll sign the four of us up then,” He said getting up and walking over the front before Yuuri could as much as process what he had said.

“Wait what?” Yuuri asked looking at an equally as shocked Georgi and Seung Gil. Yuuri watched as Viktor grabbed a marker and write their names and Greek art on the board. “No, I didn’t mean it like that,” Yuuri mumbled as he watched in horror. What was he supposed to do now? He needed to find a new group fast or he would be stuck with Viktor. Beside him, he heard Georgi laugh and then apologize when Yuuri turned to him with a glare.

“I have no idea what just happened, but I can’t wait to see what happens next,” He said to both Yuuri and Seung Gil.

“I’ll find a new group,” Yuuri said getting up.

“Hey, come on. It’ll be fun to work together, right?” Georgi asked. He elbowed Seung Gil who looked jumped a bit and looked at him.

“Yeah,” Was all he said after a pause.

Yuuri didn’t like the idea, not one bit. He got up and had every intention of going over to Rachel and Monica, he thinks that was their names, and asking if he could join them. When he saw Professor Baranovskaya waving him over, then she turned to the board. His shoulders slumped and he started to move before Viktor got back.

“Greek Art, I want you to narrow it down. Be more specific on what kind of works you will be focusing on. If done right this could be a great addition to your portfolio Yuuri, now I see you have teamed up with Seung Gil and Georgi. Both very strong students, Georgi tends to rumble a bit in his papers, it will do you all good to edit papers for tone and voice.” Professor Baranovskaya told him in a lower voice so only he could hear her. “I don’t know about Nikiforov, just don’t let him drag you all down. Make sure he does his part, aside from that I think you have a very good starting topic. I look forward to it,” She added.

And just like that his fate was sealed, once a professor said those worlds, Yuuri couldn’t do anything else but not let her down. He thanked her and walked back to his table were Georgi and Seung Gil had moved to, taking over the seats from the table in front of them.

“What she say?” Seung Gil asked. Yuuri was surprised to hear Sung Gil talk to him, it was rare and it did catch him a little off guard.

“She said to narrow it down, and to avoid rambling,” He said looking at Georgi on the last part. He only scoffed and looked back at the professor with a glare.

“I don’t ramble, I just like to be thorough in my explanations,” Georgi defended himself. Yuuri chuckled lightly and looked at Seung Gil who was doing the same, beside them, Viktor looked in between them with a smile.

“I’ll start a google doc and share it with you through your school email,” Yuuri told them. It would be better that way; they could all add their information and Yuuri would edit. They didn’t even have to see each other. “You can all add your stuff and I’ll edit for continuity,” He added. He saw Georgi start to nod in agreement but was stopped when Viktor elbowed him.

“We can all work on it together, we can reserve a study room at the library and work on it together. That way we can all work off each other and you won’t be stuck with all the editing,” Viktor said. There was a slight shift and Yuuri saw Georgi jump up a bit before nodding in agreement with what Viktor had said.

“That is a great idea, let’s do that,” Georgi said a little too enthusiastically for it to be genuine.

“There is not much we need to do for this paper, we just need to research fifteen different examples and give a description and background on the time period we picked,” Yuuri told them as he looked through the notes he had written down.

“We can do the research together, it will be easier and that way we won’t have to worry if someone duplicated an example,” Viktor argued. He took out his phone and started to type something. “Do we want the room with the large windows or the one in the basement?” He asked.

“Basement, I get distracted with large windows,” Georgi said and looked at Yuuri. “I think this is a good idea.” He added with a nod.

“I do too, it will be faster too,” Seung Gil chipped in.

“Perfect, is there a specific time you guys are free?” Viktor asked looking around and stopping on Yuuri.

“I work most days, but Friday works for me,” Seung Gil spoke up first as he took out his phone and started to scroll through it. “I’m free at five on Fridays,” He added after a few seconds.

“Friday works for me too,” Georgi said, Viktor nodded in agreement and all three boys turned to Yuuri.

With a loud sigh, he too agreed on Friday. A study room was reserved for Friday at 5 when Seung Gil go out of work and they would have it all night. Yuuri wanted to yell and ask what else could go wrong, but he didn’t, because things could get worst, they could most definitely get worst.

When the class time was over Yuuri was the first to leave, he told his new group he had something important to do. He didn’t wait for them to say anything, he just left. Tomorrow he was going to be in a room with Viktor for who knows how long, and then he would have classes with Viktor twice a week for the next three months, he wanted to limit the time they spend outside of those times. He was tempted to just drop the class and take an extra course in the summer. He didn’t of course, because he was not going to let someone like Viktor Nikiforov mess with his graduation date.

He walked to the math department on the other side of campus. He rarely went in that direction since he stopped taking core classes as a sophomore. Now he spends most of his time in the art department and the commons area. He would occasionally wander into the business buildings to take a few courses like finance 101 he took with Emil and Michele in order to learn how to do the dreaded taxes, they also learned how to buy a house and how to manage credit cards. It was a good course, but it also made him glad he was not majoring in business. Yuri’s professor’s office was on the third floor, and next to it was the assigned TA’s office.

Ketty Abelashvili was or used to be a friend of Phichit until the infamous Valentine’s day date that ended in Ketty called his efforts for making Seung Gil jealous useless and her covered in food. According to Phichit, Ketty threatened to tell Seung Gil about his crush, and in a panic state, he had accidentally bumped into a waiter making them spill the contents they were carrying all over Ketty. She had not been very happy about that and has not spoken another word to Phichit since then. Yuuri and her, however, had no problem. She was a Business major with a minor in music and was the teaching assistant for the math department. Her office was open when Yuuri arrived, she was getting up and putting things into her bag when she saw him walk in.

“Hey Yuuri,” She said and zipped her bag up. “I just finished correcting some of the assignments, I can say that Yuri is doing well so far,” She added.

“That’s good, it’s only the start, but I can see he only needs a little push,” Yuuri told her. They exited the office and Yuuri waited until Ketty closed the office door.

“I was surprised when I heard you would be his tutor,” She told him after they started walking. Yuuri let out a loud gasp and brought his hand to his chest.

“Why, you don’t think I’m good at math?” He teased. They had been in the same math class when they were both freshmen, while Yuuri was not a math enthusiast, he was one of the top students. Math just came easy to him, it required concentration and sometimes it helped with coping. Focusing on math problems was always better than focusing on real problems.

“No, I just mean that I didn’t think you would become a tutor for anyone, much less that rude guy,” She said making a face.

“He was pretty intimidating when I first met him, but after we set a goal, he mellowed down quite a bit,” He told her. She took out a sheet of paper from the folder she had in her hands.

“This is a copy of the lesson plan for the month. Professor Lambert is making it non-cumulative now, so that changed from when we had to take it,” Ketty said handing him the sheet of paper, “Lucky bastards,” She added.

“It’s so unfair, but I guess they need to do whatever it takes to raise that pass-fail scale,” Yuuri commented and looked at the schedule. It was just like he remembered from a couple of years ago. He smiled as he started to reminisce about the simpler time when he was only a freshman when his biggest problem was figuring out where each class was located at the start of each semester. 

“You sound a bit tense, are classes already hitting you that hard?” Ketty asked amused.

“Yes and no,” Yuuri said and then told her about his plan to avoid Viktor and how all that went to hell two hours ago. They were at the courtyard when she stopped walking to try and catch her breath from how hard she was laughing, Yuuri was not amused.

“Honestly, that little rivalry you two have going on has been the highlight of my year,” She told him. “Why did it start anyway?”

Yuuri struggled. “I have no idea, I’m just trying to avoid him so we don’t fight again.”

“Well seems like fate has a different idea, not only is he now your group partner, you are tutoring his little brother. You two are bound to run into each other, didn’t you say lessons are at his place?”

Yuuri pulled a face and let out a loud sigh. “He apparently rarely goes to the President’s house,” Yuuri told her and then went on to describe what had happened during their first lesson. She was laughing again, this time with tears gathering around her eyes.

“Why are you doing this?” She asked between laughs. “You are playing with fire with this tutoring job, you have to know that.”

“They have a cute dog,” He admitted and smiled thinking of the brown poodle.

Ketty looked at him like he was crazy. Yuuri didn’t reply to that he only shrugged. They were now close to the common area where he knew his friends where be waiting for him. Yuuri invited her to sit with them but Ketty declined with a hell no.

“Tell that friend of yours that he should be lucky I’m not a resentful person. I could easily still go up to Seung Gil and totally embarrass him, now I have more reasons to do so,” Ketty said.

“That would actually be a great thing, you should do that. Phichit is not doing anything to try and ask him out. And today I found out he can indeed say more than one syllable at a time,” he joked. “So, there is no excuse on any of their part,” He added.

They walked into the cafeteria, it was pretty crowded and Yuuri started to wonder if coming at noon was a good idea. He looked around and found his friends sitting in the same general area they always sat in. Not far were Viktor and his group.

“You know for someone who says they hate you, he’s always around the places you’ll be at,” Ketty commented on how close they chose to sit.

“I don’t understand him, but I don’t have to because he’s not important to me,” Yuuri said and got in line to get their food.

“That’s harsh Yuuri,” Ketty told him. “In my opinion, what you and Viktor need is to sit and talk.”

“We did, and he ended up calling me names and saying he hated me,” Yuuri told her, “I don’t like it when people judge me without knowing me. He called me names even before I ever actually spoke a word to him, normal people don’t just call people they don’t know a piece of shit,” Yuuri argued.

“I actually happen to know many people who do,” Ketty said.

“Yeah and I bet all those people are assholes,” Yuuri told her with a look. She put both hands up in a surrender motion and chuckled. 

“Okay, so he’s an asshole. Don’t you want to at least change his mind, make him see that you are actually a really cool guy?” Ketty continued.

Yuuri turned to look at her and shook his head. “I honestly don’t care what he thinks about me anymore. I don’t think I really cared at first, I just don’t like it when he and his friends hurt my friends. Chris called Guang Hung stupid when he saw Guang Hong struggling with math,” He told her. It hurt that Viktor had been mean to him, but he was used to it, he could take it. They crossed the line when they involved his friends.

Ketty gasped, “That doesn’t sound like Chris, he jokes around, but he would never intentionally hurt anyone’s feelings.” Ketty said.

“That’s what I’ve heard, but that’s not how he’s right now. So, something changed, and it all started when Viktor arrived,” Yuuri told her, “Even Yuri thinks there something wrong with him. He calls him a narcissistic asshole, who doesn’t care about others.”

“Really, his own brother thinks that?” Ketty asked with wide eyes. Yuuri only nodded. “Well it looks like I didn’t know who Viktor really is, he seems like such a nice person though. It still doesn’t explain why he’s so fixed on being mean to you, did you do something to him?”

Yuuri shook his head, “I’ve gone through every interaction I’ve ever had with him before he called me a piece of shit in front of everyone.” He’s given it great thought and a couple of sleepless nights.

“And?” Ketty asked gesturing at him to continue.

“There are none, before that day I had never spoken to him. We had a few classes together, but I didn’t once speak to him.” Yuuri said. He had always been to scared to approach him, he always got tongue-tied when he was around, and he always found ways to talk himself out of saying good morning or commenting on his art.

“That makes no sense, no one hates someone they don’t know. Something happened, maybe you just don’t remember or realize it,” Ketty said. She looked at him up and down with narrowed eyes. “Could he be jealous?”

Yuuri scoffed as they moved up the line. “Of what?”

“How much cooler you are than him?” Ketty replied with a smile.

“Hahaha so funny,” Yuuri said dryly. As far a coolness went Viktor was far more popular than Yuuri could ever dream of being. He was crazy talented and pretty to top it all up, Yuuri didn’t stand a chance against him in that department. There was also the fact that Viktor was much more likable, he was outgoing and interesting while he himself was not. Regardless, Ketty did have a point. It wouldn’t hurt to sit down and have a little chat with him, find out why they hated each other so much, and all that stuff. Doing so would be hard, but maybe once he understood why Viktor was so mean to him, they could move on with their lives.

When he got to the table Phichit was sitting beside Leo, they were both looking at him as he approached. Sara and JJ were laughing at something Leo had said and they all quiet down when Yuuri was in hearing distance.

“Hey,” Yuuri said as he took his seat next to Phichit. There was a brief pause where they all looked at each other.

“Hey, how was class?” Phichit asked in a tone that said he knew something Yuuri didn’t.

“Fine…” Yuuri trailing off and giving him a confused look.

“So, why am I just hearing that you are now working in a group project with Seung Gil?” He asked acting as if Yuuri had withheld important information from him.

“Because it just happened,” Yuuri told him and stabbed his fork into his food. “You’ll never guess what shitty thing just happened to be,” He added.

“For some reason, Viktor transferred into your class and now for some other reason you guys are now working together in a group project?” Sara told him.

“How…” Yuuri started but Leo showed him his phone. On it was a tweet from someone in their class who had tweeted about the whole thing. Yuuri took his phone and scrolled through them.

**“Viktor is in my Art History class! OMG this class is now #Blissed”**

Yuuri made a face and kept reading the next one.

**“Why is Viktor sitting next to Yuuri, don’t those two hate each other? #Confused”**

**“I hate group projects so much. I wished I could have been in Yuuri and Viktor’s group but it’s full. Why do all the good-looking people hang out with each other #NotFair”**

She posted pictures with all her tweets, Yuuri could see himself looking forward at the front of the room while Viktor beside him was looking right at him. In the next picture, Viktor and Yuuri were talking, Georgi and Seung Gil were standing beside Viktor. That must have been when Viktor asked him what he thought about Greek art. He wished he would have said it was a shitty idea, maybe then he wouldn’t be stuck in this situation.

“How did this happen?” Leo asked with a laugh. Sara and JJ were also clearly enjoying his predicament. At least someone was enjoying this, Yuuri thought because at the moment everything felt like he had been shoved into a hole and ordered to get out on his own.

“I don’t know,” Yuuri said, he didn’t mean it to, but it came out as a whine. 

“Cheer up Yuuri, it can’t all be bad, I’m sure something good can come out from this. Maybe you and Viktor can try and be friends,” Sara told him with an encouraging smile. “Mila says he’s not a bad person, maybe after you two spend some time together he’ll realize how great you are.” Things were not going the way he had planned them and while what Sara told him might sound nice, Yuuri was yet to see the silver lining in his current situation.


	7. Burying the hatchet

“He did what!” Yuri exclaimed when Yuuri told him what had happened to him earlier that day. He meant for it to only be a simple conversation starter as they got ready to dive into his homework, but Yuri seemed to have a lot of feelings towards what happen and he was going to let them be known. “That bastard, what is he planning?” Yuri put on his thinking face.

“Let’s not worry about that now, have you started your homework?” Yuuri asked as he tried to move on. He had not expected to spend as much time on the subject as they currently were and that was perhaps his fault. In reality, he just wanted to vent and what better person to do so with than someone who could understand him. Now he was starting to realize that was probably not a good idea. 

“And now you’re stuck with him as your groupmate, can’t you do something about it?” he asked. Yuuri sighed and shook his head, more at the fact that they were still on the subject than having to be stuck with Viktor as his groupmate.

“It’s too late for that now, all I can do it just ignore him and move on,” Yuuri told him. He had come to terms with the idea that he’s going to have to spend time with Viktor, that he has two assignments they have to work on together, and that his grade now depends on how well they can get the job done. It was no big deal…he told himself, it was fine. He couldn’t do anything about it anyway, so he had to make peace with it and keep going.

“That is so stupid,” Yuri said, then he took out his notebook and textbook. “We got assigned like five pages of problems, that sucks,” He added. Yuuri was relieved at the change of subject and jumped in quickly to try and steer them in the right direction. Hopefully, one that didn’t involve taking about his personal troubles.

“Professor Lambert is known for being a little hard, but it’s all to prepare you,” Yuuri told him and looked at the sheet with the numbers of problems he had to do and then started to turn the pages to the right section. “Ketty said that this term Professor Lambert is making the final noncumulative,” He added to try and give him a little hope. Yuri didn’t seem the least affected by the fact. How ungrateful, was all Yuuri could think while shaking his head.

They started to work on the problems and Yuuri found that the blond barely needed any help, he showed a clear understanding of the material, it was only when he got stuck that Yuuri understood the reason he was there in the first place. Yuri was the type that if something didn’t work on the first try, he gave up. Not just that problem, but the whole thing. That was where Yuuri came in, he showed him where he went wrong, hinted at what he needed to fix, and was there to watch him work through it all over again until he understood the concept.

There were quite a few problems, most Yuri was able to do on his own and if not, he would ask for assistance…in a very demanding manner, Yuuri could only smile when that happened. It was only the second time they’ve seen each other but Yuuri was getting used to his temper. The good thing was that assistance was scarce and so was the yelling. That was why Yuuri was able to also use that time to work on his own homework, which was mostly sketching. Occasionally Yuuri had to tell Yuri to get back to his homework when he caught the younger boy looking over at what he was drawing.

“You’re much better at that than Viktor,” Yuri had said when he saw the picture starting to gain form. It was a simple sketch of a flower vase filled with lavender and lilies that were placed in the center of the table. He liked the shapes and had found himself drawing it eventually he decided he could use it as one of his assignments.

“Hmh,” Was all Yuuri replied and looked over at what Yuri was working on. Yuri was now on the last set of problems. His notebook looked like a scribbled mess but at least he was showing his work, and luckily, he was circling his answers. Yuuri thought he might have to teach him how to organize his work on paper, but that would be later when he could come up with a proper way to approach the subject without making the blond go on a defensive mode. It was getting close to the two-hour mark when Makkachin moved from the corner of the room it decided to lay and ran to the door. Yuuri tensed up thinking it would be Viktor again, but the voice of the President echoed as he greeted the dog making both boys in the living room visibly relax.

“Hello, how is everything?” He asked when he walked into the living room and saw them sitting on the table. Mr. Feltsman looked as he always did, well dressed in a suit and with a look on his face that to the untrained eye would look like he was glowering, but Yuuri knew better.

“Yuri is doing very well, I don’t think he needs me,” Yuuri said smiling. From the corner of his eye, he saw Yuri’s head snapped in his direction.

“Yes, I do!” He said fast and the look in this face said he instantly regretted it. “I mean, you said you would help me, so I can go to Russia in the summer,” He restated.

“Of course, I was only joking,” Yuuri told him. “But he clearly paying attention in class,” He added towards his father. Mr. Feltsman nodded satisfied with what he was hearing and walked around to see what Yuri was doing. He made a face when he saw his notes, Yuuri tried to keep a straight face. 

“How can you even read that?” He was clearly only teasing his son. However, Yuuri secretly wondered the same thing too. 

“Oi!” Yuri exclaimed covering his notebook and sending a glare to his father. “I don’t say anything about your scribbles.” Mr. Feltsman huffed and crossed his arms across his chest. He looked down at his son for a moment and then laughed.

“What do you want for dinner?’ Mr. Feltsman asked as his laughter came to a light chuckle. Unlike what his initial expressions would suggest, Mr. Feltsman was not a mean or uptight person. Although he was a little intimidating at first, he was kind and caring towards his children. In the very short amount of time he’s spent with both Mr. Feltsman and Yuri he’s realized they are not how they seem at first glance and that made Yuuri wonder if that was also the case with Viktor.

“Pirozhki,” Yuri replied without missing a beat. His father roll his eyes at him and stood up straight.

“You won’t eat it even if I make it, so do why ask for it?” He asked. There was no ill intent in his words, it was like an ongoing argument that has long lost its purpose.

“You asked what I wanted to eat,’ Yuri told him with a shrug and then turned to Yuuri, “My grandpa makes the best Pirozhki, Yakov tried to recreate it once, but it was a failure.”

“Hey, Viktor liked it,” his father augured. “I didn’t think it turned out too bad either.” He added.

“Yeah, as I said, a failure,” Yuri said looking at his father and then back at Yuuri.

“I’m making Stroganoff,” Mr. Feltsman said in defeat, “Do you want to stay for dinner?” He asked turning towards Yuuri.

Yuuri felt like a deer in headlights, his head turned in Yuri’s direction. The blond boy nodded at him with a smile, and Yuuri felt very inclined to accept, so he did. The fact pleased Yuri, while he tried to hide it by going back to his homework, a smile gave him away. Yuuri wondered how many friends Yuri had, did he have friends he could invite over for dinner or friends he could go out with? He knew that he and Otabek were friends to some extent, not the ‘let’s hang out all the time’ type like he was with Phichit. But he’s been around, at least enough for Mr. Feltsman to have heard of him.

“So, you’re friends with Otabek right?” Yuuri found himself asking mostly out of curiosity and another part to fill the silence. Yuri looked up with a suspicious look on his face. There was a hint of red in his cheeks too, that piqued Yuuri’s curiosity even more.

“Why do you want to know,” He questioned with a defensive tone.

“He’s my friend, he’s mentioned you before, just thought I would ask,” Yuuri said casually. That caught Yuri’s interest because he put his pencil down and gave him his full attention.

“You’re friends with Otabek?” He asked surprised, He gave Yuuri a once over again as if calculating if he was cool enough to be hanging out with Otabek, Yuuri himself wanted to know the answer. After a brief second Yuri only let out a ‘hum’ sound and it sounded very much of approval. 

“Yeah, he’s actually the roommate to another of my friends. That is how we met, we’ve all been hanging out for a while,” Yuuri told the blond boy. Otabek’s introduction to their small group had been almost instantly, and since that was how it had worked with everyone else who joined them, no one rose an eyebrow when they had a new member joining them. He was usually quiet but did contribute to the conversation when his opinion was requested or if he wanted to say something. Overall, he mostly spoke to Guang Hong and Leo, who he’s known longer and JJ who he had some classes with.

“Oh,” Yuri said, “Do you have a lot of friends?” Yuuri thought about his question and didn’t quite know the answer. He did have a number of friends or at least people that he hung out with. He saw them as his friends, over the years they had all become closer.

“Well, kinda,” Yuuri told him and made a face.

“You don’t sound very convinced,” the blond pointed out.

“Most of the people I hang out with are originally my friend Phichit’s friends. We all just hang out by default. I think that over the years we’ve gotten closer, but Phichit is the only friend that I’ve made on my own.” He admitted.

Yuri nodded. “So, Otabek hangs out with you and your friends?”

“Yep, we have lunch together when we’re free or dinner. Sometimes we hang out, we went to that frat party during spring break and then the movies,” He told him.

“He went to that party?” Yuri asked surprised. “He doesn’t really seem like the type who would.” Yuuri laughed at that and got his phone out and scrolled through his own gallery to show him the pictures he took. He liked to take pictures, but he didn’t post every single one as Phichit did.

“This is him losing to me at beer pong,” He showed him. Yuri moved closer to get a better look. “It also started raining in the middle of the party and for some reason, everyone thought it was a good idea to dance outside,” He told him and clicked at the video that Sara had sent everyone. It showed them dancing outside slashing around on the wet grass, Yuuri was dancing with Phichit and Otabek was in the shot pushing Guang Hong who was trying to get him to dance. Leo was on the other side trying to grind on him, Otabek was laughing but trying to get away at the same time.

“Oh god!” Yuri laughed.

“Why didn’t you come, everyone was invited,” Yuuri asked as he changed the video to the next picture. It was of all of them taking a group picture, it was taken by some random guy they shoved Phichit’s phone at and had been uploaded to Phichit’s Instagram and Twitter. He almost winced at the picture because he was wearing Viktor’s shirt. Luckily, no one had noticed his different shirt, it also helped that it was still a shade of blue and that everyone was drunk by then.

“I don’t like going to stupid parties,” Yuri told him but didn’t take his eyes off the picture.

“Yeah me neither, but there is not much of a choice when your friends with Phichit,” Yuuri said. “You should come with us to the next one, it’ll be fun,” He added. Yuri turned up to look at him with a wide expression he quickly covered by looking away.

“We’ll see,” Was all he said as he sat back and went back to his math problems. Yuuri didn’t push him. They finished a few minutes before Mr. Feltsman called them over to the dining room. Like the rest of the house, the dining room was similarly decorated and equally as impersonal. There was a long table with a big vase in the middle, Mr. Feltman had placed three sets of plates on the table, two on either side of the head of the table. It smelled very good too and he was excited to try a home-cooked meal for the first time in a very long time.

“What is your favorite food?” Yuri asked once they were seated and Mr. Feltsman started to serve.

“Katsudon,” Yuuri responded almost instantly. “No one can beat my mother’s though, so I haven’t had it since I left home,” He added.

“What is it, maybe Yakov can try to butcher it too,” Yuri said sending his father a look. His father gave him a dry look but turned to Yuuri awaiting to know what the dish was.

“It’s a pork cutlet bowl, its rice, pork, and egg, it really good. I wish I could make it, but the dorms don’t have kitchens,” He told them sadly.

During their summer vacation, when he and Phichit were staying with JJ and Isabella, they had nights where they would all cook together or at least try. Try being used loosely, because most of the time they would either burn something because they were not paying attention or just get too overwhelmed with all the instructions, they always ended up ordered take out instead. Phichit and JJ had a very small attention span in the kitchen, while Isabella and himself were almost always the ones to do all the work. At the end of a hot day, they all rather order takeout than cook.

“Well, as long as you don’t blow it up or burn the house down you can try your luck in ours,” Mr. Feltsman said pointing behind him at the door leading towards the kitchen. Yuuri’s eyes went wide and he turned to Yuri.

“Do you want to try my mom’s Katsudon?” He asked. The blond boy nodded. “Okay, but only if you make Pirozhki,” He added.

“I won’t be a good as my grandpa’s,” Yuri told him.

“Mine will most defiantly not be as good as my mom’s,” Yuuri stated. And it was set, they would come up with a date where they could go grocery shopping and make Pirozhki and Katsudon in Mr. Feltsman’s kitchen. Mr. Feltsman didn’t seem the least nervous about having two college students take over his kitchen, he looked more pleased by the smile on Yuri’s face. Yuuri concluded that Mr. Feltsman cared about both his sons and that it was nothing like Yuri had described it.

\----

Later, when he got back to his dorm room Phichit was working on his desk and listening to music. He looked back when Yuuri opened the door and gave him a short wave. Yuuri was tired and more than ready for bed.

“You’re back, how was class?” he asked as he turned back to his laptop.

“It was alright, did you eat?” Yuuri asked. He walked to his bed and put his bag down.

“Yeah, Leo, Guang Hong and I went out to eat,” Phichit replied then turned to look at him. “So, Seung Gil told Leo that you guys will be working on your group project tomorrow,” he added.

“Yeah, I don’t understand why. I offered to just make a google doc so they could just throw in their information and I would edit. They decided to meet up instead,” Yuuri added with a loud sigh, he flopped onto his bed and moved his arm over his eyes. He was tired, full, and ready for bed. Luckily tomorrow he didn’t have anything else to do until five.

“Should I go with you?” Phichit suggested. Yuuri thought it would be a horrible idea and he was half tempted to let him tag along. But the thing was, if he did tag along, they would most likely not get much work done, and then they would have to meet up again.

“Nope,” Yuuri said. Phichit let out a short whine and he heard his chair scrape on the floor. Seconds later he felt his bed dip down and Phichit by his side.

“Please, this could be my sign to hang out with Seung Gil,” Phichit said. Yuuri sat up and turned to look at him. 

“Oh really, me having to be in a group project with Viktor is only so you can hang out with your crush?” Yuuri asked with disbelief. Phichit gave him an innocent grin. From his pocket, Yuuri felt his phone vibrate. “Look, maybe you can show up at the end. I really just want to get as much done so we don’t have to meet up again,” Yuuri told him. He reached into his back pocket and took out his phone, on the screen he could see now two messages from an unknown number.

 **-Unknown-** Hey Yuuri! I’m thinking of bringing some snacks, what do you like?

 **-Unknown-** Also, are you allergic to anything?

Yuuri frowned at the number and then turned to Phichit showing him the message thread. “Do you know this number?” He asked. Phichit took a closer look and shook his head. Yuuri typed a ‘who is this?” and placed his phone on the bedside table.

“Why don’t you just walk up to Seung Gil and ask him out like a normal person?” Yuuri asked for a thousand time. Phichit gave him an unamused look and laid down on Yuuri’s bed.

“Have you ever liked someone so much that it’s hard to talk to them, because your whole head goes blank whenever you see them?” Phichit asked with a melodramatic sigh that made him fall back onto the bed. “He’s so cool and handsome, and I don’t know what to say when I’m around him. It’s like I forget how to speak words and everything in my head just becomes a stupid mess,” He added. 

Yes, he knew that feeling very well. Yuuri smiled at his friend and laid down next to him, they stared at the ceiling until Yuuri’s phone vibrated again. Not bothering to get up, he reached over for his phone and looked at the new message.

 **-Unknown-** Viktor…

Yuuri groaned and dropped his phone on his chest. How did Viktor even have his number, why was he texting him now? This semester was supposed to be a Viktor free one and now he was popping up everywhere. Maybe it was a sign, a sign that he was the worst, so he was being punished. Regardless, he had to suck it up and deal with it. The only real consolation he had was that Viktor had not been mean to him recently, maybe come thing changed and if that was the case, Yuuri was willing to make peace with him. 

“Who is it?” Phichit asked. 

“Viktor,” He mumbled as he stared at his phone for a few seconds. 

“Block him!” His friend told him. Yuuri didn’t, instead, he went to take a shower and then got ready for bed. He could care about things again in the morning, at that moment he was too tired to care about anything that was not sleep.

\----

In the morning, Phichit woke him up with a pop song full blast what made him jump off his bed and end up on the floor. “The fuck Phichit!” Yuuri exclaimed as he peeled himself off the floor and looked up at a giggling Phichit.

“Let’s go eat, Leo and Guang Hong are coming too,” He told him as he jumped up and down. Phichit was not a morning person, and neither was Yuuri. Yet at that moment Yuuri looked at his friend not recognizing him. How could he be so cheerful?

“What is wrong with you it literally…” Yuuri grabbed his phone from the bedside table and looked at it, “Holy shit, it’s one!” He exclaimed and shot up.

“Yeah, sleepy head let go out to lunch,” Phichit told him. Yuuri stared down at his phone not believing that he overslept that much. He also had a couple of notifications, most of them came from a new group chat that he had been added to. He saw Seung Gil’s and Georgi’s names on the screen and a few from the unknown number. Right, Viktor, he had not added his number to his contacts yet. He opened it up and saw that the thread started from nine and the most recent one was from Georgi asking why he was not replying.

- **Yuuri K**.- Hey guys, sorry I just woke up!

- **Georgi P.-** Long night Yuuri? ;)

- **Yuuri K.-** Long week. (×﹏×)

He scrolled up until he got to the top. Georgi had started the chat and gave everyone a good morning. They discussed the so-called snacks that Viktor was going to bring and reminded everyone to show up at five. Viktor and Georgi went on a long argument about what was the best snack, to which Seung Gil replied by siding with Georgi. Viktor had mentioned Yuuri multiple times to get him to side with him. Yuuri didn’t side with anyone but did let them know that he would be there at five.

Yuuri went to the cafeteria with Phichit, Leo, and Guang Hong. It being Friday and already one in the afternoon, there were not many people around. They were able to quickly grab their food and take their pick of seating. They ended up in their usual spot by the wide windows looking out to the courtyard.

“So today is the day huh?” Leo asked in a teasing manner. “Can I play devil’s advocate here and say that this is probably not such a bad thing?” He added.

“How is this not a bad thing, it ruined my entire plan of having a Viktor free semester,” Yuuri exclaimed. His plan had been perfect and now it was ruined, and maybe he was angrier about that fact than actually having Viktor in class.

“Look you don’t have to be his friend or anything, but this could be an opportunity to bury the hatchet,” Leo continued.

“Bury what? Can you stop with the fancy talk, what does that even mean?” Phichit asked. 

Leo chuckled, “It means to make peace with him.” 

“You should have just said that.” Phichit pointed out, “International students here,” He added as he pointed at himself, Yuuri and Guang Hong. Leo rolled his eyes and returned his attention back to Yuuri who was too busy thinking about what Leo had said.

“You might have a point,” Yuuri told him. Maybe he could try to make peace with Viktor, they didn’t have to become friends or anything. But this could allow them to at least be civil with each other. Maybe by making Yuuri be in their group, Viktor was taking the first step. Yuuri could get behind that idea, after all, if Viktor stopped being mean to him, Yuuri would have no reason to want to stay away from him. It was very unlikely they would ever meet after graduation but it wouldn’t hurt to close that chapter with all his issues solved and hopefully on a good note. He would hate to look back at this moment and regret it, he already had too much regret in his life. 

“Look Yuuri, I’ll support you in whatever you choose to do. But if that son of a bitch hurts you again, I’ll cut his…” Phichit said but the last part was muffled by him chewing his food. He found amusing the pure image of his friend with chipmunk cheeks going after Viktor.

“You are only supporting him because if he continued to hang out with Viktor, he’d have to hang out with Seung Gil too,” Guang Hong expertly pointed out. Leo and Yuuri both agreed with what their friend had said.

“Pfft, that’s not true,” Phichit said with a dishonest look on his face. They continued to tease Phichit about his crush on Seung Gil, Yuuri’s phone continued to vibrate with new messages from the group chat. He ignored them for the most part, it was mostly Georgi and Viktor talking about things they could clearly be talking about in private.

Seung Gil was working so his messages were far apart and mostly were telling them to shut up or he would block them. Yuuri learned that via text Seung Gil was more vocal…very vocal actually. There were three messages from him saying how he was going to torture the other two boys if they didn’t stop blowing up his phone. Yuuri shared those with his friends who were equally as surprised at the composition of Seung Gil’s vocabulary. Leo refused to let Guang Hong read most of it because of its clearly R rating, it only made Guang Hong want to read them more. Yuuri had to take back his phone in case the other two decided to wrestle for it in the middle of the cafeteria. Phichit was living for them and demanded to read anything and everything Seung Gil texted. 

Yuuri didn’t reply to anything, mostly because he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to get caught in the middle of their snack fight by siding with someone and he also didn’t want to be added to Seung Gil’s kill list by also blowing up his phone while he was at work. Instead, he busied by reading the messages and laughing along with his friends at what they said.

Back in his room, Yuuri worked on his homework for most of his time, He had finished the sketch due for class at Yuri’s and now he just had to worry about doing the reading for Professor Baranovskaya ’s class. He was halfway done with his notes when it was time to leave, he bid his goodbyes to Phichit, who reminded him he would be showing up at around six with food for him. It was just an excuse to get into the study room, but he was getting food out of it, so he didn’t argue.

Yuuri grabbed his laptop and bag before leaving. The walk towards the library never felt so short, he even walked as slow as he could. The whole way he was looking down at his phone hoping to receive a cancellation message from any of them. Something that told him he was free to go back to his room and not worry about being in a room with Viktor for however long it took them to get a good start on their project. When the library came into view, he put his phone away and started his breathing exercises instead. It would do him no good to worry himself into an anxiety attack now. 

He took the stairs down to the basement where the study room they had booked was located. Even if it was Friday there were still a lot of students around. Yuuri noticed most of the seats on the first floor taken. He saw the door open when he reached to the basement area, Viktor had booked the first study room to the right of the stairs. From where he stood, he could see movement inside and he prayed it was Georgi or Seung Gil.

It was Viktor.

He was sitting on a leather chair with his back to the door. His phone was out, and he had his legs up on the table. There was faint music coming out of his phone, Yuuri didn’t know the name of the song, but he recognized the melody. On the long conference table were two grocery bags filled with bags of what Yuuri concluded were the snacks Viktor had mentioned. Yuuri didn’t mean to be a creep by standing at the door looking at him, but he couldn’t help it. It was second nature for him to just stare at Viktor from afar. To admire the way his hair fell effortlessly to the side, the way his long delicate fingers moved across his phone. The way his long legs were stretched out in front of him.

Yuuri always thought Viktor could be a model, hell he could be anyone’s muse. He sure was Yuuri’s muse, until Viktor ruined it all by being an asshole that was. That didn’t take away the fact Viktor Nikiforov was a sight to behold. In front of him, Viktor let out a loud sigh and dropped his head back into the chair. The sigh had been of deep desperation and sadness. Yuuri wondered what could cause such emotions from someone like Viktor. Before Yuuri could wonder anymore, Viktor turned in his chair and caught Yuuri looking at him.

“Ah, Yuuri,” He said in a delighted tone. Gone was the helplessness that had surrounded him a few seconds ago. “Come in,” He waved him in and pointed to the chair next to him. Yuuri entered but went around the table to the other side instead and took a seat in the seat farthest from where he sat. He started to take out his laptop and notebook when Viktor spoke up again.

“Did you get our messages?” He asked with a curious tone.

“Uh…yeah,” Yuuri replied but didn’t look up from his laptop. He didn’t think he could actually look at him and not embarrass himself. He hoped Seung Gil and Georgi arrived soon.

“Oh, well you never replied with your favorite snack. So, I bought a couple of choices,” He continued. Yuuri heard him messing with the bags and the sound of bags being brought out. From the corner of his eye, he saw Viktor extend something towards him. Yuuri looked up briefly and accepted a bag Viktor was holding in his direction.

“Thanks,” Yuuri told him. His voice was tense, but he tried to smile to make the interaction as friendly as he could. Viktor smiled back, but before he could say anything Georgi walked in. And Yuuri felt like he could breathe again. Mostly because Georgi started talking to Viktor and took the pressure off Yuuri in having to continue to hold a conversation with him, it was too awkward, and he didn’t know what to say.

Yuuri was never sure what to say to Viktor, and maybe that was also the problem. Viktor was intimidating and Yuuri found himself not knowing how to act scared that it would only trigger something that would make Viktor say mean things to him again. He was still trying to figure out what he did wrong the first time. 

“Seung Gil is on his way, he wanted to change before coming,” Georgi told them and sat down next to Viktor.

“That’s fine, we can get started and fill him in,” Yuuri said and brought up the websites he had looked up. “I send you all a link to the google docs I created,” He added. It was better to get the meeting started now than later, the sooner they started the sooner they could be done, and he could leave. He already had a proposition written down; he wrote it before coming. He also had an outline of what the paper would look like on a google doc and he added places were all they needed to do was add their stuff. If he were lucky, they could finish in an hour or less. He could only hope. The two boys opened their own laptops and logged in. A few minutes later Georgi let out a low whistle.

“Damn Yuuri, did you write the whole paper already?” Georgi asked as he scrolled down the document.

“I could.” Yuuri was tempted to say. “It’s just an outline, I used templets from past Professor Baranovskaya ’s assignments. This will assure us full points in the structural part of the assignment,” He said instead. “I also found sites with good information on Greek art, we just need to agree on what specific type of art we will be focusing on,” He added.

“I say we go cliché and focus on sculptures,” Georgi replied without looking up from his screen, his fingers already flying across his keyboard.

“That’s what I thought too,” Yuuri agreed with him and started to open the tabs he had saved on his laptop. 

“Perfect, we need at least fifteen different examples. Do you think we need to narrow it down to year as well?” Viktor interjected. He sounded bright and bubbly again. 

“I was thinking we could each pick a year and present art from that period, it will add dept. Especially when we are presenting it, it will also show the change in art throughout the years,” Yuuri replied to him.

They started to look for years and figure out how to divide them, so they made sense. Seung Gil arrived when they had divided them into four parts. Georgi filled him in and Seung Gil agreed with everything they had agreed on so far. An hour had passed before they started to look for their examples. It was also apparently how long both Georgi and Viktor could go without taking a break.

“Did you start the reading for class yet?” Georgi asked Viktor as he reached out for his choice of chips and ripped it open.

“Nope, I’ll do it sometime this weekend,” He replied. He returned to the position he had been in when Yuuri walked in. “Does she always give such long readings?” He asked. Yuuri couldn’t help but chuckle, he was not to only one because Seung Gil who was typing on his computer also let out a laugh. “What?” Viktor asked looking around.

“Oh Viktor, you really have no idea what you got yourself into,” Georgi told him with a look of pity. “Professor Baranovskaya is a monster, and those who choose to take her classes are…well, I can only describe us as masochists,” Georgi added.

Yuuri could agree with him on that, Professor Baranovskaya was a tough teacher. When he first met her, Yuuri had been very intimidated by everything about her. Especially her teaching style and expectations. She had been the first person Minako introduced to him when he arrived in Detroit as a freshman. Over the years he learned a few things about her. She was someone who cared about what she thought and could not tolerate when people didn’t take it seriously. She was not a bad person; she knew that not everyone was going to pass her classes with A’s, but she did expect students to at least try. Her advanced classes were hard to get into and Yuuri was still wondering how Viktor managed to get in without ever taking a class with her before. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Viktor asked looking around again and settling his gaze on Yuuri.

“It means that this is a short reading, Viktor,” Yuuri told him with a smile. Yuuri felt a kind of satisfaction when Viktor’s eyes grew wide and he looked back at Yuuri with his mouth gaping, even his cheeks turn red. Maybe he’ll drop the class. Yuuri would never be so lucky, but it didn’t hurt to hope.

“Welcome to hell,” Seung Gil teased, then turned to Yuuri. “I send you a link, by the way, I found a site with a couple of sculptures in your period Yuuri,” He added.

They went back to work, and something changed. He didn’t know what it was, but he could feel it in the air around them. Viktor was much more engaging, he leaned forward until he had half his torso flat on the table. He started to joke around with Georgi when he found a sculpture that looked funny. The dick jokes were inevitable, Yuuri had expected them from the moment they agreed on sculptures. He still couldn’t help laughing at a few, especially when Seung Gil pointed something out. Because for some reason, Seung Gil, the guy who to Yuuri, only spoke in one syllable, making a dick joke was just funnier. Phichit would be happy to know Mr. Stoic-face did have a sense of humor even if it was phallic in nature.

“It must have been really cold in the 2nd century,” Viktor mumbled as he looked at his screen. Yuuri looked up to see Georgi look over to Viktor’s screen and smile. Viktor turned his computer around and showed it to him. “What do you think Yuuri?” He asked.

Yuuri looked at the image and rose an eyebrow. “I don’t have much opinion on artist interpretations,” He replied, hoping that would make them drop the subject. The last thing on his mind was talking about body parts. 

“Interpretation?” Viktor asked with a crooked eyebrow, “Or could you be insinuating that the artist is using personal reference as their inspiration?” Viktor asked laughing. Yuuri looked over at Viktor who had a grin on his face, he didn’t even both replying to that. He stayed quiet, but Georgi didn’t.

“On that basis, how big would you make it?” Georgi asked his friend. Viktor gave him a smirk and wiggled his eyebrows. Yuuri shook his head and kept his eyes on his screen trying to keep his cool. But he could already feel his face getting red and his palms sweaty.

“How about you Yuuri?” Georgi asked in a teasing tone. Yuuri didn’t even bother to look up but he did roll his eyes. The three burst out into laughter and Yuuri’s face was more definitely red. He was hating being there now. 

“Come on Yuuri,” Georgi teased. Yuuri refused to look up. He thought Chris was the perverted one, now it turned out their whole group was. “Okay, you tell me to stop when we get to the size,” He continued the other two laughed.

“Georgi just stop,” Yuuri said rubbing his face.

“Wow, really Yuuri?” Georgi asked. Yuuri looked up to see what he mean and saw him holding his hands apart.

“Georgi, you know that is not what I meant,” Yuuri exclaimed, now he was positive his face was red. He heard Viktor laughing along with Seung Gil, Yuuri only sent them a glare and went back to work. He couldn’t let them get to him or he would just fuel their teasing.

“Okay, okay,” Georgi said and dropped his hands.

“Why do you care so much for Yuuri’s size Georgi, I though you have a girlfriend,” Seung Gil teased. Viktor groaned and went back to work himself. That spiked Yuuri’s interest, so he turned to Georgi.

“You have a girlfriend?” Yuuri asked if only to spite Viktor who he saw shaking his head at him from the corner of his eye.

“Yes, her name is Anya and she’s a supermodel,” Georgi told him with a love stuck tone.

“Really?” Yuuri asked. Now he saw Seung Gil shaking his head as well, clearly, the didn’t want to hear about this Anya and Yuuri had been teased enough. “Do you have eviden—I mean a picture?” he asked correcting himself. Everyone but Georgi laughed.

“Yes, I do,” Georgi took out his phone and started to scroll until he found one he liked and shoved the phone into Yuuri’s hands. Yuuri grabbed the phone and took a look. The picture was clearly of them two at a photo studio standing with another man who Yuuri thought might be another model since he was dressed almost similar to Georgi’s Anya. The girl in question was very pretty, black hair and red lips.

“She’s pretty,” Yuuri told him with a nod.

“No, she is beautiful, an angel that fell from the sky,” Georgi started and continued with praises that Yuuri had never heard before. That Anya was very lucky to have such a devoted boyfriend, it almost made Yuuri feel envious of being single…. Only slightly. The other boys didn’t seem to stand the endless compliments because they looked almost fed up. “Who’s the other guy?” He asked leaning forward and taking another look at the picture.

“That is Finnick, he works with Anya a lot. They almost always do photoshoots together,” Georgi told him and switched the picture. This time it was a picture of Anya and Finnick in swimwear. Yuuri took a deep breath and couldn’t help but stare at the golden abs in front of him. He was a man after all…a single man and he could appreciate a work of art when he saw one.

“Anya looks great huh?’ Georgi asked with a smile. Yuuri could see how in love he was with her it was almost sickening; it was cute.

“Oh yeah, Anya looks great,” Yuuri said still looking at the golden boy next to her. “How tall do you think Finnick is?” Yuuri asked because he couldn’t help it, he liked tall guys.

Georgi looked at him with a surprised look and thought about it. “Well, Anya is about 6 ft and he’s taller than her, I’m not really sure for who much though. Why?”

“No reason,” Yuuri smiled still looking at the picture. It’s been a while since he’s allowed himself to think about men in that way. The last person he fantasized about was sitting right across from him and that had not turned out very well. “I wouldn’t mind doing a researcher paper on that sculpture,” He added because he couldn’t help it.

“Is that your type Yuuri, blonde with abs?” Seung Gil asked jokingly.

“Well I’m a simple guy, he looks like a Greek sculpture, and well it’s not the second century anymore and the days have gotten warmer,” He told Seung Gil with a wink. Seung Gil chuckled along with Georgi who took his phone back and looked at the picture himself.

“So, you are going to base everything on his appearance, what about his personality?” Viktor interjected with a hard voice.

“Well Viktor I was only presented abs, so that is what I’ll judge,” Yuuri told him jokingly. Maybe Leo was right, maybe Yuuri could try to talk to Viktor more. Maybe by making jokes and being lively they could find common ground.

“Well that is very superficial of you,” Viktor told him with no signs of joking. “You shouldn’t judge people based on their looks, especially when you don’t even know them,” He added.

Yuuri sat back in his chair feeling like he was being scorned. Well, that took a turn, and it shouldn’t be surprising to him. “You’re such a hypocrite,” Yuuri couldn’t help but sneer at him. 

“How so, I don’t judge people I don’t know,” He hissed at him. There was a glare in his eyes. Yuuri took a deep breath to keep from yelling at him. It was late probably no one would hear but he didn’t really want to lose his temper in front of Georgi and Seung Gil, they were also kind of cool.

“Yes, you do judge people without knowing them Viktor,” Yuuri mumbled. Viktor looked at him in disbelief. “You know what, it’s not even worth it,” Yuuri said and started to grab his things. He didn’t want to fight again; he didn’t want to hear what he had to say and he didn’t want to be in that room anymore. He had tried, he had tried to extend the olive branch and Viktor was only cutting it down.

“There you go again, running away when you feel threatened. Very usual of you,” Viktor laughed humorlessly. Yuuri stood up and glared at him, there were so many things he wanted to yell at him, but he bit his tongue. Instead, he leaned forward.

“Don’t even try to pretend to know who I am because you don’t. You know nothing about me, and I only know one thing about you. And that is that you’re a judgmental asshole, that I can’t stand,” He let out, it seemed he couldn’t keep his lips sealed. “Put your shit on the document, I’ll edit it later,” Was the last thing he said before walking out the door.

“Viktor what the hell,” He heard Georgi ask.

“I know, what is up with him?” Viktor asked. Yuuri rolled his eyes and started towards the stairs.

“No Viktor, what the hell is up with you?” Seung Gil asked this time.

Yuuri half ran up the steps and only stopped to take a breath when he was out the door. Fuck him, fuck him! Yuuri yelled in his head. He was halfway down the steps when he saw Phichit walking with a pizza box in hand.

“Hey, don’t tell me it’s over?” Phichit asked dejectedly.

“Yes, it’s over, I don’t want to see him ever in my entire life,” Yuuri exclaimed and started towards the dorms. He heard footsteps behind him and Phichit grabbed his arm pulling him back.

“What happened?” He asked with a concerned look. Yuuri looked ahead and rubbed his face with his hands. He was angry yet he felt like he was going to cry, and that made him feel worst. “Hey, it’s okay,” Phichit said and leaned his head on his shoulder.

“I hate him, who the hell does he think he is to say those things to me?” Yuuri said feeling his eyes start to water and his nose start to burn a bit. “And then he acts like he’s not to blame.” Phichit rubbed his shoulder and pulled him into a side hug.

“Who cares, let go see if Guang Hong and Otabek want to share this pizza,” Phichit said and pulled him towards the dorms.

The whole walk there he tried to calm himself down. There were not many people out, it was not super late, but it was a bit dark. The streetlights were on but only served to cast weird shadows where there was no light. It was perfect, that way no one would see him cry. Guang Hong and Otabek were happy to share the pizza with them. They sat on the floor and Yuuri could see them all throw him curious looks.

“He called me superficial because I commented how hot a guy was,” Yuuri told them. His three friends looked at each other confused. Yuuri would be lying if he also didn’t feel a little confused too. He thought everything was going well, they were laughing and having a good time, sure they were teasing him, but he knew it was all for laughs. Viktor had been laughing too, so, what happened?

“There has to be more to that,” Otabek commented. Yuuri shook his head.

“I tried I really did, I thought that we might be making progress. Everything started off well, we agreed on things, we got to work. We even joked we were all laughing and then he says shit like that.”

“Do you think that maybe you could be exaggerating a bit?” Guang Hong asked and then bit his lip. Probably bracing himself for Yuuri’s fury. But there was none, he was tired. Who knew being angry made you lose all your energy.

Yuuri simply sighed. “I wish I was, but that was how things happened. We were just joking around and then he made everything so serious. I’m sure Seung Gil and Georgi knew I was just messing around. It’s like Viktor is only waiting for an opening to say something mean to me.”

“So much for burying the hatchet,” Guang Hong mumbled and took a big bite of his pizza. Yuuri huffed and agreed, Leo was going to be very disappointed. At least he could say he tried and that had to count for something.

“Burying what?” Otabek asked with a frowned.

“Making peace,” Phichit told him and then mouthed ‘Leo’ when Otabek looked just as confused.

“Could it be that he was jealous?” Otabek asked after giving Phichit a weird look. 

“Of what, how much cooler I am than him?” Yuuri joked. Both Phichit and Guang Hong looked at him like a lightbulb just when off. Yuuri rolled his eyes because he was most defiantly not cooler than Viktor.

“No,” Otabek said, all three boys turned to him, “That you were commenting on some guy’s appearance,” He added.

Yuuri looked at him with a confused look and then thought back at the picture of Finnick, it was around that time when Viktor got quiet. And he did mention that he didn’t even know him, did Viktor know Finnick?

“You think…” Yuuri started looking at Otabek who nodded at him. “That Viktor likes the guy in the picture and got mad that I was objectifying him?” He said out loud like he just discovered the mystery to the world. His mind was blown. He thought back at the conversation he heard while he had been hiding under the bed in Viktor’s room. Chris mentioned that Viktor was upset his crush was ignoring him, could that be the model?

“That makes so much sense,” Guang Hong exclaimed. Beside him, Phichit agreed.

“That does,” Yuuri agreed. Shit, if that was the case then why didn’t he just say so? Yuuri thought, why did Viktor have to attack him like that. Perhaps Viktor was like Yuri in that they resorted to anger when they heard something they didn’t like.

“You guys are all idiots,” Otabek said shaking his head.

“Why do you say that?” Phichit asked acting offended by putting his hand on his chest.

“Because it’s clear that Viktor is jealous of Yuuri talking about some other guy, not because Viktor likes that guy, but because Viktor likes Yuuri,” Otabek stated.

The three boys looked at the dark-haired boy and then burst out laughing. The laughter echoed throughout the hall and went on all night and all the way through the weekend and into the start of the next week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe Otabek is on to something....hmmm  
> Well guys that was chapter seven, and I'm starting to realize this is going to be a long slow burn because those two just don't seem to want to just talk. But don't worry they'll get their shit together...eventually.


	8. Seeing Eye to Eye

“We are thinking of doing a spring wedding after all,” Yuuko said though the phone. Yuuri could hear the excitement in her voice. It was later in the afternoon and he had just finished his last class of the day. He and Phichit elected for eating outside for a change, they were alone in the courtyard when his phone had rung. It had been Yuuko calling because apparently Yuuri didn’t know how to use a phone.

“That sounds lovely, what does Takeshi think?” Yuuri asked while he looked out into the grassy area in front of him. It had been a while since the last time he’s spoken to his friends back home. Even longer since he'd seen them, in his memory they were all still so young. The idea that they were getting married sounded a little too surreal to him. To him, they were still the same two kids he spends days at the beach with or skating until they had enough of falling on their ass. There were good days back then, and they almost always included his two friends.

“He says that as long as I show up, he’ll love whatever I pick,” Yuuko told him with a laugh. Yuuri joined her although his laugh was more forced. He was happy for them, of course, he was. They were his good friends; sure, he hasn’t seen them in years but a friendship like theirs does not dissolve just like that. He wanted to be genuine about his own feelings, to truly be happy. But he couldn’t, not when every little thing that happened and what he missed reminded him of how far away he was. The worst part was that Hasetsu didn’t feel the same anymore, and going back, truly going back was no longer in his plans.

“You’ll be done with school soon,” Yuuko started and trailed off letting her question hang in the air.

“Yeah, Phichit and I are apartment hunting now. There are not many places that allow pets around here at a reasonable price,” Yuuri told her. They’ve had this conversation before, it had been in passing and brief. Maybe she didn’t think it held much truth a few months ago as it did now. She didn’t speak for a bit and Yuuri knew she was probably looking for something to say. Something that didn’t sound like she was making him come home…to Hasetsu.

“We…everyone misses you and we are so proud of you, Hiroko mentioned that you will be graduating with honors and that one of your art pieces will be exhibited,” She said trying so hard to sound excited and happy.

“It’s no big deal, they do it every year for the graduating class. It’ll be a short exhibition,” He told her. It would be like any other exhibition he’s ever participated in; the only difference was that this would be his last. That in its self was a thought he’s tried to push to the back of his head, after all, there was not much he could do about their upcoming graduation date.

“I wish I could go and be there for you,” She added with a sincere voice.

“I know,” Yuuri told her. He knew that he knew his whole family wished the same. But life never worked out the way they expected it. The Onsen was getting repairs done and his parents didn’t have enough to make the trip, or the time really. Mari had offered to come but Yuuri knew that it was more of a duty to him then her actually wanting to come. He was not going to force Mari to travel alone all the way to Michigan for her to only stay for a few days. And Yuuko and Takeshi were putting all their resources on their wedding, he couldn’t expect them to make the trip either. Everyone had their own life to live and they would not stop just because he was graduating.

“It still makes me feel bad, I know it’s a very important day for you.” Yuuri smiled because he could hear her pout even though the phone.

“I’m sure Phichit will be live recording the whole thing for his family back in Thailand, I told Mari to watch that,” Yuuri told her. At the sound of his name, Phichit looked up with a questioned look. After all, Yuuri had been talking in Japanese the whole time. He sends his friend a smile that told him he was not saying anything mean about him.

“I just told Yuuko that you will be live streaming the whole graduation event,” Yuuri told his friend.

“Hell yeah, I’m giving you all exclusive behind the scenes footage. Turn in Yuuko, my family is having a huge watch party, you guys should too,” He said louder so Yuuko could hear him. Yuuko laughed and somehow the phone ended up in Phichit’s hand. They talked about her wedding and Phichit started to give her ideas about creative picture poses and backgrounds. It was all very lively and Yuuri forgot all about his own doubts. Yuuko said goodbye to both of them and hung up an hour later.

“Are you really not going to go?” Phichit asked after a long pause. He handed back the phone with a concerned look on his face. 

“I don’t know,” Yuuri replied with a sigh.

“Are you scared that if you go back, you’ll want to stay?” His friends asked. Yuuri shook his head and looked down at the phone on his hands. He’s put more than enough though to his hesitation of going back home. Sure, the first few years the reason he didn’t go was because he didn’t have enough money to make the trip, as the years passed that became more of an excuse. It was all a big excuse really and he could admit that much.

“I’m scared that the Hasetsu I return to won’t be the same,” Yuuri he lied, it was easier to lie than to face the truth. He was afraid that the Hasetsu he returned to would be just the same, that everything he left behind would just be waiting for him to return and haunt him again. “I don’t know if it makes any sense, but I have this image of home from when I left. Sure, there were bad days and I more or less ran away from it by coming here. But it was home nonetheless.” A home that almost destroyed him.

“You’re scared that when you get back it won’t feel like home anymore,” Phichit restated.

Yuuri could only nod. “And if Hasetsu isn’t home anymore, then what is. It’s kind of a terrifying thought, to not know where home might be. To not know where I belong.”

Phichit reached out and grabbed his hand. Yuuri looked up at his best friend. “Home sometimes is two broke college idiots looking for an apartment that will allow dogs and hamsters,” Phichit told him. “I know what you mean, I don’t see myself going back to Thailand to live either. I have so much here already, I don’t see myself going back. It will always hold a very special place in my heart, it will be a piece of me, but not the whole me anymore. And that it okay Yuuri.”

“Plus, us staying here must have been a given when we applied for our visa renewal,” Phichit reminded him.

“You really are my home Phichit,” Yuuri admitted and hugged his best friend.

“And you are mine, now that means that I can also tell you to stop being an idiot. You have to go to Yuuko’s wedding, you honestly cannot be so dense to not realize that they are pushing the date back until next year for you,” Phichit added and have him a light punch on the shoulder.

“Me?” Yuuri asked confused.

“Yeah dumbass, she wants you there. Come on, Hasetsu will always be there, but the people there might not. You need to go back before it really does change too much, and you end up regretting not going back in time.” Phichit told him.

“She always wanted a summer wedding,” Yuuri mumbled to himself. He realized how stupid he was being. His family wanted to see him, they missed him just like he missed them. “Maybe I do only think about myself,” He added. Maybe Viktor was right, maybe he was selfish.

“You do have a tendency to live in your head Yuuri, but that is all right. It’s easily forgiven because you are so cute,” Phichit pinched his cheeks. “Plus, it’s okay to be a little selfish once in a while, you should go back to Hasetsu though, even if it’s only for a week.”

Yuuri looked down at his phone and unlocked it. He was not going to be the reason his friend didn’t get the wedding she wanted. He typed her an honest message and told her he would come if she decided to have a summer wedding like she always wanted. The next message she sends to him was filled with emojis and half incomprehensible words.

“Do you think I should ask one of the guys to volunteer to be the model for class?” Phichit asked changing the subject for Yuuri’s sake. “I think Emil would do it, but I’m not sure if he’ll be able to sit still for so long,” He added.

“Maybe JJ would do it, he loves when people look at him,” Yuuri said looking up from his phone. Their sketching class needed a model for Thursday and the class had been tasked to find a suitable candidate. JJ fits the bill in Yuuri’s opinion. So far, things were going great. But while Monday was slow, he dreaded Tuesday.

When he woke up the next day, he knew it was going to be a long day when his hair did the thing where it decided to be an untamable mess. He took one of Phichit’s beanies and pulled it over his mess of hair when he realized there was nothing he could do about it. To make matters worse, he was out of coffee and his phone had not been charging all night. He left early to go to the cafeteria and get coffee, and to arrive early for class to get a seat close to a plug-in so he could charge his dead phone. When he had a steaming hot coffee cup in hand, he made his way towards Professor Baranovskay’s class. There were only a few people in class when he got there and there was already someone sitting next to the only plugin. He mentally groaned but still approached them, all it took was a dead phone to get him to talk to someone else.

“Hey, are you using the plug. My phone is dead,” Yuuri said with a half-smile and showing her the dead phone.

“Oh no, you can use it,” the girl stood up and allowed him to sit on the seat. “Do you mind if I sit next to you, I need to be close to see the board,” she added.

“Oh of course, you were here first,” Yuuri told her and moved his backpack to make more room for her. She sat down and Yuuri realized that unknowingly he dealt with his first problem, which was sitting next to Viktor today. A few minutes later from the corner of his eye he saw Viktor walking in with Seung Gil and Georgi, they looked his way, but he pretended to be looking through his notes.

“Did I take Viktor’s spot next to you?” The girl next to him whispered.

“Nope, you actually saved me from having to share a table with him,” Yuuri whispered back. He didn’t actually think the occasion would repeat itself, after all, why would Viktor want to sit next to him again. But taking away any opening for it to happen made Yuuri feel less stressed about the situation.

“Really, why did you sit next to him last time?” She asked in an even lower voice.

“He sat next to me,” Yuuri corrected her.

“Do you really not like him?” She asked and then moved closer to him, “I think you are the only person who doesn’t.” She whispered. He wanted to tell her that was not true, but he didn’t want to start any rumors about Viktor and his brother not getting along. He also didn’t want to explain how he knew that in the first place. It was best not to fuel the gossip around school.

“He’s the one who doesn’t like me,” Yuuri corrected again with a sigh.

“How can that be possible, you’re the nicest guy I know, and the cutest” She added with a wink. Yuuri felt his ears go red.

“Hmm, thanks,” Yuuri mumbled, “But I’m really not, just ask Viktor, I guess.” 

The two girls sitting in front of them looked back with smirks. “Should we ask him about you being the nicest person or the cutest?” One of them asked with a smirk on her face.

“Are you two eavesdropping on my conversation?” Yuuri asked jokingly. And didn’t bother to reply to her question, the answer was probably both. The two girls giggled and shook their head innocently. Yuuri chuckled but thought it weird so many people wanted to know about his non-existent relationship with Viktor. 

“What are you all laughing about?” Professor Baranovskay asked as she walked in. Yuuri chuckled because that was her way of saying they were talking too loudly. He watched as his teacher walked over to her desk and placed her bag on the table. 

“We were just commenting on how ridiculously short our reading for today was,” Yuuri replied with a smile.

Professor Baranovskaya rose an eyebrow, “Well then you will be happy to know that this week’s readings are longer,” She told him. He heard the class groan and Professor Baranovskaya smirked like she was pleased to hear that. Class went without a hitch, they did short discussions regarding the reading which Yuuri thrived in because of his extensive note-taking, and even helped the girl next to him whose name he learned was Monica and was also in his sketching class. But it was in the last ten minutes of class it all of Yuuri’s luck turned when she gave them time to talk to within their groups. Everyone dispersed and Yuuri was refused to move because his phone was still charging.

“Why did you sit all the way over here?” Georgi asked as he pulled out the chair next to him and the other two took the chairs in front of him.

“I forgot to charge my phone last night and I woke up with a dead phone,” Yuuri told him showing him his phone still charging. He tried not to look in Viktor’s direction not knowing if Viktor was still angry with him. He hadn’t seen him all weekend, but he did think about him a lot. He blamed his friends for that because they said things that left him with a lot to think about. 

“So that is why you didn’t respond to my message,” Georgi said. 

“You messaged me?” Yuuri frowned and grabbed his phone to turned it on. It was almost fully charged, and he waited until the logo appeared before looking up to his group mates.

“Yeah, we saw you at the cafeteria getting coffee. I texted you to save us a seat,” Georgi continued. He didn’t sound mad so Yuuri was relieved because he and Viktor may have his differences but Georgi and Seung Gil were not that bad. 

“Oh, sorry,” Yuuri apologized, Georgi shook his head letting him know that it was alright. He looked back down at his phone as it turned on. Suddenly he was flooding with message notifications.

“You’re a popular one,” Seung Gil commented when he heard the phone going off with each new message.

“Oh yeah right. they are all Phichit actually. He has this habit of making each word in a sentence a different message,” Yuuri told him shaking his head. “It’s slightly annoying,” He added and read through them. He couldn’t help roll his eyes at a few of them, it was nothing he hasn’t heard before and that made it all the more annoying.

“What is so important?” Seung Gil asked casually like he didn’t really care. Yuuri bit his lip to keep from smiling too wide. In the tread, Phichit was going on about how hot Seung Gil looked that morning and then continued to ask if Yuuri was even reading the messages. Yuuri chuckled lightly and put his phone down in case Georgi sneaked a look at what his overly dramatic best friend was saying. He didn’t want to embarrass his friend…that much.

“Well,” Yuuri hesitated for effect and waved them over so they could come closer. They all leaned forward, even Viktor who had been sitting back throughout the whole conversation just listening. “He kind of really likes this…person right, but he doesn’t know how to tell them,” Yuuri told them.

“Really, who is it?” Georgi asked with a smirk, almost like he knew who it was.

“None of your business,” Yuuri said without a beat and Georgi pulled back surprised but kept his smile. “But he needs a little help. So how would you tell someone you like them?’ Yuuri asked looking at Seung Gil. He looked at him like a deer caught in headlights, Yuuri almost laughed.

“Just tell them,” Seung Gil said with a shrug after a while. Yuuri rose an eyebrow and waited for him to clarify what he meant by that, but a few seconds passed and he didn’t speak again. 

“Just tell them, like, just go up to them and say you like them?” Yuuri asked for clarification. Seung Gil nodded.

“That’s rich,” Yuuri mumbled shaking his head.

“What?” Seung Gil asked with a frown.

“I said that’s a reach, I don’t think he can be so bold. When you like someone it’s hard to just say your feelings straight on like that,” He told him, “You have a girlfriend, how did you tell her you liked her?” Yuuri asked turning his attention to Georgi. He had experience maybe he could spread his knowledge with the clueless boy in front of them.

“I sang her a song and told her how much I loved her,” Georgi told him with a smile. Yuuri waited for him to say he was only joking but that never came. So maybe he would not be so much help.

“Oh…I’m sure she loved that,” Yuuri said, he heard Viktor snickered. Yuuri looked up at him, he had a small smile on his face.

“She did,” Georgi told him his smile unchanged. Yuuri was tempted to ask if he was serious but held his tongue, instead, he just nodded. “How about you, how would you ask someone you like out?” Georgi asked.

Yuuri was about to say he wouldn’t, but he didn’t want them to think he was a loser. He never actually thought about it, his crushes never became more than just that. And sure, he wanted to have a relationship someday he never went as far as thinking of ways to ask someone out. He always hoped that if the feelings were mutual the other person would be braver and take the first step. Therefore he made peace with being single a long time ago. 

“I don’t know either,” Yuuri shrugged. “I guess I would have to make sure they liked me back first,” He added. It was important to know if you even had a chance to start with, no point in breaking your own heart by going after someone you had no chance with. Which was one of the main reasons his crushes never moved on from that point. What were the chances of someone he liked liking him back?

“How would you get someone to like you back?” Viktor asked only now speaking up. Yuuri turned to look at him surprised. He didn’t expect Viktor to talk to him, and much less for it to no be some kind of insult again.

“By not being a dick to them,” Yuuri wanted to say but he didn’t. Instead, he thought about the question. Nothing came to mind; he was shit at getting people to like him. So instead he thought about how he came to like others, that was easier to answer.

“I would make sure he sees me,” Yuuri said with a smile. “Not to sound shallow, but I think that attraction is first achieved through sight. The more they notice you the more likely they are to think about you. Then of course being their friend always works, friends to lovers is always the easier route,” Yuuri told him. “Being in their life, being a part of it makes it easy to reach affection. At least that is how it is to me,” he continued. “It also helps if they are attractive,” He added just to spite him.

He didn’t hear another word from Viktor, they did talk about their project thought. They had been good at sending Yuuri everything he needed to piece together their paper. He promised them that they would have the finished product before the due date so they could look over it and see if they liked it or if they wanted to change something. When their time was up, he gathered his things and walked out of the classroom with the three boys behind him.

“Hey, are you heading towards the cafeteria?” Georgi asked.

“Yeah, but I have to do something before, I’ll see you guys Thursday,” Yuuri waved at them and walked in the direction of the math building. He didn’t actually have to talk to Ketty, but he also didn’t want to walk with them toward the cafeteria. He met with Ketty as she was locking up her office. She looked up at him surprised.

“Did we have a meeting scheduled?” She asked confused.

“No, I used you as an excuse to get away from Viktor,” Yuuri admitted and shrugged his shoulders. Ketty chuckled and signaled him to follow her.

“How was Friday?” She asked with a smile. They exited the building and were greeted with a gash of wind that made her papers go flying everywhere. “Aw shit!” She exclaimed. Yuuri moved quickly to grab as many as he could and tried not to laugh as she stomped on the few that were getting away.

“It went awful, we ended up yelling at each other again,” Yuuri admitted as he handed her the papers he had grabbed and then bend down to get the ones next to her leg.

“Thanks,” She said and secured them in her hands, “What was the fight about this time?” She asked.

“Hot models and how shallow I was being for commenting on how attractive they looked,” Yuuri replied. Ketty looked at him as if waiting to know if he was telling the truth. He was and that made her burst out laughing.

“Are you serious, man he has it bad,” She mumbled the last part, but Yuuri heard it.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Yuuri asked in a defensive tone. He didn’t even know why he felt the need to feel defensive. Maybe because her tone reminded him of Otabek and his comment on Friday.

Ketty shook her head at him, “You are helpless Yuuri, but maybe one day you’ll catch on. Hopefully, it’s not too late by then,” She told him.

“Why are you talking in such a cryptic way, just say it,” Yuuri sighed.

“Viktor likes you sweetheart, and the minute you realize that it everything will make so much sense,” Ketty said.

“I don’t understand why everyone thinks Viktor likes me, the guy literally picks on me for no reason.” He didn’t need those kinds of thoughts in his head, he needed people to stop making him make scenarios in his head that was never going to happen. He didn’t want to think that Viktor may like him because that would just hurt when he realized it was not true. He didn’t want Viktor to be someone significant in his life, he didn’t want to think about Viktor once he graduated. But maybe it was a little too late for that now.

“And you like him back,” Ketty interjected. “Look, I’m just trying to be helpful, but if you are so sure that it is not true, then I won’t bring it up again,” She added with a smile. They walked in silence, it wasn’t awkward, it was more like a silence of reflection. They made it into the cafeteria before Ketty spoke up again.

“Is that Phichit’s hat?” Ketty asked as she tilted her head and looked at him up and down.

“Bad hair day, but if anyone asks it a fashion choice,” Yuuri told her.

“It looks good on you,” She told him as she looked up at him. “You should try new things more often,” She added.

Yuuri nodded and looked before them and smiled. “Okay,” Yuuri told her. Ketty looked at him with a surprised look. “Instead of the short ribs today, I’ll get the pasta,” Yuuri joked. Ketty send him a dry look. Yuuri laughed at her expression. They discussed Yuri while they waited in line, he might as well do the work he was getting paid to do. Ketty informed him of the homework that they had assigned and projects coming up. It was mostly a refresher of things she had already told him.

“Look, I honestly think you should try talking to Viktor. No fighting, no miscommunication, just a plain old talk about your feelings,” Ketty told him before they split because once more, she refused to be anywhere near Phichit for the time being.

“What feelings?” Yuuri mumbled. Ketty rolled her eyes and then bid him goodbye with a wave. Yuuri found his friends in their usual seats. Phichit, JJ, Leo, and Sara sat by the windows. He sat down as they all gave him weird looks.

“Is that my hat?” Phichit asked. “It looks good on you,” He added with a surprised frown.

“Thanks,” Yuuri mumbled and try to ignore Viktor who sat a table away. They were close enough to be in earshot and he heard Chris saying they should have another party.

“So, what were you and Ketty talking about?” JJ asked with a teasing smirk on his face. “Do you like her?” JJ wiggled his eyes at him. 

“Ketty is my friend,” Yuuri told him with a deadpan expression and took his seat next to him.

“This is the third time you and Ketty have walked together into this cafeteria,” He pointed out.

“We meet on our way here, our paths intersect and if we are both walking in the same direction it seems weird not to say something,” Yuuri lied. Yeah, he lied, mostly because he wanted the conversation to end and because he didn’t want to explain his tutoring situation. Especially not when Viktor was in hearing range. He also wanted to end any farther interrogation.

“Oh,” They all said in unison and sat back in their seats disappointed. Yuuri rose an eyebrow at his friends.

“You need a boyfriend or a girlfriend,” Sara stated when she caught his expression. “Who do you like?” She asked leaning forward with a wide smile that made Yuuri sit back in his seat. 

“Yeah Yuuri what’s your type?” Leo asked. From the corner of his eye, Yuuri saw Georgi lean back in his chair. His back was to him, but he didn’t have to be genius to know they were listening. Especially since Chris had stopped talking the minute Phichit started talking.

“Tall, blond, and with abs,” Yuuri joked and saw Georgi shake and sit back up in his chair catching on to Yuuri’s comment, he could hear him laughing too. In front of him, however, the joke was not received as such.

“Oh, I was not expecting you to actually answer,” Sara said surprised. Yuuri chuckled and started to eat his food. It was the short ribs because he was going to give change a chance, but not today. 

“We're going to the movies tonight, Isabella wants to watch that new chick flick that is coming out and if I have to suffer through it, I won’t do it alone,” JJ told them changing the subject.

“JJ, we all know you are just as excited to watch it,” Phichit teased. Sara and Leo joined the teasing and they had JJ going bright red.

“I can’t I have…” Yuuri started but Phichit groaned.

“You have class,” Phichit said as he remembered, “I really hate your schedule this term Yuuri,” He added and threw Viktor’s table a side glare.

He didn’t have class, but he was not going to correct him, not when Viktor was within hearing distance. “What time, I might make it?” He asked. Because he really didn’t want to miss out on hanging out with his friends, especially if it was doing something like going to the movies. 

“We are going to the 5:30 showing,” JJ replied while he looked through his phone. From where he was sitting, Yuuri could see JJ scrolling down the movie theater’s schedule. If he cut today's lesson short, he might be able to make it, they would be going to the theater nearby and that was only a five-minute walk from the school’s gate.

“I’ll try to make it, we can meet there,” He told them. Sara cheered and took her phone out to tell the others.

“I was telling JJ about him being our model for class, but he has a class during that time,” Phichit said with a disappointed expression.

“Aw really, then I have no idea who could do it. The rest of you cannot sit still for more than five seconds,” Yuuri teased, and to make his point Leo stopped mid wiggle in his seat. They laughed and continued with their food.

“Sorry, but this god needs to graduate too,” JJ told them while pointing at himself. They ate mostly in peace, there were a few moments where Leo and Phichit argued about the best movies coming out and which ones were going to be the best. JJ was not much support to any of them since his genre of movies was very different. Sara was texting most of the time and didn’t add much to the conversation. The smile and light blush on her cheeks let Yuuri know that she was not texting her brother. When they were done with lunch, Phichit and Yuuri walked back to their room.

Yuuri spent most of his time putting together the paper for Professor Baranovskaya ’s class. Most of it was very easily done and being upperclassmen, his group didn’t have many errors in their writing. He was not by far the best at writing, so he will probably have Leo or JJ take a look at it before submitting it. They were after all the go-to editors of the group as well as the inspiration advisors. They write their own music; therefore, they had taken multiple writing and poetry classes to facilitate their art.

“So, we’ll see you at the movies,” Phichit told him as Yuuri started to get ready to leave later that day.

“Yeah,” Yuuri told him. He packed his laptop and his sketching pad, he figured he could get started on some assignment while at Yuri’s. They only had to go through homework and talk about his math project. Which was just a big packet full of challenging math puzzles they had to solve; it was part of their first project. The walk towards Yuri’s house was just the same, he took the long way and greeted Makkachin at the gate when he arrived. It was Mr. Feltsman who answered the door this time, which was surprising to Yuuri.

“Yuuri, you’re here,” He said with a sigh of relief. “Yura locked himself in his room,” He continued.

“Why, did something happen?” Yuuri asked with concern. Sure, he’s only known Yuri briefly, but he’s already gotten invested in his life. Maybe because he was curious to know what kind of person hid behind that angry exterior.

“ We received a call from Moscow, Yuri’s grandfather fell in his home and was rushed to the hospital. It was nothing serious, he only hit his head and has a minor concussion. He should be making a quick recovery, but Yuri didn’t take the news too well,” Mr. Feltsman told him.

Yuuri frowned and looked around. He knew that Yuri took very seriously anything related to his grandfather. “Do you think I could try to talk to him?” He asked.

Mr. Feltsman moved aside and gestured for him to go in. “Yura’s room is the last door on the right,” he told him. Yuuri nodded and walked towards the stairs, Makkachin coming along. He was seeing the rest of the house for the first time. It had an old Victorian style, with old wallpaper and dark wooden floors. The hall was wide and had decorative paintings up, all very generic, of flowers and landscapes. There were also four doors on that hall, two on either side and a second stare case as the end of the hall on the opposite wall from Yuri’s room. He knocked twice and received no answer.

“I know you’re in there unless you jumped out a window or something,” Yuuri said though the door. A few seconds later the door opened, and a blond boy appeared. Yuri’s hair was a bird’s nest on top of his head, his eyes were visibly red, and he held an angry sneer on his face.

“What do you want?” He asked it was a harsh hard tone, similar to the one he had used on him the first time they had met. Yuuri was not surprised anymore, be had expected it after all the anger was only a cover to his real feelings.

“Your dad told me what happened,” Yuuri said. “Now more than ever you can’t afford to fall behind, we need to get you to Russia this summer,” He added.

“I told Yakov to let me go see my grandpa, but he refused. He said I had to stay and finish the semester,” Yuri told angrily. “My grandpa needs me,” He added.

For that belief second the anger was lost and replaced by desperation. He recognized the homesickness again, and he could relate. When he was a freshman all he wanted was to go back home. it was tough, not to be there when something happened, whether it was good or bad. 

“Mr. Feltsman said that your grandpa is expected to make a quick and full recovery, that means it was not that bad,” Yuuri told him.

“I should still be there for him, it’s not fair. I’m not a child anymore I can do as I wish, so why is he keeping me from going?” Yuri exclaimed. It was directed at his father and not at Yuuri, but Yuuri felt the blow, nonetheless.

“Then stop acting like a child Yura,” His father said, he walked up to the door that was now open. “I already told you that if you go you will be losing the semester,” He added. “Nikolai is a strong man and very healthy for his age, a fall is not going to cause any permanent damage. He will be fine in a few days, and everything will go back to normal,” Mr. Feltsman told him. 

He seemed sure of it, and Yuuri could find no lie in his words. Yuri talked a bit about his grandfather, mostly that he had been too poor to take care of him and had decided to give him up to a family that could give him the life he deserved. While it was a very selfless thing to do, Yuri saw it more as a selfish decision. He cared for his grandfather deeply, but also resented the fact he had given him up. Mr. Feltsman had been the one to reunite them a few years later after the adoption, it had calmed Yuri’s anger, according to Mr. Feltsman.

Even with all the years that passed with Yuri living with both Mr. Feltsman and Viktor, Yuri only ever saw them as temporary and sought out the company of his grandfather regularly. Being near him was not easy, he lived in Moscow, while Yuri moved to St. Petersburg with his new family. But it was doable until Mr. Feltsman relocated to the United States. New York had been their first stop and there the start of Yuri’s true teenage angst. For most of their education, Yuuri learned, that Viktor and Yuri had been homeschooled. It was not until they both entered college that they went to a real school with other students.

Yuuri had to admit that it answered a lot of things about both Viktor and Yuri. Especially with Yuri who seemed very sheltered and had a hard time making friends. And also, why he was yet to shed his occasional childish behavior. He also saw that in Viktor, but with him it was easily overlooked because of the way he acted around other people. His cheerful and charismatic personality concealed most of the childishness behind his own actions. Despite the angry personality he presented, Yuri had a very sensitive and kind heart. One that worried for the safety of those he cared about. Yuuri understood how hard it must be for him at the moment to understand what was happening. To him, this was an emergency, one that urged him to drop everything and run home.

“Yuri, I know you don’t believe it, but Mr. Feltsman is right. If you go to Russia, it’s only going to make you lose the rest of the term, your grandfather will recover. Had it been worst I’m sure Mr. Feltsman would have not hesitated to let you go,” Yuuri told him. Yuri looked at him with a frown as he started talking, that frown changed by the end. Instead, he looked up to his father with a questioned look.

“He’s right Yura, had Nikolai been in real danger I would have bought you the first flight over. I’m only looking out for you, I really hope you can understand that” Mr. Feltsman affirmed.

Yuri stayed quiet for a while before looking up at his father. “Really, you would have let me go if he’d been seriously hurt?” Yuri asked.

“Of course, Yura, He’s your family. I will never keep you from him, all I want is what’s best for you.” Mr. Feltman walked closer and pulled Yuri into a hug. Yuri didn’t struggle and hugged him back. Yuuri himself almost felt like he was intruding in their family moment. He pressed himself to the open door and looked at them with a smile. The intimidating exterior of Mr. Feltman changed, and he saw him smile. It was rare and the smile almost seemed to change the man’s face. The hard lines of time passed soften and he looked like just a regular dad.

They moved back downstairs to start their study session and Mr. Feltsman moved to his office to get some work done. Yuuri had agreed to let Yuri call his grandfather quickly to get an update on his condition. And Yuuri busied himself setting out their materials, it was almost five when Yuuri decided to shoot his friends a text telling them he was not going to make it to the movies. Especially since Mr. Feltsman had invited him to dinner again and the look that Yuri gave him didn’t allow him to decline.

The call had been short and Yuuri understood none of it. Yuri spoke in rapid Russian at times it sounded like he was angry because of how he yelled, but his expression was that of happiness. Yuri would glance his way a few times as he spoke and other times, he looked out the window. When he was done, he returned to sit down in his usual seat beside Yuuri.

“Everything alright?” Yuuri asked. 

“Yeah, he said he feels fine. That everyone just made a big deal because he’s old,” Yuri told him. “I also told him I’m going to be attempting to his pirozhki with you, he got very excited about it for some reason. I also told him about you,” He added.

“Me, what about me?” Yuuri asked surprised.

“I told him you are helping me so I can go see him this summer, and that your name is also Yuri, but you’re Japanese. He said he likes you and wants to meet you,” Yuri told him with an eye roll. Yuuri laughed and opened the book in front of him.

“Well I’m honored your grandfather likes me,” Yuuri told him, “Now how about we start studying, so I can keep my word and get you to Russia.” The homework was easy, and Yuri was able to get started on his math project. The puzzles had always been one of Yuuri’s least favorite part of that class, they were hard and tricky. Yuri was starting to become aggravated and Yuuri could not blame him.

“Professor Lambert really is a sadist,” Yuuri commented as he saw the blond boy finish the last puzzle on the third page of the pack. “Let’s stop right there, you still have time to get it done and there is always next time.”

“Thank god, I was about to chuck this out the window,” Yuri exclaimed. And dramatically flipped the pages to the front page and chucked it to the side. Yuuri chuckled and shook his head. Yuuri’s phone vibrated a few times on the table and Yuuri loved over to see Phichit’s name on the text. The texts were coming in fast.

**Phichit:** Good thing you didn’t come!

**Phichit:** You’ll never guess who’s here!!!!

**Phichit:** Viktor!!!

**Phichit:** What the hell is he even doing here????

The next text is a picture of the inside of the theater, the camera caught the side profile of Chris and the back of Viktor’s head as they sat a few rows down from where Phichit was sitting. Yuuri titled his head in confusion, that had to be a coincidence, right?

“Is that Viktor?” Yuri asked. Yuuri turned to look at the boy who was looking over his shoulder.

“Hmm, my friends are at the movies. I told them I would go, but I canceled last minute and now I’m glad I did,” Yuuri told him.

“You had plans tonight?” Yuri asked surprised. “Did I ruin them for you?”

“Clearly not, if anything I have you to thank. I would have not enjoyed the movie if I had to sit behind him,” Yuuri reassured him. “Plus, I get free food now,” He added. On cue, they heard Mr. Feltsman calling them to dinner. Yuuri started to pack his bag and stack up the math books for Yuri.

“Would...” Yuri started but trailed off. Yuuri turned to him and waited for him to finish. “Could we exchange numbers?” He asked.

“Oh, I just realized we haven’t done that. It should have happened the first day, sorry,” Yuuri said and quickly took out his phone and pulled up the contact page then handed it to Yuri. “Why were you hesitant to ask me for my number?” He added.

The blond boy took the phone and then looked up at Yuuri. There was a pause of hesitation again before he spoke again. “I didn’t think you would want to give it to me,” He admitted. 

Yuuri rose an eyebrow and gave him a confused look. “Why not?”

“I mean, it’s not like we're friends or anything,” Yuri said taking a defensive tone.

“We’re not?” Yuuri asked taken back, “I thought we were, was I wrong?” He added. Yuri looked up at him shaking his head, his eyes shined bright as he looked up at him with a small smile.

“Then we are friends,” Yuuri concluded and gave him a smile back.

Yuuri could see the other Yuri had trouble making friends, which he found hard to believe. Sure, he might come out as a little intimidating but once all that was stripped away, there was a really cool guy underneath it all. He was not like Phichit, in that he was not wild and outgoing, but he was also not like himself, shy and hesitant either. He was most definitely nothing like Viktor and because of that, it was too easy to be his friend.

Dinner was just like last time, they sat at the table and passed around the food. It was a different Russian dish that Yuuri found delicious, he was still surprised at how well Mr. Feltsman cooked. He did raise two boys, but it was not uncommon to have someone else do the cooking.

“Do you like it?” Mr. Feltsman asked looking at him. The dish was a soup with vegetables and meat that made Yuuri feel warm inside. He could only nod.

“It’s Solyanka soup,” He told Yuuri.

“It’s probably my new favorite dish,” Yuuri told him with a smile, “After my mom’s Katsudon that is,” he added quickly.

Mr. Feltsman chuckled, “It’s also Vitya’s favorite.” Yuuri’s smile disappears and he heard Yuri chuckled from the other side of the table. Yuuri sends his new friend a glare. 

“It’s a hangover cure, that’s why Viktor likes it. He’s a drunk,” Yuri told him. There was a hint of joking in his voice that let Yuuri know that it was probably stretch on the truth. Yuuri had never actually seen Viktor drink, much less dunk. 

“Yura, Viktor is not a drunk,” Mr. Feltsman said turning back to Yuuri. “Viktor like any Russian likes to drink, but he is not an alcoholic. Don’t spread rumors,” He added while looking back to his son. Yuri only rolled his eyes and continued to eat his food.

“Should we call Vitya, so he can eat with us?” Mr. Feltsman asked out of nowhere and Yuuri felt his whole body tense up.

“He’s busy at the movies with his friends,” Yuri saved the day once more.

“How do you know that?” Mr. Feltsman asked eyes narrowed as if he didn’t believe him.

“Because he’s stalking Yuuri, but his plan didn’t work, because Yuuri is here,” He said. Both Yuuri and Mr. Feltsman looked at Yuri with a confused look.

“Didn’t you say you were going to the movies today but ended not going at the last minute?” Yuri asked him. Yuuri nodded and gave Mr. Feltsman a side glanced, he looked interested in what Yuri had to say. “So clearly he found you were going to be there and then went with his friends to the same movie you just happened to plan to go to. He’s such a stalker,” Yuri added shaking his head.

“Why would he do that, he probably just happened to go to the same movie. It premieres tonight I think,” Yuuri said trying to make it sound like it was no big deal. It was not a big deal, he could go to the same places Yuuri planned to go to. Yuuri couldn’t control what he did or the places he wanted to go to.

“Viktor doesn’t go to movies, he had a reason and his reason is not even there,” Yuri laughed.

“Why would Vitya care if Yuuri was there or not?” Mr. Feltsman asked looking between them both. Yuuri looked over at the blond in front of him asking himself the same question.

“Isn’t it clear, Viktor is planning something, maybe he just went to make you uncomfortable,” Yuri told them and then looked at Yuuri with a sympathetic look.

“Does my son make you uncomfortable, did he do something to you?” Mr. Feltaman asked Yuuri with a concerned frown.

“No, I—I mean…” Yuuri didn’t know what to say, on one hand he didn’t want to tattle on Viktor to his father and on the other hand he didn’t have room to lie, not with Yuri right in front of him. “We don’t always see eye to eye, and we end up yelling at each other if we spend too much time together, that’s all,” He admitted.

“What causes the arguments?” Mr. Feltaman questioned. He put his spoon down and turn his attention to him. The spotlight was not on Yuuri and he could feel the heat. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing, but he also didn’t want to lie. Not when Yuri would just out him right way in front of Mr. Feltsman.

“I don’t know, maybe I just say the wrong thing at the wrong time and Viktor get angry about it. I think he just doesn’t understand…me, if that makes any since. He says mean things and that is why I don’t want to be near him,” Yuuri confessed. He looked down at his bowl of soup.

“Could it also be that you don’t understand my son either?” Mr. Feltsman inquired. Yuuri thought for a moment, and he came to the conclusion that he didn’t understand Viktor at all, not that he tried either.

“I think so, we just don’t put enough effort to understand each other,” He could admit that with no hesitation.

It was true, and he was not the first person to say it either. Leo and Ketty have been telling him to just talk to him but something held him back from doing so. It could be that he was scared to find out what he had done wrong or maybe because he was getting used to it. Dr. Bin had said it before, Yuuri craved familiarity and what Viktor was doing was so familiar to him.

“So why don’t you try?” Yuuri looked at Mr. Feltsman, he didn’t look mad at the fact Yuuri didn’t like his son. He only looked curious. Yuuri was glad that he didn’t feel insulted by it, the last thing he wanted was to be hated by Viktor’s father too.

“I don’t think I’m…in the right mind space to try and decipher who Viktor is in the moment. It will take a lot and I…” He trailed off. His mind went back to the pills hidden in his drawer. Mr. Feltman looked like he caught on to what he was trying to say and nodded. Yuri however, did not.

“What does that mean?” He asked.

“Yura,” Mr. Feltman hissed and then changed the subject by bringing back up their idea of making Pirozhki and Katsudon. By the time they finished eating all talks of Viktor were gone and they only talked about sights in Russia and other Russian dishes. He did ask for the recipe for Solyanka soup and Mr. Feltsman promised to have Yuri send him a text with the list of ingredients and instructions. Maybe when he and Phichit had their new place he could butcher the recipe.

“Thank you,” Mr. Feltsman told him as he walked him to the door. Yuuri looked at him in surprise and confusion. “For what you said to Yura, I realized that maybe I was being selfish too,” He admitted.

“You’re trying your best, and Yuri is not necessary the easiest to deal with. I was the same way, different reasons, but all the same. I think what he needs is to know that you have his back. Being homeschooled deprived him of many social interactions,” Yuuri told him. “College is also not the easiest place either, but he has you and Viktor. However, I don’t know if he knows that.”

Mr. Feltsman nodded and sighed. “Thank you for being his friend, he needs more of those,” He continued.

“I like Yuri, and if he wants, he can always join me and my group. They are a little weird at times, but I’m sure he’ll fit right in.” He send him a smile. The thought of having Yuri hanging out with his group made him chuckle. It would be a quite a day when it did happen and part of him couldn’t wait to see it. Yuri returned with Makkachin so Yuuri could say goodbye to them. Then he was out the door with a smile on his face and a full stomach. He looked back as he walked down the hill and saw Yuri and Mr. Feltsman watching him leave. He concluded that he didn’t totally hate how this semester ended up being. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone sorry for the late update. I've been trying to get ahead in this fic and when I finished this chapter I realized it was super long, so if it felt like not much happened that is because I had to cut it in half. The ideas for this story are floating around in my head and I'm trying to write them down before I forget them lol. I'll have the next chapter up tomorrow I promise.   
> Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy. Thank you for reading :)


	9. Familiarity Breeds Contempt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter! Hope you guys enjoy it :)

“All I’m saying is that it’s clear Chris is jealous of Emil now, it’s been three weeks and people are still talking about the super awesome party Emil threw,” Phichit was telling him on the way to their class.

It was true, Yuuri thought, people were still talking about everything that happened that night, from the dance party in the mud to all the breakups that occurred. Yuuri had not realized how much of gossip the school he had decided to attend was. He didn’t understand the fascination people had with the lives of others. He could care less if Monica broke up with Billy because he kissed Lynn during a game of spin the bottle. Or if Johnny the captain of the football team was caught making out with Chase, the captain of the chess club. Yet for some reason, he now was fully aware that Billy was left without a girlfriend and now Johnny and Chase were dating.

All that and more happened in what everyone was calling the party of the year. Not just that, the school’s biggest gossip blogger could not get enough of it. It’s only been three weeks and according to her…(Yuuri didn’t actually know if it was a girl or a guy, but he and his friends always referred to them as her), she was not even halfway into everything that happened that night. Phichit was her biggest fan. It was all very Gossip Girl and if it turned out to be Phichit, Yuuri would not be surprised.

Regardless, it was only a few more weeks until midterms and Chris was already announcing his next party to celebrate the end of midterms. It went through the usual word of mouth and everyone was buzzing, already comparing it to Emil’s. What Yuuri could not comprehend was how any party thrown in that house was any different. To him, they were all the same, just a bunch of idiots drinking, dancing, and doing stupid things. Hell, even the songs were the same and the drinks didn’t vary that much. If anything, Yuuri thought, it had a lot to do with timing.

Chris was smart, he knew that throwing a party after a very stressful week would bring the most drama and that seemed to be what fuels everything. Emil had gotten lucky with his timing, and well, Phichit played a huge part in making it blow up with all his constant tweeting and hashtags. Yuuri was not looking forward to that party, but he knew all he really could do was go with it.

“Emil says he doesn’t care, Chris can try and take his title back, but it’ll be hard,” Phichit added. “I’m impressed by his determination, maybe we just shouldn’t show up and see how that plays out,” Phichit said.

“Yes please,” Yuuri didn’t even think he just blurted it. If there was any chance that he didn’t have to go to a party, he was going to hold on to it as if his life depended on it. Phichit took a step away from him and blinked a couple of times at him and then burst out laughing.

“Oh Yuuri, like that is going to happen,” Phichit continued to laugh, “We’re at the end buddy, these are the last college parties we will every go to. Let’s enjoy them while we can,” He added and threw his arm across Yuuri’s shoulders.

Yuuri let his shoulders drop as they entered the drawing-room. He could hope, but hope was useless, especially when everything that could go wrong goes wrong for him. He doesn’t remember the last time he got what he wanted, lately, it’s been a competition on what is the worst thing that can happen to him in a day. So far, having the guy he had a huge crush on call him a piece of shit was number one.

They took their seats and started to take out their materials. It was not a large class, only sixteen students sat around the room in a semi-circle. Many were whispering among themselves, all wondering who their model for the day would be. Eyes pressed at Celestino’s closed-door where someone said the model was talking to Celestino.

“JJ would have been the perfect model, he could have gotten an excused absence,” Phichit said beside him with a pout. 

“It was very last minute, Celestino already had a model in mind but they bailed,” Yuuri reminded him. After all, it was not like their teacher to leave things to the last minute. The rise in whispers made Yuuri’s own curiosity rise as well, and he found himself looking at the clock counting down to the start of class. By the time the door opened everyone was squirming in their seats. Celestino was the only one who walked out and there was a clear deflation in the crowd that caused Celestino to raise an eyebrow at them.

“Are you our model today?” Phichit asked with a teasing tone. A few chuckled passed around.

“You kids could not handle looking at me for two hours,” Celestino told Phichit and then turned back to his office. “Our model for today was able to make room in his schedule for this, so please be thankful,” He added. Everyone’s eyes were on the figure that exited the office. Yuuri’s entire body tensed up at the first sight of silver hair and too of a wide smile. Viktor was waving and telling everyone that he was very excited to be able to model for them. Yuuri turned to Phitchit with a deadpan face.

“Be a friend and just end my misery for me, please,” Yuuri whispered to Phichit. His friend only send him a sympathetic look and looked at the guy who was now parading around the room in a silk button-up shirt that had one too many open buttons and white pants that hung loosely on his hips. He was barefoot and his hair was tousled on top of his head. One look and Yuuri already knew his theme, his fingers ached to start and the fact the so-called model was still standing around making conversation with the others was making him anxious. Eventually, he sat down on the divan in the middle of the room. Yuuri started to pick out the pencils he needed when he felt Phichit elbow him. Yuuri turned to his friend who signaled at the man in front of them, Yuuri turned to where Victor was now seated. He was met with bright blue eyes looking right at him, there was something seductive in the way he just laid there looking straight at him. A sight that made his breath hitch and his face felt hot.

He figured out what Viktor was trying to do, and Yuuri was not going to let him. One thing he came to learn from Viktor was that a lot of his teasing was subtle, and that was the reason not many caught on to it. His teasing took a mocking turn, and Yuuri sometimes feared that Viktor was aware of the crush he once had on him. If that were the case, Yuuri would have just quit everything and gone to die under a rock or something. While many things did point at that dreadful fact, Viktor never said anything about it. And it was not like Viktor to just keep that big secret quiet for long. Yuuri didn’t know what his endgame was, or if he had one at all. Teasing him seemed to be his favorite pass time and he was not afraid to go to lengths to get his shits and giggles.

Emil’s party was one of the biggest and clearest evidence he had of how Viktor played his game. Viktor was careless and impulsive, he didn’t care what happened, what his actions could cause, he just wanted a laugh. And more often than not, it was at Yuuri’s expense. Like now, He thought he could just sit there and intimidate him into…. what exactly? That was the part that frustrated Yuuri the most, he didn’t understand what Viktor got out of all that. Maybe just satisfaction what he was able to get a reaction out of him, or that he was the one in charge.

But Yuuri was not going to let him, he too could push and pull when it came to it. And this time, Yuuri had a reason to look at him. Yuuri used to steal glances at who he thought was the embodiment of an angel. A man so enchanting he was untouchable, so bright that just looking at him too long could make anyone go blind. A man who never, not even in his wildest dreams, would look at him. Now that man was there in front of him, looking back at him. But he no longer held that halo over his head, his shine no longer blinded Yuuri. The magic lifted and all that was left was a man, a man who was playing a game. A game that Yuuri was also becoming very good at. And if he thought that Yuuri would squirm in his seat the whole two hours he was wrong. 

Yuuri stared back, sat up straight in his chair, and look at the man in front of him. His eyes trailed his body in a shameless manner, taking in every detail of his body. From the way, he laid to the way his hand rested idly at his side. The fall of his feather-like hair, to the curve of the smile he had on his face. He took note of the intensity in Viktor’s eyes that never once left him. The action should have made him feel intimidating, but for some reason having Viktor look at him felt empowering. It felt nice too because what he had craved once upon a time was happening. Viktor was looking at him, and if only for two hours, he knew that Viktor would not look away. Because he had a game to play and Yuuri had to sketch to do.

The first line came easy and the rest followed effortlessly, it felt that way because if Yuuri was being honest, he’s had an image of Viktor in his head for so long. Never, did he have the excuse to draw him, but today he did. Maybe, Yuuri thought, maybe this was finally the day he got what he wanted. For the first time, he was able to draw the man who he’s been staring at for so long and it would not raise any eyebrows. He could stare without having to give others reason, he could stare into his eyes with an excuse. 

No one spoke in the room, the only sounds were the sounds of pencil on paper and the light music playing in the background, a French aria that Celestino was fond of. There were moments where Yuuri didn’t look up from his paper, but he could still feel Viktor’s eyes on him. The feeling only motivated him more, his hands shook but in anticipation as he saw his sketch take form. To Yuuri, Viktor had been an angel, and he drew him as such.

Perfection in art is often attributed to scriptures, like the ones he was researching for his project. Michelangelo’s David showed a depiction of strength with his chiseled body and strong gaze. But strength was not just brute force, sometimes strength could be delicate, it could be soft. It could be a man of flesh laying on cold marble, it would be a wingless, halo-less man who hurts as much as he motivates.

Lines, a thousand lines become a picture. And as Yuuri looked down there was a brief minute of panic as he felt a rush of exposure. As if for the first time, he had let all that crowded his head out for the world to see. Art is not art because it’s beautiful, it’s art because it means something. Beauty after all is subjective, but for the first time, Yuuri could look down at his work and think that it was beautiful. It is beautiful, not because the model was beautiful, but because it meant something. He looked back at his model one last time, this time he didn’t do it to play a game. This time it was to lock him in his head, a memory for when he needed inspiration.

His eyes roamed the length of his body, taking in the build of his shoulders and his delicate long fingers what could create masterpieces in explosions of color. Yuuri looked at his face a little longer, taking in the shape of his lips, the angle of his jaw and cheeks. The shape yet warmness in his blue eyes that stared back with an intensity that he’s become accustomed to. Dressed in all white, Viktor became ethereal. A ghost sitting in front of him with icy eyes that were speaking to him in a language that didn’t make any sense to him.

Minako once told him that a muse was not something at an artist come by frequently, a muse was something or someone you had to keep close if one was able to find them because finding another would be almost impossible. Yuuri never thought he would find one, he didn’t think he would need one, nor did he ever think he would find it in a silver-haired man who made his heart hurt. After all, inspiration was not something he rarely lacked, but as he stared at the man before him, Yuuri understood what his teacher had meant. She, however, never prepared him for the odds that his muse would end up being the one person who hated him the most. He knew this could be the last time he would ever have Viktor like this, this moment would not happen again. So, he kept looking at the man in front of him trying to capture the memory of the one person who would be the base for all this art from now on. That fact did scare him, and he wondered if by that it meant that Viktor had won again.

“Alright, class let’s start wrapping up. Make your last adjustments, I want to take the last few minutes to allow you to share your work,” Celestino announced. His voice brought Yuuri’s attention back to the present and he realized that their two hours were almost up. He looked down at his work again.

Perfection didn’t exist, that was one thing Yuuri had very clear in his head. After all, he had spent years trying to achieve perfections in his art. Only for it to bring out things that were far from perfect. The search for perfection didn’t cease, it only morphed. Overthinking, reevaluating, hesitation, the list went on. Perfection, like beauty, was subjective, all up to interpretation. Whose interpretation, that was where Yuuri found his comfort because as long as it was good enough for him it would be good enough for the world.

That was not an easy thought, and it didn’t come overnight. That mindset was the construction of a series of talks with his psychologist and a lot of trial and error. It was a hard-fought fight with himself, one that was almost lost multiple times. Years and years of being told he was not good enough, years of being teased just for being himself. Those things made him doubt the principles that make something perfect or beautiful. Because for so long, he was unperfect, he was ugly. So why would his art ever be beautiful or perfect?

Art came to his rescue because art didn’t always have to be perfect or beautiful. Sometimes it could also just be a chubby little boy with glasses who liked to draw. And that gave him hope because while he was not people’s idea of perfection or beauty, he could be art if he meant something. And he did…mean something…to so many people. With a deep breath, he put down his pencil and smiled because to him, his work was done. It was perfect, beautiful, it meant something and that was enough.

“Yuuri,” He heard Celestino say behind him. “Have you gone to your interview yet?” He asked.

“No,” Yuuri replied still looking down at his sketch. 

“Then you must add this to your portfolio before you go, this piece alone will open the doors for you,” his mentor told him, “I’m so proud of you, Yuuri. And I know Minako will be too.” Yuuri didn’t say anything he only looked down at the drawing on his lap. He was content with the outcome, and that was saying something. It was not his best work by far, but it was good. Over the years he had learned to acknowledge that there was talent in him, Minako would have never let him go this far if she didn’t believe he had potential. She was a kind and caring person, but also someone who would tell you if you didn’t have talent. She had believed in him and helped open many doors for him.

After all she was not Japan’s best artist for nothing, her talent was unparalleled. But she knew that if he wanted to get far, he needed to come to America, and study under the best. The last thing Yuuri wanted was to disappoint her, to let her down after all the effort she put on him. Some days were better than most, but in coming to Detroit and studying under Celestino and Professor Baranovskaya, he knew he was far from disappointing his teacher.

“Wow,” He heard his friends say beside him. He looked over Phichit’s picture was equally as surprised. His interpretation of Viktor took a more modern take, one where Viktor was just a man with a beautiful background and not a beautiful man with a background like his. Phichit was talented as well, Yuuri had seen more than one masterpiece come from his hands. And the sketch in front of him was one of them too. In the picture, the man looked away, his gaze being occupied somewhere else, wherein Yuuri’s, the eyes of the model were looking straight ahead.

“We did pretty well with what we had,” Phichit said with a smirk. Yuuri only silently shook his head at his friend and looked around to see the work of the others in his class. Show and tell didn’t take all class and Celestino let them go early. Yuuri was packing his things slowly since Phichit was talking with one of their classmates across the room. He was in no hurry either, this was his last class of the day.

“Do you mind if I see your sketch, everyone keeps saying it’s a true masterpiece,” Viktor said to him. The sound of his voice made Yuuri jump up a bit. He looked up at Viktor who was still wearing his white clothes. Yuuri reached out for his notepad and flipped back to the sketch and presented it to the man in front of him. Viktor didn’t say anything and Yuuri didn’t push it. Viktor didn’t seem displeased with the sketch, but he also didn’t show much emotion. Was that all part of his game, to put doubt in him?

“Do you not like it?” Yuuri couldn’t help but ask after the long pause.

“It’s beautiful Yuuri,” Viktor said with a sigh filled with what Yuuri could only describe as disappointment. It made his chest hurt and his hands turn to fists, but before he could open his mouth to say anything Viktor continued. “Who did you have in mind when you drew this?” He asked. Yuuri was certain he heard bitterness in his tone. Yuuri was confused.

“Well, you were the model,” Yuuri told him, “Are you making fun of me?” Viktor looked at him with wide eyes and shook his head.

“No, of course not. It’s just that…it’s beautiful,” Viktor told him in a small voice.

“Well it’s you,” Yuuri said before he could stop himself. A long second went by before a smile appeared on Viktor’s face. It was also the most beautiful thing that Yuuri had witnessed that day and he’s been staring at him for the last two hours.

“Is that how you see me?” Viktor asked in almost a whisper. Before Yuuri could reply Viktor looked up from the sketch with an even wider expression. “Let me sketch you, let me show you how I see you,” He pleaded. Yuuri sat back in his chair taken aback by the sudden proposition. He could only shake his head. There were many reasons why he didn’t want to do that, one of them being because he didn’t want to see how Viktor saw him. The thought only made him panic.

“Please,” Viktor begged again. Yuuri didn’t spend much time with Viktor and those brief moments he did were mostly in passing. Therefore, he had never been subject to his puppy eyes, he was not prepared to be attacked by them. Being caught off guard made his eyes grow wider like a deer caught in headlights.

“Fine,” Yuuri mumbled. He could deal with that later, in that moment all he wanted was to be removed from the sight of the man who was making him feel things. Viktor smiled wide at him again and made a move to come closer but the sound of Phichit’s voice stopped him mid-step.

“Hey, Yuuri!” His friend had called out. Yuuri looked up to see his friend standing by the door and waving him over.

“I have to go,” Yuuri told Viktor. He quickly repacked his sketchpad into his bag and walked over his friend now allowing any time for Viktor to say another word. Phichit kept his eyes on Viktor as Yuuri approached him.

“Did he say something to you?” Phichit asked once they were out the door and walking down the hall.

“He just wanted to see my sketch. He liked it…I think,” Yuuri replied with a frown. He didn’t say he didn’t like it, he only seemed surprised. They ate lunch in the courtyard, it was a silent affair until they were joined by Sara and Isabella. His phone vibrated in his pocket as Isabella was retelling the events of the movies last night. When Yuuri looked to see who had messaged him, he was surprised, for more than one reason. First, he didn’t expect Yuri to be actually texting him, and second, his message was a little…shocking.

**Yuri** —Apparently my dad has a date tonight…gross!

**Yuri—** Are you up to making Katsudon tonight?

He reread the text a few times and could still not find what part was the most shocking. The fact he called Mr. Feltsman dad for the first time, the fact Mr. Feltsman had a date, or the fact Yuri wanted to spend more time with him than the necessary. Regardless he texted back a shocked emoji and agreed to cook for him. They worked out a time to go buy groceries and where to meet. It worked because it was at the same time Phichit would be going to class, and he didn’t have to answer questions. He did make a note to ask Yuri if he was okay with Phichit knowing about their tutoring sessions, he didn’t like keeping things from his friend.

When Yuri was done with his last class of the day they met at the gate of his house.

“We can take the car, it’ll be easier than trying to carry everything back on the bus,” Yuri told him and showed him the keys in his hands.

“You know how to drive?” Yuuri asked surprised but started to follow him. He was hesitant, however.

“Don’t worry I won’t kill us, come on,” Yuri laughed that didn’t sound too convincing. They walked to the back where a two-door garage stood. With a click of a button the door on the left open and inside was a white Audi, with another click the doors unlocked. They walked to their sides and got in. “It’s Viktor’s so don’t worry about anything,” Yuri said as slammed the door shut. Yuuri visibly winced and closed his own door with a normal amount of force. The car was empty of much but a USB port and a few CD’s which was the first thing Yuuri reached out for. It was all in Russian.

“It’s shit music, Viktor has the shittiest taste,” Yuri told him as he started to back up from the garage. Yuuri put them back and instead started to press the buttons on the radio, Yuuri quickly learned that Yuri had a very selective taste in music. They were driving into the interception that led to the main street and the street that lead to the frat house, that was where they saw Viktor and Chris walking. Yuuri started to panic and tried to sink back in his seat.

“Chill, the windows are tinted,” Yuri told him and then pressed the horn making the other two jumps in surprise. “Idiots,” Yuri said which caused them both to laugh. They left the two shocked boys behind and drove on to the store.

“You’ll never guess what happened to me today?” Yuuri started as he continued to play with the radio.

“What?” Yuri asked but kept his eyes on the road ahead of them.

“We needed a model for my sketch class today, you’ll never guess who volunteered.”

Yuri turned to him with an amused look and started laughing. Yuuri was not as amused. “Holy shit really, how it go?” Yuuri told him that it was not as big of a deal as he had thought and promised to show him the sketch later.

“So, who’s your future mom?” Yuuri teased and the blond boy was not amused.

“I will punch you in the face,” He threatened, Yuuri only laughed because payback was sweet. 

“I don’t know, Yakov just walked into the living room this morning saying he had a date tonight and to order a pizza or something,” Yuri added. Yuuri didn’t know what to say, what could he say. He did notice that Yuri didn’t seem to mind his father going on a date, he did mention it was gross multiple times but never said anything about being opposed to the idea. 

Buying ingredients was a mission in itself, they ran around the store multiple times until they had what they needed to make Katsudon. Sometime around the time, they were waiting in line to pay Viktor had called Yuri asking where he went with his car. Yuri only told him to fuck off and hung up. Yuuri had to remind him that he should probably be a little nicer to his brother. Yuri replied with not the nicest of words and Yuuri only laughed. When they returned to Yuri's house, they started the process of making food.

“You know, I’m going to call you Katsudon from now on. It gets weird to call you Yuuri all the time,” Yuri said suddenly. “Plus, that way I can talk to my dad in front of Viktor without him knowing it’s you,” He added. There was a hint of mischief in it that make Yuuri laughed.

“In that case, I’ll call you…” Yuuri thought for a while of a name to call him. “Yurio,” He called out.

“What that’s lame,” Yurio exclaimed. Yuuri only shrugged and refused to hear the suggestions Yurio started to spit out. Eventually, Yurio realized there was nothing he could do about it and started to wash the vegetables with a scowl. It took a while and some of the steps were a shot in the dark, but they managed. They did have a few mishaps but nothing that put them in danger. Yuuri called it a win when they finished cooking and the kitchen had not once gone up in flames. He did make a bit of a mess, but he expected that much. Everything was going great until he heard Makkachin start barking as the front door opened and Yuuri looked at Yurio in panic. Yurio stared back at him frozen in the middle of the kitchen, he could see his gears working.

“Is it Viktor?” Yuuri whispered. He started to look for places to hide. Yurio turned to him and told him to say that he would take care of it. Yuuri was contemplating jumping out the kitchen window when he heard Mr. Feltsman’s voice. And he relaxed, he took deep breaths to try and relax his racing heart. A few seconds later he was back to normal, he cleaned his hands and walked out the kitchen to greet him. That was when he wished he hadn’t.

“So, you haven’t blown up my kitchen yet,” Mr. Feltsman said with a grunt. Yuuri opened his mouth to tell him food was almost ready when he saw the women beside him, and his mouth fell open.

“Professor…. Baranovskaya,” He choked out. His professor looked equally as surprised beside Mr. Feltsman, although she recovered quicker than him.

“Yuuri, what a…surprise,” She said with a smile.

He never once could have imagined having dinner with his professor, the president of his university, and his son. But there he was, serving his mother’s Katsudon to them. His only consolation was that they all thought it was the best thing they have ever tasted.

“So, Yuuri is in your class,” Mr. Feltsman said when the fact had been revealed. “You didn’t tell me you had a class with Viktor,” he added looking right at Yuuri.

“Oh, it never came up,” Yuuri said and looked at Yurio for help but the blond was too busy eating his food.

“They are also working on a group project together,” Professor Baranovskaya added, “Why is he not here, I thought you two were attached to the hip.”

Yurio snorted beside him. Yuuri roll his eyes and shook his head, now he paid attention. Yurio looked up with a teasing smile on his face, Yuuri glare back at him.

“A group project?” Mr. Feltsman asked in interest. Yuuri knew how much Mr. Feltsman wanted to know what his sons were doing, so he told him of the group and their topic. There was not much to say, he had revised their paper earlier that day and send a copy to everyone so they could read it before he submitted it tomorrow. He did tell him all the effort and dedication Viktor had put into his part of the assignment, mostly because it was true.

Yurio soon got bored with the topic, which seemed to be constant when the topic was Viktor. And so, they moved on to the topic of their date. Yuuri wished he didn’t have to hear about their lost reservation because they were late, they refused to say why they were late, but the mind was sometimes a horrible place. Despite the clear awkwardness was that was present, they enjoyed dinner and light conversation. It mostly revolved around art and school, that was where Yuuri learned that Yurio was in the exploratory major, meaning that he was yet to pick a major.

He was still a freshman and it was common for them to have not picked a major yet, especially since they were still taking the basics. However, it seemed that Mr. Feltsman was anxiously waiting to learn Yurio’s career path. It was clear, however, that he would not be going into the fine arts like Viktor. And Yuuri didn’t know Yurio well enough to try and take a guess at what he might want to do with his life.

“Are you started your piece for the exhibition at the end of the year yet?” Professor Baranovskaya asked as they started to clear the table.

“No,” Yuuri admitted. If truth be told, he didn’t even feel like starting it yet. It was not that he didn’t have any inspiration, in his head he knew what he wanted to do. But that was the reason he didn’t start it. Most, if not all of his art was planned, it was thought out and calculated. He wanted to do something spontaneous as his last piece, but he was not prepared to start it yet. Also, because the moment he would realize that the end was coming. It was something that he’s tried not to dwell too much on. Sure, he was excited to finally be done after years of being in school, but at the same time, he didn’t know what to do with his life after that. He’s spent his whole life in school one way or another and the idea of going out into the unknown was a little scary.

In short, he was scared of starting his exhibition piece and he was going to push it to the last minute. Something that his professor in front of him didn’t find too smart. Regardless, Yuuri was going to end up doing what he wanted and that was that. They would get something in the end, he could assure them that much. What it was, well, he didn’t know yet and he doubted that he would until it was done. 

“What exhibition?” Yurio asked. Now, they were in the kitchen washing the dishes they used. Yuuri was washing and Yurio was cleaning. While Mr. Feltsman and Professor Baranovskaya were putting away leftover ingredients.

“At the end of the year, the graduating class holds an exhibition to show off their best works. Family and friends can come and look around at the art, there is live music from the music department, and sometimes performances from the theater department.” She told them. “Has Viktor not told you about it?” Professor Baranovskaya asked Mr. Feltsman.

“No, he has not,” Mr. Feltsman said with a thinking face. “I wonder why,” He added.

“Knowing him he probably forgot, he has the memory of a goldfish after all,” Yurio said while he frantically rubbed the plate in his hand dry.

Yuuri smiled and realized that was another thing he learned about Viktor without actually knowing him. The more he learned about Viktor the more human he seemed to become, he no longer felt like the picture of the god-like angel he had drawn earlier that day. And maybe that was why Viktor had not believed it was him who Yuuri had sketched. Perhaps he had idolized Viktor and made him out to be something he wasn’t, and when he showed a face that was not one Yuuri had anticipated, he turned Viktor into the worst in his head because he had expected only the best from Viktor. Maybe it was his fault for expecting too much from a simple guy who just happened to look like an angel after all familiarity breeds contempt, but the more he learned about Viktor the more he started to realize how complex he was. Every piece of information Yuuri received contradicted itself and he started to wonder if maybe he was misinterpreting something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In trying to find a good cut off place for the chapter before this I might have made this one shorter than usual.  
>  I'm sorry (*_ _)人 I'll try to have the next part up as soon as I can.


	10. Burning Bridges

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back guys, sorry for the wait. To make it up to you guys I left this chapter super long. I really appreciate all the comments and kudos, by the way, they mean so much to me. Thank you<3   
> Hope you guys enjoy this chapter.

His friends were crazy, Yuuri knew that but it never stopped to amazing him just how crazy they could get. He often wonders if they had some kind of competition to see if they could out-crazy each other. The answer was always yes, and all Yuuri could do was sit and watch it happen. This time his friends had the bright idea of using their free time to have a water balloon fight in the middle of the courtyard.

The weather was warming considerably, but it was still cold and by no means water balloon fight weather. He stood a safe distance from the chaos and watched as his friends went ham on each other. Curious students stopped by some joined in on the apparent fun while others stayed a safe distance away and simply watched. The more people that joined the more amused Yuuri got. At first Phichit and his friends tried to persuade him into joining, but he had the excuse that he needed to focus on his exhibition piece and would just watch, in case he got some kind of inspiration. The excuse had worked, and they left him alone for the most part. In reality, however, he only started at a blank piece of paper and was texting Yurio, who had a lot to say.

It sounded a little crazy to think about it, but midterms were coming up in the next few days, and it felt like time was moving on fast and he was just starting to realize it. While he had three different midterms, he was not worried. Both his art classes were only projects and he had finished both of those during his time with Yurio. Professor Baranovskaya didn’t worry him either, as Phichit had pointed out once, his notes were very thorough and he was used to her testing styles, so he knew what to expect. That didn’t mean he was not going to overstudy and worry the whole time until he turned in his exam. Class with Viktor was not as bad as Yuuri had first feared. They had not sat together since that first day and they rarely talked unless it was to talk about their group project. Their next paper was an individual one, so they didn’t need to get together again, at least not until their final project was due and for presentations.

If he got anything out from their group time together was getting to know both Georgi and Seung Gil. They were now a little more than acquaintances but not quite friends, regardless, that fact made Phichit very happy. Not a day went by when he didn’t ask for an update on Seung Gil, or if they were friends enough to invite him to sit with them. Yuuri could only roll his eyes and tell him to invite Seung Gil himself instead.

Yurio also didn’t seem to be worried about his exams either. According to Mr. Feltsman, Yurio was doing well in his other classes and even better in math now. Yuuri was starting to wonder if he needed him anymore, or if Yurio ever needed him in the first place. Their lessons were mostly only refreshers of what he learned and most of the time he didn’t need any help. Their dynamics changed a bit too, now every Thursday he stayed over and had dinner with both Yurio and Mr. Feltsman. On Tuesdays, he would spend it with his friends after his lessons, and eventually, it came out that he was tutoring. Phichit was a bit annoyed that Yuuri didn’t tell him in the first place and didn’t know why he had to keep it a secret.

Yuuri ever actually told any of his friends who he was tutoring, and they didn’t ask either. Things took a more normal pace, one that he could keep up with. That didn’t mean that it was predictable because that was not how the people in his life lived their lives and as default that was not how he lived his. There were random dorm room visits from one or multiple friends that ended in a sugar coma and sore eyes from playing video games until the morning hours. There were other days where he gets texts from Yurio whining about how disturbing his dad was being with his girlfriend. He loved to give Yurio shit about it, but he had to admit that Mr. Feltsman and Professor Baranovskaya together seemed a little surreal. They were after all two vastly different people, but it only took one glance at the way Mr. Feltsman looked at Lilia (She had insisted he called her that outside of class) to know he was completely smitten. Her class had been a little awkward at first, but after a few days, it became almost normal. However, they did have a silent understanding that they would not speak of it out loud during class.

Yuuri was sure that deep down Yurio was happy for his father. Yuuri learned that Yurio was the exact opposite of his brother in yet another thing. While Viktor showed his feelings freely, it was a little hard for Yurio to do the same. And when those feelings were either too embarrassing to him, if he didn’t understand them, or if he had a hard time showing them, they would come out in anger. Yuuri found it rather endearing and amusing to watch him try to hide or work though emotions like he was feeling them for the first time. He wondered if it was another outcome of being homeschooled and not exposed to many people his age. Maybe showing his feelings around people who were not family felt odd or maybe he just felt too vulnerable.

He wouldn’t tell Yurio, but he had talked about him to Dr. Bin. The doctor had been interested in the fact Yuuri had gone out and befriended Viktor’s brother instead of Viktor himself. Yuuri had to convince him that his friendship with Yurio had nothing to do with Viktor and more with his wallet. But that was a weak argument when Yuuri had admitted to refusing money from Mr. Feltsman after the second week. He just didn’t feel comfortable charging for being Yurio’s friend, because if he had to be honest, he was not doing much tutoring with Yurio. In fact, it was more like two friends getting together to do homework twice a week.

Regardless, Dr. Bin said that there was a lot to learn about people based on their family. Which was true, he did learn a lot of things regarding Viktor. Most contradicted themselves, because Mr. Feltsman (or Yakov as he had insisted he be called as well) had a picture of Viktor as the perfect child who was a little wacky, while Yurio saw him as the most annoying person in the world. And maybe he was both. That was what being homeschooled did to someone, according to Mr. Feltsman. Despite all that, in the past couple of days, Yuuri had been trying to come up with a way to approach Viktor and ask him what his deal was. But the time never seemed right, Yuuri could never get him alone or find him in a place suitable for a talk. He concluded that there would never be perfect timing and he was just making up excuses.

**Yurio: My dad is going on another date, he wants me to come to this one….WTF!**

Yuuri chuckled as he read the text and was thankful for the new distraction. Although Mr. Feltsman’s love life was not the topic of conversation he would have wanted, it was the one he got. Yuuri clicked open the message and started to type a reply.

**Yuuri: Have fun chaperoning!**

The text messages were a series of curse words, Yuuri was always impressed at the amount of different swear words Yurio knew, he even learned some new ones. And if he ever ran out of ones in English he reverted to Russian. At first, he had googled them and realized that was a mistake, so he stopped.

**Yurio: Come with me, it’s not fair I have to deal with those two alone. She’s your professor! All this is half your fault!!**

He didn’t understand how any of that was his fault, but there was no point in pointing that out to Yurio. Instead, he did the next best thing he could do and that was to tease him.

**Yuuri: If you wanted me to go on a date with you, you could have just asked ;)**

Yuuri bend over laughing at the next round of insults, this time a mix of Russian and English, he was surprised when he saw Japanese added into the mixture and it made everything even better. It was funnier when he imagined Yuiro googling Japanese curse words, he started to wonder what Yuri’s search history looked like. 

**Yurio: I’m serious, this is a life or death situation!!!!**

**Yurio: I don’t think I will survive this; you know how weird they can get when they just stare at each other and don’t say anything.**

Yuuri had to admit there was a weirdness in how they could just stare at each other like they were the greatest thing in the world. It was cute sure, but the staring went on for much longer, that was where it got creepy. It was getting to Phichit staring at Seung Gil level of creepy.

**Yuuri: Fine, I’ll go, but we’re getting ice cream afterward and you’re paying.**

After a series text Yuuri learned that they would be going to some French restaurant downtown that had been a big buzz when it had opened last year. He knew the place because Phichit had dragged them on opening day. The food had been good, but neither of their wallets had been able to get them to go back. Luckily, Yurio had promised to buy him dinner as compensation and Yuuri was not about to argue with free food. He argued anyways though, just to mess with the boy.

“Yuuri come on, you’re not even doing anything!” He looked up from his phone to see Michele looking at him and waving him over. At that moment Emil thought it was a good idea to throw him a balloon, but Michele saw it coming and ducked, and ended up hitting Yuuri square in the face instead. Both boys stood frozen waiting for Yuuri’s reaction. They started looking at each other, eyes narrowed and waiting.

“Oh, it’s on!” Yuuri exclaimed shooting up and running after them. He got a handful of balloons from Sara and started throwing them at Emil who tried to dodge them best he could. Emil was fast and could dodge most of them, Michele was not good at dodging, but he was great at finding cover. Most of his shields were unwilling bystanders that gave them glares and the stray curse word when they were met with the full force of Yuuri’s aim.

He was so lost in his thirst for vengeance that he started to throw balloons were ever Emil and Michele went, that he didn’t realize that one of his throws had gone astray and hit someone in the back of the head. And of course, it was not just anyone, oh no the universe could never let Yuuri have a good time. The blue balloon flew a few feet into the pavemented area where a group of bystanders stood. Among them a familiar silver-haired man that stood with his back to them. Yuuri visibly winced as the balloon made contact with the back of his head getting him all wet. He couldn’t even hide or pretend it had not been him because Chris had seen the whole thing.

“Shoot, I’m sorry!” He called out in hopes this would not fuel him into calling him more names. But before anyone could get a word out, he felt another hit on his shoulder and saw Isabella laughing and aiming another at him. He moved again this time aiming towards Isabella who was now taking cover in between JJ and Phichit. After a few more throws he realized going after Isabella was a bad choice, her aim was impeccable and with JJ by her side, they were an unbeatable duo.

A little while later Chris and Viktor joined in, but they had water guns, how they got those he didn’t know, but what he did know was that he needed to find cover because both boys were coming after him. Yuuri hid behind Otabek who took a drench and started to yell at everyone, Yuuri only laughed and ran again. Viktor’s friends all held water guns, that according to JJ had been in the shed behind their house. He was angry he hadn’t thought about bringing them. Viktor seemed to be fixed on him and Yuuri did the best with his poor aim and the limited number of balloons he could hold at a time. Eventually, they all had to stop to refuel, and then it started back up again.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Phichit and Seung Gil having a little rivalry of their own, they were so involved with each other they didn’t even notice that everyone else had left them alone. They were off in their own little world. Yuuri was in his own battle too, Viktor was determined to get him wet at all cost and Yuuri used those around him to avoid that. Otabek had proved to be a bad shield, so he moved on to the next, Leo. He was also not amused by being used and instead of starting to throw balloons back at Yuuri. There were very few trees around and Yuuri ended up hiding behind one, Viktor had chosen to camp behind a wooden bench and wait for Yuuri to show himself or surrender. But Yuuri was not going to do any of those things. 

“You can’t hide forever!” Viktor called out from behind the bench.

“Who says I’m hiding!” Yuuri called back. He only had five balloons now, and Viktor’s gun could not be any more than half full. Yuuri was also in no hurry to leave his perfect shield anytime soon. So, Viktor would either have to move up to him, leave or wait. A few minutes passed and he ended up moving up, Yuuri heard him before he saw him. Viktor let loose on him entirely and he felt water going down the back of his shirt.

“Ah!” Yuuri exclaimed and started to throw his balloons at him, he was closed and Yuuri moved back to try and get away but only ended up losing his footing and falling. Viktor didn’t stop until all his water was gone and that is when Yuuri attacked him with the remainder of his ammunition. He was able to get two face shots and was incredibly satisfied.

“Truce!” Viktor called out laughing and trying to shield his face with his arms. Yuuri held one last balloon in his hands and was aiming it at his face again. “Please,” He added putting both hands up.

Yuuri narrowed his eyes and threw it at his chest instead. That didn’t amuse Viktor who sent him a dry expression that then turned into a smile. Then he leaned forward and extended a hand towards him. Yuuri stared at it for a pause and then took it, only because the grass was poking him. Viktor pulled him up with ease to his feet.

“That was fun,” Viktor said with a smile. Yuuri only took off his glasses and started to rub off the water droplets on them. “Oh, it’s my dad,” He heard Viktor say as he waved towards the building in front of him. 

Yuuri followed Viktor’s gaze up to the building, on the third-floor window was Mr. Feltsman looking down at them. It was too far up to see his expression but Yuuri waved anyways and then walked away. There was a brief second before he heard Viktor running after him.

“Hey, Yuuri!” He heard him call out and Yuuri didn’t stop until he was back to where everyone was standing either gathering more balloons or trying to dry off.

“Yeah?” He asked turning around to face him. He almost laughed at the sight if Viktor, his hair was a flatten wet mess on top of his head, Yuuri didn’t want to even imagine he looked like at the moment.

“Are you doing anything tonight, we’re having a game night over at the house and well…” Viktor trailed off and bit his bottom lip.

And what? Yuuri wanted to ask but he didn’t because he could feel the eyes of everyone around him on them. Everyone just waiting for some kind of drama to grasp on to, he saw JJ stop what he was doing and look their way eyes targeted on Viktor. Was this the start to some joke, was Viktor trying to be friendly by inviting him over? Whatever it was, he panicked and couldn’t help the next words that felt his mouth.

“Do you want to come, or are you busy?’ Viktor asked again standing up straight with newly gained confidence.

“Yeah actually, I’m going on a date tonight,” He told him and walked away not wanting to stick around in case Viktor was really going to tease him again. JJ looked like was ready to jump in at the sign of anything and Yuuri really wanted to avoid his friends getting involved.

“Oh,” was all he heard Viktor.

Yuuri was not necessarily lying, he was going on a date, not his date, but a date, nonetheless. He smiled to himself at the idea that Viktor had no idea he was going to be chaperoning his father’s date with their professor. He wondered what Viktor’s face would be if he were to tell him. He shook his head, that was probably a bad idea, instead, he went in search of Phichit to let him know he was leaving. When he finally found him, he wished he had just not. Because as he turned the corner of a building, he saw Phichit being pressed against a wall by Seung Gil and kissing like their life depended on it. Surprised he backed away slowly to not disturb them and went to their dorm instead. He could tease him later about that.

Phichit didn’t return while he got ready and Yuuri only sent him a text saying he was going out. He wondered if Phichit and Seung Gil would finally get together or if they would drag everything for longer. He wouldn’t put it pass Phichit to panic and make the wrong move. Whatever happened, he would probably not find out until he returned to his dorm later that night. He arrived at Yurio’s house on time and saw another person in the middle of a panic.

“Good you’re here, yellow or blue?” Mr. Feltsman asked turning to him and holding up two ties that looked the same except for the color. Yurio was looking at him with a bored look and based on the irritated expression on Mr. Feltsman’s face, Yurio was not helping.

“Professor Baranovskaya’s favorite color is yellow,” Yuuri told him and saw Mr. Feltsman lower the blue with a nod, “But she knows you know that, so wearing it would make it seemed like you are trying too hard and that might make her feel uncomfortable.” Mr. Feltsman added as if he too had just realized that and dropped the red tie like it was on fire.

“You’re right,” He said and left with the blue tie. Yuuri bit back a laugh and instead picked up the yellow tie from the floor.

“That was a bunch of bull huh?” Yurio asked. Yuuri only nodded and tried not to laugh again.

“They are the same,” Yuuri told him showing him the tie, “Who the hell cares, it’s just a tie,” He added. Although he didn’t think yellow suited him very much.

“I know right,” Yurio said and threw his hands up in the air. Yurio was wearing a white button-up shirt with suspenders and black pants. It was probably the most dressed up Yuuri has ever seen him. They almost matched too because Yuuri had chosen a white bottom up shirt and black pants too, he decided to roll up his sleeves. They would be taking both cars, Mr. Feltsman left first to go pick up Professor Baranovskaya, Yuuri and Yurio took Viktor’s car again. They had sung along to random songs on the radio and laughed about having to ‘chaperone’ a date tonight.

The restaurant was not overcrowded, and Mr. Feltsman had reserved a table farther from the more crowded area. They were the first to arrive by only a few minutes. Yurio and Yuuri were debating what to get when Mr. Feltsman and Professor Baranovskaya arrived. She was wearing a black dress that reached her knees and short heel shoes of the color blue. This time her hair was down and Yuuri was surprised at how pretty she looked. He was so used to seeing her in her bun that he didn’t realize how long and shiny her hair was.

“Hello Yuri and Yuuri,” She greeted them with a smirk. Both boys sighed and kept looking at their menus as Mr. Feltsman pulled a chair out for her and took the seat in front of her. Leaving Yuuri to sit next to her. “I thought Viktor was going to come too,” She asked this time looking at Mr. Feltsman. Only now did the fifth chair at their table make sense. Yuuri’s eyes turned to Yurio who only shook his head as he tried to hide a smile. Yuuri wondered what that smile meant.

“He said he was busy tonight,” Mr. Feltsman said. He hid it well but Yuuri could tell there was sadness behind those words.

“He’s the asshole son after all,” Yurio commented. Yuuri kicked him under the table and send him a look. Yurio ignored him, luckily the waiter came around to take their drink order to save them from an awkward silence. Yurio and Yuuri kept their own conversation for most of the time and did their best to not listen to what Yakov and Lilia were talking about. Not that it mattered really because it was mostly about work. More than once did Yurio fake yawn when they started to talk about academic things. The subject changed and it was not in their favor, at least not Yuuri’s favor.

“I saw you with Viktor today,” Yakov (he continued to insist Yuuri called him that) started. “You say you two are not friends, but I see you together all the time,” He added.

“It’s not by choice,” Yuuri mumbled. “My friends and I were having a water balloon fight and I accidentally hit Viktor in the back of the head,” He told him.

Yurio turned to him with a wide expression of delight. “Did you get in on video?” He asked.

“It was on accident, but he came back with a water gun and made it his goal to go after me,” He told him with a scowl. 

“Did you at least get back at him?” Yurio asked with disappointment at the lack of video evidence.

“I fought back and won, he called for a truce,” He told the blond boy. “Sucker.” They both shared a laugh.

“You two have not sat together again, did you fight?” Lilia asked as she wiped her mouth and turned to give him her attention.

“We are always fighting. That first time I have no idea why he sat next to me,” Yuuri admitted. He still didn’t know why he choosed to have him in his group, but maybe it was to have him close and make torturing him easier. At first, he thought it was to sabotage their project but that seemed very unlikely since it was his grade too and he actually did a very good job on his part.

“How is the project coming along?” Yakov asked trying to move on when it was evident Yuuri was not going to add on his comment.

“Great, we got an A,” Yuuri replied and send a smile to Yurio who rolled his eyes and mumbled the word nerds under his breath.

“It was a good paper too; I was impressed by the quality of the work from all of you. Especially Viktor, I must admit I was a little hesitant about him,” Lilia told Yakov with a smile. “But he pulled through and seems to be taking the course seriously,” She added. Yuuri could admit that she was right, Viktor was a diligent student and it showed in his artwork and assignments. Sure, he did seem like a little of an airhead most of the time and a little silly, but he got his stuff done on time and well.

“My Vitya is a hard worker, but I think this is because he’s trying to impress someone,” Yakov stated with a knowing look which Lilia returned. Yuuri wondered if Viktor knew that Yakov was going out with Lilia and was trying to make a good impression. It seemed like a long shot since the assignment was done before Yakov and Lilia went on the first date.

“I wonder who,” Yuuri found himself asking out loud. Yurio groaned loudly which caused both his dad and Lilia to chuckle.

“How dense are you seriously, do you not realize it or are you pretending not to?” Yuri asked. Yuuri looked at Yurio, Yakov, and Lilia for a clue on what he meant. How was he dense, sure, he sometimes overlooked things, but how was any of that relevant now?

“Just an idiot huh?” Yurio stated after a pause and shook his head.

“Yura,” Yakov scolded and turned to Yuuri with a smile. “What my son means is that maybe you are not seeing the whole picture, Viktor is clearly trying to impress you.” Yuuri scoffed and gave them all a dry look. Impress him, for what reason?

“He likes you Yuuri,” Lilia added with another smile.

“That’s crazy, you tell them Yurio,” Yuuri turned to the only one who could look through the mess they were saying. Only this time it seemed that Yurio was betraying him.

“As disgusting as it is, it’s true. Why else would he have begged Yakov to convince Lilia to accept him in that class?” Yurio asked.

He had to admit he was curious as to what compelled Viktor to take one of the hardest classes with the hardest teachers. He deduced that it was probably to be in the same class as his two friends, but that was just the conclusion he came to because nothing else made any sense.

“How did he convince you?” Yuuri asked Lilia hoping that embarrassment would make them change the subject. It was no use, Professor Baranovskaya was unbreakable.

“Don’t change the subject Yuuri,” Lilia told him with a raised eyebrow.

Yuuri sighed and sat back in his chair. “Look, Viktor doesn’t like me, he hides it well but it’s clear that he does not like my presence,” Yuuri told them.

“That’s a bunch of bull shit and you know it Katsudon,” Yurio told him and stabbed his food.

“Like Yura, Viktor was also homeschooled too. He didn’t have many friends if any really, so to him making friends is hard. When he started college in New York he lived with us and was not able to form any bonds with his peers, moving here was his way of changing that. He decided against living with us and instead joined a fraternity because he wanted the camaraderie of those around him. He wanted to live and have a regular campus life, but even if he has friends now it’s still hard for him to relate to those around him.” Yakov told him. “I’m not telling you to excuse his behavior, if he has said and done things to hurt you, I think the best thing you can do it let him know. Teach him a lesson or two, it will be beneficial for him in the future. I can see that he is trying to get close to you, he just doesn’t know how to. My son lives with his foot in his mouth, he always says things without thinking and they almost always are not what he means.”

“And he’s an idiot,” Yurio added for good measure. 

“I guess I could tell him he’s being a shitty person to me, maybe that will keep him from making the same mistake in the future,” Yuuri concluded and started to chew on the inside of his cheek. 

“Maybe you can be friends,” Yakov suggested. Friends with Viktor had once sounded like a dream, he had wanted to hang out with him. To talk to him, but now he didn’t know if that would be a good idea. But for Mr. Feltsman’s sake, he agreed to at least try. They continued their meal and Yuuri had recommended they had their dessert somewhere else. He took them to his favorite ice cream place and then they took a stroll around a small park near the river. The days were slowly getting longer, so by the time they got to the part by the waterfront the sky was painted with pastel colors. Yuuri and Yurio walked behind Lilia and Yakov. They didn’t want to intrude more on their date, and at the same time wanted to enjoy their own ice cream in peace.

“My dad seems to think that Viktor has a crush on you or something,” Yurio said once they were a few feet away from the couple in front of them. Yuuri laughed and shook his head, it sounded ridiculous when Otabek said it and it still sounded the same now.

“What makes you think that?” Yuuri asked only because he was curious at the behavior Viktor could have possibly displayed to make Yakov land on such an impossible conclusion.

“The list is long, I just want you to know that Yakov thinks you’re a great person and likes you,” Yurio told him. His tone made Yuuri raised an eyebrow and look at the blond boy. “I just don’t want you to think that he’s only using you to get Viktor to come home.” He added.

If he was confused before, he was even more now. “What are you talking about?” Yuuri asked.

“I told him I was going to invite you, and he told me to invite Viktor too and to tell him you were coming. He thought that you coming with us would be an incentive for Viktor to show up tonight.” Yurio admitted. “I’m telling you this because I didn’t want you finding out later and thinking that were using you. That’s not true.”

It took him a while to take in everything Yurio had said. In the end, he didn’t know what issue to bring up first. He was glad Yurio was being honest with him, and he wished he could have been helpful. He liked both Yurio and Yakov if he could help them in any way he would.

“Sounds like his little plan didn’t work, I’m not mad if that the reason you sound so hesitant. I wished I could have helped though,” Yuuri reassured him. “But I just wished your dad would understand Viktor really doesn’t like me and tonight is a clear example. He didn’t show up.” In some way that fact made something inside of Yuuri burn.

“Well….” Yurio started and looked away towards the water.

“Well what?” Yuuri asked taking in Yurio’s expression. He was hiding something. “Yurio, what did you do?”

“I might have forgotten to tell Viktor you were coming,” He admitted. “I just know that you haven’t told anyone we’re hanging out. And I didn’t want you to be surprised when he walked in and I knew that if I told you beforehand you would find an excuse to not come.”

“Yuri, your dad was really looking forward to having dinner with both his sons tonight. Not that I think telling him I was coming would have helped but…if there was a chance he would have shown up even if it was just so he could be mean to me, you should have told him.” Yuuri told him. If he was helping, it didn’t matter what Viktor said to him.

Yurio stayed quiet for a few minutes and then turned to him. “Viktor can be a lot of things, but he’s not mean, he’s more annoying than anything. I don’t think he would deliberately be mean to anyone without any reason.” Yurio said and turned back to look at him. “I can agree with you on many things, he’s narcissistic and so full of himself. He’s annoying and so embarrassing, but he’s not mean. I’ve known him for a long time and he would never deliberately try to hurt someone, the worst he could probably do is annoy someone to death. When you talk about the things, he’s said to you, they don’t sound like something Viktor would say or do.” Yurio continued. 

Yurio’s words surprised him, mostly because it sounded like he was defending his brother. It was also the nicest thing Yuuri’s ever heard the blond say about Viktor in the short time they’ve known each other. The more the thought about it the more he wondered what Viktor’s reason for being mean to him was.

“You know, Viktor was not always like that either,” Yurio told him with a sigh.

“Like what?” Yuuri asked giving the blond beside him his full attention. Yurio talking about Viktor was rare, but in those moments Yuuri learned more about Viktor and Yurio as well. He was always ready to listen to whatever Yurio had to say. 

“Like he is now, happy all the time. He was a loser with no friends or anyone else to talk to but me. He would spend all this time at the house and would never go out, he would bug me all the time. Now he doesn’t even come home if it isn’t to see Makkachin,” Yurio said. There was anger in his voice again and a hint of bitterness. “He’s always talking about his friends and how cool they are, it’s annoying,” He added as he stabbed his spoon into his cup of ice cream.

“He abandoned you, didn’t he?” Yuuri asked. The blond boy beside him didn’t reply he only ate his green ice cream. He didn’t have to reply, Yuuri could see it was true. Had Viktor really been like Yurio was now, deprived of friendship aside from his family. It seemed hard to believe because of how friendly he was all the time to everyone, well, everyone that was not him. Maybe it was an act to get people to like him. He remembered when Minako had advised him to smile more, so people would find him friendly and approachable. It had been one of many things she had said when she dropped him off freshmen year.

“You have friends too,” Yuuri reminded him. He wanted to tell Yurio that it would help if he was a little friendlier and if he smiled more, but he didn’t need to change to get people to like him. Just like Yuuri didn’t need to either to get Phichit to adopt him as his best friend that first year.

“Otabek only talks to me in class, that’s it,” Yurio said bitterly.

“Well damn, and here I thought I was your friend,” Yuuri teased him and elbowed him lightly. Yurio laughed and moved to elbow him back but Yuuri was faster and moved out of the way. No, Yurio didn’t need to change who he was or put up a front to please others. He just needed to find someone who was willing to look past the hard exterior and see who he really was.

“I guess you are my friend too,” Yurio told him as he swirled his ice cream around.

“Gee, don’t sound so excited about it,” Yuuri laughed and put an arm around his friend. Ahead, Yakov and Lilia had stopped to talk by the rail and so they decided to take a seat on a bench nearby.

“If you become Viktor’s friend, will you still be my friend?” Yurio asked suddenly in almost a whisper. Yuuri turned to the younger boy with a confused look.

“Duh,” Yuuri replied and send him a smile, “You were my friend first,” He reminded him. The idea made Yurio smile and happily started to eat his ice cream again. He was going to be Yurio’s friend he was going to have to at least find common ground with Viktor. There was no point in burning bridges with him if he was going to have to see him. So, he decided to give being Viktor’s friend a chance. How bad could it be?

***

It was a little late when Yuuri returned to his room, Phichit was already in bed. He smiled when he remembered that Phichit had a lot of explaining to do. He hopped everything had worked out with him and Seung Gil. He went to bed, but sleep didn’t come to him as quickly as it did in other nights. Yurio’s words swirled around his head as he tried to make some sense of them. He wondered about many things, mostly the reason so many thought Viktor liked him when the opposite was very obvious. He didn’t know when sleep came to him, but he was woken up with the smell of coffee and Phichit’s humming.

“Did you get laid?” Yuuri joked and laughed as Phichit jumped up at the sound of his voice.

“Damn it Yuuri,” He hissed, “What are you talking about?” He asked.

“You’re humming, that means you’re happy,” Yuuri pointed out as he stretched.

“And that automatically means I got laid or something?” Phichit asked with a dry tone.

“No but Seung Gil shoving his tongue down your throat might suggest it,” He told him and then proceeded to take the mug from his friend’s hands. Phichit was frozen in place and didn’t even say a thing once Yuuri started to sip on his coffee. It was too sweet and he made a face.

“Y—You saw that?” Phichit asked and went to sit on his bed. His expression made Yuuri wonder if he was going to have to go beat Seung Gil up.

“What happened?” Yuuri asked getting up from his bed and took a seat next to his friend.

“He kissed me, and I kissed him back, then he ran away,” Phichit told him. “He kissed me Yuuri, can you believe it?” Phichit exclaimed.

“I can’t believe he ran away, damn asshole,” Yuuri mumbled and took another drink of coffee. “What are you going to do now, it’s obvious he likes you,” Yuuri asked.

“I don’t know, what should I do?” Phichti sighed covered his face with his hands and laid back on his bed. Yuuri smiled at his friend and laid back with him, they stared at the celling until he got an idea.

“Get up and get dressed,” Yuuri said and started to do just that as well.

“Why, where are we going?” Phichit asked but started to move towards the closet.

“You are going over, and you are going to talk to him,” Yuuri replied and threw him a shirt he knew Phichit would like.

“Woah hold on. I’m doing what now?” He asked as he barely caught the shirt.

“You can’t just lay here and wait for him to make a move anymore. He made his move, he kissed you. Now it’s your turn to make your move,” Yuuri told him and then went in search of pants for him.

“I guess you have a point,” Phichit mumbled, “But you’re going with me, I’m not going all the way over there all alone,” He argued. Yuuri argued back and tried to get himself out of it but it was a loss cause. He ended up walking across campus to the frat house that he’s not been at since Emil’s party. When they got close enough to see the house, they saw a lot of movement. Yuuri decided to shoot JJ a quick text to know if they could come over at all. JJ replied with a yes and told them they were simply doing their weekend clean up. That probably just meant someone was going to come by and check the condition of the house, so they had to make it look presentable.

That fact was clear when they walked in through the wide-open doors. The first familiar face they saw was that of Michele who was sweeping the living room area. He didn’t look happy about his chore. Next to him and bending down was Emil who was cleaning the tables and Tv stand. They both looked up and waved at them.

“Are you here to help?” Michele asked.

“Nope,” They both said and kept walking before Michele made them clean something. They found Leo and JJ in the kitchen, JJ was mopping, and Leo was cleaning the stovetop.

“I’ve never seen you guys so domestic before, I’m sure Isabella would be really happy to see this,” Phichit said and took a picture. JJ looked up with a dry look and went back to cleaning.

“Hey, have you seen you know who?” Yuuri asked Leo. The boy frowned and tilted his head.

“Who is ‘you know who’?” He started then looked around before leaning forward to whisper, “Viktor?”

“What no, Seung Gil,” Yuuri made a face and clarified.

“Oh, he should be upstairs. He got bathroom duty,” Leo smiled like he had won something. Yuuri elbowed his friend beside him and signaled towards the stairs.

“I can’t, what will I say anyways?” Phichit half whispered half exclaimed.

“Actions speak louder than words,” Yuuri told him and then pushed his friend towards the stairs. Phichit only moved a fraction and then turned to his friends.

“I hate you,” He told them but went up the stairs anyway.

“What was that about?” JJ asked. Yuuri looked back to see him leaning on the mop and watching Phichit go up the stairs and disappear into the second floor.

“He’s about to go get his man,” was all Yuuri told them and sat on the stool in the kitchen. “Go on, don’t let me distract you,” he added. That got him the finger from both boys.

Eventually he got dragged into the cleaning party and he started to help Leo take the bags of garbage to the dumpster. He could not understand how they could have so much garbage, but they did. He was returning from his third trip when he saw Chris in the kitchen, he was looking under the sink and had his back to him. At the sight of him he tried to go back where he came from but the screen door behind him shut loudly announcing his presence. Yuuri cursed his luck once more. Chris looked over his shoulder at him. If Yuuri rarely spoke to Viktor, he could not remember the last or first time he spoke to Chris.

“What are you doing here?” He asked surprised. His tone was not hostile, it was just a wondering question, but Yuuri could not help but feel slighted anyways. Maybe he was just used to everything coming out of Chris’s mouth to be an insult, so by default he felt insulted by anything he directed at him.

“Ah,” Yuuri started but didn’t know how to continue. What exactly was he doing there? “Helping?” Yuuri said with tilting his head.

Chris rose an eyebrow and looked at him up and down before standing up. “Really, why?” He asked while eyeing him carefully.

Yuuri shrugged and looked around hoping one of his friends would come into the kitchen and save him. No one heard him, because it was only Chris and himself in the kitchen staring at each other. The silence was probably worst than his words, Yuuri thought.

“Why do you hate me?” Yuuri found himself asking.

“Because you’re an asshole,” He replied with no hesitation. The suddenness of his reply made Yuuri step back. He didn’t really expect Chris to answer but he did.

“Oh,” Yuuri whispered and looked down at his hands, he already knew that. Viktor had been yelling it at him for as long as they have known each other. “That’s valid, I guess,” he told him. Chris had the right to think of him whatever he wanted and Yuuri had to accept that. It was after all not the first time he’s been called an asshole. He was an asshole, but always with a purpose and that purpose was almost always to tease and joke around. Maybe Chris didn’t know that.

“That’s all you’re going to say?” Chris asked and then huffed.

“Look, you don’t know me. I think that’s why you think I’m an asshole. I know I can be an ass sometimes, but it’s never with the intent to hurt anyone. I tease my friends and joke around with them and they know that whatever I say is only to get a reaction out of them. I’ve never had any ill intent towards you and well, I’m sorry if you ever felt like I insulted you in any way. But I can guarantee you that it was never my intention to hurt you.” Yuuri told him.

Chris looked at him warily but stayed silent. Before he could say anything else his savior came in the shape of Michele shoving another trash bag into his hands. Yuuri took it gladly and left the kitchen as fast as he could without actually running. His conversation with Chris got him thinking if Dr. Bin was right and this whole mess was all a big misunderstanding. It was the only clear reason for them being so hostile towards him, did he do something to Chris that made Chris and Viktor hate him? He tried for what felt like a thousandth time, to think of any encounter he’s had in the past with Chris, but they were scarce and equally as brief.

They were never explicitly introduced; Chris had always been the housemate his friends talked about. Even at parties they never said more than a few words and those were always welcome’s and goodbyes. That was as far as their interactions went, so it had to have been something he said that got to his ears. But thinking back to all the shit he’s unintentionally said about people was useless and all he could do now was maybe apologize. And that was if he was willing to accept it.

Yet it still didn’t excuse all the shitty things they had said to him. And if whatever he had said pissed him off so much why didn’t Chris just confront him instead of bullying him? Maybe it was hypocritical of him to think that way since he had done the same thing. Just thinking of the whole mess made his head hurt. When he returned Chris was gone but Leo was back in the kitchen, this time he was wiping down the windows.

“The bathroom door is closed,” Leo wiggled his eyebrows. Yuuri laughed and leaned on the counter.

“Hey Leo?” Yuuri asked. “Has Chris ever said anything as to why he hates me?”

Leo looked at him with a thinking expression and shook his head. “Now that I think about it, he rarely talks to us anymore. We used to talk all the time; he was very chatty with everyone in the house. Then when Viktor got here, he only spend time with him and now neither of them talk to us and we don’t try either honestly. It’s really fucked up what they are doing to you. Georgi and Seung Gil still talk to us though, it’s just Chris who stopped.” Leo told him.

“So, it all goes back to Viktor…again,” Yuuri mumbled and started to chew on the inside of his lip.

“Why do you ask?”

“Well, I’m going to graduate soon and I was thinking about what you said, about burying the hatchet or whatever,” Yuuri told him, “I just don’t know where to start, maybe I should just let it be and forget about it.”

“It’s never good to burn your bridges Yuuri, you could try and find out what cause them to dislike you,” Leo suggested.

“I did, Chris said he hates me because I’m an asshole,” Yuuri told him and crossed his arms.

“Aw man, that’s like your whole personality right there,” Leo joked.

“Fuck you Leo,” Yuuri said and shoved him a bit.

“Everyone is an asshole, he can’t be that sensitive,” Leo told him. Yuuri sighed and let his head fall back with his eyes closed. Maybe Chris was sensitive, just like Yuuri was towards anyone being an asshole to him. He had done something to both Chris and Victor that made them react negatively towards him. He shouldn’t be surprised that everything eventually turned out to be his fault, everything always was. Once more, he was the only one to blame for all his misfortunes.

From the living room, they heard cheering and both Leo and Yuuri looked at each other before running into the living room to see what was going on. It was JJ and Emil who were cheering at a blushing Phichit who was holding Seung Gil’s hand. They all started clapping and cheering more just to mess with them. From the corner of his eye, he saw Chris and Viktor walk down the stairs also to see what all the commotion was about. Yuuri took out his phone and took a picture to remember the day. Celebration underwent for the sole purpose of teasing Phichit and Seung Gil, it was Emil who brought two bottles of some cheap wine that was leftover and pour everyone in red cups.

“Chris said he spoke to you,” Yuuri heard Viktor say from beside him. He had moved to a far corner to try and stay out of the way as JJ started a game of darts for some reason. Cleaning had been long forgotten now and everyone had crowded in the living room.

“Yeah,” Yuuri replied as he sipped his wine from the red cup. “He called me an asshole,” He added. Viktor didn’t say anything and Yuuri turned to him only to find him already looking back.

“You can be,” He mumbled. “You’ve hurt me.” Yuuri took a deep breath and turned to look at him straight on, Viktor did the same.

“You’ve hurt me too Viktor,” Yuuri told him. It was not in his plans to ever tell Viktor all the things that he’s caused. What difference would it make in the end? Yet he found himself doing just that. “The things you and Chris say about me hurt, and I try so hard to stay away from you because it’s clear that my mere presence angers you. Yet you find a way to always be there and it’s frustrating. I’m having to avoid places I used to go just so I could avoid you. I’m tired of feeling like I need to hide, I hate having to walk on eggshells every time I see you.”

Yuuri looked away and waited for Viktor to say something about the things he had said. When no reply came, he looked up at the silver-haired boy next to him. Viktor glared at him, his lips in a thin line.

“You have hurt me too; you started all this. And it’s frustrating how you make it sound like you’re the victim here,” Viktor said. “Every insult you’ve said, every whisper, how you put people against me. It all hurts Yuuri, I don’t know what I did to you to deserve you hate me so much. All I’ve ever done is try to know you and understand why you do and say the things you do. Everyone I talk to says you are this kind and great person, but all I’ve ever received from you is insults.”

“I started this, oh no Viktor. It was you who insulted me first without even knowing me. You were the one who put people against me, the one who sought me out just so you could point out something that was wrong with me, as if I don’t already know it.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “You say I’m not the victim, but you have made me suffer so much and I hate you so much for it!” Yuuri exclaimed and pushed passed him to head towards the door. He felt a ping of Déjà vu, only this time Viktor grabbed his arms and pulled him back not letting him go.

“Yuuri,” He whispered, it was a plea, for what he didn’t know. “I only started fighting back when I felt that what you were saying about me was unfair. You have always been so unfair to me.”

“I’ve never said anything unfair about you, I don’t know what you are talking about Viktor. You can ask any of my friends, I have never once insulted you, so I don’t know what you are talking about.” Yuuri pulled his arm back from Viktor’s grasp and frowned at him.

“The whispers, the comments, what were those Yuuri. Every time I turned to see you, all I saw was you and Phichit whispering and then laughing at me. You would stare at me and then pretend I didn’t exist,” Viktor told him with earnest. “And then your friends would do the same too, they would look at me and then burst out laughing, and I would hear them whisper to themselves about things you would say about me. You said you didn’t know me, even after what happened the night we met at Chris’s party. So, how do you respond to that?” Viktor exclaimed this time. Yuuri had now become aware of the silence that surrounded him. He could feel the eyes of those around them. He fell silent as he tried to take in everything that Viktor had just yelled at him. None of it made any sense.

“Chris’s party?” Yuuri asked confused. “What party?” Viktor’s eyes narrowed; anger filled his face.

“Are you making fun of me now?” Viktor asked. He took one step forward, Yuuri wanted to move back but he couldn’t. He was frozen in the ground he stood, his eyes on Viktor, trying to decipher what the other man was saying. “The back to class party Chris threw in September, does that ring a bell,” Viktor asked sarcastically.

I did ring a bell, it rang a horrible bell because that was the day he promised himself never to get drunk again. Everyone had actually vowed never to drink that much again as well. They all blamed the very good, but very strong vodka they were drinking all night. They had been so drunk they all crashed in Emil and Michele’s room and woke up with no real recollection of what transpired the night before. Yuuri had believed he couldn’t have done anything too bad if nothing resurfaced in the days that followed. There were no compromising photos of him or any of his friends, and no one ever spoke of anything embarrassing they could have done.

Leo and Guang Hong had reassured them they hadn’t done anything they could be ashamed of, but Yuuri took whatever they said with a grain of salt. Guang Hong would never tell him something that could trigger his anxiety and those two also had the tendency of running off on their own. If anything had happened, they were the worst people to ask. Yet, after a week of worrying went by and nothing happened, he settled that everything had gone without a hitch and he could live his life without any fear. He had been wrong apparently. Now he looked at Viktor who still looked at him angrily and Yuuri never wanted more than the ground to open up and drag him down than he did at that moment.

“Oh god,” Was all that came out of his mouth, he looked around trying to find an answer among his friends who looked at him searching for the same thing. “Viktor…” he started but couldn’t finish, he had no idea what to say. How to start and explain that he didn’t remember anything he could have said to him. It probably had been something very bad if he was reacting like that.

“You remember now, Yuuri. Are you done playing your games?” Viktor asked. From the corner of his eye, Yuuri could see Chris stepping closer.

“Viktor, I don’t know that you’re talking about,” Yuuri told him, Viktor shook his head and opened his mouth to say something but Yuuri stopped him continuing. “I don’t remember, I got really drink that night and I have no memory of anything that happened. I don’t remember ever meeting you that night,” He admitted.

Viktor stared at him with eyes growing wide, Yuuri saw Chris freeze in place as well. A long pause later Viktor spoke up again. “You’re lying, you have to be,” Viktor pleaded. 

“He’s not, Viktor. We all got pretty drunk that night, only a few of us didn’t drink,” Phichit stepped up and turned to JJ and Leo who were standing across from him.

“Well, Isabella and I left early. She wasn’t feeling well, so I walked her home and then went to the pharmacy to buy her some medicine. When I returned you were all gone, so I just went to bed,” JJ retold what he had done that night. They all knew this; they had interrogated him when they got over their hangover.

“You,” Phichit suddenly exclaimed pointing a finger at Leo who looked at him with wide eyes. “You said nothing bad or embarrassing happened that night.” Leo looked ready to flee but swallowed hard and shook his head.

“I didn’t see anything,” He said adverting his gaze. He was the worst liar Yuuri had ever met. Phichit started marching over to him but Seung Gil caught him by the arm and kept him in place. Leo found cover behind Emil and looked up at them with a guilty expression.

“Fine, Guang Hong and I left. We didn’t see anything, when we came back, you were all a mess. We saw Emil and Michele with their shirts off dancing on top of a table. We thought it would be better to take them to their room, Sara followed and since we couldn’t find Isabella or JJ, we thought it was better to let her sleep in Michele’s room. We didn’t want to make him angry at us for not taking care of his sister too.” Leo started and stepped out from his hiding spot. “We found Phichit standing in a corner stalking Seung Gil and thought it would not be good to leave him and risk him making a fool out of himself…again. We tried looking for Yuuri but we couldn’t find him, so Guang Hong took Phichit to the room while I looked for Yuuri hoping that he could take Phichit back to the dorms. But when I found Yuuri he was standing in the middle of the room not moving, his jacket was gone, his shirt was wet and his hair a mess. When I approached him, it was clear he was just as drunk as everyone else. I tried to move him, but he wouldn’t leave, he kept saying that he was waiting for someone, that he promised to wait for them right there. I figured he was probably talking about Phichit. I told him I knew where he was, and he followed. Once in the room, you all piled on top of the bed and fell asleep.”

They all stared at Leo with a burning glare, and Leo sent them a pleading look before backing up. Yuuri sighed closing his eyes briefly and turned to Viktor who was staring at him, his expression was free of that anger he had earlier, but it was replaced by confusion.

“You really don’t….you don’t remember anything.” It was not a question but a statement. Viktor looked down, Yuuri could see him biting his lip hard and his hands ball up into fists. Before Yuuri could even try and apologize, Viktor’s face turned red, something that Yuuri was yet to see. Viktor looked anywhere but at Yuuri and became nervous.

“Wha…” Yuuri started but was not able to finish before Viktor bolted out of the room and up the stairs leaving them all looking out after him. Chris was the next to move running after him. They heard his calling out and then the sound of a door closing loudly.

An awkward silence followed that made Yuuri run away as well. He was halfway down the steps when Phichit called out to him.

“Yuuri wait up,” He yelled after him. Yuuri turned and threw his arms in the air not fully understanding what happened. “That was probably the best thing that could have happen, honestly. Maybe now that knucklehead will see the pain, he’s caused you,” Phichit told him and pulled him into a hug. “This whole thing is just one big misunderstanding; it’s making my head hurt just thinking about it. What happened at Chris’s party anyway?”

“Chris’s party?” Yuuri asked and thought back trying to remember anything after he arrived at the party, everything blended together, and he couldn’t find a single memory where Viktor was present. “I don’t even remember meeting him until classes started, and he never actually talked to me until he called me a piece of shit in the cafeteria.” He reminded his friend.

Phichit nodded while deep in thought. “Then we are missing something,”

“It doesn’t matter,” Yuuri told him as they walked towards their dorm.

“Maybe it does, that could be the missing piece we need to understand why Viktor was so affected by all those things he confronted you about. I mean why else would a little whispering matter under normal circumstances?” Phichit asked. Yuuri had to admit that he was a little curious, but above all, he was mortified at what he could have possibly said to him at Chris’s party. He was an idiot and clearly had not been thinking, he had done something that made Viktor, who according to Yurio didn’t have a single mean bone in his body, hate him. Part of him was scared of knowing what his stupid drink self could have done, the other part was curious and desperate to put an end to it all.

Luckily, he had an excuse to not think about it. Next week he would be too focused on midterms to worry about the shit show his life was turning into. Maybe Yurio will find something funny in the situation because so far, it was only giving Yuuri anxiety.


	11. He who hesitates

Yuuri flipped closed the last page of the test in front of him. He felt relief at the sight of a full scantron in front of him and of the fact he could leave before a certain silver-haired boy who sat in the front. He didn’t even bother looking through his answers again, while he was not fully confident in his test answers another look would only make him second guess the entirely of his answers and that would do him no good. He put his yellow pencil back into his pouch and gathered his things before standing up. He passed Viktor’s seat trying to look at him and placed his scantron and test packet on top of Professor Baranovskaya’s desk. She gave him a nod before reaching out for the test.

He was out the door as fast as he could and took out his phone. He had made plans with Yurio to meet up and look at Professor Lambert’s grading post together to see what he had gotten on his own test. They would be meeting up off-campus to have lunch together. If anyone asked, he was going to lunch with Yurio because Mr. Feltsman had an important meeting that would be going through lunch and he wanted to keep Yurio company. Not because now that Phichit and Seung Gil were exclusive, his friends and Seung Gil’s friends would be sitting together. The fact had been bestowed upon him by Phichit himself. He did want to avoid Viktor at all costs, at least until he fully understood how to feel about the recent revelations. 

He had told Yurio about what had happened, Yurio however, hadn’t said much about it other than reminding his how dense Viktor was and how stupid they were both being. Yuuri had thought Yurio would make a big deal about it, but the topic had not come up again. Instead, they talked about graduation and their summer plans.

Yuuri had been able to also meet Yurio’s grandfather though a video chat a few days ago. Yurio had insisted on introducing them and Yuuri was happy to oblige. Mr. Plisetsky looked mean but was the softest grandpa he’s ever met and Yuuri could tell that he too missed Yurio, very much so. Yuuri made sure to tell him how hardworking his grandson was. They also had a comfortable conversation about the art of making Pirozhki and they had agreed to send him pictures of their creation when they came around to making it.

In exchange, Yurio had gone on a long rant on how good Katsudon was. He only ever understood half the conversation since Yurio had a habit of reverting back to Russian every now and then. Mr. Plisetsky’s English was ok, not great but Yuuri could understand him. But he had the same habit of switching back and forth, Yurio’s only response to that was for Yuuri to learn Russian. That lead to a brief and not very productive Russian lesson from them that had Yuuri laughing more than actually learning the language. As payback he made them learn a few phrases in Japanese. It had been a nice chat, and it made Yurio very happy, so it was a win for everyone. 

“So, you are going to Japan in the summer?” Yurio asked once they were seated and looking through the menu. They had chosen a small sub shop that had a very retro look to it that Yuuri really liked and Yurio liked to criticize.

“That’s the plan, I haven’t bought the plane ticket or anything. There is just so much to do, and I don’t want to leave everything to Phichit,” Yuuri told him. It was not a lie per se, they had not yet found a suitable apartment, and Yuuri was still not sure if he would get the job he wanted. He had gone to his interview a few days ago and while he felt confident, he gave it his all, he was not sure it would be enough. He worried that he would not have a place to stay or a job after he graduated. Regardless, he and Phichit were actively looking for places that not only fit their budget but their love for animals as well.

“No luck with apartment hunting?” The blond asked looking up from the menu.

“Not many places in our price range allows animals, it’s a sad world we live in. We might have to pick a place that doesn’t allow pets,” Yuuri told him mournfully. The sole idea of living his life without a pet made him incredibly sad, especially since he’s gotten so used to having Makkachin around. 

“The horror,” Yurio stated in a dry tone, “I’m sure you’ll survive, you have so far,” Yurio said with an eye roll. Yuuri could not agree with him, but he didn’t argue.

They ate their food while talking about random things, like Yurio’s dancing class and how the rest of his classes were going. Yuuri’s phone was flooding with text from his friends asking him where he was, he had let Phichit know that he would probably not be able to join them for lunch. It had been as he was walking out the door that morning and didn’t let Phichit to say anything before closing the door. Yuuri was sure Phichit would eventually understand his reasons for skipping out on having lunch with them.

“Okabek invited me to that party Viktor’s friend is throwing on Friday,” Yurio said suddenly. Yuuri rose an eyebrow at him and waited for him to continue. “As friends Katsudon,” Yurio clarified almost too quickly.

“Sure,” Yuuri stated and leaned forward. “And are you going?”

“I told him I would think about it, I don’t like going to parties,” He admitted. “I used to go with Viktor…well, Yakov used to make him take me. They always sucked,” He added.

“Well this time you are not going with Viktor, you’re going with Otabek and I’ll be there too. We’ll have so much fun,” Yuuri told him excitingly.

Yurio didn’t look convinced but Yuuri was sure he could use the next two days to convince him. He was not particularly looking forward to another party, but if Yurio was going that could be a nice change to their routine.

They went for some ice cream after they finished eating and then sat on the same bench as the last time. Yuuri waited as Yurio logged into his class online grade page to see his scores. Yuuri knew that even if he didn’t ace the test, he would get enough points to get a passing grade. Plus, he had done some extra credit work, that would bump up his final grade. He was not worried, but the silence that encircled them made his nervous. He looked over at the blond next to him to see him staring down at his phone with a frown.

“Is it bad?” Yuuri asked. And looked over to his phone in his hands. As he looked down, he saw that he was not even on the class page. “Yurio?”

“Are you guys…” Yurio trailed off and tighten the grip on his phone. “Why are you my friend…are you my friend?” He asked not looking up.

“Of course, I’m your friend, why do you ask?” Yuuri asked. He tried to look over his hand to try and figure out why their conversation had gone that direction.

“Are you just using me to get close to Viktor?” Yurio asked but didn’t turn to look at him.

“Why the hell would I want to be close to Viktor, you know I wanted to be as far away from him as possible,” Yuuri said. Yurio shoved his phone at him and Yuuri took it. He looked down at the page he was looking at it was one of the school’s forums, specifically that stupid blog that was doing all the gossiping lately. “I didn’t take you for a gossip fan,” Yuuri teased.

“Just read it,” He told him in a harsh voice. He scrolled up to the top of the post Yurio had been reading. The title told him everything he needed to know.

**\--Secret love affair between rivals: Everything you need to know about what is really going on between The Viktor/Yuuri Feud and what it all means. –**

The main picture was a comparison picture between what Yuuri had been wearing in the selfie he took before the party and what he was wearing in the last group picture he was in, right as he left the party. In a small circle was the picture Mila had posted when they were about to leave to their camping trip a red circle highlighted the blue shirt Viktor had on. He didn’t even bother reading the rest of the post, he handed the phone back to Yurio and sighed.

“Is it true, are you two in a secret relationship?” Yurio asked.

“Does it look like I’m in a secret relationship with Viktor, Yuri?” He asked. He could almost laugh at the idea, but he didn’t think Yurio would appreciate him laughing. “There is a perfectly complicated explanation as to why I’m wearing his shirt, and I don’t really feel like talking about it. Let just leave it at the fact he didn’t want to give me my shirt back,” he added. Yurio didn’t say a word back and that made Yuuri curious.

“What does any of this have to do with me being your friend?” Yuuri questioned thinking back at his first words. Yurio remained silent. “Have people tried to become your friend to get close to Viktor?” He asked. His silence told Yuuri everything he needed to know, and he felt bad for him. It was another thing that added to the multiple things that made Yurio have a grudge against his brother.

“Viktor had nothing to do with me becoming your friend Yuri, in fact, the only reason I agreed to tutor you was because Yakov reassured me that Viktor rarely, if ever, came around your house. Had it been different, I would have never agreed. I didn’t want to be anywhere near him, and the fact you didn’t like him or idolized him like everyone else made my own feelings against him feel validated.” He admitted. “I realized that maybe our dislike for each other started though a series of misunderstandings, but the harm had been done.”

“I believe you,” Yurio said after another long silence. Yuuri was not too convinced by the tone Yurio took but he let it go. He gave him a long stare before sighing and putting an arm around him.

“Good, because it’s the truth. You’re my friend Yurio and that is a fact. Viktor and I are not friends, although, I guess I could try,” He admitted.

“Will you be my friend, even if you and Viktor become friends?” Yurio asked in a low voice. His question caught Yuuri by surprise.

“Yuri, we’ve talked about this. Obviously, I’ll be your friend for as long as you want to be my friend,” Yuuri told him, he squeezed Yurio’s shoulder and dropped his hold on him.

Yurio smiled and then took out his phone again this time actually going to the right page. He received a 95 on his midterm and they celebrated by doing a little dance in their seats. Yuuri was glad no one was around to see that.

“So, are you going to tell me why you were looking at a gossip blog?” Yuuri asked in a teasing tone.

“I don’t know, are you going to tell me why you were shirtless with Viktor?” Yurio teased back.

“Touché,” Yuuri mumbled. They walked to the car they had once more “borrowed” from Viktor. This time, Yuuri drove them back as Yurio showed him his playlist. They were singing when his phone continued to go off, so far everyone in his contacts had been trying to contact him. They were going up the hill to Yurio’s house when Phichit called again. This time he left a voicemail that Yurio wanted to hear. Once they had the car parked Yuuri opened it up and wonder what his friend might want.

“Yuuri where are you, why are you not answering? Everyone is worried, are you okay, do you need me there? Please answer, we all saw that stupid post. Viktor feels very guilty for some reason. Where are you? Please just message me back, I need to know you’re okay.” His friend sounded concerned and it had not occurred to him that the blog post must have been seen by everyone on campus. He groaned loudly and faceplanted into the steering wheel.

“How can I show my face to the world now?” He wailed. He was doomed, everyone would be looking and talking about him now. 

“Yeah dude, your life sucks right now,” Yurio told him with a chuckle.

“Thanks, _friend_ ,” Yuuri sneered. The blond gave him his most innocent looking smile. Yuuri only glared and covered his face with his hands.

“Hey, just act like it doesn’t affect you. What the hag who wrote this wants is a reaction from you, so don’t give it to them. You didn’t do anything wrong so why should you have to worry about it. You know that those are only lies and speculations, so don’t act like you are hiding some big secret,” Yurio told him and gave his arm a pat. “Just live life as normal,” He added.

“That is actually sound advice,” Yuuri told his friend and then reached out to ruffle his hair. “When did you get so wise?”

“Fuck off,” he exclaimed and pushed him off. “I’m going over to my dad’s office, want me to walk you to your dorm?”

Yuuri looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “You want to be seen with me…in public?”

“Why not, we’re friends right?” He asked, “Why should we hide?” Yuuri smiled and unbuckled his belt, Yurio did the same and got out. They had bought food for Yakov and Yurio was going to deliver it to him. It was a cold sandwich; he had been glad they decided to get him a cold lunch instead of something hot. His meeting was still going on, and they hoped that by going to eat some ice cream they would make time for the meeting to end.

He decided it would be best to text Phichit back. He didn’t need his best friend to panic any more than he probably already was.

**Yuuri: I’m fine? Why is everyone blowing up my phone? I told you I was not going to make it to lunch today.**

He took Yurio’s idea of not letting it become a big deal. If he let it become an issue, he would only drag himself into an anxiety attack and he didn’t want that. He just had to breathe through it, after all, like every piece of gossip it would run its course and eventually become old news. By the end of the week, no one would remember what the post said, and they would all be moving on to the next big thing. He knew how gossip flowed in his school and that was the only consolation he could find.

“Are you going to be able to hold it together?” Yurio asked. They were now turning into the courtyard. Yurio was eyeing him as they walked.

“Yeah, I have nothing to hide. Those pictures are only circumstantial,” He said casually, as casually as he could sound when his whole life was falling apart.

“Oh, okay,” Yurio laughed and shook his head. “Hopefully Viktor doesn’t make a big deal about this either, but knowing him,” Yurio made a face.

“Loving the positive reinforcement here, Yurio,” Yuuri told him with a forced smile. His phone vibrated again with a message from Phichit.

**Phichit: Have you not seen the post yet? We were looking for you everywhere. Where are you?”**

“And now people are staring, have you always been this popular, or is it just because your whoring has been outed?” Yurio joked. Yuuri shoved him and glared at him. Yurio only laughed and put his hands up in surrender.

“You suck,” Yuuri told him.

“Stop being a baby,” Yurio told him. They started to walk towards the main administrative building. “It’s only a little staring, just flip them off,” He added. Yuuri was glad the other boy didn’t actually flip people off as they walked around the courtyard towards the main office. 

“Why does everything have to go wrong, what have I done to deserve this?” Yuuri asked with a pout. So far, the last two parties he’s been to have had disastrous outcomes, maybe that was a sign for him to stop going to them. Now he just had to make Phichit see that and hopefully, he didn’t have to go to the one on Friday.

“Please stop whining, you’re starting to sound a lot like Viktor,” Yurio told him.

“Oh great, I’m turning into Viktor now,” Yuuri said jokingly. He saw Yurio visibly shiver and that made him laugh.

“Just act like you don’t care, shrug it off and move on. It’s simple, your good at avoiding topics,” Yurio told him with a little too much aggression.

“Says you,” Yuuri mumbled. “When are we going to talk about Otabek.”

“Fuck off,” was all Yurio said but he could see the hint of pink on his cheeks. Yuuri laughed again. When they arrived at the building Yurio flipped him off and told him to stop whining.

Instead of going back to his dorm room where he knew that Phichit might be waiting to corner him, he walked over to the music building to hide. It was the last place anyone would think of looking and he could try and calm his nerves down. The music wing was composed of three buildings, two of which held large auditoriums that were open and almost always empty. He found himself inside one of them, all lights were off except one spotlight and on stage sitting on the piano was the familiar figure of his friend JJ. When the heavy door closed behind him, JJ looked up from his seat music coming to a stop.

“Whose there?” He called out. From where he stood, Yuuri could see him squinting trying to make out the figure at the door. “This is a private rehearsal,” He said.

“It’s just me,” Yuuri called back and started to walk down the long aisle towards the stage. He half expected to see Leo and Guang Hong sitting in the front, but the room was empty except for them.

“Oh Yuuri,” He said surprised. “Phichit has been looking for you like crazy, did you read the blog post yet?” He asked. Yuuri let out a loud sight and instead went over to the steps and walked up to the stage. It was brighter up there and Yuuri had to squint a bit until his eyes adjusted. Looking out into the sea of seats, he could hardly make out anything but shadows and the bright green exit signs. On stage, everything was bare except for the black piano that was currently being occupied by JJ.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” JJ said and moved aside so Yuuri could sit next to him. “How are you doing?”

“I’m hiding,” Yuuri admitted as he took a seat beside JJ looking in the opposite direction. He slumped down letting his shoulders and head drop.

“From what…from who?” JJ asked. Yuuri didn’t say anything because he didn’t quite know the answer himself. “So, do you want to talk about what happened last time with Viktor?”

“I wished I could, that I knew what happened at least. I tried really hard to remember something, anything that could give me at least some indication of what happened. I just don’t remember,” Yuuri admitted and buried his face in his hands he felt frustration creeping upon him. “It had to have been something bad, really really bad, right?” He felt a hand on his shoulder and it only made his sink deeper into himself.

“Yuuri, I know drunk you. And drunk Yuuri is not mean or rude, maybe a little stupid, but we all are,” JJ let him know. “I think the best thing you can do is ask Viktor directly. None of us know what happened, only he does and he’s the only one who can clear all this up once and for all.” JJ told him sincerely.

Yuuri stayed silent, he knew that already. He knew that he and Viktor had a pending conversation, but he was scared of what he would find out. Scared to learn that he had done something horrible to Viktor, something so bad that it led to Viktor being horrible to him in return. Viktor, who according to his brother was not a mean person, had a reason to do what he did and Yuuri didn’t feel ready to hear it.

“It’ll do you good to learn his reason. At least now he’ll stop being an asshole to you. That is all that really matters,” JJ continued. “Have…have you talked to Dr. Bin about his?” he asked after a long pause.

Yuuri could only nod, he saw JJ relax more beside him. “He said I should start taking anti-depressants again,” He admitted as he stared down at his hands that were still stained with lead from the sketch, he had done earlier that day. JJ stayed quiet for a few seconds before turning his body, so he was looking directly at him.

“Are you taking them?” He asked. Yuuri stayed quiet again, he felt shame filling him up. Not because he had to take the medication, but he wasn’t, and that he had to admit that to JJ of all people. “Yuuri, I….I know it’s hard, but it’s for your own good. Sometimes we need a little help to feel better and there is no shame in that.” He told him. JJ put a hand on his arm and squeezed it gently. “At least that is what a little freshman told me once,” he added with a smile. 

“Sorry,” Yuuri whispered. He was a hypocrite; he couldn’t even take his own advice. Advice that was given in what felt like so many years ago, back when he was still trying to find himself in a whole new world. He met JJ thanks to Phichit, but they became friends because of their shared Psychiatrist. It was outside Dr. Bin’s office where they really got to know each other, it was in the waiting room where Yuuri and JJ found solace in each other, all those years ago. 

“You have nothing to apologize for, who am I to judge you,” JJ told him. There was a long silence before JJ went back to playing the piano. Yuuri recognized the song and instantly chuckled to himself, JJ smiled as he continued to play his song.

“You know, you’re the first person I know that has a theme song,” Yuuri told him. JJ started to sing and Yuuri could only laugh and hum along. He listened to his friend and realized the lyrics of the song were very motivating. Yuuri could only wish he could have half the confidence the song talked about.

“I figured there was no better person to write a song about me than me, I needed something to motivate me and this is just it,” JJ replied as his song came to a closing. “I hope it could motivate others as well, plus Isabella likes it and that’s all that really matters,” He added. 

“Are you practicing for the exhibition event?” Yuuri asked.

“Yeah, I’m the closing act,” He said. Yuuri caught an unusual tone in his voice that made his raise an eyebrow. “Usually those things don’t make me nervous anymore but…” He continued but trailed off, his hands falling to his lap.

“It feels like a bigger deal than usual.” Yuuri ended his sentence. He could relate, what should be just another event didn’t feel like just another. It was different for many reasons and one of those was because it was the last one. He knew that in reality it hardly meant anything, both he and JJ have had bigger events that they pushed through in the past. Yet the fact that this exhibition was the last in their college career felt so bittersweet.

“Exactly, my parents are coming. My teachers won’t stop talking about it, it feels like everyone’s eyes are on me,” JJ took a deep breath and turned to Yuuri. “I’m not the only one who feels this way right?” Yuuri shook his head.

“I haven’t started my exhibition piece,” He admitted. His friend let out a surprised gasp but only stared at him waiting for him to continue. “I don’t feel ready.”

“To start?” JJ asked. His eyebrows pulled together in a frown.

“To end,” Yuuri said. “I’m not ready for all this to end, I thought I was, but I’m not. I don’t know who I am outside of this space. I don’t know who I’ll be when I leave, and I’m…I’m scared.”

“You’ll be Yuuri, a changed Yuuri. A different you than the one who first arrived, just like all of us. We’ve all changed, we’ve grown and persevered through all the tough obstacles we’ve found along the way. And when all this is over, we’ll continue to change and become better versions of ourselves.” JJ told him confidence oozing from him. Yuuri looked at him blinking a couple of times as he took in his words.

“Have you been talking to Dr. Bin?” Yuuri asked. Because that sounded like something he would say.

“Yep,” JJ said and did a half-turn so he was facing him. “And he said that in times when things feel like they are going to hell, to simply think of all the good things in my life. So, I think of my music, of Isabella and my friends. I think of the future and what it could bring, of someday having the world hearing my songs and…I don’t know…maybe one day getting married and starting a family. I know it’s easy to just let all the bad drag you down, and somedays the good things feel impossible, but I don’t let that stop me from imagining the good stuff too.”

Yuuri rarely thought of the future, not because he was the type who liked to live in the moment like Phichit, but because it terrified him. JJ was right, it was easy to just let all the bad in. To dig himself a pit of misery and just push himself into it. Thinking of the future only opened more things he had buried away, and he knew that in order to move on there was a pending conversation that he didn’t want to have, one that should have happened a long time ago.

“That’s why I don’t like Viktor,” JJ said in a low voice. Yuuri’s head snapped in his direction. “You were doing so well, we both were. Then he came and ruined everything, he made you sad, he made you doubt yourself again.” Yuuri thought about it and shook his head. His current state had very little to do with Viktor, all the things he said whether he meant them or not did hurt, sure, but it was all very insignificance when Yuuri looked at the bigger picture.

“He’s not the reason,” Yuuri his friend. “It sounds so stupid, but it’s not even about graduating either. It’s about moving on; it’s about going back home.” He admitted. He bit down on his lip hard.

“Phichit mentioned something about that, do you really not want to go back?” JJ asked and Yuuri stayed silent. “Is it because of those who bullied you?” he added when.

Yuuri shook his head. “No,” He sighed. JJ sat patiently waiting for him to continue, he was not like Phichit who pushed him to open up. JJ knew it was hard to open up, he had firsthand experience. He could come out as being a little arrogant, annoying at times when he wanted to be, and he didn’t have a filter most of the time. But he was aware of people’s personal boundaries, something Yuuri couldn’t say about his other friends. Yuuri knew that JJ would not pressure him into speaking and that alone made him want to open up. Knowing that there were no expectations and that JJ would take whatever Yuuri was able to give him.

“I’m scared of seeing my parents again,” He told him in a whisper like it was a secret. He turned to him; JJ wore a curious expression but didn’t push past his reply. “Can we talk about something else.”

“Of course, how about the whole blog post,” JJ quickly changed the subject. That was not necessary that change of subject he was looking for.

“So, the reason I don’t want to see my family is because….” Yuuri started and trailed off while sending him a glare, JJ suddenly started to laugh.

“Okay, I get it. How about your ideas for that painting you're procrastinating on,” JJ moved on. Yuuri simply rolls his eyes. “Wow, so it seems like most subjects are touchy for you. What should we talk about then?”

Yuuri looked at him and thought about it, he decided that JJ was correct a lot of things were a touchy subject at the moment. “I don’t know, the weather’s been nice,” He said with a shrug. JJ huffed and shook his head.

“Oh yeah, I’ve been really digging those cloud formations lately,” He told him dryly. Yuuri chuckled and JJ went back to practicing his song. The piano melody made his song sound much more emotional than with all their other instrument. There was nothing fancy to it, it was just JJ and his piano. Yuuri moved from his spot next to JJ and sat down on the stage floor instead, he's back to the seats and the bright lights. He took out his sketch pad and started to sketch a few things that came to his mind, none of them felt enough to him. None of them felt worthy of being the last piece he would showcase as a student.

“It’s better to take life one step at the time, Yuuri. Instead of looking towards the final battle, why don’t you focus on the little battles we still have to get through,” JJ told him as he continued to play.

“You’ve been playing too many video games,” Yuuri commented as he finished his small sketch of JJ sitting at the piano, he knew Isabella would like it. “What does that even mean?”

“Stop worrying about what comes after graduation, when were not even done yet,” JJ said and closed the piano cover. “We still have assignments to do, finals to get ready for, and a whole lot of drama to live thought.” JJ stood up, walked over to Yuuri, and offered him a hand. “It’s time you man up and go talk to Viktor, this has gone on for too long.” Yuuri’s eyes narrowed as he looked up at his friend.

“You just want to know what happened at Chris’s party,” Yuuri accused. 

JJ tried to keep up an innocent expression, but he broke after a couple of seconds. “It’s driving us crazy Yuuri,” he exploded. “We have no idea what you could have possibly done to Viktor. We all have theories and I’m sorry Yuuri but I’m not a patient person. I don’t want to wait forever to find out and knowing you, we might have to.”

“You have theories?” Yuuri asked surprised. Stood up and dusted himself up as JJ gave him a guilty look.

“Phichit thinks that you might have said something about his stupid hair,” He said throwing their friend under the bus.

“Viktor’s hair is not stupid,” Yuuri found himself saying out loud. Luckily JJ didn’t comment on it.

“It’s gray, I mean, how stress does one have to get for your hair to turn gray while in your twenties?” JJ asked.

“It’s not gray, it’s silver,” Yuuri argued with a smile. He backed his bag back up and followed JJ down the steps. “And you shouldn’t say those things about him if I do remember correctly, he did say that you were saying mean things about him too. Do you remember what you were whispering about him?”

JJ sent him a nonchalant shrug. “Probably something about his stupid hair, or your massive crush on him who knows. I don’t remember all the things I whisper about, do you?” Yuuri glared at him but ultimately shook his head. “I’ll admit, however, I do say a lot of crap. So, if he wants to come at me next, just send him my way. I ain’t scared of him.”

“You’re horrible JJ,” Yuuri told him. They were now in the hallway; their eyes took a few seconds to adjust to the bright fluorescent lights.

“Just talk to him Yuuri, you’re killing us with the suspense,” He said once they started to move again.

He didn’t know much about the reasons Viktor had for doing the things he did. He’s tried in vain to figure out where he could have gone wrong, Yuuri was sure that before that day in the cafeteria they had never spoken. Now, he knew how wrong he was about that, however, he didn’t know actually happened the day they did meet for the first time. And it was something in that forgotten exchange that caused Viktor to act the way he did. He tried to pretend it didn’t matter. He tried to make himself believe that what was done was done, and it was only moving forward from that point. Yet not knowing where he had gone wrong was still eating at him and apparently his friends shared the same sentiment. It was almost like the feeling he got every time he thought back to his younger years and how he ran away from his home, never figuring out why his peers had been so mean to him.

He didn’t want to think back and always wonder what he did to cause such a reaction from someone that everyone said was so kind. He felt fear, how could he not when something he did was the reason for so much pain. It seemed almost wrong to do what others have done to him. And while he was not the only one to blame, he held a good chunk of it.

There were moments were Viktor was kind to him and moments where that changed drastically, Yuuri still didn’t know much about him, if anything really. But now it felt like he needed to meet Viktor all over again, the way he saw Viktor was tinted with all the bad that he had done to him, and he knew now that Viktor was so much more. All that could be easy, but the missing pieces in his mind made it almost impossible to move on.

His friends had told him, almost every single one of them told him to talk to Viktor. To just figure out their differences and work them out. He didn’t listen, whether it was because he was scared or just from his own pettiness, he continued to fight and argue with Viktor instead. All that had to end, there needed to be closure, he needed to understand, or it would haunt at him for the rest of his life. He couldn’t make that same mistake again, not with Viktor. Not when he was working in starting a new life where he didn’t let others judge and hurt hi

“Fine, I’ll talk to Viktor,” Yuuri found himself say. JJ stopped moving and turned to look at him with a surprised look on his face. Clearly, JJ was not expecting him to agree to it and Yuuri found himself being surprised too. “Do you know where he is right now?” He asked.

He was going to do it, and what better time than the future to get something done.

“Like right now, right now?” JJ asked alarmed. “Oh boy,” He mumbled under his breath and took out his phone and started typing.

Yuuri waited patiently as JJ tried to locate Viktor with his contacts. He texted everyone who lived with him, and after five long minutes, Emil replied by telling him that he had not seen Viktor leave the house after he arrived a few hours ago. With their new knowledge, they made their way towards the fraternity’s house.

“Are you sure about this?’ JJ asked him as they got closer.

“Are you going to talk me out of this?” Yuuri asked. Beside him, JJ shook his head. “Then be quiet, I’m already second-guessing my self enough,” He admitted.

How bad could it be, honestly? He probably really did say something about Viktor’s hair or something that might have sounded mean, but his drunk mind didn’t realize it. And what came after their talk was also a factor that added to his anxiety. Would they just apologize and move on, will it change something at all? Would they be capable of becoming friends or would they just move on and never talk to each other after they made peace with each other?

“Hey, it’ll be okay. You can do this.” JJ tapped his shoulder and then put his arm around him. “I’m proud of you, this is growth. Freshman, you would be running and hiding under his bed.” He added.

“Is that an option?” Yuuri asked sullenly.

“Not anymore, you’ve passed those types of options. It’s all about growth now, remember?” JJ told him with a smile.

They met Emil and Michele who were waiting for them in the living room. JJ must have told them what he was going to do, and they wanted to witness it. The house was busy this time, he could see a few guys out in the back and a few in the living room.

“I swear if Phichit wins I’ll punch you in the face,” Michele said to Emil when JJ told them Yuuri was going to talk to Viktor now. At their words, Yuuri tilted his head and turned to JJ behind him. He was shaking and making faces towards Michele and Emil, he stopped and smiled when he saw Yuuri turn.

“You placed bets?” Yuuri exclaimed. JJ’s smiled fell and formed to a guilty expression. “I’m going to go talk to Viktor and when I’m done, I’m going to come down and beat all of your asses,” He told every single one of them and made his first move towards the stairs.

“Fourth door on the left!” Yuuri heard Emil yell after him. He didn’t bother turning or mentioning that he already knew that. Then he remembered the stupid blog post and realized that was also something they would have to talk about at some point.

He knew what he had to do, but that didn’t make it any easier. It took everything in him to not just walk away as he climbed the stairs to the second floor, but he made the effort to move his feet. One step at a time, taking deep breaths and squeezing his hands into fists. He walked until he was standing in front of Viktor’s door. He could do this…he needed to do this. With one last deep breath, he lifted his hand to the door and knocked three times. He could hear his own heartbeat in his ears and sweat gathering in the back of his neck. His breath was uneven and every second that passed the idea of running away sounded like a great idea. But he was done with running as JJ had mentioned, he was different now than when he was a freshman. Running was no longer an option…not anymore.

Before he could make up his mind on leaving or staying, the door opened and Chris appeared at the door. He looked surprised, maybe just as surprised as Yuuri felt by the idea of him standing there as well. The surprised expression changed to that of confusion the longer Yuuri stood there without saying a word.

“Is Viktor here?” Yuuri asked. Part of him hoped Viktor was not there, while the other was ready to feel angry with himself for getting so worked up and to have Viktor not be where Yuuri thought he would be. His question was answered by Viktor walking into view behind Chris. He wore the same surprised and confused look on his face.

“Yuuri, what are you doing here?” Viktor asked. Chris moved out of the way and let Viktor come closer. It didn’t help Yuuri’s nerves, but he pushed through.

“I think we need to talk,” Yuuri told him and then took a deep breath. “We need to lay all of our cards on the table and see where things went wrong. No fighting, no arguing, just listening. I need to understand why you did what you did, and I think you also have to understand why I acted the way I did as a result.”

Viktor nodded looking down, he looked like he was in deep thought. A second passed and Viktor looked at him right in the eyes and gave him a sharp nod. “We do need to talk Yuuri, I think it’s been long overdue,” He finally said. He opened the door wider and then looked over his shoulder.

“That’s my cue,” Chris said and moved to leave not without giving Viktor one last look. Yuuri watched Chris walk down the hall towards the stairs before walking into the room.

Like the last time he was in the room, everything was he remembered it. Only now Viktor’s bed was unmade, and his laptop was on top of a mountain of blankets and pillows. Yuuri walked in until he was in the middle of the room before turning around. Viktor closed the door and looked back at him.

“I—I’ll admit have no idea where to start,” Yuuri told him. Now that the door was closed and Viktor was in front of him, everything felt real.

“How about from the very beginning?” Viktor said. Yuuri nodded in agreement.

“That’s a good place to start,” Yuuri admitted. Viktor looked down at the floor, eyebrows knitted together. Yuuri gave him his time to gather his thoughts, using that time to mentally prepare himself as well.

“It all started six months ago, at the party Chris threw at the start of the year,” Viktor told him. Yuuri opened his mouth to say something but Viktor raised a hand signaling at him to stop. “Let me talk, no interruptions. Let me tell the story of how you broke my heart.”

There was nothing else Yuuri could do but stare at him and listen to what he had to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to say how happy all your comments make me, I really like reading everything you guys think about this fic.   
> As you all might have noticed, these chapters are being uploaded a further apart now and I'm so sorry about that. Life is crazy y'all and I'm trying to keep up. I think that I'll be uploading a chapter a week from now :/   
> Thank you for reading this far and stay safe out there.


	12. Actions Speak Louder Than Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So what happened at Chris's beginning of the year party and what went down those first three months?   
> Well, Viktor's here to tell you all about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof guys, this is another long one, I didn't know how to stop. I could have cut it in half, but I didn't want to mess with the flow of the story or make you guys wait for the next part. I'll admit this was a fun one to write, no matter how long it got.   
> Once more, I would like to say that your comments and kudos mean so much to me. They really motivate me when I'm writing these chapters, thank you so much <3\.   
> Hope you guys enjoy it!

The room Viktor had been assigned was not bad, it was nothing like his room back in New York, that one had an en suite. And it could never compare to his old room in St. Petersburg, that one had a view. This room had neither a personal bathroom nor a view, but it came with a roommate. Christophe was his name, although he insisted on being called Chris.

Chris was also not bad either, and Viktor came to like him right away. Mostly he had been relieved to have gotten a roommate that wanted to talk to him, he had read in many online forums that most roommates didn’t even bother talking to each other. He had hoped that would not be his case, and his prayers had been answered. Chris as outgoing and had a few friends he had introduced him to. Mila and Georgi were their names, Chris said they would get along well since they too were Russian, although Mila was only born there and didn’t actually live there, while Georgi moved away when he was very young and had very little memory of the country.

All summer he had spent countless hours looking at pictures of the campus and looking up anything he could find about life on campus. There was not much the University posted on their official sites, mostly reminders of events and a few posts about his dad. Upon deeper search, he found a particular blog that focused more on the gossip that went around the actual students.

He had spent hours scrolling through his phone reading about rambunctious parties the fraternities threw, they were, as the blog put them, the main events on campus. That was when he decided that he wanted to be part of that all. So, he had begged his dad to get him into the fraternity and his pleasing dad did just that. The move from his last university and home was not as distressing as he had first thought. He didn’t have many people to say goodbye to, perhaps a teacher or two that he would miss. Other than that, he was sure no one else would miss him back anyways. 

Someone who didn’t take the move so well was his younger brother, Yuri. He hated moving; he had thrown a big tantrum when they left Russia to go to New York. Back then he threatened to leave almost daily, and their lives had been unbearable until he calmed down. It took a whole year for the younger boy to accept the move and start controlling his aggressive spurs. Controlling was a word Viktor would not use to describe Yuri’s anger management, what the younger boy did was bottle up his feelings, but he knew better than to try and talk to him about it. During that time Viktor tried to give him his space, and they rarely talked. With the passing of the years, they were not as close as they had been in St. Petersburg. He did occasionally try to hang out with him, after all, they only had each other back then, but with time it became very clear to Viktor that Yuri preferred to be left alone.

Yuri didn’t comment on his plan to moving into the fraternity home, and Viktor didn’t expect him to either. However, Viktor could tell that Yuri was not necessarily opposed to the idea as Yakov had been in the beginning. He had asked Yuri if he wanted to join too but Yuri only told him to fuck off and leave already. They had arrived a week early to settle in and Viktor had to stay in a room in the house assigned to the President since the dorms or houses were not open for check-in yet. 

The actual move-in day was everything and nothing like he expected. He expected to see crowds of students returning, but not the clusters of people that appeared out of nowhere, he expected lines, but not the mile-long ones that formed outside dorms. He had gone on a tour with his family when they arrived, no one but the vice president and a few professors had been present at the time since even summer classes had ended. Everything had felt cold and a little boring at first glance, and he started to worry that everything would be just as it had been in New York. All that changed with the arrival of everyone.

He had been walking around with a very angry Yuri when they heard music and that caught even Yuri’s attention. They moved subconsciously towards the noise; they were met with a crowd of people surrounding the source. Someone started singing a popular catchy song that everyone knew and made them start dancing in place. Moving closer and into the crowd they found three boys in the center of it all. Two of them were playing the guitar and one of them was on the keyboard. The dark-haired one was the one singing, and he did it pretty well. Back then he didn’t know him, but after meeting Chris he learned his name was JJ and the other guitar player was Leo, both would be living under the same roof as him.

It had been a nice little concert; they played a few songs. It was on the third song that someone yelled the name of a song. At that, the dark-haired guy told them they didn’t take request at the moment. When a voice called out from the other side of the crowd.

“Do it, coward!” Everyone turned to a boy with a backward baseball cap and his phone put recording everything.

“Please!” The girl with short hair beside him pleaded and send a glare at the boy next to her who didn’t even flinch.

“Well since my girlfriend asked so nicely,” the singer said and turned to the boy on the keyboard.

The news that the singer had a girlfriend caused many girls to mumble in disappointment. Viktor quickly gathered that the group near the two who spoke out were all friends. His eyes roamed from the short-haired girl to the boy with the cap on, beside him was another boy with glasses. He was talking to another girl beside him, both looking down at his phone as he swiped through it. The girl laughed loudly which made the two boys next to her move closer to see what she was laughing at. Once the song ended everyone clapped and went back to what they were doing. There were a few people left around, he couldn’t help looking back as Yuri started dragging him away. A group of four other boys and two girls approached them, they started shoving and laughing each other. Viktor felt a ping of jealousy at seeing them all interact and laugh with each other.

He hoped that he could also have that as well. His wishes came true when he met Chris only a few hours later that day. He had finished setting everything up, it had taken longer than he had expected. After all, he was left to do it himself since his dad was working and Yuri refused to go anywhere else with him for the rest of the day. Chris walked in with a box in hand and introduced himself cheerfully. Viktor had offered to help him bring up his stuff and Chris took his help. Amidst the moving Viktor was introduced to many of those he would be living with and that he had not met yet. Within those people were the two he saw in the courtyard, JJ Leroy and Leo De La Iglesia, he also met Seung Gil who was quiet and only offered him a head nod before leaving. He also met Georgi who accompanied them, having been finished with his own move in.

“Everyone is asking if you’ll organize the first party back, you know that if you don’t JJ will,” Georgi told Chris when they were back in their room.

“I got it, I have a playlist ready and a list of contacts,” Chris told him acting like it was no big deal. “You like to party Viktor?”

Viktor didn’t know what to say, part of him had yelled at him to lie while the other told him to be honest, even if he sounded lame. In the end, it didn’t matter because Chris put an arm around him.

“Even if you didn’t before you will now. I throw the best parties around here.” Chris told him with pride. “I can get even Yuuri Katsuki to dance and that guy can only dance with five bottles of alcohol in him,” He laughed. Viktor concluded that it was probably an inside joke because Georgi started laughing too. They were three days away from the start of the term, and Chris organized everything for that Friday. He said that it was the best moment because by Friday the last of the move in groups would have already moved in and it still left them with a few extra days before classes to recuperate.

“How are you liking everything so far,” His dad had asked him during their last dinner before Viktor left to his now fully decorated room. He had made dinner, just as he did every night when he was not busy. He and Yuri sat on either side of him facing each other. He would miss having dinner with his dad and brother every day, but life was about sacrifices.

“Yeah, is it everything you hoped for?’ Yuri asked mockingly as he stabbed his salad.

“Actually, it is,” Viktor told his younger brother with a smile on his face. “I met a lot of people already. My roommate is so cool too, his name is Chris and he throws the best parties on campus,” Viktor told his dad. Yakov simply nodded and listened without much of an input. Yuri, however, huffed and rolled his eyes as he started to talk about all the guys he would be living with and what little he had learned from a few of them.

Chris was a business major, and Viktor had been disappointed they would probably not see much of each other since their buildings were on opposite sides of campus. He was, however, happy to learn that Georgi’s friend Mila was an art major like him, Georgi was an art history major along with his other friend Seung Gil. Georgi had mentioned that there were a few electives they could take together if their schedules allowed it.

Viktor was surprised how easy it was to make friends and he wondered why it had been so hard in New York. He knew very well that it was not for lack of trying, he had tried very hard to talk to his classmates and become their friends. Those so-called friendships never extended outside of class, even in passing it seemed people forgot who he was.

“Do your so-called new best friends know that you are the son of the University’s president?” Yuri asked him. Viktor looked at him confused; he didn’t understand how that mattered. He shook his head, that made Yuri laughed. “Then enjoy it while it lasts,” He added and put his napkin down.

“What does that mean, why does it matter?” Viktor asked as he saw his brother push his chair back and start getting up.

“People don’t like hanging out with us for a reason, Viktor,” He said leaning forward and looking at Viktor with a mocking smile. Viktor could only shake his head. “What do you think that reason is?”

“That’s not true.” Viktor turned at his dad hoping he would have something to say on the subject, but he was only looking at Yuri with a frown like he had also not thought about that. 

“Really, so tell me Viktor, how many friends did you have in New York?” Yuri asked raising an eyebrow and standing up. “Or maybe you’re right, and it’s not because of Yakov. Maybe you are just a very annoying person and people just don’t like you. Either way, enjoy it while it lasts,” He added and then left.

“Yura!” Yakov called out after him but the blond didn’t even bother looking back. Makka ran after Yuri, who Viktor heard was heading up the stairs. “Don’t listen to him, you know how he gets when we move. I’m glad you met nice people; I just hope that they will not distract you from your studies. This is your last year and I don’t want you falling behind because you’re going to parties.”

Viktor sat through half an hour worth of his dad’s expectations, not pay much attention to it. Most of it was just reminders of what he and Yuri had been hearing for years. They were expected to keep satisfactory grades and not do anything that might make them look bad. After all, they were his sons and everything, they did reflect back to him and as default, it also affected the school. As he listens to his dad talk, he started to realize that perhaps Yuri had been correct, and people didn’t like him because of who his dad was and what they represented.

He decided it would be best if those living with him knew the little fact about himself. He didn’t want to start any conflicts in the future simply because he forgot to mention who his dad was. He intended to only tell Chris and maybe Georgi, but that didn’t end up happening. When he arrived at the house, he found everyone in the lower levels mingling with each other. At the sign of girls, he knew that the sorority had joined them.

“Viktor!” he heard Chris call out to him from a corner of the house. He was standing with Georgi and a red-haired girl. “This is the Viktor we’ve been talking about,” He said to the girl.

“Hey, I’m Mila, it’s nice to meet you,” She said extending her hand for a shake. “Georgi said that you’re Russian too,” She added.

“There seems to be a lot of Russians coming in, I heard the new president is Russian too,” A boy said from the couch, he had shaggy dark blond hair and facial hair. Viktor turned and recognized him from the group of people that were present during the impromptu concert. He saw JJ and the girl he called his girlfriend sitting on the other couch.

“What’s his name, Felt something?” JJ asked looking around for confirmation.

“President Feltsman, babe, and he moved from New York,” His girlfriend told him. “I heard the board petitioned to bring him over after our last president totally screwed us over. They hope he can fix at least our reputation.”

That was the main reason his dad was here, they wanted him to fix something that had been broken for so long. Corruption and fraud were things that didn’t make anyone look good and they were willing to pay big money to have someone with a reputable name sit on a leather chair and say they would fix everything. His dad was good at fixing things, he was also an honest man who was offered a big house and a living expense, along with the hefty salary. He was going to do the impossible and do it right.

“Hey, aren’t you from New York too?” The same guy who spoke up first asked. He was pointing at Viktor. “Do you know him?”

“Emil, not he’s not going to know everyone from New York,” Mila said. “It’s probably just a coincidence,” She added.

“Well,” Viktor started, as soon as he spoke everyone’s eyes were on him. “He’s actually my dad…well he’s my uncle really, but also my dad,” Viktor said he looked around at people’s shocked faces. “It’s nothing weird, he adopted me when I was a baby, so to me, he’s my dad,” He clarified when he realized the mess the had said.

“You’re the president’s son,” JJ said and then looked around with an amused look on his face. “Ho okay, this could either turn out to be the best thing ever or a very annoying thing and it all has to do with how uptight you are,” JJ said leaning forward and looking right at him. “We like to party, we like to drink until we can’t remember the night before, and some like to smoke weed, are going to go tell your daddy on us?”

“Ah, no,” Viktor told him taking a step back. He felt intimidated by all the eyes on him.

“Then welcome to the brotherhood Viktor, now let’s play some games. Leo put some music on!” He yelled and got up taking his girlfriend up with him.

“Welcome to campus Viktor, I’m Isabella,” The dark-haired girl said and smiled at him as she walked past with JJ. Viktor watched them leave with a wide eye. Isabella leaned in to whisper something to JJ and he nodded with a smile.

“Totally his type, I’m going to text him,” JJ replied and pulled out his phone, but Isabella grabbed this phone and shook her head.

“We know how much he loves surprises,” She told him as they walked away from a hearing distance. 

“So, the president’s kid,” He heard Chris say behind him. Viktor turned with a guilty expression.

“I’m so sorry, I swear I was going to tell you,” Viktor told him. he hoped that their friendship had not taken that big of a hit.

“Hey, it’s alright. We just met, there are also a lot of things you don’t know about me,” Chris told him. “Like the fact that I am not a morning person, and if you wake me up before a reasonable hour, I will punch you in the face,” He added, although the smile on his face told him he was probably not being too serious.

“Noted,” He said with a smile. He was a morning person, he was an early riser too, but he also lived with Yuri for many years. He knew how to deal with morning demons.

“Chris is also the biggest flirt, so just for as an FYI, I’m the only one with no roommate so you are welcomed over whenever his little visitors don’t leave,” Georgi said glaring at Chris.

“What now?” Chris asked as he crossed his arms.

“You traumatized poor Georgi so much that he refused to have a roommate this year,” Mila told him and patted Georgi’s shoulder. The dark-haired boy looked down with a despondent expression. Beside them Seung Gil let out a laugh that seemed to surprise those around him, Georgi however, didn’t look surprised or amused.

“Got something to say, Lee,” Georgi asked with a glare.

“Yeah, that the real reason you got your own room, is so you an invite your girlfriend over,” Seung Gil said.

“Whatever, you’re just jealous that I have a supermodel girlfriend, while your crush doesn’t even give you the time of day,” Georgi told him. Seung Gil glared at Georgi back and went back to sink into the wall.

“Take that back,” He hissed. Viktor saw Mila roll her eyes and shake her head.

“Truth hurts huh?” Was all Georgi said to him. Seung Gil’s glare intensified and a few seconds later Georgi seemed to realize that he was in danger.

“Run,” Was all Seung Gil said, he didn’t have to tell Georgi twice. He bolted past the group of people behind him and disappeared. Seung Gil relaxed and took another drink from his soda can.

“Are you…?” Viktor pointed in the direction that Georgi ran in. Seung Gil only shook his head.

“He’ll run around the house a couple of times before he realized that no one is actually following him,” Chris said. “Also, for your own good, don’t ask Georgi about his girlfriend.” Before Viktor could ask why there was a loud bang from outside. Everyone ran to the nearest window to see what was going on. Outside was a white moving truck and two boys standing beside it, and from the back of the truck was another boy trying to hold the doors from slamming again.

“What are you guys doing,?” Isabella asked with a worried tone as she ran outside. “Guang Hong be careful!”

“We rented this for twenty-four hours and we still got time left, we are going on a trip!” The boy named Phichit exclaimed. “Come on losers, Yuuri’s driving!” He added and gave the boy next to him a side hug.

“Come on Leo, there’s room in the back,” The boy who was holding the back doors called out. From the front door appeared Leo who ran full speed towards the boy.

“Come on JJ,” He called out. “Party in the back!”

“Who are they?” Viktor asked looking at the two boys who were now talking to their friends. He remembered them from earlier that day.

“Yuuri and Phichit, the coolest boys on campus. They are the literal life of the party,” Chris replied in almost a sigh. “I think you and Yuuri would get along well, he’s an art major too. He’s the most talented one in the whole school, and one of the reasons this school has any prestige left. Some say that the only reason he came here from Japan was to make the school famous, after all, back in Japan he was the protégé of a Minako Okukawa or something like that.”

“Minako Okukawa, really?” Viktor asked as he looked at the boy outside. He knew who Minako Okukawa was, anyone with an interest in the arts knew who she was. Her works were displayed all over the world and sold for a fortune, and she was so well known for her distinctive art style. Knowing her was an honor but being her student…that was far more impressive and almost impossible. She was known for being very reclusive and selective in who she talked to, let alone who she taught.

Yet that boy out there had that opportunity, and Viktor wanted to know him. Learn that made him worthy of Okukawa’s tutelage, to see what made him special and maybe even learn from him. Suddenly, everything became much more exciting. Not only did he have friends now, but he would also be going to class with someone who was probably very gifted.

Outside, Viktor could see Yuuri talking to Isabella as Phichit closed the back doors. When he was done, he came back around and started to wave as his two friends to get into the truck. Yuuri said something to both his friends and they burst out laughing, Yuuri joining them with the most beautiful smile Viktor had ever seen on a man before. He was talented and handsome, life was so kind to him, was the only thing Viktor could think. He kept watching as they got into the truck and drove away.

He wanted to meet Yuuri and his opportunity came on Friday, the day of the welcome back party. Preparations for the party didn’t start until later in the day, Viktor didn’t know what to expect,t but Chris didn’t seem too worried about anything. Viktor’s party experience was nothing too wild. He’d gone to a few in hopes of making connections with his classmates, but they always ended early and with nothing more than a headache. 

There seemed to be a high level of excitement that had Viktor looking forward to the start of the celebration. He accompanied Chris to buy drinks and order a few kegs from someone he knew. There was not much that went into preparing the house, most of it was simply moving furniture around and making sure breakables were out of the way. The sound system in the living room would be their DJ for the night and Chris loaded up the playlist.

He had texted Yura to try and convince him to come to the party, but he only received a straight-up no and a lot of cursing. His luck was running high, but he worried about his brother’s ability to make friends. Yura had said on multiple occasions that he didn’t need friends and didn’t see why Viktor himself was so obsessed with wanting to befriend everyone he met. Viktor didn’t know either, part of him just wanted to experience what it felt to be surrounded by people who liked him and wanted to hang out with him. He wanted to experience that with people that were not his dad and little brother.

“You ready?” Chris had asked when they were getting closer to the start of the party. Viktor looked at himself in the mirror. Chris had picked out his outfit with a mix of their clothes and said that he would be the center of attention because he was new and shiny, so he had to look good. “These things can get a little wild if at any time it feels like it’s too much you can always leave. No one will judge you. You can near stay me if you need to,” Chris told him with a smile and a light shoulder bump. Viktor was thankful for his thoughtful friend and told him that.

Everything did get crazy and quickly too. There were a lot of people wanting to come in at the same time and others were already getting rowdy. Chris told him people like to pregame before coming to loosen up a bit. Viktor only nodded because he totally knew that was. His eyes were on the door waiting for Yuuri to make his appearance, but as the first half an hour passed, he had not crossed the front door. Occasionally he would look around to see if he had missed him coming in, but he was not there.

He saw most of Yuuri’s friends around more than once, Leo was actively recording everything on his phone and as a result, crashing into everyone. His friend, a shorter boy with messy brown hair, Viktor was yet to learn the name of, trailed behind him trying to make sure he didn’t hurt himself. JJ and his girlfriend Isabella were in the middle of the crowd hyping everyone up as the party started, but no sign of the dark-haired boy with glasses or his loud friend.

“They never get here in the first hour,” Chris leaned in to tell him. Viktor tried not to react to what Chris had said, he didn’t want to seem too eager to see the Japanese boy. “They like to wait to see if the party was worth their time, if they show up, then you know it was a good party,” Chris continued.

“Does their opinion matter that much?” Viktor asked. Mila and Chris had mentioned they were popular, but Viktor didn’t realize just how much.

“Not really, but they do make parties more fun,” Chris said and then hooked his arm around Viktor. “Come on, let go get a drink. You don’t need to stand here waiting for them, when they do get here, you’ll know,” He added and started to drag him towards the lit kitchen.

Viktor had managed to seek away a few bottles of his dad’s vodka to add to the clustered of alcohol on the table. They were the good kind, imported from Russia and Viktor was sure they would only collect dust in the box he got them from. His father was not much of a drinker and Viktor tried not to drink as much anymore. It became a problem when he started getting a little too drunk at family dinners and made a fool of himself. But just because he didn’t drink himself, didn’t mean others couldn’t enjoy it. He grabbed a beer, however, just to not seem out of place. As Chris had offered, Viktor stayed by his side and he was able to meet few people. Everyone seemed to like Chris, and Chris conversed with everyone with so much ease it made Viktor jealous.

Chris would have had no problem making friends in the uptight society of New York. He would have charmed them with a smile and a flirtatious comment or two. Viktor tried his best to smile, laugh, and seem approachable. It worked for the most part, but he had forgotten how exhausting it was. He was about to tell Chris he was going back to his room when he felt something shift. People started moving and everyone seemed a little more excited.

“They’re here,” Chris told him and pulled him by the forearm until they had a clear view of the door. Walking in where the two boys he had seen through the window the other night. Now they were closer, and Viktor could see how incredibly handsome they both were. Viktor concluded that their appearance had a lot to do with how the crowd was reacting. As they walked by a few people started greeting them and the two boys threw waves and smiles at them. One boy with blond hair that had a single red stripe pushed through the crowd until he was a few feet away from Yuuri. It seemed like nothing would move him from his spot, the boy looked younger, probably a freshman. 

“Hey Yuuri,” The boy said excitedly. Yuuri, who had been distracted by looking at his friend’s phone and had missed the way the younger boy had pushed past the crowd of people. He looked over at him and with a sweet smile waved at him and said hey back. The two boys disappeared into the kitchen leaving the blond boy hyperventilating in their wake.

“Those bastards are hot, and they know it,” Chris commented while shaking his head. “Oh, what a life it would be to be them. Hot, talented, and liked by all.”

“Are you not their friend?” Viktor asked as they went back to their corner. Mila, Georgi, and Seung Gil joined them as the crowds started to disperse.

“They are nice and talk to everyone who talks to them. Phichit is the more approachable of the two, you can literally talk to him about anything and sure he’s friends with everyone, but not everyone has the opportunity to hang out with him and his group.” Mila told him. “Yuuri is more…selective for lack of better word. He’ll talk to you, but he won’t be starting the conversation. They’re cool, but good luck getting to hang out with them.”

They all nodded in agreement. Viktor looked over towards the kitchen where they had disappeared towards. And wondered if he would be able to talk to Yuuri in the first place. They had a few things in common, that could be a start.

“Their group is composed of only equally as talented people. People like JJ Leroy who is a very popular singer around here, he and his band members are all part of that group. They are also friends with fellow art majors like Sara Crispino and Isabella Yang. They were first women in the university to win the Grand Artist Award along with Yuuri, during their freshmen year.” Chris chimed in. Viktor looked around at his four new friends as they also stared off into the kitchen area.

“You would fit right in with them, you’re hot and talented,” Georgi told him, “So once they snatch you up don’t forget about us, okay,” He added while giving him a light shove. Viktor looked down as he felt his cheeks warm up. It would be nice to hang out with them, to be part of something as big as they were.

“I won’t, I’ll bring you with me,” He promised them with a wide smile.

“Hear that maybe then you’ll have a chance,” Georgi said mockingly towards Seung Gil. Seung Gil gave him a glare that made even Viktor feel scared. “Well not with that face, you won’t,” Georgi commented not sounded the least affected by his friend.

“Do you like one of them?” Viktor asked.

“He has the biggest crush on…ouch, don’t hit me!” Chris exclaimed and started to rub this shoulder. “It’s not like he won’t find out, you are not necessarily subtle about it either. He likes Phichit, but the other boy doesn’t even give him the time of day.”

Seung Gil didn’t say another word and simply slumped into the wall behind him. Mila patted his shoulder sympathetically. Viktor felt bad for him and made up his mind that we would help him get the other boy to notice him. He didn’t know much about being a wingman, but how hard could it be? But before he could help Seung Gil with Phichit, he needed to make contact. Something that proved to be very hard because Yuuri and Phichit never stood in one place for too long. Apart from that fact, it seemed like everyone wanted to stick as close to them as possible, there were no openings for Viktor to sneak through or instances where it was easy to start a conversation with either of them.

Chris gave up after a while and decided to enjoy his party. They all went back to the living room to dance and Viktor decided to go get a bottle of water or something to cool him down. All the body heat in the house was making everything very hot. He tried not to think too hard on the fact he was pressing against sweaty people as he made his way through the crowds. The kitchen was chaotic as well, red cups littered the floor, counters, and even the sink. The garbage cans were filled to the brim with cups and empty bottles. He started to wonder how the clean up for the house after the party went down. Viktor looked in the fridge and found no water but a lot of beer cans, and decided it was better than nothing.

“Can I have one of those too?” He heard someone ask behind him. Viktor reached for two cans and turned around to see a very sweaty and red-faced looking Yuuri behind him. Viktor stood frozen as the other boy reached out to take the can.

“Thanks,” He said taking the can in his hands. Instead of opening it right away he pressed it to his forehead and let out a low content moan. “Is it hot in here or is it just me?” He asked.

Viktor looked at him and started to feel very hot himself as well. Yuuri’s hair was sticking to his forehead and his glasses were a little askew. The bridge of his nose and cheeks were red and he was close enough to see drops of sweat on his throat. Viktor swallowed hard and averted his gaze down to the can in his hand.

“You’re hot,” Viktor blurted out and looked up at him with wide eyes. Yuuri looked at him with a smile.

“I am, it’s so hot in here,” He whined and started to fan himself. “Is there cold water?” He moved forward towards the fridge behind Viktor but couldn’t take a step before tumbling. Viktor reached out to grab him before he fell into the very dirty floor.

“There’s no water in there, I checked,” Viktor told the dark-haired boy in his arms and helped him up.

“Aw man really,” Yuuri whined again and started to look around. His eyes landed on the currently filled up sink and sighed.

“Do you want to go outside for a moment, it should be cooler out there,” Viktor suggested as he pointed at the glass door behind him. From where he stood, Viktor didn’t see many people outside and figured it would be nice to cool off before going back to the too hot living room. And it also allowed him a moment alone to talk to the boy he’s been dying to talk to all night. To his luck, Yuuri agreed and turned that way. As predicted the September air was cool and felt nice on their bare arms and necks. He saw Yuuri sigh in relief as soon as the first gash of cold air hit his face.

“Much better,” He said to himself and opened his beer.

Viktor did the same and they walked until they were farther into the yard behind the house. It was a big yard with a couple of trees around them that provided some shade in the daytime. A couple of garden tables and a shed in the farthest corner of the house. He followed Yuuri to the center of the yard and watched as he looked up the sky. From where they stood, Viktor could still hear the muffled sound of music and crickets mixed in together. They were not alone outside but no one was being noisy outside and it felt calming.

“The sky is so pretty tonight,” Yuuri said with a sigh. He was looking up at the sky with a smile. Viktor did the same to see the dark sky with thousands of tiny white stars lighting up the sky. The sky was cloudless, and the moon was at a quarter and bright as ever. 

“It is,” Viktor agreed with a smile. One thing that never changed no matter how far or near they went was the sky. “I’m Viktor,” he said towards the boy next to him.

Yuuri turned to him with a smile. “I’m Yuuri,” He told him and held out a hand. There was not much grip on the handshake and Viktor wondered if Yuuri was drunk.

“Pfff, no I’m not drunk. It takes so much to get me drunk,” Yuuri told him when he asked. His words slurred a bit, but he was standing up straight and could hold a conversation, so he believed him. Although Viktor could tell that Yuuri was at least tipsy, especially when out of nowhere he started to look around.

“Where’s Phichit, he has my jacket,” He asked after staring at the sky for a few more minutes. He looked around sounding very alarmed. “Shit, I misplaced my best friend,” He said and ran inside. Viktor ran after him just as alarmed at Yuuri’s behavior. Back in the kitchen again Yuuri started to open every counter and cupboard while calling out for Phichit.

Viktor stared at him as he moved around the kitchen haphazardly. He came to the conclusion that Yuuri really was drunk or at least very very tipsy. He caught him before he could fall on a few occasions and tried not to laugh. When Yuuri finally came to the conclusion that Phichit was in fact not hiding in any cupboard in the kitchen, he took Viktor one of Viktor’s hand and held it in both of his.

“Have you seen Phichit?” Yuuri asked him. Viktor shook his head at him. He couldn’t form any words while Yuuri was standing so close and holding his hand. “He abandoned me,” Yuuri finally said with a sad pout and dropped his hand. 

“I’m sure he’s around here somewhere,” Viktor told him as he looked around for a sign of Phichit or even Chris.

“Who’s going to dance with me now?” He asked as he looked around with a sad expression. Viktor swallowed hard.

“I’ll dance with you,” he said once gathered enough courage to offer. He expected Yuuri to just leave. Instead, he looked back at him with wide glimmering eyes.

“Really, you’d dance with me?” He asked as if he couldn’t believe Viktor had offered.

“Of course,” was the only thing Viktor had the chance to say because Yuuri was already pulling up again into the living room. They pushed past people until Yuuri found a place and then Yuuri dropped the hand that he was holding his own. Viktor felt a ping of disappointment at the loss of contact, it didn’t last however, because a beat later Yuuri’s hands were on him again.

Viktor was not much of a dancer. He didn’t go to many parties and those he did he didn’t really dance with anyone. But Yuuri knew how to move and Viktor followed his lead. There was no logic in their dancing and as he eyed those around him, they were all the same. The point was moving, and Viktor did just that. Yuuri’s eyes never left him and he could feel himself grow warm just from that. There was a lot of jumping and pressing together, in those moments he could hear Yuuri’s laughter in his ear, and Viktor couldn’t help but laugh along with him.

Viktor felt happy and surprisingly free while being caged in by a crowd of rowdy dancing bodies all around him. Yuuri never once let go of him and that alone felt like he was safe, even when the crowd started to close in making everyone squeeze together. He should have panicked at the idea of suffocating but with Yuuri by his side, who didn’t look the least worried about it, he felt fine.

“You are a really good dancer,” Yuuri said into his ear. Viktor felt a shiver down his neck all the way down his spine. A complement had never felt that nice, even if it was probably a lie since all he was doing was jumping and copying what Yuuri was doing. If anything, Yuuri was just complimenting himself, but he decided to take the compliment regardless.

“Thanks,” Viktor said back with a smile. “You are a really good dancer too, much better than me.”

“Do you want to know a secret?” Yuuri half yelled into his face. Viktor laughed while nodding and leaning in so Yuuri could tell him his secret. “I don’t know how to dance, I’m just doing what you are doing,” He said.

Viktor didn’t believe a word Yuuri was saying. “I’m doing what you are doing,” He told him. They looked at each other and then burst out laughing.

“I thought you knew this dance, everyone was dancing like you,” Yuuri said as he looked around. Most people around them had settled into moving in place now, nothing as wild as they had been dancing a few minutes ago.

“Everyone was dancing like you,” Viktor told him. Looking around he wondered if everyone was just copying each other. “Do you think everyone was just copying us?” Viktor asked. Yuuri frowned and looked around as well.

“One way to find out,” He said with a smirk on his face and started to move again. His moves were nonsensical, but Viktor followed for the hell of it. It took a few moves before people around them started to move along with them. Once everyone started following the dance moves didn’t seem so ridiculous. It was a chain reaction of everyone following each other. They had a private competition to see what the most ridiculous move they could get others to start doing along with them. They stopped when instead of dancing along people started to stare.

“That was fun,” Yuuri said once they managed to push pass people into a place where they were not surrounded by dancing bodies. “You are my new best friend now,” He told him and grabbed his hand. Viktor let Yuuri drag him around as he tried to comprehend what was going on. He had thought becoming Yuuri’s friend would be at least a little challenging, but all it took was a dance. He smiled the whole way to wherever Yuuri was taking him. He’s day was really only getting better and better.

“Oh, look my jacket,” Yuuri said loudly as he hurried to the lonely chair shoved into a corner. He picked it up with a smile that vanished when he looked around. “Where is Phichit, he is the worst friend ever.” He stomped his foot down and looked around again with a pout. Viktor laughed at how cute he looked.

“It’s okay, I’m your best friend now remember,” Viktor told him an squeezed the hand that was holding his.

“That’s right. Let’s go get a drink then,” Yuuri grabbed his jacket with the other had and they circled around people. Viktor kept his eye out for a sign of Phichit or his own friends, he found no familiar faces.

They grabbed another drink and then another, and Viktor watched him with awe. He was not the only one either, a few cheered him on as he took a swing of whatever brown liquid he had poured out. He was not sure how, but they got roped into a game of beer pong. Game Viktor was not good at, but he was lucky Yuuri was on his team. They went up against two other boys who greeted Yuuri as if they knew him for years. Viktor was not much of a beer guy, but he didn’t show his disgust for the taste of it. Yuuri however had no filter when it came to it.

“This is the shittest beer I’ve ever tasted,” Yuuri said once he finished drinking the cup in his hand. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and threw the red cup over his shoulder and grabbed the while ping pong ball.

“Get used to it because we are going to win,” The buff blond boy in front of them said with a cocky smile. Yuuri was able to get the ball into the cup right in front of the boy who had talked.

“Shut up and drink your shitty beer,” Yuuri told him with a smirk. The other person did and then agreed that the beer was not very good. Viktor thought it was probably to the fact it was no longer cold.

The game went back and forth. Viktor was lucky he had Yuuri as his partner, as he didn’t miss any of his shots. Viktor however had to drink more of the really bad beer. They ended up winning and those watching erupted in cheers, all probably too drunk themselves to know what exactly they were cheering about. Yuuri jumped on him and gave him a big hug, Viktor had to hold on to him tight to keep them both from hitting the ground.

“Woooh we won, I need to tell Phichit,” Yuuri cheered and looked around. When he realized his friend was nowhere to be seen he started to panic again. They went on the search of Phichit again. The search was short-lived when Yuuri asked who would dance with him and Viktor had to remind him that he would dance with him. They danced until the living room got too crowed and Viktor was feeling too suffocated.

“You are so much better than Phichit because you don’t leave me,” Yuuri told him as they went in search of another cold drink. Viktor hopped they could find something that was alcoholic somewhere for a change and Yuuri seemed to agree.

“I won’t leave you, I promise,” Viktor told him. That seemed to have made Yuuri very happy because he grabbed his arm and hugged it. Viktor felt his whole face grow hot and his heartbeat rising. He never expected Yuuri to be so affectionate, it was a pleasant surprise that Viktor found no reason to not reciprocate. They walked around hand in hand both looking for more fun and for their friends.

“Hey Yuuri, want to play a game!” Someone called out as they walked past a table. There were three girls and two boys sitting on the other side of the table, in front of them was an array of different condiments and alcohol bottles. Viktor knew where this was going, and he was not interested. Yuuri, however, had a different idea.

“Sure, what’s the prize?” He asked, not even bothering to ask what the game was. One of the boys pulled out a bottle with light brown liquid in it.

“A shot of this Patron tequila I took from my dad’s house. It’s limited edition and sells for 8 grand a bottle,” He said with a smirk. The bottle was already half empty, so either they already had their fair share of it, or a lot of people liked to play their little game.

“Deal,” Yuuri said without even stopping to think about it. The table cheered and Viktor turned to him with a shocked expression. 

“Yuuri I don’t think…” Viktor started but was cut off by the girl behind the table who clearly wanted to see Yuuri suffer.

“Okay, pick a plastic cup, drink the contents, and tell us what is in it. If you get it right, we’ll give you a shot. If you say something that is not in it or forget something, you get nothing,” The girl told her. Viktor eyed everything on the table and decided it was a very bad idea.

“Don’t do it,” Viktor told him and tied to pull his away, he ignored the glares those around the table gave him. Yuuri didn’t budge and instead reached out for a cup which made the others very happy. There was not much liquid in the cup, but that didn’t stop Viktor from wincing as he watched Yuuri take a drink. He expected him to take a sip, but instead, he threw it all back in one big chug. Those in front of him didn’t expect it either because they all scared at him with wide eyes and open mouths. They all waited in silane to see what Yuuri’s reaction would be.

“Ketchup, Mustard…Tartar sauce, and Soy sauce all mixed with….” Yuuri tilted his head and started to lick his lips. “Pepsi,” He told them with a smile. The girl looked at him and then back at the notebook she had in her lap to see if Yuuri got it right. She looked over at her friends beside her and showed them the page she was looking on.

“You…got it…right,” She said not believing it herself. By now a few others started to come closer to see what they were all doing. Yuuri cheered and high fived Viktor and waited patiently as his drink was being poured when another person took the challenge. Viktor tried not to grimace as the clearly intoxicated guy also chugged the whole thing. However, unlike Yuuri, he didn’t take it very well and started to gag. Everyone moved from their spot in case the guy actually threw up.

“Give him something to drink,” The girl next to exclaimed as she looked down at her partner with disgust. From the other side of the table they quickly brought out their two-liter bottle of soda and they all tried to open it quickly for the boy who was dry heaving in front of them. Instinctively, Viktor tried to push himself and Yuuri out of the area, but Yuuri was still waiting for his shot and chaos continued when they managed to open the bottle only for it to bubbly up and completely drench Yuuri and the girl next to him.

“Come on, really!” Yuuri exclaimed as he looked down at himself. The boy handed him his shot apologetically and Yuuri shot it back. His whole front was wet making his shirt cling to his chest, his glasses had droplets of soda some of it ran down his face.

Without saying another word Yuuri walked way leaving him behind and disappearing into the crowd of people. Viktor went after him, but the people and poor lighting made it hard to keep up with him. He kept going forward and didn’t see him again until he walking up the stairs with help from the wall. He moved fast but it seemed that the faster he tried to move past people the harder it became. He thought he heard someone call his name, but he continued forward until he was at the stairs. Once on the second level, he saw fewer people, all of them occupied in their own little worlds. He went to check in the first logical place Yuuri could have gone which was the bathroom.

He tried to door to see if it was locked only to find it open and the lights on. From the gap on the door, he saw Yuuri’s reflection in the mirror. Viktor opened the door glad he had found him, and it wasn’t until he was completely inside that he saw that Yuuri was shirtless. Right by the door was his jacket, blocking his entry.

“I’m all sticky,” Yuuri said from the sink. He turned back to him with a frown and a pout as he started sticking his hand on his chest to show how his hand stuck to it. Viktor swallowed hard and tried not to look down at his chest for too long.

“You should use paper towels to clean yourself,” Viktor told him and closed the door behind him. “Where is your shirt?” He asked as he bent down to pick up the jacket and placing it on top of the counter. With a once over around the bathroom, Viktor was able to locate his black shirt by the sink.

Yuuri turned on the water but just stared at the running water. Viktor noticed that Yuuri was only keeping himself up by clinching on to the sink. That last shot probably didn’t agree with him, or maybe it was the gross concoction he took, whatever it was Yuuri was not looking well.

“Hey, are you okay?” Viktor asked as he approached him. Yuuri nodded and started to get a couple of paper towels wet.

“I’m great, the room is just spinning a little and it feels like my brain wants to come out of my head,” He said and started to aggressively pat his chest with the wet paper towels, he was not even cleaning just hitting his chest. Viktor tried not to laugh at his response.

“Help me,” Yuuri pleaded when he couldn’t do it himself. His chest was now red from where he hit himself. Viktor could only stare at Yuuri wondering if he had heard him correctly. Yuuri extended the paper towels in his hand towards him and started waving them impatiently when Viktor would not take them.

He took them in his hand and looked at them and then up at Yuuri who stated at him waiting. Carefully, so he was not actually touching him he wiped his face first. With one hand he pushed back his hair from his forehead and with the other, he gently wiped off the dark-colored soda. There was not much he would do with Yuuri’s glasses still on his face. As he reached out to take them off, Yuuri smiled at him.

“You’re so pretty up close,” Yuuri said and before Viktor could react to his words, Yuuri was already leaning forward. Viktor didn’t know what he was going to do until Yuuri’s lips were pressed against his. Yuuri moved closer to him but Viktor moved away.

“Yuuri,” Viktor breath out, “You’ve had a little too much to drink,” Was all he could say. The last thing he wanted was to take advantage of Yuuri in a bathroom while he was not himself. His lips still tingled, and he could still feel the warmth of Yuuri’s lips on him. His first kiss, it was not how he had imagined it. It was actually the farthest from what he had imagined his first kiss would be like, but he was not complaining. Not when the man who kissed him was so beautiful. But that didn’t mean it was not wrong.

“You don’t want to kiss me?” Yuuri asked sadly.

“I do!” Viktor exclaimed and reached out to touch him but realized he was still very much shirtless. “I really do, but maybe when we’re both sober,” Viktor told him. He really hoped he would get another chance to kiss him. Yuuri looked up at him with is big wide brown eyes and it took all of Viktor’s self-control not to kiss him right there.

“Okay, you promise?” He asked. Viktor nodded bend over to pick up his shirt. It was luckily not wet but a little damp. “Will you be my boyfriend?” Viktor froze as he started to straighten himself up. The question came out of nowhere and Viktor was sure that was all drunk Yuuri talking. Although it did make him seem warm all over.

“Ask me again tomorrow and I might say yes,” Viktor told him with a smile. He wondered how Yuuri would react tomorrow, would he laugh at his antics or would he be embarrassed. He hoped they could laugh at them together, and if Yuuri meant what he just asked, then it seemed like Viktor’s luck continued. He now had a boyfriend and that fact made him very happy and excited for the start of the year.

“Okay, I will. And I will kiss you too,” He said. Viktor laughed along with him and helped him back into his shirt.

“I can’t wait,” Viktor told him. He could hear his heartbeat loud and clear in his ears. 

Once Yuuri was redressed they left the bathroom and walked towards the steps. Viktor could see how tired Yuuri looked by then, but at the sound of the music, Yuuri jumped alive again and announced he wanted to dance some more. Going down the stairs was a safety hazard, he had to hold Yuuri tightly so he wouldn’t fall forward. The descent was slow mostly because Yuuri was impatient and wanted to go dancing.

“Oh, I forgot my jacket,” Yuuri said as he lifted his empty hands once they were safe on the first floor. “And where is Phichit?” he asked looking around. Viktor looked at him bemusedly and realized they had left his jacket in the bathroom.

“We forgot it in the bathroom,” Viktor told him. Yuuri made a cute but angry face and stomped towards the stairs again. Viktor caught him before he got very far. “I’ll go get it, I don’t think you should go up and down those steps again. Wait for me right here, okay,” He told the dark-haired boy.

“You’ll come back right, we still have to dance,” Yuuri said as he grabbed his arm and hugged it.

“Of course, I’ll be right back. I promised I would stay with you. Just stay right here for me,” He told him, and with a kiss on the cheek, he ran up the stairs to get his jacket. The jacket was exactly where he had left it on the counter. But when he returned downstairs Yuuri was no longer where he had left him. It was late and he was tired, but he needed to find Yuuri, he had promised him a dance after all. 

He looked everywhere and eventually started asking those who looked like they could reply, which by then were not many. He found Chris on his second time around the whole house.

“Hey, I thought you went back to the room a long time ago,” Chris said, he didn’t look too sober either and there was glitter all over his hair.

“Have you seen Yuuri?” Viktor asked still looking around.

“You still caught up on him, don’t tell me you’ve been trying to talk to him all night?” Chris asked in a disappointed tone.

“I was just with him, but he forgot his jacket in the bathroom and I ran to get it for him. But when I returned, he was gone. I think he might be looking for his friend Phichit,” Viktor told him while holding up the jacket in his hands. Chris looked at him surprised and then back at the jacket.

“You actually got to talk to him?” Chris asked impressed.

“We’ve been hanging out for hours, I’m his friend now and a few minutes ago he asked me to be his boyfriend,” Viktor told him excitingly not being able to hold what he was feeling inside anymore.

“Wow dude, you work fast!” Chris laughed. They send the next hour looking for Yuuri. Eventually, the night grew into the morning and people started to leave and they concluded that he probably went back to his dorm. They did the same at the first sign of the sun with the consolation that they would see each other again once classes started and the fact they had all the time in the world to get to know each other.

Had he not been so tired, Viktor was sure he would have stayed up all night just thinking back at everything that happened. He did think back to every moment the next day and the day that followed. Chris took him on a tour of the school during the weekend, and Viktor hoped he would see Yuuri again, but he didn’t. He told Chris everything they had done, from how they met to when Yuuri asked him to be his boyfriend. Of course, he knew that it was probably all the beers and shot of tequila talking, but drunk words were sober thoughts. And it meant that Yuuri had found him at least worthy of being his boyfriend, even if they barely knew each other. But they had time, and Viktor was going to use every second to get to know him.

He wanted to know what made Yuuri worthy of being Minako Okukawa’s student. He wanted to know what was behind the talented and handsome Yuuri Katsuki. He already knew what made everyone like him so much, Yuuri was an exciting type of person that people liked to be around. Viktor saw as people fought for his attention and how with little effort Yuuri could please everyone around him. Yuuri Katsuki was a spontaneous person and the whole time Viktor spend with him, Viktor was never sure what he would do next. He liked that about him, and it shouldn’t have come to a surprise to Viktor that when classes started Yuuri didn’t act the way he had expected him too.

Their first class together didn’t happen until the second day of the term. He had been dreading the possibility that they wouldn’t be sharing any classes together, but when Yuuri walked into his two o’clock painting class all worries left his body. He had picked a seat next to Mila farthest from the door and the materials wall. She has said something about too much traffic and not being able to concentrate, Viktor had been listening to her at first but his whole attention went to Yuuri as he walked into class with Isabella and Sara. They sat a few easels away and not once looked his way.

“He probably didn’t see you,” Mila had whispered to him when she saw him frown. “You can talk to him after class.”

Viktor did just that. He waited the whole class time, scarcely hearing what their instructor was saying the whole time. Most of it was just going over the handout they had been emailed weeks ago and going over projects and grading. Viktor tried to catch Yuuri’s attention without being to forward. It didn’t work, because not once did Yuuri turn his head towards him, that fact frustrated Viktor because they were not even that far away from each other. He was tempted to simply call out his name, but he didn’t. He was never a particularly patient person, but he wanted to make a good impression, and shouting Yuuri’s name in the middle of the class would not make him look well.

As class came to an end Viktor quickly tried to pack up his stuff while ignoring a chuckling Mila beside him. When he looked in Yuuri’s direction he was already looking at him, but before Viktor could do much as a wave, Yuuri looked away and left the room with his giggling friends. He had seen him and had not even bothered to at the very least make some sign of acknowledgment.

“He’s probably embarrassed by the way he acted when he was drunk,” Chris reassured him when Viktor told him what had happened. They were back in their room and Viktor was feeling distraught. “I’ve heard JJ mention a couple of times how much Yuuri hates drink because he does embarrassing things when drunk. Give him some time to relax.”

So, Viktor gave him time. The next time they had a class together Viktor didn’t approach him and instead waited for Yuuri to make the first move. After all, the last thing Viktor wanted was his friend to feel uncomfortable around him. He kept his distance, even when he wanted to go up to him and tell Yuuri he had nothing to be embarrassed about. It was a hard thing to do, but his other friends were helpful moral support. Viktor started to try and get to know who Yuuri was, and most of the clues came from his art.

Chris had not been lying when he said Yuuri was the school’s most talented figure. His art was displayed in multiple areas around campus, they varied in sizes and shapes, but they did have a few things in common. All his pieces were vibrant, not just because of their color choice but of the content. Landscapes with bright blue skies, smiling people, colorful flowers, and detailed shapes. His favorite was the panoramic wall painting in the main building where his dad’s office was located, it was a front view shot of the university. When he asked about it someone told him Yuuri had done it on his own and had taken him the whole year to finish. Yuuri had only been a sophomore when he did it, and Viktor understood then just who crazy talented he was.

Many had something to say about Yuuri, and after a while, Viktor started to notice that they started to repeat themselves. Yuuri was talented, kind, handsome, and hung out with other talented, kind, and handsome people. When Viktor asked for more, they began to describe a reserved and shy person. Yuuri hung out with his group of friends and not many others, if you wanted to be his friend or even just talk to him, you need to be his friend’s friend first. None of the things anyone said described the boy he hung out with at Chris’s party.

He was an enigma and that made Viktor’s curiosity peak even more. And it made giving him space even harder. Two weeks in and four opportunities misses, Viktor decided that it was enough time. If Yuuri was shy, as many who he’d spoken to said he was, then that meant that Yuuri was not going to make the first move. Viktor had expected to approach Yuuri during class, he had practiced how he was going to do it all night. But as expected it didn’t work out that way. He saw him first in the hall after his class on a Monday, he was walking with his friend Phichit in his direction. He was caught off guard but thought it was a good time too, he could meet Phichit as well. He walked in their direction and heard the ending of their conversation.

“…. that party sucked anyways. I’m not going to another party, okay. I don’t care what you or JJ say,” Yuuri was telling his friend.

“Come on, you say that all the time,” Phichit told him while rolling his eyes.

They both looked up at the same time to see Viktor walking their way. But before Viktor could say anything or even reach them, Yuuri moved down the adjacent hall pulling his friend with him. Viktor stared after him as saw as Yuuri pushed his friend to the said after he said something and Phichit throwing his head back laughing. Viktor tried not to feel hurt and thought back to Chris’s words instead. He decided to continue with his first plan, it would probably be better to talk to him when they were alone.

That proved to be a very hard thing to do. Just like at the party, Yuuri was always surrounded by people. Whether it was one of his friends, a classmate, or a professor, Yuuri was never alone. The worst part was that on multiple occasions Viktor would catch Yuuri looking his way, and he would think that Yuuri would finally come around to talk to him. He never did. As the day went by and Viktor didn’t seem to be getting anywhere, Chris came to the rescue with his advice.

“You’re an artist, talk to him through your art. He has to look at it right, so paint him a message,” Chris said one day during lunch. Georgi and Mila had thought it was a good idea, so he did just that.

During their painting class, Viktor painted the starry sky they had introduced themselves under. He sprinkled stars all over his canvas all resembling the thousand stars that witness from the sky the birth of their friendship. It looked very much like that night and Viktor hoped it was enough to spark up a conversation with Yuuri. To tell him that he did not forget that night and that he wanted to talk to him. It took him two class sessions to finish it, and people flocked over to him to see his finish piece. He waited for Yuuri to approach him, but he never did. He stayed on his side of the room and only spoke to his friends.

After weeks of just waiting Viktor had enough, space and art were not doing anything. He decided to do it his way and that way was to go straight up to him and ask him why he was ignoring him. If Yuuri was embarrassed Viktor would convince his that were was no reason for it. A few days later after he talked himself into it, Viktor went looking for Yuuri, determined to talk to him. He saw him walking alone down a hall, and he thanked his lucky stars. He sped up when he turned a corner worried that he would lose him again. But before turning he heard Yuuri’s voice calling for his friend Phichit.

“Why are you in such a hurry,” Phichit asked him. “Worried you’ll bump into Viktor?” There was a mocking tone in Phichit’s voice that stopped Viktor in his tracks.

“Shut up, with my dumb luck he’ll come around the corner,” Yuuri sighed. They had stopped walking.

“Come on, don’t you want to be his friend?” Phichit said teasingly. Viktor frown at his tone of voice and wondered why Phichit did that.

“Right, as if someone like me could be friends with someone like him. Don’t be ridiculous,” Yuuri said. “Come on. Stop talking nonsense and let’s go eat.” 

Viktor heard them start walking again. Viktor pressed his back to the wall and tried to swallow back his tears. Yuuri was not avoiding him because he was embarrassed but because he just didn’t want to be around him. Yuuri didn’t want to be his friend because he was not good enough to be his friend. He should have known; he should have not let his own friend’s compliments get to his head. Viktor was nothing compared to Yuuri and his friends, so why would Yuuri want to be his friend in the first place. Yuuri must have been very drunk that night to have had asked him to be his friend or his boyfriend in that matter. It was all his fault for not realizing it sooner. 

He tried not to cry until he was in his room, he didn’t want people to see how stupid he had been. He wanted to hide it but there was no hiding from Chris who hugged him tightly when he saw him. Viktor was embarrassed then, embarrassed that he had thought he would be Yuuri’s friend when not even someone like Chris was. He cried the whole day and didn’t say anything. Not to Chris, not to Georgi, not to Mila and especially not to his father when he went over to cuddle with Makkachin. He slept in his room at his dad’s house that night, not wanting to bother Chris and because he needed to hug his dog who took away some of the pain in his chest. Yuri gave him a mocking smirk when he saw him, and Viktor couldn’t help but think he deserved it.

“Didn’t last that long huh, that sucks for you,” He has said before leaving that morning to school. Classes were not the same, not when he knew that he had been such an idiot. Luckily, no one seemed to know that he had made such a ridiculous assumption and that gave him some relief. 

Chris cornered him in their room two days later and demanded to know what had happened. It made Viktor feel better at how worried Chris looked for him, it made him realize that he didn’t need Yuuri to be his friend when he had already made so many other friends. Viktor told him what he had heard and then had to press himself against the wall so Chris wouldn’t go and punch Yuuri.

“Who the hell does he think he is!” Chris exclaimed. “Piece of shit thinks he’s better than you. What it a joke,” Chris said and tried to calm down. Chris’s eyes soften when he looked back at him and gave him a big hug. They called his other friends and had a movie night in their room. Viktor made Chris promise not to tell his other friends, he didn’t want them to know who dumb he had been. Chris begrudgingly agreed in the end. Viktor thought that would be the end of it, he was willing at accept the fact that Yuuri though the idea of them being friends was ridiculous. He thought that he could move on because no one else knew about his silly assumption, but it turned out that it was not the case.

“…I can’t believe Yuuri said that about Viktor, he’s getting worse than Phichit by the day,” Viktor overheard JJ say to Leo as he was coming down to the living room.

“And we both know that like Phichit, he is not going to do anything about it,” Leo said back. They went silent when Viktor showed up, instead of staying in the living room as he had intended, he walked towards the main doors. The moment he closed the door behind him he heard laughter from the inside. At first, he didn’t put much attention to it, he tried to stay away from Yuuri’s friend and told Chris to do the same. Mostly because he knew that Chris would take the violent route. He expected it to stop but the more the tried to ignore it he more the realized what was actually going on around him.

Muffled whispers from Yuuri’s friends when he entered the room, Yuuri looking at him from his seat on the other side of the room. He started to notice how Yuuri avoided him, if he was anywhere where Yuuri intended to go, he would turn around or linger a few paces away until Viktor left. He would catch fragments of conversations that told him more than enough what kind of things Yuuri was saying about him to his friends. What hurt the most was when he heard Yuuri say something about him, with the others he could pretend they were only saying their own opinion but when it came from Yuuri’s mouth…that hurt him much more. As the days went by it was becoming harder and harder to not notice the slightest turn and hushed whisper of those in Yuuri’s group whenever he was around.

Everything around him reminded him of Yuuri, he was after all embedded so deeply into every corner of the school. Even walking past his painting when he went to visit it dad twisted something in his stomach.

“He’s jealous,” Chris told him one day. “A new equally if not more talented artist comes into school and takes away all of his attention. Think about its Viktor, before you, he was the biggest thing that happened to this school. Now everyone is talking about you, and they all must be hating it.”

“That’s ridiculous, how am I better than Yuuri. Have you seen half the things he creates?” Viktor told him with a loud sigh. No matter how Yuuri treated him, Yuuri was still crazy talented. “And no one is talking about me, I’m just…nothing to talk about.”

“Are you kidding,” Chris exclaimed and went to sit next to him. “You’ve just been too caught up on what Yuuri is saying about that you haven’t noticed what other more intelligent people have to say about you. You're ‘Under the Stars’ piece was the main focus all month in the school’s newspaper and it’s now hanging in one of the art halls. That is not some little thing, you know that up to a few weeks ago only Yuuri and his friends have been exhibited there.”

He did know that it had meant a lot to him. His father had been very proud of him when he told him. And again, he stupidly thought that since his art was hanging alongside Yuuri’s, the other boy would approach him. Nothing changed, so to him, the so-called honor suddenly felt very insignificant.

“Their little fantasy world where they are the best things that happen to this world is crumbling and they blame you. Honestly, I never thought they could be like this, I guess I just read them all wrong,” Chris continued and patted his back.

He didn’t want to believe that jealousy was what started all this, and he didn’t. There was no reason for it and therefore it was only a theory he threw towards the back of his head. The Yuuri he had met was so confident that he would have no reason to feel something like envy. There were days when he thought that Yuuri couldn’t get any worst but the very next day he surprised him again. The next hit came while he was crossing campus to go home, he bumped into Leo and he started talking to him. He acted as if he had not been bad-mouthing him for the whole semester. He asked him how classes were going and if he’d joined any clubs, the conversation was tense on Viktor’s part and Leo acted like he didn’t notice. Once they got to the house, they went their separate ways and Viktor didn’t think much about it. It wasn’t until he was in the kitchen later that night when he heard JJ’s loud laugh.

“He’s pissed at me, I’m sure,” Leo said sounding very pleased with himself.

“Well you shouldn’t be teasing Yuuri like that,” JJ told him. They were coming down the stairs and Viktor hid behind the wall. “You know he doesn't like it when we talk to and about Viktor anymore,” JJ laughed again.

“Hey, I’m just trying to help here, I did it which Phichit and now he knows everything. I thought Yuuri would like to know everything about Viktor too. I am a good friend,” Leo said acting very proudly about himself.

“Well now thanks to you, none of us can hang out with Victor or he’ll kill us,” JJ said chuckling. “Not that it matters, I just can’t believe how blind that dude is. Honestly how blunt can Yuuri get before that guy takes the hint, everyone and their mother can see it.”

“Yuuri will have to yell it to his face and Viktor will probably still not get it,” Leo snickered. “And we all know that is not going to happen though.”

After that day no one associated with Yuuri approached him again. And Vikor had to stop Chris once more from going and punching JJ and Leo. Yuuri became even more reclusive and everything seemed to die down. He didn’t understand what had happened but to Chris, it made all sorts of sense.

“Yuuri’s trying to be subtle about the things he does. He probably doesn’t want more people realizing what kind of piece of shit he is, so he had to tune it down. Didn’t you say Leo mentioned people are starting to notice, clearly he needs to keep up his ‘I’m a saint’ cover.” Chris said bitterly the next day. For the first time, Viktor started to agree. As the days went on, he felt relief and at the same time a little sad at how easy it was for Yuuri to just forget about him. Yuuri would no longer start at him, and although he did still whisper to his friend, it was no longer about him. he knew that because they would not turn to look at him after whispering.

Things went back to normal, as Chris put it. To Viktor, it was not normal, just different. His dad started to request he spend more time at home, but he didn’t feel like it. The term was coming to a close and he felt like the whole term had been a waste. Winter came and with it their break. Chris went home for the holidays as did everyone else. Viktor also went home, although his distance was less than a mile away.

Being home felt different and the same altogether. Different in the sense that in the last three months he’d only ever been in that house a handful of times and to him, it was not home. And the same because his dad and Yura didn’t change, especially his little brother. Conversations with him didn’t go for long, Viktor always seemed to say the wrong thing. It didn’t help that his brother was never in a good mood. He had hoped that with the time he spent away Yura would become more comfortable with the idea of being in Detroit. Viktor felt like the opposite occurred, and he could tell his dad was at wits' end in regard to Yura.

“I worry about him Vitya, I rarely see him socialize with anyone,” His dad confided in him one morning. 

“Is there really no one he hangs out with, someone he talks to in class?” Viktor asked. Even he had at least what he called classroom friends, those who you were only friends with during class but never talked to outside of those four walls. 

“He did have a group project with one boy, Otabek Altin I believe. They met in the library, but Yuri didn’t seem very…responsive towards him,” His dad told him.

“Wait you went with him?” Viktor asked surprised. His dad looked down at the cup of coffee on the table in front of him.

“No, I just happened to be making rounds when I saw them,” He said. Viktor shook his head at his dad and tried to keep from laughing.

“If Yura had seen you…” Viktor started but shook his head instead. He didn’t want to think what Yuri would have done if that would have happened.

“I don’t know what to do anymore. He’s not a child anymore, he’s an adult who can make adult decisions. I just fear that if I give him too much freedom, he’ll make choices that will harm him and his future.” Viktor looked at his father and sighed.

His father was not someone who told them what to do very often. Growing up they had expectations and limitations. Viktor grew up in an academic family, filled with bright minds who found enjoyment in sitting in rooms and philosophizing. He had feared his father’s anger when he decided to go into fine arts, he was willing to fight him for it. It turned out he didn’t have to, he didn’t even have to explain to him why he wanted this career path. His dad only sat him down and asked if painting brought him joy and if he could live the rest of his life with that joy. When he answered yes, His dad stood up and got in contact with every and anyone who would be helpful to him. He got a tutor and all the materials he could ever want.

He had and will always be very thankful to Yakov, the only family member who willingly took him in after the death of his family. He gave his bachelor life to take care of a baby, a baby who became his son, even when he was sure to tell him all about his actual parents. To Viktor, Yakov was his only dad and first friend, and Yura, even if he said otherwise, was his only baby brother and second friend. And he loved them both very much, He, his dad, his brother, and Makkachin were a nice happy family…most of the time. 

His birthday passed and as did the holidays, and a new term began. He was excited to continue his college life and to see his friend again and the stupid part of him was also looking forward to seeing Yuuri again. That same stupid part foolishly hoped for an opportunity to make Yuuri like him. He of course didn’t share those hopes with Chris, because his roommate had made it very clear that he and the word Yuuri didn’t mix anymore.

Once more, Viktor had one class with Yuuri. And once more, Yuuri sat as far as possible from him, completely ignoring him. He knew the drill by then, so he focused on his projects and tried to also ignore anything that Yuuri did, no matter how hard it was.

“If you don’t do something, I might just do it myself,” Georgi threatens his friend Seung Gil once more. That was also something else that Viktor had gotten very used to and found rather entertaining. Seung Gil was someone who always kept his cool, except when someone brought up the name Phichit. There were always two outcomes, either he blushed redder than an apple or he got angrier than a beehive that’s been disturbed. On that occasion, he let out a loud melancholic sigh that even Viktor felt bad about.

“I don’t know what to do, every time I make up my mind to go up and talk to him, I just freeze. My body refuses to move or do anything but just stand there and stare,” Seung Gil said and sat back into the chair he was sitting in.

“Now I see why you and Georgi are such good friends,” Mila commented as she flipped through her magazine. “Such drama queens, how about you Viktor. Have you given up on Katsuki or are you still looking for ways to become his friend?”

They all turned to in Viktor’s direction waiting for his reply. He never told them everything that had been going on with Yuuri and himself, he also never mentioned what happened at Chris’s party. It was all too embarrassing, and he also had enough with Chris threatening to punch Yuuri every time he saw him. One person knowing was enough for him.

“Have you tried actually talking to him, I heard it works wonders when trying to get someone to notice you,” Georgi said but stared at Seung Gil the whole time, the other boy threw him his pillow. Chris groaned beside him, a typical response when Yuuri was brought up.

“Viktor doesn’t need to be that guys friend, he has us,” Chris told Mila while he kept his eyes on his own magazine. They were sitting in the living room as they usually did when most of the inhabitants of the house were gone, mostly because they all refused to have to sit on the floor if the hung out in one of their rooms. Mila didn’t get to ask why because the front door opened. JJ, Emil, and Michele walked in and waved in their direction.

“Hey guys,” JJ greeted them with a friendly tone. They started to walk towards the kitchen and Viktor started to think of an excuse to get his friends to leave the living room with him. Viktor watched at JJ stopped walking and turned around to them with a smile on his face. Viktor could feel some kind of insult coming, that was the face he made whenever he said something about him. “Say, do you guys have any plans for the weekend?” he asked. Georgi and Seung Gil turned to look at him. Chris put his magazine down and eyed Viktor.

“Not really,” Georgi said looking at his friends to see if anyone said anything else. “Why?”

“Well my friends and I are thinking of going camping, do you guys want to come?” JJ asked. That got their friends talking, they seemed to like the idea and they agreed. Chris didn’t say anything he only looked at JJ with a wary look. Beside him, Emil and Michele didn’t seem opposed to them joining.

“Great, I just need to talk to Phichit and Yuuri and then I’ll let you guys know all the details,” JJ told them and they left.

“Holy shit,” Mila squealed and started to celebrate with Georgi and Seung Gil. “We were just invited to hang out with JJ and his group, am I dreaming?”

“I don’t trust him,” Chris said. They all turned in his direction as he continued to stare in the direction the other three boys disappeared in. “Why now?”

“Who cares why now, the fact it happened is crazy,” Georgi said and then punched Seung Gil on the arm. “He’s your sign, you better not screw it up. How many more chances will you get to hang out with Phichit for a whole weekend?”

His friends were excited, and all Viktor could think was whether or not it was a good idea. Chris said that JJ never did anything without a motive, so what was his motive? Even if he was not one hundred percent sure about it, he was not going to ruin it for his friends. It was later in the day when he and Chris were coming back from studying in the library when they overheard the piece of information that helped make sense out of JJ’s invitation.

“….can’t believe that you did that,” Leo said to JJ. They heard them from the front door and saw them walking around the kitchen. 

“I’ll be fun, Leo, relax,” JJ told him. “Plus, don’t tell me you don’t want to see Yuuri’s face when he finds out Viktor is coming. I’m going to try and not let him know until the very last minute,” He added. Viktor could the mischievous tone in his voice.

“He is going to kill you and then me, I want no part in this plan,” Leo said.

“Fine fine, I’ll tell Yuuri who’s coming. Let him decide if he wants to go, but this is the perfect opportunity for him. I’m just helping him out,” JJ declared. Viktor left the living room and went straight to his room; he knew that Chris was not far behind.

“There is no way in hell you are going on that trip, they are planning something,” Chris said with a furious tone. “What more does that bastard want to do to you, why is he so caught up in hurting you?” Viktor shrugged and laid down in his bed.

He had hoped things would be different, that was he got for hoping for an impossible. He didn’t even want to think anymore, he just wanted everything to stop. The next day everything started back again, the whispers, the mean comments from Yuuri’s friends. They were never directly thrown at him; they didn’t work like that. They were subtle, after all, they all had appearances to keep up with.

“I wish they would all just stop talking about Viktor, it’s starting to get a little annoying,” He heard Yuuri say before class. He was walking a few paces behind Yuuri and Isabella, he didn’t mean to, but they were in the same class and heading in the same direction. “Why do they think I care what Viktor does?”

“Don’t you?” Isabella asked in a teasing tone.

“I could care less,” Yuuri said, for some reason that made Isabella laugh.

“Oh Yuuri,” was all his friend said.

They remained quiet for the rest of the walk to class. Yuuri didn’t care about him, Viktor knew that to some extent but hearing it from his mouth mad his heartache again and he felt his eyes water again. He pushed through his feelings though, there was no point in dwelling in something he already knew was a given fact. He pushed through the class in a numb state and went to lunch with Chris continuously asked him what was wrong.

“Something happened today, and you are not going to believe it,” Georgi said as soon as he reached their table. Behind him was a brooding Seung Gil who sat down without a word, nothing unusual from him.

“What did you finally find your brain today,” Chris asked in a serious tone. That made Seung Gil laugh.

“No, today was the day Seung Gil grew a pair and, hear this, he gave Phichit a nod,” Georgi said dramatically. They whoa-ed at the revelation which earned them a death glare from Seung Gil.

“And what this the object of his affections do?” Chris asked as he sat back in his seat and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Georgi looked over at his friend with a sad smile then looked back to Viktor and Chris.

“Nothing, he just kind of stared at him as we walked away,” Georgi said. “But hey, it’s better than nothing,” He added to give Seung Gil some hope. Viktor could tell him a thing or two about hope, but he didn’t want to shatter the other boy’s heart.

“Hey guys,” Mila said when she arrived. She sat right next to the gloomy Seung Gil and asked what the matter was. Georgi gave her a retelling of what happened between Phichit and Seung Gil. 

“Yo Katsuki, save us a seat!” Viktor heard JJ yell from one side of the cafeteria, it caused many heads to turn in their direction. For the first time, Viktor noticed Yuuri’s presence. He was standing by the line with a tray of food in his hands, not far was his friend Phichit paying for his own food. He watched them from the corner of his eye and saw them stop as they eyed the only empty table left right beside them. He watched Yuuri tense up but they continued walking in that direction. When they were close, Viktor could see that they were whispering again but couldn’t make up the actual words at least not until they were close enough, they were, however, looking in their direction.

“You are an asshole Yuuri Katsuki,” Phichit said to his friend as they passed their table. Yuuri chuckled and ignored their table as they sat down on the next table. Beside him, Chris shifted uncomfortably and shook his head.

“I don’t know how you can deal with our professor, she’s horrible. I can’t believe she’s giving us a midterm just because some people are not doing the readings,” Phichit said.

They went on to talk about their classes and Viktor couldn’t help but listen. It was the first time in a while where he heard Yuuri talk naturally and not in whispers or saying anything mean about him. From their conversation, Viktor learned something from Yuuri that he didn’t know before. That sparked up his curiosity once more and his desire to know more about him returned. Their conversation however didn’t continue for long because JJ joined them soon after. For some reason, JJ and Isabella waved in their direction as they went to sit next to their friends.

“I know that you always say that you hate parties or anything that involves more than two people but hear me out,” JJ said as soon as he sat down. Viktor knew what was coming, he was going to talk about the camping trip. “Leo and I have been looking up for places to go camping at that we haven’t been before and we found one with a view to the lake. I was thinking we could rent some of those Kayaks from the outdoor program rental center. I’ll be so much fun, and we could invite the rest of the fraternity, I’m sure Chris and Vic….” JJ continued but was cut off at the end by Yuuri straight out saying no.

“I can’t go, I’m busy doing literally anything else,” Yuuri told JJ.

Beside him, Chris made a noise and looked at Viktor as if he couldn’t believe what Yuuri had just said. He also couldn’t either, he’s never been so forward before. He knew they were sitting behind him and didn’t even pretend anymore. It hurt, everything leading up to that moment just added to the pain in his chest. How did they get to that point, how did it even start? Never before had Yuuri been so straight forward about his dislike for him, but he couldn’t even leave it at that either.

“I don’t do camping or anything that requires me to spend time with the bugs of the world,” he added and something in Viktor just broke. He felt it, the last string of hope falling apart, the last stupid hope that he had been misunderstanding everything. Yuuri could have not been more clear than he was at that moment. And Viktor had enough, enough waiting, enough wishing and enough putting up with all the things Yuuri did to him. He stood up and looked at the man who he once hoped would become his friend, the man who he had once wished to know and the man who he now wished he had never met.

“You are a piece of shit, you know that,” He said to Yuuri. Viktor hoped that no one could hear his heart crumpling to pieces. He let anger take over because otherwise, he would become a crying mess. Anger was more acceptable in their situation even if all he wanted was to run home and cry into Makka’s fur. But Yuuri couldn’t leave it at that, no he had to make himself the victim.

“I don’t even know you,” Yuuri said casually like he really didn’t know him. Like he had not been messing up his life from the moment they met. Like Viktor honestly meant nothing to him. He let all the anger take him over because he was so close to just falling down.

“Fuck you Yuuri,” He said. It didn’t make him feel better as he hoped it would. The words felt rancid in his mouth.

He left because he didn’t want to hear what Yuuri had to say next, he didn’t want to hear him talk anymore. He walked out of the cafeteria and once he was outside, he ran. He didn’t know where he was running to but he ran. He heard Chris behind him, but he didn’t stop until he was unable to run and cry anymore. He sat down on the ground and pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged himself. He stayed like that until he felt arms around him and he felt himself shaking.

“I’m so angry that I’m crying, and crying makes me even angrier,” Viktor said out loud. “Why does it hurt, why do I care what he thinks about me.”

“Because you made him too important in that head of yours, I really wish you hadn’t. He doesn’t deserve it,” Chris said to him. “I hate him so much for this.”

“I can’t hate him,” Viktor found himself admitting.

“God Viktor, you can’t keep doing this to yourself. He’s hurt you enough, and he’ll keep doing it for as long as you let him,” Chris told him. His sympathy was gone and was replaced by anger. “How long are you going to let him walk over you like that. You can’t just let him get away with it because you want someone to be your friend. You need to fight back, make him see that you will not take it anymore.”

Viktor knew his friend was right, that he couldn’t let Yuuri or his friends get away with talking behind his back and do things to make him feel bad.

“I don’t know what to do,” Viktor admitted. He didn’t have many friends, but he’s never had anyone who disliked him so openly. He only wanted to know what he had done wrong and maybe fix it. But above all he just wanted Yuuri to stop.

“Well, to start off you need to stop staying quiet. It’s time to fight back,” Chris told him.

Fight back had been a very foreign concept to him because he’s never had to fight for anything. He didn’t know what that entailed or how that would make him feel, but he knew that he couldn’t let another term pass him by without doing anything.

So, he fought back and learned that by doing so, he felt even worst.

****

“I wanted you to feel the same way I felt when I heard you talking about me. I wanted to hurt you too, so maybe you could understand….understand wha-what I was going through all those months.” Viktor said, by now words were becoming harder to say. He kept his head down, not being able to look at Yuuri in the eye. Not while he was peeling away the protective shell, he and Chris had built to keep him from breaking again. He was vulnerable in front of Yuuri again and he was so scared to know what he would say next.

Would he laugh at him just as he did before, would he call him weak and walk away. Would he ignore his feelings and tell him to get over them. He went quiet and waited for Yuuri’s next hit, he braced himself to hear it. When it didn’t come, he looked up frowning, he half expected to find him gone. Instead, he saw him standing in the same place he had stood since he walked into the room. Yuuri had both his hands over his mouth as he stared at him with wide eyes filled with tears. He was shaking and just looking at him.

“Yuuri?” Viktor called out but Yuuri only stared at him. Yuuri was crying and that didn’t make him feel any better. Yuuri took a deep breath to try and control himself but a sob escaped his lips again. Viktor moved to go to him but Yuuri stepped back and put up a hand to stop him while the other was pressed to his chest. His breathing came out in gasp and Viktor stood in place crying and watching Yuuri try to control himself.

“Yuuri, please,” He said. He didn’t know what he was exactly begging him for. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know what Yuuri needed. He didn’t know what was happening. 

“Because I liked you,” Yuuri blurted out. Viktor looked at him with wide eyes. “I had the biggest, most useless crush on you and I never knew how to talk to you, so I avoided you. My friends were just teasing me about it, and I whisper around with Phichit, but that’s what you do when you are talking about people you like. I was really hurt when you started saying mean things to me…it felt like I was in high school all over again, but this time it was worst because…. god… I actually cared what you thought about me.” Yuuri’s voice cracked in the end he buried his face in his hands. Yuuri didn’t back look up at him. His breathing and gasping sobs were the only sound in the room.

“Why didn’t you just tell me you liked me?” Viktor asked. “You knew I wanted to be your friend, you yourself said I was,” He added. “Why did you avoid me?” 

Yuuri had liked him this whole time, that was enough to make his heart soar again. But one look at Yuuri and it broke all over again.

“You’re Viktor Nikiforov, why would you ever like someone like me?” Yuuri asked.

“You said someone like you could never be friends with someone like me,” Viktor told him.

“Of course,” Yuuri said as if it was common knowledge. He felt his chest hurt again. “You’re this talented person that everyone likes, why would someone like you be friends with someone who’s mediocre at best.”

Viktor could not believe his ears, he stared Yuuri who was still breathing in deeply.

“Do you even know who you are Yuuri?” Viktor asked. “Do you even realize how many people look up to you. How many accomplishments you have, how crazy talented you are. How can you not see that the mediocre artist here is me.”

Yuuri’s eyes narrowed in Viktor’s direction. “How can you call your self that. I read so much about you; saw the long list of awards you have. Of fuck sakes you got one of your pieces handed in exhibition hall only weeks after you started class here. Do you know how hard it is to have anyone on the panel even glance at one of your pieces? It took me a whole year so they could even consider me. So of course, I didn’t think I was at your level.”

Yuuri looked down at his shaking hands, Viktor wanted to walk over to him and grab them but was told to keep his distance.

“I…I honestly don’t remember anything of that night Viktor,” Yuuri managed to say before taking another shaky deep breath. “Viktor…I-I’m so sorry, I never meant to hurt you. Had I known…had I…I…”

He didn’t know what was happening, Viktor felt frozen in shock as he saw Yuuri falling apart in front of him. His head shouted at him to move and do something, but his body didn’t respond. Yuuri was shaking and the minute he fell to his knees Viktor went to him, by now Yuuri was hyperventilating and Viktor was panicking.

“Yuuri, what’s wrong,” Viktor cried as his hands hovered over Yuuri’s shoulders. He didn’t know if touching him would cause him more harm. “Yuuri please, tell me what to do,” he pleaded.

“J….JJ call…” Yuuri gasped. At first, he didn’t understand what JJ meant, until he realized it was his friend. His friends would know what to do. Viktor ran to the door half tripping over himself as he pulled the door open. He ran down the call calling out for JJ in a frenzy, he didn’t know where he was, and his mind was not working. All he knew was that Yuuri was in trouble and he needed JJ. “JJ, where is JJ?” He asked the first person he saw.

“I don’t know,” The boy said. Then a group of boys came running up the stairs and JJ was with them.

“What the hell is going on?” JJ asked.

“I know what to do….Yuuri, he’s….I don’t know,” He managed to choke out. JJ didn’t stay to listen to everything he had to say. The second Viktor said Yuuri’s name JJ was running towards the room.

“What happened?” It was Chris who asked this time as he put a hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t know, I didn’t know what to do, he started breathing really hard,” Viktor said as he buried his fingers into this hair and pulling in frustration.

“Shit,” Leo who was only a few steps to the side said and ran to the stairs. “Emil, call Phichit now, tell him to bring Yuuri's pills!” He yelled and then ran towards the room. They all did as well. Yuuri was still on the floor and JJ right in front of him on his knees.

“It’s okay, everything is okay. Just breathe with me okay, follow my breathing,” He was saying to Yuuri who was trying to normalize his breathing. JJ held on to one of Yuuri’s shaking hands. “I’m right here okay, you’re okay,” He kept repeating.

Leo pulled on Viktor’s arm making him look at him. “Let’s give them some privacy if Yuuri sees us he might get worst,” Leo said and started to pull them. “Phichit is on his way,” He told JJ and shut the door. Viktor stared at the closed door; he could still hear the Yuuri crying.

“It’s my fault,” Viktor mumbled.

“It’s not…it-It’s all our fault we shouldn’t have pushed him into talking to you. Whatever you told him probably caught him by surprise. God, we should have known. We’re so stupid” Leo said and started walking around in a nervous manner. Emil stopped him by grabbing his shoulder and giving him a pat.

“He’s okay, it’s not the first time. He’ll be fine, JJ’s with him now,” Emil told his friend.

“Phichit better hurry the fuck up,” Michele said as he let the back of his head hit the wall. “Should we get him some water?” He asked suddenly.

“And wet towels to help him cool down,” Leo added, and they ran downstairs.

Emil told everyone to leave and go back to what they were doing, he was about to do the same to Chris and himself but quickly realized they room was being occupied.

“It’s half our fault too, don’t blame yourself. It’ll only make Yuuri feel worst,” Emil told him and walked downstairs to help his friends.

Chris took a deep breath beside him. “I didn’t know for fragile Yuuri’s feelings really were. I fucked up, this was all my idea after all,” He said.

“I played a part in it too,” Viktor told his friend. He no longer knew how to feel anymore. He was angry, but at himself. He was sad at the fact he hurt someone who didn’t deserve it just because he didn’t talk to him. He was worried about the boy he had no idea how to help. He had never felt as useless as he did while watching Yuuri struggle.

“I don’t know, where I stand anymore. What happens next?” Viktor asked. Would this just add to the divide between them, or would it just completely destroy anything that was there before? As the minutes passed and he stood outside staring at his bedroom door he realized he didn’t want to be away from Yuuri. Hoped had returned and this time he was not going to let miscommunication get in the way. He was going to say everything he felt, so Yuuri knew exactly what he meant. And maybe they could build something from all that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay healthy and safe my lovely people <3 Thanks for reading!


	13. Out of The Woods

The ticking on the clock had never felt as irritating as it did in that moment. He had not even realized there was a clock on the wall in the first place until it was the only thing he could hear. Everything was quiet and he knew it was all because of him. He kept staring down at his hands because he didn’t know where else to look. He could feel eyes on him, but he tried to ignore them and focus on his next response. He’s been avoiding the subject from the minute he sat down, even if he knew it would come up eventually.

“I know this is not a subject you like talking about, and I’ve tried to avoid it. However, I feel like we have averted the issue far too many times. I fear that by continuing to do so it will only affect you farther,” Dr. Bin told him. Yuuri didn’t bother looking up, he knew what expression he would have.

He knew he’s been avoiding it because talking about it made it feel real. It was no longer an afterthought or a terrible dream, it was something that had happened and that he’s been evading, hoping it would just go away. He didn’t like talking about it because he already knew what Dr. Bin would suggest he do, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. He had avoided it for the last four years, he had bypassed going home just so he didn’t have to face it. But his time was running out, he was expected back home sooner or later. The truth would come out, guilt would make him succumb to it and then everyone would feel just as shitty as he felt. In part it was his fault for delaying the inevitable, all the buildup would only make things worse, he knew that. But he wouldn’t be Yuuri Katsuki if he didn’t make things harder than they needed to be. 

“Let’s talk about your anxiety attack,” Dr. Bin moved on when he noticed Yuuri closing up again. “Did it feel like you were able to control yourself better this time?” Yuuri huffed at the word control and started to play with the end of his zipper.

The talk with Viktor had not gone how he had imagined it. He didn’t have a clear idea of what could have happened to start with but having an anxiety attack in front of Viktor was not something he had anticipated. Had he expected it, then that control Dr. Bin talked about would have happened.

The truth was, he had no control. At that moment he felt like everything was closing in on him. He was overwhelmed by too much information he had to process in a very short amount of time, and none of it made him feel very good about himself. He started to panic when he realized that he needed to apologize, but he also wanted to let Viktor know his side of the story so he could understand. He ended up doing none of those things and instead of making a complete fool out of himself.

He could feel it the second Viktor started talking and by the time he ended, he was too overwhelmed. He tried to breathe, to keep calm, and think about anything that was not the anxiety bubbling up inside of him. Crying didn’t help in the slightest, overall, he had been a mess. A mess that the whole fraternity witnessed, and it made him want to disappear.

In some ways he did, he stayed in his room the whole weekend. To his surprise, it had been Phichit who suggested having a movie night instead of going to Chris’s party. The idea of going to another party was enough to make him start shaking again. Phichit noticed it before he did and instead shoved him warmest pajamas and pulled up his selection of movies. It had been enough to help him relax, especially since it was just him and Phichit.

No one commented on what had happened, but Yuuri knew that Phichit found out everything that Viktor had told him. On Saturday Yuuri heard a knock and Phichit opening the door. He was in the bathroom at the time, but he heard Chris’s voice loud and clear when he inquired about him and asked Phichit to send his sincere apologies to him. Phichit had walked out and closed the door behind him to continue their talk. Even with the door close, Yuuri could hear Phichit going off on Chris, but in the end, apologize for his side of their misunderstanding. He sent Chris away by saying Yuuri needed time. He didn’t know what time would do really, he just needed to be alone without their sympathetic looks that made him feel worst about himself. Maybe he did need time, time for people to forget about it, and for everything to go back to normal.

“Yuuri?” Dr. Bin called for his attention. He came back from his thoughts and looked over at Dr. Bin who waited for his response. He took a few more seconds to be able to reply with a sincere answer.

“I don’t feel like I had much control over anything. I could feel it creeping up on me and I thought I could breathe through it. I thought about the breathing exercises, but those didn’t help,” Yuuri admitted.

He didn’t really know what happened, one moment Viktor was talking to him and the next he was on the floor with JJ telling him to take deep breaths and Phichit rubbing his back. It had been a nightmare come true, from everything that Viktor told him, to having an anxiety attack in front of him. He couldn’t even look him in the eye as he walked out of his room that day.

He had been so thankful for his friends, every single one of them. Even in his frantic state, he could hear Emil and Michele telling everyone to go away and mind their own business. Leo had shoved a bottle of water in his hands as Phichit poured his medication into the other hand, and JJ kept telling him everything was going to be okay. They had known what to do, but they were not experts. Everything was learned from trial and error, after all, they had been witnesses of a few in the time they’ve known each other.

With the years these episodes had become rare, in fact, that had been the first in a long time. From the very beginning, JJ had been the first to know what to do, all from personal experience. They were each other’s unofficial first responders, and it helped to know that there was someone who would come in their aid whenever it did happen. They learned to spot things that could trigger them and do their best to avoid them, but even after years, they cannot predict everything.

“Yuuri, I think another thing we need to discuss is your drinking,” Dr. Bin wrote something down and then looked up. “Alcohol, as I’ve mentioned before, could worsen your anxiety and depression. You are also taking medications…at least I hope you are,” He said sending him a look and adjusting his glasses on his face. “I’ll advise you to stop drinking while you are on treatment.” His tone was not demanding or condescending, and for that Yuuri was thankful. Then again, Dr. Bin was never one to judge him, at least not to his face.

“Believe me, after everything that happened, I’m never drinking again,” Yuuri said looking down at his hands. Regardless, he still felt like a child being scolded and that didn’t feel very good.

“I fear that maybe alcohol has become a way of coping; it is not uncommon…” Yuuri was shaking his head as Dr. Bin spoke, the last thing he needed was to be labeled as an alcoholic on top of everything.

“It’s not like that, I just drink with my friends at parties,” Yuuri said and sighed because there was not a way of explaining it without it sounding like he was just giving an excuse.

“Do you drink at these parties because you feel anxious?” Dr. Bin asked.

Yuuri fell silent because he knew where Dr. Bin was going with his questions and he knew the answers very well. He could deny it all he wanted but it was a coping mechanism, it helped him loosen up so he could pretend he was a normal person who could go to a party and have fun without being paranoid. He needed something that took away the feeling of being watched and judged by everyone the second he walked anywhere. Parties were exceptionally harder because there were not many places he could hide, and it was always so crowded. In times it felt like people pushed up against him to try and suffocate him like everyone was staring at him and mocking him. When he was drunk, none of that mattered because he didn’t care.

“Shit,” Yuuri hissed under his breath and buried his face in his hands. The gravity of what he just realized weighed heavy in his shoulders. “I didn’t even realize I was doing it for that reason. I just wanted to let loose, to have fun like everyone else. I just wanted to be normal,” He told him with tears in his eyes.

“Normal is subjective and could mean different things to different people. Like your art, normalcy can have more than one meaning.” Dr. Bin stated.

They went back and forth on their definition of normal, they concluded that they could not agree. Their fifty-minute session ended and Yuuri left, not before Dr. Bin told him that taking his medication was paramount if wanted a chance to reach any kind of that normal he talked about. Whatever his initial reasons for not taking his medication were, now he didn’t have a choice. When looking for his pills, Phichit had found the anti-depressants. While Phichit didn’t ask why he didn’t tell him about it or why the bottle was still full, he did make it his business to give him his pills every morning with breakfast.

In the last three days since it happened his friends had been giving him space, but lingered around him, just in case he need anything. In times like those, he appreciated his friends even more. He knew it was not easy for them either, doing what they were doing for him took time. Time, they could be using for other things, but they didn’t seem bothered by it, or at least they didn’t show it.

JJ and Isabella were waiting outside of Dr. Bin’s office for him. They had insisted on accompanying him while Phichit went to class and couldn’t come with him. There was not much use in arguing with JJ or Isabella, so Yuuri simply thanked them for coming with him. 

“How did it go?” Isabella asked as she gathered her things and stood up along with JJ. They both looked at him patiently as they waited for his answer.

“Well, apparently I have no idea what normal means, might have a slight drinking problem that spawns from the anxiety going to parties gives me and I need to start taking my medication if I want to live a normal life. Aside from all that, everything is great,” Yuuri said with a little too much sarcasm than he initially intended. Any inclination that he had been joking was lost to both JJ and Isabella who looked at him with a worried expression. “I’m okay really. Dr. Bin just advised I stay away from alcohol and take my pills,” He added to ease their minds. Maybe he should also stop his attempts to joking around.

“We have been such horrible friends to you,” Isabella said and hooked her arm around him, “We should have known that dragging you to those silly frat parties was not good for you. Or at the very least we should have taken better care of you.”

Yuuri shook his head and gave her a smile. “I’m glad you drag me to those silly parties; without them, I might have become a hermit. I’m the one who needs to learn how to limit myself,” He told her.

He didn’t want his friends to feel guilty for something that in retrospect was not so bad. Sure, he makes a big deal about going to those parties, but he does genuinely have a good time. That night he did take it too far, it was probably because it was the start of a new year, which also happened to be his last year. He was already not having a good day and all that mixed in with very good vodka, it was a recipe for disaster. Thinking about it, Yuuri didn’t know how the result came as such a shock. After all, what did he expect would happen when he acted so carelessly?

“The best we can do now is learn from all this,” JJ said as he walked on his other side. They exited the waiting room and started towards the elevators. “Now that we know the root of the problem you can work towards repairing the damage.”

He was probably referring to the Viktor situation. Dr. Bin had little to say about that actual situation, he seemed to think it was all just an accumulation of things that Yuuri has been holding in. Like his reason for accepting so easily all of Viktor’s insults instead of confronting him from the start was because he was used to it. He spotted the issue and saw it as something that hurt him, but that at the same time it was something that felt…normal. Maybe that was the real root of the problem, Yuuri thought. He needed to reevaluate his definition of what was normal.

“I suppose you are right,” Yuuri told his friends as they walked out of the building.

He said goodbye to both his friends at the door of his building. Isabella gave him a hug and told him they would see him at dinner. Apparently, they all thought the best way to get things to go back to normal was for all of them to eat together. In this case, he didn’t know what normal meant either. But he did want his friends to stop worrying about him, so he agreed and walked into the building. In the last three days, he had turned off his phone to the world, tried to stop thinking about life outside of his dorm room. Phichit was a little hard to ignore because he lived with him, and had not separated from him since they left Viktor’s room on Thursday. When Monday came around, they walked to class together, and then JJ came to grab him. He was never actually alone, and so he never felt like there was anything different. He knew that Phitchit kept their friends updated about him and exchange he was also kept updated on them.

When he reached his floor and the elevator doors opened, he realized that there were others who might be worried and were not receiving updates or a reason for his absence. Those who didn’t know what was going on, and who Yuuri pushed away by turning off his phone.

Yurio was sitting in the small sitting area by the elevators, he was looking down at his phone with a deep frown and stood up only when the doors pinged open. Their eyes met, what looked like relief flashed through his face, but it passed away quickly and settled on a pissed off scowl.

“So, you’re alive,” He stated coolly and pocketed his phone. Yuuri’s own phone was in his room, still off and untouched since the minute he walked into the room last Thursday. Only then did he realized he had forgotten to tell Yurio he would not be going over. He gave him no excuse or heads up, he had just disappeared for three days.

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri said as he dropped his head. He stared down at the ground not knowing what else to say. It felt like he was constantly apologizing now, and it didn’t make him feel any better. In front of him, he saw as a pair of feet stopped right in front of him.

“Are you okay, you look like you haven’t slept in days.” He heard Yurio say. “Have you been sick or something?” A hint of worry slipped through, but Yuuri didn’t comment on it.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you I was not coming over,” Yuuri said instead of replying to his question. Yuuri looked up only after a few minutes passed and Yurio had said nothing.

“Something happened right?” Yurio asked. “Everyone’s been acting strange. You didn’t come on Thursday, but Viktor did. He just locked himself with Makka in his room and didn’t come out until the next day. He would leave and come back, only to lock himself up again. Dad tried talking to him, but Viktor wouldn’t say anything. His eyes were always red too, so either he was smoking something, or he was crying. And knowing his dramatic ass, I can guess which one it was. I texted you so many times, but you didn’t reply,” Yurio said and fell silent.

Yuuri watched him fidget with his fingers and chew on his lip. He could tell that Yurio wanted to say something but didn’t know how. Guilt rose up inside of him again, he shouldn’t have shut off the world like that. Not when there were other people who didn’t know why he needed to do that.

“I went to that stupid party with Otabek, it was really shitty, and you weren’t there,” Yurio continued. “You said you would be there,” He added in almost a whisper.

“Yuri, I’m sorry for not texting you back. My phone died and…I didn’t feel like charging it for the time being,” Yuuri admitted.

“Viktor did something didn’t he?” Yurio asked in a tone laced with anger, his hands balled up into fists. “That piece of shit. Tell me what he did and I’ll beat him up,” Yurio hissed. Yuuri couldn’t help but chuckle a bit and was about to answer when the elevator doors pinged open and a group of residents came out. The small lobby area suddenly became too crowded.

“Come, I’ll explain everything,” Yuuri told him and gestured him to follow. Yurio did as told and trailed behind him as he made his way down the hall towards his room. It wasn’t until he was unlocking his door when he realized something. “How did you know what floor I live in?” Yuuri asked.

“I don’t, I was hanging out with Otabek and was just leaving when you walked out the elevator,” Yurio told him. Yuuri looked at him with a surprised expression, which only made Yurio roll his eyes.

“Since when are you and Otabek hanging out?” He asked with a smirk. It did nothing to melt Yurio’s pissed off expression. Yuuri opened his door and let Yurio walk in first. The room was dark which meant that Phichit was not back yet.

He watched as the younger boy looked around the room. Phichit was all about having a fully decorated room and Yuuri liked to hang up important things. They had a whole wall of pictures of their friends and family members. They had their respective country flags hanging side by side on the opposite wall and fairy lights over the window.

“I went to that stupid party with him, but it sucked so much we left to get ice cream instead. Two of his friends went with us, his roommate, and some other guy and…” Yurio shrugged as he looked around taking in the room, “I guess we’re all friends now or something. I don’t know, they texted me, asking if I wanted to play some game with them after class.”

Yuuri couldn’t help but smile at his friend. “You met Guang Hong and Leo, they’re really cool right,” Yuuri told him.

“I mean, I guess. They are not annoying yet,” He said nonchalantly and with another shrug. Yuuri chuckled at the fact that once he realized how annoying they could be it would be too late. “Are you going to tell me what happened?”

Yuuri’s smile dropped and he found himself looking down at his feet again. How could he explain the mess he had made when he was having a hard time trying to understand how they managed to make such a mess of things. It was almost funny, it was hilarious actually and if it weren’t him who was stuck in the middle of it, he would be laughing. Things like that didn’t happen under normal circumstances, it should have taken so much effort from both of them to continue their misunderstanding. There were so many moments where if they just talked or instead of judging, they had just listened; they would have figured it all out.

That was the part he was having a hard time wrapping his head around, it was the reason they allowed it to get so far. Why they automatically thought the worst of each other and why they never thought to simply ask. Why their assumptions of each other had gotten so distorted they negatively associated everything they did. 

“Viktor and I finally talked,” Yuuri told the younger boy in front of him. When the younger boy in front of him didn’t say anything Yuuri looked up. Yurio was looking at him with a surprised expression.

“So, what happened?” Yurio asked as he sat down on the chair right beside him. Yuuri took a deep breath and wondered if telling him was a good idea. He didn’t need Yurio making fun of him too.

“Viktor and I met at Chris’s party at the start of the new school year. I got really drunk and I don’t remember anything about that night. As far as I know, nothing happened. That is my version of the story, Viktor however, has a different version of that night and the months that followed,” Yuuri told him. Telling Yurio everything that Viktor told him three days ago felt surreal. It felt almost like he was telling him the overly complicated plot to some ridiculous fiction book he didn’t bother finishing because the main protagonists had pissed him off with their lack of communication.

Fortunately, Yurio didn’t interject much as he retold his shameful story. There were moments where he would comment on how stupid they both were, or how dramatic Viktor was being. Other times he would only roll his eyes, let out a low sigh, or looked like he was ready to strangle him or Viktor or maybe both of them. Yuuri could agree with him because he too wanted to strangle himself and Viktor at the same time.

“Wow, I mean, I knew you two were kind of idiots, but holy shit,” Yurio said once he had finished talking. “You do understand how incredibly toxic you two have been to each other, it’s very disconcerting.”

Yuuri stayed quiet because he could and did see how much they had both hurt each other and he didn’t know if they were capable of fixing it. It would take a while, and even then Yuuri was sure he would always feel guilt and that uneasiness he had around him. Yuuri sighed and fell back into his bed and stared up to the ceiling.

“Do you think that Viktor and I can never become friends after this?” He found himself asking. He heard the chair move closer to the bed and Yurio turning.

“I don’t know, do you want to be Viktor’s friend?” Yurio asked. “After everything?”

It was a tough question; he didn’t know what he wanted. He didn’t want to continue to hate Viktor, or for Viktor to hate him in return. He also didn’t want things to turn awkward either, because now more than ever they would have to be around each other. Phichit was dating Seung Gil now and that meant his friends would be around more. Which meant Viktor would be around more, aside from that, they now had Yurio in common too.

“I know we’re not going to be best friends or anything, but I think that I should at least…I don’t know, be friendly with him. He’s your brother and eventually, he’s going to find out we’re friends. Yakov wants him to go home more often and that means that we’ll cross paths eventually. Being in each other’s lives has become unavoidable, I think the last we can do is be on good terms.” He realized.

It was not going to be an overnight thing, and it was also not something he wanted to just shove under the carpet and pretend it didn’t happen. JJ had been right, now that he knew the root of the problem, he could work towards fixing it. He could not let this become a new normal for him or for Viktor. Part of him also wanted to show Viktor that he was not the person he thought he was. There were too many things Viktor had gotten wrong, starting by making him out to be some kind of untouchable celebrity that everyone liked. He was not some cool guy with people dying to just talk to him. He was also not that drunk person he first met, everything about that first meet set them up for failure. There was an unfair advantage that Yuuri had, in the last few months he’s been slowing learning things about Viktor that put him into a different light. Meanwhile, Viktor still had two very different versions of him, both being wrong.

“He’s hurting too, I guess I never realized how much this was actually affecting him. I just thought he was being dramatic again. Sometimes it’s hard to tell with him, he has this habit of either being overly open about things or just bottling them up. It’s frustrating honestly,” Yurio said. He got up and sat down next to him in the bed. He stated down at him with a worried expression. “I want to tell you to just avoid each other, but I know that neither of you is going to do that. So, I just hope you don’t hurt each other again.” Yurio cared, and that made Yuuri smile. He knew that deep down the blond boy really did care for Viktor, even if he hid it behind angry outbursts and name-calling.

“I promise I won’t do anything to deliberately hurt him,” Yuuri promised his friend. Yurio huffed and laid back in bed with him. They were side by side and neither said a word, it was a pleasant kind of silence. It allowed him to think of all the things he could do to make things better. He hadn’t even properly apologized to Viktor for his side of the misunderstanding. He hadn’t explained why he did the things he did, he only yelled in his face that he used to have a crush on him. Just thinking about that made his groan and bury his face into his pillow on his side.

“Are you okay now, I don’t know how anxiety attacks work so I don’t know if…I’m making it worst by being here,” Yurio said after a couple of minutes in silence.

“I’m fine now, I took my medication and talked to Dr. Bin about it,” Yuuri told Yurio who relaxed beside him. “I just…I was embarrassed more than anything and it makes things feel worst. This whole weekend I was more or less hiding because I didn’t have to face the consequences to my actions,” He admitted. He could do that much now.

“Well, it is embarrassing so I can see why you would want to hide,” Yurio said with a teasing tone. Yuuri raised his arm and let it fall on top of Yurio’s stomach with light force. Yurio bent forward taking the blow and started wheezing and laughing at the same time.

“You have no compassion for my pain,’ Yuuri glared at him and laid back on his bed. Beside him, his so-called friend continued to laugh and ask how it was possible for two people to be so clueless. He wondered the same thing too. “Shouldn’t be in class anyways, if Yakov finds out you’re skipping he’s going to be pissed.”

“It starts in half an hour, plus it’s a stupid writing class I have an A in anyways,” Yurio said dismissively. “Are you going over tomorrow, hopefully by then Viktor would stop mopping around and go back to his dorm,” He added.

“Don’t you think that maybe Viktor is over because he wants a little sympathy from you?”

“If he’s looking for sympathy, then he came to the wrong place,” Yurio promptly stated, “Plus, it’s not like he’s letting anyone close either. Dad has tried talking to him, but Viktor just ignores him or says to leave him alone. He said he’s just there because he doesn’t want to annoy his friend.”

Yuuri felt bad that Viktor was also having a hard time on top of everything. After all, he’s the one who’s been hurting the longest, Yuuri regretted everything he had intentionally or unintentionally said.

“You said you went to that party, how was it?” Yuuri asked in an effort to change the subject.

“Dumb as hell, it was so boring. Even Otabek said it was, he mentioned that some of his friends were not going so it wouldn’t be as fun as it usually was. When Leo and Guang Hong got there we all decided to leave instead,” Yurio told him. Yuuri could hear a hint of excitement as he talked about his new friends. “You know, you say you are not popular, but everyone was asking about you and your friend Phichit. I saw Viktor too, but he looked just as bored as everyone there. I think he was waiting for you to show up.”

He sighed as everything circled back to Viktor. “Where did you go with Otabek and the others?” He asked ignoring his last comment and hoping Yurio caught on.

“For ice cream, it was not far and then we walked around campus. I showed them the grounds around my house, they apparently never been to the President’s house. They mentioned you a couple of times to themselves, they said you were doing better. So  
I figured you were probably sick or something.”

Sick or something sounded about right. He didn’t feel well the entire weekend, and while part of him felt guilty for not going to the party he had promised Yurio he would go to, he was glad he stayed home. Should he had said home six months ago he would not be in the mess he was now.

“I’m better now,” Yuuri told him.

“You really are just hiding huh?” Yurio asked. “How long do you think you can go before you have to face Viktor again?”

Yuuri raised his arm and looked at his imaginary watch before answering. “Until dinner time.”

The idea of having dinner with all of his friends and his best friend’s boyfriend’s friends made his head spin. He knew that there was a possibility that would happen, and it wasn’t like he had anything against Seung Gil or his friends. Georgi and Mila were actually pretty cool people. It was Viktor and Chris he was worried about.

“What does that mean?’ Yurio asked while sitting up and looking down at him.

“Phichit and Seung Gil finally got together and Viktor is Seung Gil’s friend. Naturally, they will start hanging out with us from now on,” Yuuri replied trying to make it sound like it was no big deal. After all, it was not a big deal. It was just another reason why he couldn’t just avoid Viktor for the rest of his life.

“That’s stupid, why do you have to hang out with him when you don’t feel comfortable around him yet?” That was a very good question.

“Because sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do,” Yuuri told him. “Like going to a writing class that starts in a few minutes.” He added. The blond beside him simply rolled his eyes but got up.

“Will your anxiety get worst if you see him again?” He asked while he grabbed his bag off the floor.

“I have to see him eventually; we have a class tomorrow. We also have a group project to work on, so it’s not like I avoid him for long. I just needed some time to myself, that’s all, I’m fine.” He said trying to sound as convincing as possible. He even tried looking him in the eye to make it more believable. Yurio looked at for a long second before he nodded with no farther questions, and Yuuri knew he had been successful.

“I’ll see you later.” It was not a question but a statement. Yurio didn’t even bother to wait for a reply, he walked out the door and closed it behind him with a soft click.

Once more he was alone in his room and decided to plug in his phone. It did take him a bit of looking around for it and after a few minutes of searching, he found it wedged between his bed and the bedside table. He was in the middle of watching his phone come to life when the door opened and Phichit walked in.

“Hey, how was it?” He asked as soon as the door closed.

Yuuri told him what he had told JJ and Isabella. Yuuri couldn’t say he took it better or worst than his other friends, he did sit down on his own bed and silence fell between them for a while. Yuuri gave his friend time to gather himself and busied himself by looking through the long queue of messages he had received. All his friends had sent encouraging messages and told him to take all the time he needed, and they would be waiting for him. It made him feel warm inside and he smiled to himself. Other messages came from Yurio asking him where he was, he messaged him multiple times throughout the last three days. The last one came only an hour ago, probably when he met him by the elevators.

**Yurio: Just text me soon, so I know you are still alive or something. Everyone is worried about you.**

At first, he had been confused by what he meant by everyone, then he saw the rest of the people who had messaged him. He had two from Yakov, one asking if he and Viktor had gotten into a fight and the next if he was okay. There were three from Lilia asking the same question, and the last one letting him know she would understand if he missed class on Tuesday. Lastly, and maybe the one that surprised him the most was from Yurio’s grandpa. He opened that one almost as soon as he saw it.

**The Pirozhki King: Yura is worried about you. Take your time, but call him when you can. Hope to hear from you soon. Don’t think I’ve forgotten about those pictures of pirozhki you and my grandson promised me.**

Yurio must have called him in those last three days. Whatever Yurio told his grandpa must have worried him enough to him into sending the message. He wondered why they sounded like they knew exactly what had happened to him, it was highly unlikely that Viktor told him. When he had told Yurio about his anxiety attack after Viktor had told him everything, he didn’t seem surprised. His best bet was probably that Lilia told them something like that could have happened, especially if Viktor had gone home to mope around, as Yurio had put it.

“Yuuri?” Phichit asked from the other side of the room. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just didn’t realize how many people I worried by going MIA for three days,” he admitted. He texted everyone back quickly, letting them know he was okay and that he appreciated their messages.

“We were all worried, but you’re okay now. And they all get to see you tonight, we thought it would be better if we just had dinner at the cafeteria instead of trying to find a restaurant that could fit us all,” Phichit told him with a light chuckle.

It was true, their little group was getting bigger. Yuuri thought back to the beginning of everything when it was just him and Phichit having lunch occasionally until it became an everyday thing. Then they added JJ, it had been fun when it was just the three of them too. Soon his friends from the fraternity, Emil, and Michele joined and that was followed by pure chaos. With them came Sara and her roommate Isabella, and things were never the same again. It was almost a whole year later before Isabella and JJ started dating, then he started his band. Leo and Guang Hong joined them in the new year and for a while, it was just them.

Somehow Otabek was dragged into their mess, and now they had five new members to welcome. It felt crazy to think of it now, especially when he thought back to the past when he only had Takeshi and Yuuko as friends he saw occasionally outside of school. If only Minako could see him now, she would be so proud. And Yuuri would be so happy to tell her that everything she had promised him that day came true.

***

He was not fine and going to dinner with all his friends, especially when they would be joined by other people, didn’t make him feel nervous. It wasn’t like he didn’t like them; they were nice people…some of them. No, they were all good people, it would just take some time to get used to the idea of seeing Viktor and Chris in a different light, even when he was now fully aware of why they acted the way they did. Those reasons also made him feel mortified, and he knew that his friends were not intentionally being malicious with their intent of including them into their group, but it still didn’t stop him from feeling cornered.

He didn’t know what to say to Viktor when he saw him. He didn’t want to pretend everything was fine when it wasn’t. It would not be fair for either of them to do that, and he knew that eventually, he would have to apologize more explicitly. The thing was, he didn’t feel ready to do it yet. It was going to be an awkward affair and he didn’t want to go into it unprepared like last time. This time he wanted to be ready for the unexpected. It could either go incredibly smooth or it could all go to hell, but Yuuri needed to be prepared mentally for whatever outcome. Part of him was just scared that it would all happen during dinner, he knew his friends were around him, and he had taken his medication. Still, he was anxious about it.

He and Phichit met up with Otabek and Guang Hong in the hallway as they waited for the elevator. The first sign that things would be good was the lack of awkwardness in their greetings and the conversation that followed. Almost as if he had not been missing for the last three days, they reverted to old conversations. Guang Hong told them about the extra rehearsals they had in order to get ready for their last performance of the year.

They had two original songs prepared they would be singing, one of those was of course JJ’s song. As for the other, both Leo and Guang Hong had been sworn to secrecy by JJ and were not allowed to even talk about it, but apparently it was a collaboration with the school’s orchestra. They tried to get more out of him but Guang Hong was a tough nut to crack when it came to promises. They let it go simply because they knew it would be easier to get it out of Leo if they really wanted to.

The six o’clock dinner crowd was not as big as the noon crowd, but there were still big lines. Luckily Phichit had prepared for it and had Emil and Michele come in earlier so they could save them a larger table. Yuuri spotted them when they walked in, simply because it was easy to see the two boys sitting on opposite sides of what was two tables pushed together. Yuuri thought it was the funniest thing he’s seen all day. They were soon joined by JJ, Isabella, and Sara.

“What do you want to get?” Phichit asked as they got in line.

Yuuri was half tempted to tell him he wanted to get the hell out of there, but instead, he told him he was getting a salad. He didn’t think he could hold in anything greasy at the moment and he didn’t want to test his luck. He thought he had gotten a grip on the situation as he paid for his food and waited for his friends to do the same. That changed when they started towards their table and it was already full. The others had joined them and there were only four seats left open.

He didn’t know if it had just happened or if it was on purpose, but Viktor was sitting on the opposite side of the table in between Chris and Mila. As he stood in front of his seat he realized there were definitely too many of them in one place and realized that Phichit had been smart on his call of having their group dinner in the cafeteria and not anywhere else in public.

Yuuri smiled at those who greeted him and started a conversation with Otabek who sat next to him or at least tried to. It was uncomfortable and he knew everyone could feel it too. It was like a heavy blanket of awkwardness fell around them slowly suffocating every intention of conversation. No one wanted to acknowledge the giant elephant in the room and Yuuri wondered if they were really out of the woods yet. Beside him Phichit was glancing at him with remorseful eyes, probably just realized what a horrible idea this had been. They had moved too fast and his friend’s intentions, no matter how noble they had been, were actually making things worst. He felt like maybe he should say something to Viktor, something that told everyone that the water had cleared, and they were on good terms. But how could he when he couldn’t even look at him. He could feel eyes on him, he didn’t know who’s, but they were watching him and it was making it worst.

“Yuri, what are you doing here?” Viktor asked suddenly. Yuuri’s head snapped up to look at Viktor with wide eyes. His body braced itself for whatever mean thing Viktor would say next, but when he looked at Viktor, he was looking behind him instead. Before he could ask or turn, he heard a voice behind him.

“Move over.” Yurio’s characteristic stark tone made his whole body turn in the direction of his blond friend who was standing behind him. Yuuri felt his mouth fall open as he saw him there. He broke from his trance when Otabek was the one who moved aside to allow space for Yurio to sit in between them. He pulled up a chair from a table nearby.

“Fine, my ass,” He mumbled as he sat down and placed a plastic box in the table in front of him. Now all eyes were on their unexpected new addition and Yuuri forgot all about the uneasiness that was starting to bubble inside of him. He opened his mouth to ask him what he was doing when it became clear to him. Yurio was taking the attention for himself because had seen right through him. “Lilia told me to give you those,” He added and slid the box towards him.

“You’re Viktor’s little brother,” JJ said while pointing a fork at him.

Yuuri felt Yurio tense up beside him and he expected him to shout the fact he was in no way related to Viktor. Instead, he sighed loudly and sat back in his chair. Yuuri called that growth and he was so proud of him. He smiled as he reached over for the box and opened it. Inside he saw the familiar pink of Lilia’s dessert, zefir, if he recalled correctly.

“Shut up Katsudon,” Yurio said beside him. Yuuri looked at him not losing his smile.

“I didn’t say anything.” Yuuri chuckled. Around him, everyone was throwing them confused looks. “Although I must say, I am proud,” He added as he took a bite of a zefir.

“I just figured that Yakov would appreciate me not denying my…unfortunate relation with…Viktor,” He managed to say in between teeth. Something about that sentence put him on immediate alert and the smile fell, it could have been his tone or the way he sat down a bit forward instead of sprawling on the chair like he usually does.

“Since when are you considerate of your father’s wishes?” The blond boy didn’t speak up right away and the feeling that something was wrong was confirmed. Yuuri narrowed his eyes at his younger friend.

“Dad kicked me out of the house,” Yurio said too nonchalantly for the kind of reply he gave.

“What, why!” Viktor was the first to react but was ignored by his younger brother. 

“Yurio, what did you do?” Yuuri asked. The list of things he could have done was extensive and it was easier to just ask then to try and guess. Yakov getting mad was not rare, Yuuri had gotten to know him to the point it was clear that he lived in a state of constant irritation towards one of his sons. He loved them, that much was true, that didn’t mean he didn’t want to strangle at least one of them at a given time. If anything, he applauds his self-control.

“It’s not my fault okay, how was I supposed to know he would be so…” Yurio took a deep breath before continuing. “I didn’t think he would actually do something I suggested. I just figured he would ask for your opinion and you would tell him it was a stupid idea and give him a better one. But you didn’t show up on Thursday and he went to buy it this weekend, and it’s all half your fault too!”

Yuuri looked at him perplexed as he took in every word he had just said and tried to make some sense of it. He could not and his head hurt just trying to.

“I have no idea what you just said, what did you tell him to do, and why is it bad?” He asked calmly. Yurio was getting frustrated and it would help no one if he went into a yelling rampage. Instead, he passed the zefir box to Phichit and signaled to pass it around, which would hopefully keep them busy while he tried to make some sense of the boy beside him. Phichit took the box while sending him a whats-going-on look that he ignored because he could only deal with one issue at a time.

Yurio growled in frustration. “You know how it’s Lilia’s birthday tomorrow,” He started, and it was Yuuri’s turn to freak out.

“It’s what?” He started to panic. Normally it shouldn’t matter when his teacher’s birthday was, only that this time he knew his teacher personally and it seemed rude not to get her something. “Oh god, since when!” He tried to think of something he could get her in such short notice.

“Since she was born,” Yurio told him with a smirk that earned him an elbow to the ribs. “Ow, I didn’t know until my dad asked me what to get her, and that was on Wednesday. Don’t worry though, I got us covered,” Yurio told him. There were so many things he wanted to ask him, but one part caught his attention more.

“Yuri, what did you tell Yakov to get Lilia?” Yuuri looked at the boy as he tried to keep a straight face. Thousands of horrible potential gift ideas crossed his mind, Yuuri just hoped that whatever Yakov got her was not too inappropriate. Maybe they still had time to return whatever he had bought and get something by tomorrow night. Lilia didn’t look like someone who was very materialistic, although she was very stylish, so maybe a nice handbag or perfume would be a good idea. The fact Yurio was not responding, however, made him very anxious.

“Yuri. What did Yakov buy?” He asked again. Around them, their friends had fallen silent and were also waiting for Yurio’s response. Viktor looked between them with a confused expression but he didn’t say anything.

“Well, I might have suggested that…it would be very…romantic if he…proposed on her birthday.”

When it came to unexpected answers, Yurio always managed to surprise him. And as such, Yuuri rarely knew how to react to them. He thought that as time went on and he got to know his blond friend those answers would become predictable or at the very most not as shocking. He was wrong yet again. He didn’t know how to react to the revelation, but Viktor did. 

“What!” Viktor exclaimed from the other side of the table. “Who the hell is Lila and why is dad thinking of proposing to her. What is going here?”

Yuuri turned over to look at Viktor who was leaning over the table and looking straight at his brother with a bewildered expression. In that outburst a very important piece of information was revealed, one that up to that moment he had not realized.

“You don’t know who Lilia is?” Yuuri asked tilting his head to the side. How could Viktor not know who his father was dating, it’s been a couple of months now, how many dinners had he not been invited to and declined. Had the nature of those dinners never been disclosed to him? He had the feeling that it was probably Yurio’s doing if that was the case. However, that was a conversation for a different day. Now they had a bigger problem in their hands, one that if not handled appropriately would get them a girlfriendless dad or a new mom.

“I don’t even know who you two know each other,” Viktor said looking between them. Viktor didn’t seem angry about it, but he also didn’t necessarily look happy.

“Lilia is dad’s girlfriend; you would know that if you actually came home or to the dinners, we’ve been inviting you to. You would also know that Katsudon is now practically part of the family. But you live with your head so far up your ass that it’s impossible for you to care about anything that is not you. Maybe that is why some people don’t like you.”

The bomb went off and Yuuri was left only sighing and sitting back into his chair. He didn’t know what to say at that moment, it was not his place to comment either. It was something that Viktor and Yurio needed to work through on their own. However, Viktor only stared at his brother, not reacting to what Yurio had yelled at him in the middle of dinner with all his friends around. It was odd because whenever he had done it, Viktor always yelled back. It was strange watching him just sit there taking those hits and not trying to defend himself. Yuuri reached out and gave Yurio a pat on the shoulder when he looked like he was getting ready to continue.

“Don’t try to defend him, he knows it’s true,” Yurio said, and then turned to him. “Now to what is actually important here.”

“Right the important part, which is what, the part where you made your father buy something that dooms his relationship with someone he really likes?” Yuuri asked. Yurio glared at him.

“I just thought it would be funny to watch your face when my dad told you what he was thinking of buying Lilia. But you didn’t show up,” Yurio tried to explain himself. Yuuri had to admit that it would have been a very interesting conversation. “But like always Viktor finds a way of fucking everything up for everyone.”

Yuuri didn’t know how any of that was Viktor’s fault. Nonetheless, Viktor didn’t seem to have any intention of stepping in and defending himself once more. He was starting to wonder if their location was the proper one to be having such conversations.

“Yurio,” Yuuri sighed and turned to look at his friend, hoping that he would read the room. Everyone was staring at them and that didn’t make him feel much better. “Viktor has nothing to do with this, let’s just move on and find a solution to this,” He told him. He was also about to suggest they leave so they could come up with that solution away from Viktor, who was clearly triggering his anger.

“You talk so high and mighty, but have you ever stopped and looked at yourself for once. You are always pointing out what is wrong with what I do, but how about we talk about what is wrong with you?” Viktor spoke up. The tension rose and it felt like everyone instinctively sat back trying to make as much distance from the table and themselves. Yurio glared at his brother and from the corner of his eye he saw his hands fist up in his lap.

Knowing that this conversation was going to get nowhere, Yuuri took out his phone and busied himself in searching for a decent gift for Lilia. He didn’t know her very well if he was honest. He knew she took her job very seriously and was an avid lover of all the arts. She favored fine arts, but she never turned away from performing art. During that first summer, after he completed his freshman year, he sighted up for a summer course she offered. They took a trip to the art institute of Chicago and while they were there, she had taken them to a ballet, it had been Don Quixote and he was enamored almost instantly with everything about it. His professor seemed to have shared his sentiment.

He searched for upcoming performances he could get tickets to; it would be a nice date idea for Yakov and Lilia. It would also show that Yakov put some thought into his gift. Meanwhile, around him, Yurio and Viktor continued to argue. He was typing in his card information when he heard his name being said, he knew they were referring to him based on the tone.

“I rather not be brought into your fight, honestly,” Yuuri informed them as he checked out and waited for confirmation of his purchase.

“Are you going to start taking Vitkor’s side now?” Yurio asked bitterly. “I knew it would happen,” He added.

“I’m not taking anyone’s side here,” he told them and then showed him his phone.

“But if you had to, who would you pick?” Yurio asked. They shared a look, one that confirmed the fact that he was not just talking about just sides anymore. He didn’t expect to be wedged between the rivalry of two bothers when he accepted Yakov’s offer. He didn’t think that such a question would ever come up. It was a complicated choice because the answer at that moment was very clear, he would choose Yurio. But that was not fair for Viktor, because everything he knew about him was wrong. Making a choice then would be unfair and would only serve as a way of making him feel like a shitty person.

“My mental health probably,” He replied. Dr. Bin would be so proud of his response. Yurio deflated beside him, probably now reading the room and realizing he was not helping the cause.

“Sorry,” Yurio mumbled. In front of them, Viktor looked taken back by his brother’s apology but didn’t comment on it. Yuuri thought was for the best, small miracles did happen every once in a while.

“Here I fixed it.” He told Yurio trying to get the conversation back on track.

Yurio took his phone and looked at it. “Tickets, that’s how you fixed it?” The blond boy didn’t sound convinced. He scrolled through to read what his dad and his girlfriend would be watching. “Swan Lake, how cliché,” he added as he handed the phone back.

“Hey, it’s better than an unsolicited marriage proposal. I can’t make miracles happen, this is the best I can do in such a limited time,” He replied. He felt rather proud of himself of how quickly he was able to find a solution. Now if only he could be that quick with everything in his life.

“I guess you’re right,” Yurio mumbled. “We’re putting together a small dinner celebration tomorrow. Dad wanted me to ask if you are up for making Katsudon and Pirozhki?”

He liked the idea, it also helped make everything feel like it was going back to normal. How having dinner with Yurio, Yakov, and Lilia became his normal, he didn’t know, but it was. He enjoyed their conversations as they ate, and it brought a sense of home to his life.

“Of course,” he told him. “It all works out because your grandpa messaged me this weekend. He is getting impatient; he wants pictures of our Pirozhki attempt.” 

“My grandpa messaged you….you have his number?” Yurio asked surprised and reached out for the phone again. He looked surprised and terrified at the same time. Yuuri took it and put it back in his pocket.

“Yeah, how else are we supposed to talk about you?” Yuuri half-joked.

Yakov had given Nikolai his number when he received the first messages he too had been surprised and slightly terrified. They rarely talked, but during his recovery period, he had been worried about how Yurio was dealing with it. He had heard from Yakov the fight they had, which only made him worry more about his grandson. Yuuri gave him occasional updates, which he appreciated. Yurio looked at him speechless look and slumped back into his seat. Now that their sudden emergency was taken care of silence fell among them again.

“Are you seriously eating at salad?” Yurio asked when he looked at the untouched tray in front of him.

“There is nothing wrong with my salad,” Yuuri said and then sat up. His friends still look at him waiting for an explanation. “Okay, so this is my friend Yurio…”

“It’s Yuri,” Yurio hissed in his direction.

Yuuri smiled and continued. “And these are my friends.” He went around the table saying their names. After a small introduction, everyone stopped just staring and went back to their food by then.

“How did you two become friends?” Otabek asked.

“I heard someone was about to beat Viktor up so obviously that person had to be my friend,” Yurio replied. Otabek looked like he wanted to laugh but didn’t know if it was appropriate. Yuuri did because the thought of him fighting someone was too funny.

“Right, Yuuri getting into a fight…with his noodle arms, that hilarious,” Phichit laughed while picking up his arm to show.

“Bitch I’ll fight you,” Yuuri clapped back. Phichit laughed harder, the others around him followed. Emil and Michele started to place bets on who would win, Yuuri felt betrayed by all his friends as one by one they all took Phichit’s side.

“Come at me bro, I know karate,” Phichit told him and showed him his arms. They were by no means any different than his.

“And I know about the shrine you…” He was cut off by Phichit covering his mouth and pulling him towards him. Yuuri might not like violence but he was not against playing dirty to get out of getting hurt.

“Okay, no need for violence, we’re all friends here,” He hissed. Yuuri pushed his friend back and got out of his hold. “I will cut you,” Phichit mumbled in his direction and then turned to Seung Gil with an innocent smile.

“Point to noodle arms,” Sara cheered.

The silence didn’t return, instead, they all started to question Yurio about his opinions on certain topics. The joking that followed was enough for Yuuri to know that his friends had already accepted Yurio into their group. Especially since Phichit was already calling him Yurio from the minute he had been introduced and Guang Hong was inviting him to eat with them more often. Viktor didn’t interject much from his side of the table and mostly kept conversation between himself and his friends. He did throw Yurio the occasional look, he didn’t ask anything more because Yurio would just ignore him or tell him to shut up. There were a few instances where their eyes would meet and Yuuri only send him a half-smile.

It was late when he and Phichit walked back to their dorms. They had all dispersed when the cafeteria staff was starting to kick students out so they could close. Their walk back was quiet, which was odd even if it was just the two of them. Phichit was the type to always have something to say, this time it seemed he didn’t. It wasn’t until the door closed behind them that his friend spoke up.

“I have so many questions, and I have a feeling you are only going to partially answer them,” Phichit said as soon as he walked into the room.

“You know me so well,” Yuuri told him and sat up from his bed and patted the spot in front of him. “What do you want to know?” He added.

“Everything, how do you know Viktor’s brother. And don’t think I forgot about the blog post, what the hell was that about?” Phichit exploded as he pulled on his hair.

So, he told him how he got an email from Mr. Feltsman, how he asked him to tutor his son. He told him about his first meeting with Yurio and their goal to get him to Russia. He told him about getting to know Yurio and becoming his friend. Yuuri had to stop and reassure Phichit that he was still his best friend and that no, no punk ass angry boy was going to replace him. And with sweaty hands, he told him about what had happened in the bathroom at Emil’s party, and how their shirts got switched.

“Oh my god!” Phichit exclaimed multiple times though out the story. Especially when he got to the part where he was hiding under the bed and his phone started ringing. “Yuuri, you cannot be more oblivious to what is going on here. Viktor literally made out with you, what else does he need to do so you’ll realize he likes you?”

“I don’t know Phichit, maybe telling me,” Yuuri said exasperated, he though his hands up in the air and sighed loudly. “All I kept thinking at that moment was that he was playing a game with me. He’s done it before; he’s been nice to me one minute and then backhanded me with an insult out of nowhere.”

“He likes you Yuuri, but I guess the real question here is whether you like him back or not.”

Phichit had a point and Yuuri had too much in his head to be able to think and give an honest answer. He used to like Viktor, but his crush was fully based on looks and what he saw from far away. He didn’t really know who Viktor was, all he knew were bits and pieces of what other people said. And even what he thought he did know turned out to be a misunderstanding on both their parts.

“I don’t know Phichit, probably not,” Yuuri said with a sigh. “I don’t see how he can like me either if all he knows has been a misconception of who I am. And if he likes me based on that then he doesn’t like the real me,” Yuuri added.

Phichit stayed quiet and they both lost themselves in thought. Yuuri thought back at what he told Otabek about it not mattering wither or not he became friends with Viktor, since after graduation they would go different ways. But that was not entirely true, because now they had Yurio in common. He was not going to stop being Yurio’s friend, he had literally just promised him that.

“Maybe I could try and get to know him a bit. It wouldn’t hurt I guess,” Yuuri finally said and Phichit gave him an encouraging smile.

Yuuri leaned back on his bed and looked up the blog post, he knew that he really shouldn’t read it, but he couldn’t help it. He’s been putting it off, scared of what he would read but if he wanted to know what everyone was now thinking about him, the best place to start was with that damn post. As he pulled it up on his phone he rolled his eyes and started to read.

**\--Secret love affair between rivals: Everything you need to know about what is really going on between The Viktor/Yuuri Feud and what it all means. --**

_This year brought us not only a hot new Russian beauty, but also the most entertaining rivalry between Yuuri Katsuki, everyone’s favorite cinnamon roll, and our new and mysterious Russian student Viktor Nikiforov. While Yuuri Katsuki is in his last semester and is seen at every party with his best friend Phichit Chulanont, there is very little we know about the guy. In the four years he’s been a student here, we have never seen him date anyone, and while the rumors that he was in a relationship with his best friend slash roommate Phichit, were never denied, they were also never confirmed._

_He is and has always been one of this school's most talented artists, winning the grand Artist award four times in a row. He has also been taught by some of the best in Japan before coming to Detroit. Minako Okukawa, one of Japan’s most decorated artist has always been tagged along with Yuuri, and Yuuri has dedicated his awards to her more than once._

_In an almost similar retrospect, Viktor Nikiforov has been an equally as talented artist in New York before moving to Detroit last fall. So, their rivalry came to no surprised to the student body. We have been witnesses to more than one outburst from the two, and their hatred for each other has been documented and shared on multiple occasions. And that is why what happened at Emil’s Spring Party left me a little shocked._

_Above I showed two pieces of evidence to prove my theory that Viktor and Yuuri don’t actually hate each other but are actually in a secret relationship. Why the relationship is a secret, that is a question I don’t have an answer to…yet. However, it could have something to do with their own talent and their position at school._

Yuuri stopped reading after that, she went on to compare their art styles and how it was really all a call out to each other, whatever that meant. He would have found the whole thing amusing if he was not embarrassed that people were actually reading it, the post had more than a thousand comments and even more views.

He also had never felt like Viktor could have been a rival because of how talented he was. In fact, the idea of having someone as talented as Viktor in his class excited him. There had been a time where he wished to learn something from him. He would be lying if that was not the bases for many of the scenarios he made up in his head as possible ways to talk to him. Not that he would ever actually try and recreate them in real life, because back then the mere idea of talking to him was terrifying.

He wonders what would have happened if none of these misunderstandings happened, would he still be admiring him from afar too scared to even approach him? Knowing himself, that was a big probability and that made him even more embarrassed with himself. He was twenty-three, and he still couldn’t talk to some guy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh guys it's been a week for me. Sorry for the very late update. Hope you enjoyed it!


	14. Breaking The Ice

Yuuri had a sister, one that he had not seen in over five years. So, he knew what having a sibling was like. Mari was the eldest and as the firstborn, she was given the responsibility to take care of him, and she did. Mari was very protective, and while she was not very open in showing her affection, Yuuri knew that she cared for him. That was why he lied to her the most. He lied when he came home with bruises or when he needed a new notebook because his old one suddenly went missing. To her, he must have been the most clumsy and forgetful little brother she could have been stuck with.

He lied to her because he loved her, and the last thing he wanted was for her to feel bad for something that was happening to him and that she had no control over. It was not her fault he was so easy to tease or to push around. It was not her fault he was disliked by everyone his age. It was also not her fault that one day he had left to go far away, or that he ran from everything that had hurt him. It was not her that Yuuri had not gone back once since she said goodbye to him at the train station all those years ago. It was not her fault he was the worst brother in the world.

Distance, however, for an older sister meant nothing. Mari used to call him every week to remind him he had a family and occasionally scold him for something, most likely his inability to answer the phone. As the years passed those phone calls started to grow farther apart until it was an occasional call every month. The same went with his only friends back in Hasetsu, they used to call him often, and now it was surprising when he got a call from any of them. He didn’t blame them, after all the phone worked both ways, and just like he was, they too were moving forward with their lives. His own calls back home began to gain greater distance between them as well. He called on holidays, he called when it was anyone’s birthday or when something exceptionally big and exciting happened, but that was it.

He also had social media, and just because he rarely posted anything it didn’t mean he didn’t check it regularly. He knew the important things that were happening in the small town he used to call home. He was not completely out of the loop, but in being so far away it felt like everyone back in Hasetsu was living at a different pace than him.

Mari was very good a not bringing up things that were hard to talk about. That was the reason Yuuri liked talking to her the most. She didn’t ask the hard questions, like why he left or when he was coming back. She never asked if something had chased him away or that when he was ready to talk, she would be there. His mother did, she would ask if everything had truly been alright when he lived there. She would cry and Yuuri would cry too and then hang up. He hated hanging up the most, and he knew that everyone else did too. Talking to Minako was different in many ways because she didn’t ask any of those questions, she didn’t have to because she knew everything. With Minako, he couldn’t lie, he could only tell her the truth. With Mari, he didn’t have to lie anymore. He was happy with his life and he was happy he could tell them the truth for once.

“I’m glad everything is working out for you,” Mari told him over the phone, there was a short pause before she continued. “I’m so proud of you, it must not be easy being over there,” She added. It was the same conversation they’ve been having for years. She always praised him for being able to handle studying in a different country, for getting good grades and winning awards. He wanted to tell her he did it for them, to show them that coming to Detroit was not a waste of time. To prove that he was not just running away and that in some ways it had been better for him to be studying abroad.

“I think I have a good handle on things by now, but I do miss you all,” He said. He leaned back on the wooden bench he was sitting on and looked out into the green grass in front of him. He said it so casually that sometimes he wondered if they believed it. It wasn’t like he could fully explain how much he truly missed them without them begging him to come back.

“Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. Minako came to visit us this weekend,” Mari said excitedly. Yuuri knew that Minako had been in Fukuoka for the opening of a new museum, she was close enough that a visit was not out of the question. “She told us she’ll be going to your graduation.”

“What, really?” Yuuri sat up. He was not expecting that, sure Minako had done so much for him, but she was a very busy woman. He was sure that like his family, she would be too busy to come all the way to Michigan to sit through a three-hour commencement ceremony. And he would have never dreamed to ask her, even if he secretly had hoped for her to come to see him. 

“She said she had made all the arrangements to make it possible. And we both know how busy she’s been lately and that is not even the best part.” Mari exclaimed. Despite how tired she had sounded a few minutes ago, now she was hyped up about something. “Minako said I could go with her. So, I’m coming to your graduation too!” 

“Really?” He managed to ask. Yuuri could feel his eyes tear up. He was going to see his sister and that made him feel so happy.

“Yes, we are also going to go to that exhibition event you’ll be in. Minako said that there are a few people she wants to introduce you to. I’m so excited, I thought none of us were going to be there for you. Mom is so happy too, and you can come back with us too. That way you don’t have to travel alone when you come back home,” Mari started to ramble and Yuuri’s hand tighten around his phone. He closed his eyes briefly as the tried to come up with a way to tell her that would not be possible.

“Mari,” Yuuri said to stop her, by then she was already talking about getting his room cleaned before they left. Mari stopped mid-sentence when she heard his tone. “I don’t think I’ll be able to go back right after graduation. Phichit and I still have to move out of the dorm, and we haven’t found a place yet.” He told her.

Their old summer lodging had belonged to JJ’s aunt who was always away for work, so they had taken up residence in her apartment during their summer vacations for the last three years. It had been nice, and JJ’s aunt even offered to let them stay during the school year as well. JJ thought it was a great idea at first until they all realized how long their commute to school would be every day, and if they had chosen to live off campus it would limit their interactions with everyone else. Living on campus was always easier and convenient. Luckily, JJ still had access to that apartment and he’s aunt offered to let them stay until they all found their own place. It took away the worry that they would be homeless the minute they graduated, but they were still stressing about the rent rates and pet policies in the city.

“Oh,” was all Mari said, her tone clearly of disappointment. 

“Sorry, I just need to leave everything in order here before I can go visit you guys. I promised Yuuko that I would be there for her wedding,” He told his sister hoping that was enough to make her excited.

“To visit,” She mumbled, it was low enough that if his surroundings had not been equally as quiet, he would have missed it. Guilt rose up inside of him, but Mari spoke up before he could. “Okay, I can’t wait to see you, little brother.”

“I can’t wait to see you too, I’ve missed you,” Yuuri said. From the corner of his eye, he saw Makkachin running in his direction, not far from him was Yurio. “Go to sleep, it so late over there,” He added. His sister yawned as a response and after a goodbye, they hung up. He put his phone down and started to pet Makkachin.

“Who was it?” Yurio asked as he sat down next to him. They were in front of the President’s house overlooking the big backyard that only Makkachin ever took advantage of.

When Yuuri had gotten out of class he bypassed everyone and made his way straight to Yurio’s house. It had been Yakov who had asked him to come over when they saw each other earlier that morning. The poor man had probably been freaking out all night and only felt true relief when Yuuri told him of the tickets. As a result, he and Yurio had been tasked with the birthday set up, it was not something either of them was necessary excited about, but it was safe to assume it was all punishment for Yurio’s little joke, and Yuuri was there as damage control. As retaliation Yurio had suggested going over the top with balloons and birthday candles. Yuuri had been every tempted but Yakov trusted him and he was not going to let him down. At first, they scouted the backyard to see if it was a suitable location to hold a very small birthday dinner. It was not. In the end, they concluded that it was best to simply get out the nice tablecloth and set everything up in the dining room. His sister had called him in the middle of planning and Yuuri took the call outside. Yurio gave him space up, but apparently that only meant an hour.

“My sister,” Yuuri replied and shoved his phone into his back pocket. “She just told me she’s coming to my graduation.” He smiled and looked at his friend who smiled back.

“That’s good,” Yurio said and then waved him to get up. “Come on we still have to go buy all the stuff for Katsudon and Pirozhki.”

Yuuri laughed at his impatientness and followed him to the car. They would be borrowing Viktor’s car again and this time Yuuri drove just in case Yurio decided to take another close turn which resulted in another scratch on the white paint. Yurio was not in a very good mood since Viktor more or less RSVP’d for dinner. Yakov was over the moon, but his son was brooding with his arm crossed the whole ride to the store.

“What kind of cake should we buy?” Yuuri asked to try and get Yurio to say something.

“Are you going to be uncomfortable with Viktor there?” Yurio asked instead ignoring his question. They were pulling up into the store’s parking lot.

“I think it’s going to be alright. You’ll be there and honestly, I can’t wait to see his face when he sees our professor walk in,” He told him. That thought seemed to go will with Yurio who’s eyes lit up and a mischievous smile appeared on his face. 

“He doesn’t know who Lilia is,” He realized and then got out of the car in a chipper mood.

Finding the needed ingredients, the second time around was easier. They even had time to look around the store just looking and adding to their cart things that they probably didn’t need. Yurio had Yakov’s card and didn’t seem the least concerned for how he used it. Yuuri did play the voice of reason, even though he did want to see Lilia’s face when she entered the dining room filled with party hats and a birthday banner.

“Hey, what did you mean by ‘I have you covered’ for Lilia’s present?” Yuuri asked when they waited in line to pay. He had been so worried about finding a replacement gift for Yakov that he didn’t think about his own gift for her. He still had time to go buy her something quick.

“It means just that, don’t worry about it,” Yurio told hm. “You got her a set of limited-edition jade teacups.” He added.

“And what did you get her?” Yuuri asked narrowing his eyes at him.

“A limited-edition jade teapot,” He replied and pushed him forward since the line had moved. He was quiet for a pause and then answered Yuuri’s unasked question. “You have so many other things to worry about, and now with the whole thing with Viktor. We can just share my gift and you don’t have to worry about it.”

He tried very hard not to smile but he couldn’t help it. Despite how Yurio might come across as at first, he was actually a very thoughtful person. And that was the second time he’s come to his rescue without being asked to. Last night would have turned out very differently had he not dropped by with his own crisis. It had been a risk, one that up to that day Yurio had been avoiding. Yuuri realized it at that first dinner out they had when Yurio admitted that he had not told Viktor of Yuuri’s presence at dinner as Yakov had hoped. It became very clear that Yurio didn’t want Viktor to know they were hanging out or that they even knew each other, for whatever reason.

Yuuri had played along, he didn’t necessarily lie about who he was tutoring but he never said any names and he always took the long way to the president’s house. There was part of him that also didn’t want Viktor to find out either, but as the weeks went by, he started to care less if he ever found out. He continued, however, for Yurio. Crushing dinner like he had last night had been an unwanted choice he decided to make just for him, and he was thankful for that.

“Thank you,” Yuuri told the blond boy, “For everything you’ve done for me, I really appreciate what you did last night. I know that you didn’t want Viktor to know we are friends. I don’t know why, but that must have been a hard choice to make.”

“I don’t care if Viktor knows you’re my friend, it was actually really satisfying watching him realize I was your friend when he wasn’t,” He said with a smirk. Yuuri rolled his eyes at his friend and started to put everything on the conveyor belt.

“Then why didn’t you tell Viktor sooner?” Yuuri asked, the blond boy didn’t answer and instead busied himself by unloading the cart. He kept his silence until they were walking out of the store with their full cart. There were many things that he had learned about Yurio in the few months they’ve known each other one of those was not to push him, Yurio would talk when he felt sure of what he was going to say.

“I don’t know how you never realized it, but Viktor was always trying to get close to you. He went to the places you would be at and tried to talk to you every chance he got. I knew that if I told him you were coming around to the house he would be there, dad knew that too and he hoped that would happen.” Yurio said, he looked ahead as they walked to the car.

It was not hard to notice the tense relationship between both brothers, he had still not pinpointed the exact breaking point that leads them to drift apart, but he could see how it was affecting them both. Yurio’s bitterness towards Viktor deepened every time Viktor acted like nothing was wrong. Yuuri didn’t know Viktor well enough to know what he could be thinking and how Yurio’s actions affected him. But he knew how Viktor’s actions affected Yurio. His negligence hurt Yurio even if he tried very hard to not show it, but it was the fact Viktor was so dismissive of the clear animosity between them that made Yurio dislike him even more.

“You really didn’t want Viktor to come home, huh?” Yuuri found himself asking.

“You said that the only reason you were coming over was that Viktor didn’t, if he started coming home then…you would have stopped,” Yurio admitted. “I—I don’t have…friends, and I don’t like many people. I like you though, and I didn’t want Viktor to mess that up.” He added. Yuuri could tell how hard it was for him to admit those things.

He had not realized how much Yurio and Yakov were doing for him. They had made him feel comfortable and included. Even normal friends would not be invited to dinner as often as he was, but he was. Yakov spoke to him regularly to talk about his son’s improvement and to ask what Viktor was doing. The latter always being very brief, but that was not all, Yakov always asked about him too. He had thought it had something to do with him dating Professor Baranovskaya and him being one of her students, but maybe it had to do with the fact he was becoming very good friends with Yurio.

“I wouldn’t have,” Yuuri told him. “I like you too Yurio, you’re my friend and I wouldn’t have stopped coming if Viktor magically showed up.”

“Maybe not know, but before. He said really bad things about you and those things hurt you, I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable. That was why dad stopped trying to get Viktor to come over too,” Yurio told him and then added, “Dad said he kept eyes on the two of you, he would see you interact occasionally and that the way you acted was always different. He didn’t believe Viktor could intentionally be mean to someone, he genuinely thought you were just misinterpreting his actions.”

“Well, it’s really hard to misinterpret things that were blatantly said to your face, but now I know they came from a place of mistaken interpretations. He thought he was defending himself and I can hardly be mad at him for that.” Yuuri said. He wished he could have stood up to those who used to call him names when he was younger. He wished he could have been as strong as Viktor to fight back, instead, he ran away like a coward. “Regardless, why should any of that matter. He is your brother, Yakov’s son, and I’m…just your math tutor.”

Yurio’s eyes narrowed and kept moving. “You are not necessarily my math tutor, it’s not like I actually need you. And don’t think my dad didn’t tell me you stopped charging him for the time you spend over.”

So, he knew about that too, Yuuri thought.

“In that case, I’m just your friend. Viktor is still much more important in this scenario,” Yuuri continued. Yurio let out a loud sigh and stopped in front of the car to turn to him.

“I literally just told you that you’re my only friend. Viktor has friends now, a lot of them, and I…I only had you. Now can we stop talking about this.” Yuuri hid his expression knowing that Yurio didn’t want his sympathy. Instead, they started to pile in their groceries into the car.

“I’m not your only friend now, all my friends liked you. So, you have like half a dozen friends now, whether you want them or not,” Yuuri let his friend know. Yurio huffed and didn’t say anything else. Once in the car he made a quick google search and started the car. Yurio only spoke up when he noticed the wrong turn.

“Home is the other way,” Yurio reminded him.

“I know,” Yuuri replied and kept driving. “I’m not going to let you half-ass your present to Lilia. I’m getting my own gift, and you can give your almost-could-have-been-mom the whole limited-edition tea set.” He sent Yurio a smile at the end.

“The only reason I’m not punching you right now is because you are driving,” was all Yurio said and sat back in his seat with his arms crossed. Yuuri laughed and turned on the car radio.

They stopped at a jewelry shop and after spending too long on trying to remember if Lilia had her ears pierced, they decided on a simple but sophisticated looking bracelet. Once back at the house and in the kitchen, they got to work. They both hovered over the recipe Yurio’s grandpa had sent them and tried their best to not burn down the kitchen or hurt themselves as they made dinner. Halfway through the entire process, Yuuri realized that Yakov had really put a lot of faith in both of them. When everything was in the process of cooking and coming together they decided to start decorating the dining room, it was also around that time when the door opened and Yurio let out a long deep sigh at the first sign of Viktor.

“It smells really good here,” He said as soon as he walked in with Makkachin at his heels. “And it looks great too, you two are really putting a lot of effort into this,” He added as he looked around. They had picked a simple combination of yellow and white as their colors, and Yuuri was in the process of fixing the flower agreement that would be their table center.

“Lilia doesn’t like half-assed things,’ Yurio told his brother and then shoved the tablecloth into his hands. “Now be useful and put it on the table.”

Yuuri stood next to the table and gave him a small smile. Silence followed and it made Yuuri start nervously sweating. It was like he had forgotten how to talk or form a sentence; he was tempted to just go back to the kitchen and avoid Viktor, but from the corner of his eye he noticed Yurio looking at him. While Viktor did make him nervous, he didn’t want Yurio to know or that would make Yurio want to spend less time with his brother. His new goal was to make Yurio’s relationship with his brother become less tense, he knew that he couldn’t magically fix it, but he could help by not making it worst.

“Hey Viktor,” Yuuri said with a smile as he walked past him to pick up the vase he would be using. Viktor looked at him with wide eyes, as if not expecting Yuuri to speak to him.

“H-hi Yuuri,” He choked out and just stared at him. Yurio rolled his eyes and let out a dramatically loud groan as he was doing his own task on the other side of the room.

“Did you do the reading for Professor Baranovskaya yet?” Yuuri asked if only to fill the sudden silence that surrounded them once more. That was a safe topic, one of the few things they had in common.

“Yeah, it was so long,” Viktor said as he turned his way. “Why does she love to torture us so much?” He asked. There was a whiny tone to his voice that made Yuuri smile, he saw Yurio’s head turn in their direction with a devious look.

“Do you not like your teacher Viktor?” Yurio asked all too innocently. 

“She’s so uptight sometimes, Georgi says she needs to get laid or something,” Viktor replied. Yurio sent him a horrified look. Yuuri took a deep breath to keep himself from laughing.

“I think she’s pretty cool,” Yuuri said casually.

“That is because she likes you, we can all tell that you’re her favorite,” Viktor told him. There was no hostility in his tone this time, but it did remind him of their exchange months ago outside her classroom.

“I wouldn’t say I’m his favorite, I just do my work and get things done on time. It’s not hard to get on her good side, all you have to do is show that you are at least trying to get something out of her class.” Yuuri informed the sliver haired boy beside him. “She did mention how impressed she was with your part of the work on the assignment we turned in.”

Just because Viktor was never there that didn’t mean they didn’t talk about him. It was never Yurio’s favorite subject, however. Lilia talked about his work in class and his progress. More than once she mentions how impressed she was by him and on one occasion she mentioned how she wished Viktor could have taken more of her classes. Yakov was always very happy when he was able to find out anything about Viktor. He enjoyed talking about many things, from arts to sports, but his favorite topic was always his sons and Lilia talked about Viktor in a good light. Not that anything she said was exaggerated or said to simply make Yakov happy. Viktor’s merit was all his and Lilia wanted to share with Yakov, who was happy to hear it.

“That was because you edited, and made it sound so professional and well done,” Viktor replied. “You’re a genius Yuuri,” He added with a sigh and moved closer to him. Yuuri had to laugh at that. He was not a genius; his grades came from hours of studying and even more hours of trying his best.

“That paper is just an accumulation of hard work from all of us, it hardly makes me a genius,” Yuuri said. He was now very much aware of how close Viktor was and how deeply he was looking at him.

“It does.” Was all he said while smiling at him.

Viktor had a nice smile, that was all he allowed himself to think. If he let his head go off, he would only get flustered or worst he would get confused again. Liking Viktor came with consequences that he didn’t want. He was not ready for that right then, in fact, both of them were not ready for that. They were not in a place where feelings of that sort could bring them anything good.

Yuuri continued to focus on his task instead. Viktor busied himself with his phone, he had a smile on his face as he texted with someone. A few minutes later Yuuri was plating the Pirozhki and Yurio was taking pictures with his phone for his grandpa when they could hear the main doors open and as a result, Makkachin ran from under the table towards the door. Voices filled the hall outside of the dining room and they all looked over at Viktor how as in the middle of putting his phone away.

“That should be Lilia and dad,” Yurio said with a smirk. “Let’s go greet them at the door Viktor,” He added. Viktor did as he was told, Yurio and Yuuri shared a smirk. They watch as Viktor walked out of the dining room towards the front door first. They followed behind him having a good view as the approached the two figures by the doors. They knew the exact moment Viktor saw Lilia because he stopped dead on his tracks. 

“Hello Viktor,” Lilia greeted him. A long silence followed which made then both to start laughing quietly. Yakov walked around Lilia and helped her get out of her coat as Viktor just watched them. 

“The food is almost ready,” Yuuri told them and then walked over to Lilia to wish her a happy birthday and give her a hug, Yurio doing the same right after him. “We also have presents for you too,” He added. Lilia rolled her eyes.

“You shouldn’t have. Yakov said you two would prepare Katsudon again, is that why you left my class in such a hurry today?” she asked and then eyeing behind him towards Viktor.

“It’s a long process and Yurio and I needed to go buy groceries. We also made Pirozhki,” He told her. After that Yakov and Lilia had started walking towards the kitchen to wash their hands. He could hear them both say how nice it smelled. They started moving back to the dining room passing a still frozen Viktor.

“Are you coming Viktor?” Yuuri asked. Viktor turned around with a shocked face and blinked a couple of times.

“D-Dad is dating…” He trailed off and pointed in the direction Lilia and his dad went.

“Yeah, dumbass,” Was all Yurio said as he took Yuuri by the arm and started to pull him towards the dining room.

It didn’t take long to serve everyone and have everything on the table. Once in the dining room, which had Lilia smiling at the decor, Yuuri took the seat next to Yurio just so Viktor had to sit next to Lilia.

“It’s nice that you finally decided to join us Viktor,” Lilia told him as they started to eat. Viktor help his fork mid-way to his mouth and shuffled in his seat. Almost like he himself had done that first day Lilia came to dinner.

“I-I’ve been busy,” He said and cleared his throat. Yuuri didn’t have to look at anyone to know they were all holding an eye-roll.

“Whatever the case, it’s important you come see your father,” She added. “Yuuri how is that exhibition piece coming?” She asked changing the topic and redirecting the attention to him. He felt caught off guard at the sudden change of subject but recovered quickly.

“It’s coming,” Yuuri told her and took a bite of his food. It was a lie and he knew that she knew that too. Her eyes narrowed at him but didn’t say anything else about it.

“And yours Viktor, I’m sure you too will submit a piece for the end of the year exhibition,” She moved on. Viktor looked once more uncomfortable by having all the attention.

“I-I have an idea, but I haven’t started yet,” He admitted. Lilia didn’t look displeased or pleased with his answer, instead she turned to Yurio and started to interrogate him about his plan for next year, what classes he would take and if he had made up his mind on a major yet.

Yurio was good about answering in an appropriate manner, sure they were not the answers Lilia or Yakov wanted to hear, but at least he was not telling them to mind their own business. They ate their food with a comfortable conversation, once more it mostly revolved around the school and activities that were coming up due to the ending of the year. Viktor seemed a bit lost most of the time, like he was trying to catch up to a situation that everyone else was already accustomed to. It was funny and Yurio was having the time of his life watching him squirm in his seat.

“Do you think we should start on our final presentation soon or wait on it?” Yuuri asked Viktor to at least help him cope with everything and bring him back into the conversation. He looked up with wide eyes, clearly surprised he was being spoken to much more by Yuuri himself again.

“We could start getting things ready, so we are not leaving things for the last minute,” Viktor said.

“Yes, procrastination is never good,” Lilia commented and Yakov chuckled because he knew she was referring to his exhibition piece.

“If it gets done in the end, why does it matter when it was started?” Yuuri asked as he picked up his glass and took a drink. “Plus, I’m so talented anything I do is practically a masterpiece,” He added just for kicks. Reactions were mixed and Yuuri loved them all. Yurio groaned loudly beside him and mumbled something under his breath. Yakov just burst out laughing, while Lilia send him a dry look, and Viktor, he stared at him with a raised eyebrow. But as he looked around and seeing everyone else’s reaction he was quick to realize it was sarcasm. 

“I’ll get started tomorrow,” He told Lilia and send Viktor a look. “We could get together once we have most of the material on paper, I’ve been putting it together on a document, all I need is for you guys to send me your last paper. Did you look at your grades yet?” Viktor looked back at Yuuri as if he had been bombarded with questions, he’s never seen Viktor so confused and it was kind of accelerating and satisfying to watch.

“I got an 87, I think,” Viktor said with a frown as he was trying to remember.

“That is correct,” Lilia confirmed. Viktor jumped slightly as if he had once more realized his teacher was sitting next to him.

“Well that is not so bad,” Yakov said while giving his son an approving nod.

“What, where did he lose points?” Yuuri asked having a different reaction. He had not seen Viktor’s paper, but he did read his last paper and had been very well done so he knew that Viktor was capable of writing papers worthy of an A- at the very least.

“Paper structure and vague descriptions,” Lilia answered with no hesitation. “It was a good paper, don’t get me wrong. But we are a high-level class and every little mistake count, you know that very well,” She added with a raised eyebrow.

Yuuri sighed and rolled his eyes. He did know that one mistake could make you lose a lot of points. “Your grading system is the horrible,” He let her now. Viktor looked at him with wide eyes and then back at Lilia waiting for her reaction.

“Only preparing you for the real world,” She told him with a smile she looked over at Yakov who smiled back.

“What did you get?” Viktor asked curious. 

“A 98,” Yuuri replied and send a glare to his teacher. “I forgot to number my pages,” He added. Viktor looked at him with a horrified expression, Yuuri couldn’t decipher if his expression was due to the forgotten page numbers or the fact, he was penalized for it.

“And you forgot to bold the start of every new section too,” She added as if that made it even worst.

“Right,” Yuuri mumbled and send another look towards Viktor. “So, we have to make sure we both pay extra attention to our essay structure, because our future bosses are going to want implacable essays on old art,” He told him with a smile.

Viktor didn’t say anything, maybe not wanting to say the wrong thing in front of the professor. He would get comfortable eventually, but for now Yuuri found the way he stuttered, and his face turned red endearing. Beside him Yurio found all that amusing and was having the time of his life as he stuffed his face with food.

“That was really good, what was it?” Viktor asked. By then they had all finishing eating and Yurio had left to bring the tray with the Pirozhki they had set aside to cool off a bit.

“Katsdon, it’s a Japanese dish,” Yuuri told him as he stacked up the plates.

“It’s Yuuri’s favorite dish, that apparently his mother makes much better,” Yakov added. “Although I don’t see how it can get better than this.” Yuuri felt himself go red.

“It really don’t do it justice, but I’m glad you all like it,” Yuuri told them. He used to think that if he ate it he could only get homesick, so he stayed away from it. But now that he had made it twice, he realized that he didn’t feel homesick at all, a little frustrated if anything. He wanted them to try his mother’s Katsudon instead, and not his barely passable attempt.

“Here is our try at Pirozhki,” Yurio said as he walked out the kitchen and into the dining room. The dough had a nice color to it, and they had a smell that made his mouth water. They all grabbed one and none of them hesitated to take a bite. Yuuri had no complaints but Yurio did, they had not expected perfection and they were not aiming towards it either. They had given it their best shot, but Yuuri knew that nothing would ever make them taste exactly like the ones made by their loved ones.

Lilia had brought dessert; they were the same small marshmallow looking cookies that Yurio had brought him last time, they had quickly become one of Yuuri’s favorites. Yuuri also bought out the cake they had bought since they could have not possibly been able to bake a cake too. Yakov brought out coffee while Yurio helped pass around one of the two boxes of zephir, and Lilia cut her cake. They bypassed singing happy birthday after they all received a chilling glare from Lilia. Instead Yuuri sat down and took a bite out of his zephir, he had to hold back a moan and was glad he could because that would have been mortifying.

“Why is everything Russian so good?” Yuuri found himself asking out loud. He received chuckled all around.

“Because Russians do it better,” Viktor said. Yuuri looked up and wonder if there was an innuendo somewhere in there, but he was too caught up in his treat to care and all he could do was nod in agreement. Yuuri ended up asking Lilia where she had bought them and when he learned she had made them, he demanded she tell him how to make them or at the very least the appropriate spelling of it so he could look them up later.

“Do you cook often?” She asked when Yakov mentioned Yuuri’s hobby of collecting recipes. If it could even be called that, Yuuri had a notebook that contained a few recipes but he would most definitely not call it a hobby.

“No, I live in the dorms, so we don’t have access to a kitchen. But back home I used to help my mom in the kitchen. We own an onsen and she is the main cook for the establishment,” He told her.

“What’s an onsen?” Yurio asked jumping back into the conversation that had gained interest to him once more.

“It’s a hot spring, a bathhouse really and an inn. It’s family-run and we are the last remaining hot spring in Hasetsu,” He said with pride. There used to be a lot of competition back when he was younger, but his family’s hot spring was always full of people. It was really sad to hear that tourism back home was not the same as it used to be. He worried that they would have to shut down as well but according to his father and sister they were alright. He didn’t know whether to believe them or not, either way, he send back most of the money he received from selling his art.

“Wow that is so cool,” Yurio said fascinated. “I’ve never been to a hot spring before; it must be nice.”

“It is. Those waters have healing properties. Sure, it doesn’t have any science backing it up, but you know it once you leave the place,” He told them. Soon he would be soaking up in those hot springs, and part of him was excited and the other part was hesitant. He wonder how Hasetsu would feel when he went back. But there was no point in worrying about that then.

Lilia promised to write down her recipe because she didn’t want him to just get some random recipe from the internet. And she made him promise to show her the results, which Yuuri agreed, but told her not to expect much from his attempt.

Once they were done eating, they had helped clear the table, Yurio and Yuuri busied themselves by washing and drying the dishes. They worked quickly and surprisingly, efficiently. Lilia and Yakov had gone to sit in the living room where they had piled their gifts at.

Another thing that Yuuri quickly learned was that Viktor was useless in the kitchen. He moved around not really knowing how to help or what to do. However, he refused to leave everything to them. Yuuri was conscious of him while he washed the dishes, from the corner of his eye he saw him look around as if trying to come up with something to say. Yuuri didn’t say anything, but Yurio was quick to call him out.

“Quit just standing there and make yourself useful,” Yurio said and waved him over. When Viktor was in front of him Yurio preceded to put a stack of dried bowls in his hands. “Put them away without dropping them,” He said to his brother. Surprisingly Viktor did as told without any comment on Yurio’s rather rude tone.

The whole time Yuuri’s been present around the two brothers, he had not once seen Viktor act out of line towards Yurio. And aside from Yurio telling him to either shut up or fuck off, there was nothing that really showed more than basic sibling banter. It reminded him of his own jokes with his sister, they were never as rude, but they did like to make fun of each other. Whenever his sister called him names or made fun of him it never felt the same way as when others called him the same things. He knew that his sister never meant those things, and he wondered if Viktor thought the same. Did Viktor see everything Yurio said as nothing more than light teasing? 

Yuuri wonder if Yurio ever actually told Viktor how he made him feel. Something told Yuuri that Viktor was not aware of all the things Yurio was going though and exchange, Yurio had no clue how Viktor felt either. Maybe the miscommunication extended beyond just Viktor and himself. Maybe Viktor was just oblivious to his surroundings, and that worried him because Viktor and Yurio could potentially hurt each other to the point it could have permanently damage what they had left of their relationship. Conversation didn’t pick up again and they washed, dried and put away in silence. 

Once they were done, they went to the living room and gave Lilia her wrapped presents. Yurio had wrapped his present and that made Yuuri smile a little. He really was making an effort in being nice towards Lilia. Yurio’s present was the first Lilia opened much to his dislike, but he stood silently and eagerly as he watched her open it. The tea set looked much better than he had expected, the green jade made it looked unique and Yuuri was starting to question his decision to get his own present. The gift had not been a spur of the moment type of gift, it was thought out and even Viktor could tell based on how he looked at Yurio.

“This is beautiful Yuri,” Lilia said while looking at him. She didn’t show much emotion which was probably for the best or Yurio would have blown up. Yuuri had a hunch that Lilia had also done it on purpose. That was probably why they got along well since Lilia was never an overly dramatic person and that was something Yurio could deal with. “Thank you.” She added.

Viktor told her that he was not able to get her a present since he was not aware it was her birthday. Lilia looked almost thankful she was not receiving more presents. It didn’t last too long, as Yuuri walked up to her and handed her his own present. He had not been able to wrap it up so it was very obvious what it was, and Lilia gave him a hard cold look that Yuuri knew was more for the fact he had bought her something and not because of the actual gift.

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” She said as she opened it. A small smile spread across her face. “It’s lovely,” she told him.

“Hear that, she said mine was lovely,” He turned to Yurio with a smirk, Yurio sent him a scowl.

“Mine was beautiful, which is so much better than lovely,” Yurio argued back. “Beat that dad,” Yurio added in Yakov’s direction. Lilia shook her head in their direction and then turned to Yakov who looked a little nervous.

“Well mine is a little different,” Yakov said and reached into his coat pocket and retrieved the envelope that Yuuri had delivered to his office earlier that day. Looking quite intrigued she reached out to the envelope and grabbed it. She looked at it for a second and then pulled out the two tickets he printed earlier that day. She looked down at them for a little too long and made Yuuri grow as anxious as Yakov looked.

“How…how did you know?” Lilia asked as she looked up to Yakov with a wide smile, one that Yuuri had never seen before. He let out a breath of relief and realized that both Yurio and Viktor did the same.

“I will admit I did have a little help,” Yakov told her while glancing towards Yuuri. Lilia chuckled and leaned over to give him a hug.

“I love them,” she said to him while still hugging him, Yakov instantly wrapped his arms around her to hug back. Yuuri raised his hand to give Yurio a high five while watching what Yuuri would call a crisis averted.

“This is crazy,” Viktor said beside them. Yuuri chuckled and looked at him.

“I mean, it could have been worst,” He whispered to him. Part of him does wonder what would have happened had Yakov proposed instead.

“I don’t mean just that,” Viktor said pointing at Yakov and Lilia who were now talking. “I mean all this, having dinner with you and professor Baranovskaya, my dad having a…girlfriend. It’s all a little…hard to take in.” Yuuri chuckled but nodded because he could understand.

“It is a little surreal, I felt the same way at first. You’ll get used to it,” he told Viktor. Hopefully and for Yakov’s sake, Viktor starts to come home more often.

It started to get late and Yuuri could not seem to find a good enough point in their conversation to excuse himself. They had all taken a seat and continued their conversation. it mostly revolved around ballet, which was something that Yurio actually found interesting and interjected his opinion often. The conversation turned into a lighthearted debate, at least from his side, because Yurio was very passionate about his opinions and was not shy about letting them know when they were wrong about something.

“I should get going,” Yuuri announced amidst the silence. It was the perfect time to getaway. Lilia and Yakov were once more caught up in their own conversation and not really paying them any attention.

“I can walk you back to your dorm,’ Viktor offered right away.

“It’s alright, plus, you live a block away. It would be a waste of time to walk across campus, for nothing,” Yuuri told him as he stood up “I’ll see you later,” He told Yurio and then turned towards Lilia and Yakov to excuse himself.

“It’s no problem, I’m actually heading that way. Chris is at the library right now, and I told him I would meet him there,” Viktor told him.

Yuuri looked at him trying to come up with a nice way to tell him no, he could not find a single one and he didn’t feel like starting an argument with him. Especially not in his father’s house and when he sat within hearing distance. Yuuri didn’t agree but he also didn’t decline his offer, he left it hanging in the air as he walked to retrieve his bag. Yakov and Lilia stopped talking when Yuuri walked over to grab his bag.

“Leaving already?” Yakov asked him.

“It’s getting late and I have an early morning class tomorrow,” Yuuri told them. “Happy birthday again Lilia, see you on Thursday,” He added.

“Thank you for everything Yuuri, I enjoyed dinner very much,” Lilia told him and then looked behind to where Viktor was standing. “Get back to your dorm safe okay,” She added.

“I’m walking him back, so I’ll make sure he does,” Viktor told her behind him. The closeness of his voice made him jump a little. With one last smile, he walked back to where Yurio was standing while Viktor said his own goodbyes.

“Make him stay,” Yuuri whispered at Yurio who was walking him to the door along with Makkachin who had moved from her dog bed when she heard people moving again.

“Sorry, but I’m kinda done dealing with him tonight. Take one for the team,” Yurio told him in a hushed voice.

“I hate you so much right now, hope you know that,” Yuuri told him and turned around to see Viktor talking to his dad. “You own me one,” He added to Yurio.

“Noted,” Was all the blond said and even had the decency to smile at him.

“I’ll be back tomorrow, I promise,” Viktor told his dad who seemed please with that. He bent down to say goodbye to his dog as well. With that, they both walked towards the door that Yurio now held open for both of them. Yuuri glared at him one the way out and rolled his eyes as he said bid them goodnight. The sky was painted in an array of pastels as they walked out. There was a light breeze that only kissed their bare arms with a soothing coolness that quickly went away with the heat of the day. They walked in silence as they walked down the pathway that lead to the gate to the property. It was surprisingly not as awkward as he expected, he spent it mostly looking around and up at the sky.

“We haven’t talked about it, but I’m sorry about the whole blog post,” Viktor broke the silence once they were making their way down the driveway. He didn’t expect Viktor to bring up that post, he had hoped it was something they didn’t have to touch on. It was embarrassing just thinking about it, so he took Yurio’s advice again and pretended it was no big deal.

“Yeah well, I’ll get over it. You couldn’t have known that our school is worse than a gossip magazine,” Yuuri told him and hoped he would drop it. 

“Did you read it?” Viktor asked. There was a strain in his voice, and his posture was equally as tense. Maybe he was not the only one who found it embarrassing.

“Some of it, I stopped when it felt kind of stupid,” Yuuri admitted.

He also didn’t feel like reading gossip, let alone gossip about his self, he didn’t even know why there was gossip about him in the first place. Phichit had done a highlight reel of what he had called the best bits, and Yuuri tried to laugh along with him, but he couldn’t find the amusement in having his name smeared like that. Sure, it didn’t necessarily say anything offensive about him and it never took a hostile stance towards any of them. But it didn’t feel good to have the things he did being told to the entire school, no matter how true or false they were. He didn’t like his life being broadcasted to people he didn’t know.

“It was not my intention for this to happen, I hope you understand that,” Viktor told him.

He thought back to that event and he felt his face go red. He was glad that there was no way anyone could know what actually happened. And Viktor’s actions still didn’t make any sense, it could have just been part of a joke. A joke that took a not so funny turn, but he must have known there was a probability of consequences. Someone was bound to notice, so what did he actually expect would happen.

“Then what was your intention, frankly everything you do is such a mystery to me, and I don’t know what to think most of the time.” Yuuri wanted answers, he wanted reasons and clarity to the mystery that was the man beside him. He wanted to understand him, to know what he was thinking so maybe he could start making sense.

“I—I don’t know,” He admitted, and let his head lower suddenly his hands because more interesting to him.

“That’s not good enough,” Yuuri said and stopped walking. “Everyone has a reason for doing something unless I’m also misunderstanding something here too.” Viktor looked up down at him and opened his mouth like he wanted to say something but closed it.

“Can we just start over, a blank slate?” He asked hopeful.

A blank slate? Yuuri could only narrow his eyes at him. How easy could that be, how simple, but Yuuri’s mind couldn’t work that way. He would not forget everything that happened, he could not pretend it didn’t happen. He was not that type of person, he was the kind to always think about the things that went wrong and beat himself up about it. If they tried to bury all the hateful words and mistaken situations, he would only have more to keep him up at night. He might hate it, but he knew they needed to talk about everything they did wrong. If they wanted a shot at being friends, they needed to put all their cards on the table and take off all their masks.

“I can’t,” Yuuri told him. Viktor tensed by beside him. “I can’t afford to just cover it up and pretend that it didn’t. That it didn’t hurt me and that I didn’t hurt you too.” He admitted.

“Yuuri,” Viktor whispered like wanted to say something but didn’t know what.

“We can either put the effort to work it over, or we could not and just let it go. One means we can try to be friends, the other means I walk away right now, and I will never talk to you again, and I mean it this time.” Yuuri told him. He braced himself to hear Viktor telling him to just walk away, that his friendship was not worth all the extra work. Yuuri knew he was not worth any work, and someone like Viktor could have no use for a friend like him.

“I want to work it over then,” He said without a pause.

Yuuri looked up at him in surprise, “Really…why?” He couldn’t help but ask.

“Because I want to be close to you,” Viktor told him, something flashed in his eyes he hid by closing his eyes and then opening them again this time showing determination. “I want to be near you and be your… friend.” Yuuri gave him one last glance and started to walk again. Maybe this was part of his needed to have friends. He wondered how much of it was actually Viktor wanting to be his friend and what part was just the need to have friends.

“Alright,” Yuuri said. He had no idea what to do now, in his head he didn’t get this far. In his head, Viktor told him goodbye and took the first opportunity to get out of his life.

“So, we can try to be friends now?” Viktor asked, a hopeful tone in his voice.

“Yeah,” Yuuri said. Viktor was quiet after that and Yuuri had to turn to make sure he had not disappeared from beside him. Beside him Viktor was smiling wide and looking right ahead, he looked over when he felt eyes on him.

“Does that mean we can hang out too, and go to the movies together?” He asked his eyes wide as he looked deep in thought. Yuuri was caught off guard by the sudden change in mood and the things Viktor was saying.

“Sure,” Yuuri told him. The look on his face made it almost impossible for Yuuri to say otherwise.

“Okay,” Viktor said and turned back head with the same smile. Yuuri looked at him frowning and wondered if he would get to learn more about him to understand why things like that made him smile that way. They crossed the courtyard and stopped in front of the library, well, Yuuri stopped in front of the library.

“So, this is your stop, I’ll see you later,” Yuuri told him. He said. Viktor looked around with wide eyes as if he had not realized they had arrived. 

“I’ll walk you to your dorm,” He said instantly.

“It’s literally just over there,” Yuuri pointed behind him, “See you tomorrow,” Yuuri waved at him and started to move towards his building.

“Wait!” Viktor called out after him. Yuuri looked back at the silver-haired man who was closing the distance Yuuri had put in between them. “Last time, you said I could sketch you. When are you free?” He asked. Yuuri was caught off guard and looked at him like a deer in headlights. “Just give me two hours of your time, that’s all I ask,” He added when Yuuri didn’t say anything. 

“I—I don’t know, can I get back at you with that?” Yuuri asked. Part of him was still trying to make sense of why Viktor would want to draw him in the first place.

“Okay, but it has to be soon okay,” He said with a smile.

Yuuri only nodded and waved at him again. While walked back to his dorm he wondered if he had heard him correctly. He had mentioned that he wanted to be his friend, and Yuuri wanted to believe him, but part of him also wondered if this was another one of his games. If everything was just a big complicated plan he and Chris were working on. But then he thought about everything Viktor had told him and all those misunderstandings. He concluded that if he wanted this to work, he was going to have to learn to trust Viktor and his actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, the next one is coming up in the next few days. So there won't be much of a wait! I really appreciate all your comments and Kudos, I love reading what you all think <3  
> Stay safe and thank you for reading!


	15. Slow and Steady Wins The Race

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Yuuri admitted when Celestino more or less cornered him after class for their one on one meeting. Like Professor Baranovskaya, Professor Cialdini wanted to know how he was doing with his exhibition piece. Yuuri was now more than tired of hearing about it and was tempted to just not do one. It was a huge temptation, but Yuuri was not so bold as to pull something like that. Especially now that he knew that Minako was going to flying over to attend not just his graduation but the exhibition as well. He could not let her down, not when it was because of her he was able to be there in the first place.

“That is understandable Yuuri, many seniors have trouble coming up with something. You are not alone; many want their last piece to hold more meaning or value and that makes them feel like they have no ideas.” Celestino told him. He walked over his desk and pulled up a yellow notepad and handed it to him. “I’ve found that for many writing a story first helps.”

Yuuri gave him a look as he stared down at the yellow pad in his hands

“Think of it as putting out your ideas, I’m not asking you to write a novel. You can make notes, comments, anything that can help you do something than just bottling up those feelings and ideas.” He continued. “Do you at least have an idea of what you might want to do?”

Yuuri sat down on a stool and sighed. What did he want? That was easy, he wanted it to be over. And that the same time he was scared that it would be over, part of him was excited to graduate and the other part was scared of what was to come. He didn’t know where he would end up, the future looked a little foggy at the moment.

“Let’s go down to the basics then, will it be a drawing or a painting? Will you use charcoals, oils, or paint. Will it be a landscape, a figure? Will it be modeled or candid?” Celestino threw out suggestions.

Yuuri knew that there was no expectation of him to answer, so he stayed silent. It would be easy to just plan it out, this was not a new method for him. In fact, everything he ever did was planned out in that exact form, he’d thought himself that detailing his art was the best way to get the results he wanted. Sometimes he wondered if that made him a bad artist. He’s heard of many who paint with no clear plan in their head, they just press their brush to the canvas and went wild. He’s put passion and enthusiasm into his paintings, but he had never actually done something without a rough sketch. Actually, Yuuri stopped mid-thought, that was a lie. He did paint something without planning. He painted something without even realizing it actually. His head turned to the end of the room where Celestino liked to display artwork. There hanged what Celestino appraised as Yuuri’s latest masterpiece.

The lines were too harsh, the colors too dark and it freaked him out the first time he had seen it. Now it was a reminder that there was something inside of him that could do that, that in a way he was holding back by using bright colors and sticking to what he thought people wanted to see. People didn’t always like depressing pictures, they liked pretty landscapes and beautiful people.

“If it comes to it, we could always use that one as your exhibition piece,” Celestino told him, “It’s different from what you usually do, and if I hadn’t seen you paining it in class I would not believe it had been you who painted it,” He added.

Yuuri wanted to tell him that he thought the same thing. Had there not been witnesses that saw him do it he would have believed someone switched his painting when he didn’t notice. He was capable of doing that, something in him came out that day and made him expose himself like that. There was something dark inside of him that wanted to come out and be shown to the world. And it had shown itself in the form of a figure falling into the fire and another rising to the sky. He thought back to the bottle of anti-depressants he had been prescribed, maybe that was why Dr. Bin thought he was not alright. They hadn’t talked about it, but Dr. Bin was no idiot. He knew something had happened, and that picture said it all. He hated that painting because it was showing a truth he’s been avoiding for so long.

“I can see your head working,” Celestino pointed out. “This is not about inspiration is it, Yuuri?” Yuuri found himself shaking his head, his eyes not lifting from the painting.

“What brings your hesitation then?” From the corner of his eye, he saw Celestino take a seat on the stool next to him.

“I—I didn’t know I was capable of creating something like that,” He admitted with a sigh. “I’m scared that it means something is wrong with me. And while I want to just bury it and label it as a one-time thing, I….” He trailed off and shook his head.

“Art calls to us Yuuri, you know that. Art wants to be seen and felt, it wants to live. All we can do is let it out and show it, give it life, materialize it into the world. There is art inside of you Yuuri, art that is demanding to be shown, and if you don’t let it out it will suffocate you.” Celestino told him. “It’s okay to be confused about our art sometimes because we can always learn from it. But fear it, there should be nothing to fear from it. It is part of you, it’s meaning comes from inside of you.”

“I fear myself sometimes,” Yuuri mumbled. “I want to try and let that part of me out again, but I’m scared of what I’ll find. When I painted that I was not doing too well, things in my life were starting to fall apart. And now those things have found their way to a possible resolution, but I still feel my hands and head going back to those images. Like a story that wants to be told, but…I’m scared.”

Art was art because it had meaning, and Yuuri found himself fearing that meaning. Because no matter how perfect or beautiful it might be, its meaning was what people sought out. Celestino gave him a knowing look and patted his shoulder.

“I understand. Take your time, slow and steady wins the race Yuuri. You still have time to work through all that, sure, the finish line is approaching, but that doesn’t mean you can’t stop and take a breath now and then.” He looked at him and then at the painting in the far corner. “Paint like no one is ever going to see what you create, just let it out and then decide if the world is ready to see it,” He added with a smile.

With that advice, he left the classroom and walked the empty halls of the art building. He walked through corridors that were filled with memories. He couldn’t help but smile as he thought back to when those long hallways of endless classrooms once felt intimidating. He’d been a young boy straight out of a hell everyone else knew as high school. He was a foreign boy in a strange new country with limited knowledge of the language and customs, but he had also been a boy ready to take on change. He wondered where all that courage had gone. 

His meeting had taken more than he had thought and Phichit would be probably already done with his lunch hour and getting ready for his next class. Yuuri walked to the cafeteria to get something to go and eat in his room while going over his drawings for his other classes. His plans changed when he saw Emil and Michele eating lunch at their usual table. They probably just go out of their own class. Determined to make Phichit proud and socialize, Yuuri picked his food and went to join them. Eventually, he would realize that was probably not his brightest idea.

“Hey,” He said, and sat down to Emil who didn’t have a murderous look on his face like their other friend next to him. “Everything okay?”

“Nope, Mickey here just found out his sister is seeing someone in secret,” Emil to him while popping a teeter tot in his mouth and acting like it was no big deal. Michele next to him did appreciate his tone.

“Really, how did you find out?” Yuuri asked with a smile. He didn’t know that Sara was dating anyone, but if it were a secret it was probably because she knew her brother would freak out. He was very protective, and while at times even Yuuri could see how overbearing he could be, Yuuri could see the reason behind it. They were twins and very close, and very far away from their home. It was a scary place and Michele felt like it was his role to always protect his sister, even when his sister could protect herself very well.

“He heard her talking on the phone this morning before class, he hasn’t confronted her about it. I told him it was better if he calmed down before he went to talk to her,” Emil answered for his friend. Yuuri nodded in agreement.

“That’s smart, and what do you think about it, Michele?” Yuuri asked his friend directly this time. Michele’s expression was sour, he hunched over the table just stabbing at his food.

“I don’t know why she would hide something like that to me,” Michele said with a hiss.

“Really?” Yuuri asked wrinkling his nose, “You don’t have the slightest idea, not even one clue?”

Emil shoved his mouth with food to hide his smirk. And Michele sent them both an unamused look. They let Michele think about it while they ate and Yuuri wondered what kind of person Sara could be secretly dating. He didn’t personally know her preferences since she’s never been in a relationship that he knew of. There was a time when she had a slight crush on Emil, that went away when she learned that he was kind of a dumbass, and when he became best friends with Michele. She and Phichit would always go on runts on how amazing Seung Gil was, so Yuuri concluded that one of Sara’s preferences was at least male. He also couldn’t think of anyone outside of their group that she talked to. And Yuuri was almost sure that she was not going out with anyone in their group. Most were either in a relationship already, gay as hell, or confused about their feelings.

“Do you think that I’m a little overbearing?” Michele asked while looking at his tray of food he had been picking at. Emil and Yuuri shared a look and then looked back to their friend.

“Whaaat, you, no way,” Yuuri said a little too sarcastically. Michele was definitely no longer amused by him. Emil on the other hand looked like he was having a very hard time keeping a straight face.

“Look if my sister was the same age or younger than me and was living here with me, I would probably be as protective as you. That, however, does not take away the fact that Sara feels like she can’t tell you things because of it. You could try to be a little more lenient on the people she hangs out with and likes.” Yuuri suggested.

“But what if they are shit?” Michele asked dramatically. “I need to protect her!”

“Okay white knight let’s keep it down,” Emil said while patting his friend’s shoulder. “The fact is, you don’t even know who they are. You are getting ahead of yourself, and that is what Sara finds frustrating. I think the first step here is to find out if that someone even exists, there is no used getting worked up over something that might be a misunderstanding.” Emil told him.

Yuuri couldn’t help but chuckle at that last part. “Emil’s right and trust me, I know a thing or two about that.”

“I guess you both have a point,” Michele said once more a little too dramatically that it almost sounded sarcastic. “But what if it is true and they are shit?”

“Then we’ll cross that bridge when we get there,” Emil told him.

“We?” Michele asked blinking at the new information.

“Sure, Sara is my friend; she is all of our friend. And you best know that if she is dating someone that doesn’t deserve her, that piece of shit will be hearing from all of us,” Emil reassured him. Yuuri nodded at what Emil had said when Michele looked over at him. He seemed to relax a bit and stabbed his fork into a piece of chicken.

“I guess I have to find if she is dating anyone first huh?” Michele ate his food while in thought. And Emil looked pleased that they managed to avoid a disaster, which was what it would have been had Michele not calmed down. 

Yuuri’s phone vibrated beside him and he looked down at it to see JJ’s name.

**JJ: I thought you should know that all your friends missed you at lunch today!!!!**

Yuuri frown. What did that mean?

“JJ said that they all missed me at lunch today,” He announced and showed them the message “Sounds sketch right?”

“Yep, did something happen?” Emil asked as he leaned forward to read the message. Michele looked up interested and leaned over Emil’s shoulder to look at the phone as well.

“Actually, you never told us what was up with the whole blog post or what the whole deal with Viktor was,” Michele interjected. “Are you and Viktor like a thing or something?” That got him and elbow to the side from Emil.

“No, Viktor and I are most definitely not a ‘thing’. That blog post was blowing things out of proportion for drama. So, from now on please don’t believe anything they say.” He told them and opened the messaging app to text JJ back.

**Yuuri: Okay….?**

“But you and Viktor are cool now right, after all that,” Emil asked; Michele hit him in the back of the head and send him a look. Yuuri laughed at his friend’s dynamics and cringe at the memory of what he had done. He had forgotten that Viktor and he were in fact not alone when Yuuri had his little moment.

“Thank you for reminding me that have a hole I need to dig up for me to die in,” He told his friends and buried his face in his hands.

“Come on Yuuri, it’s not like that was the most embarrassing thing you’ve done. We’ve known you for four years now, this is like not even top ten,” Michele said. Emil choked back a laugh and ended up coughing. Michele started to pat his back as he smirked at Yuuri.

“I know you think you’re helping, but you’re really not,” Yuuri told them sincerely. The two assholes in front of him started laughing knowing very well they were in fact not helping. He loved his friend, but sometimes we wanted to strangle them.

**JJ: Especially Viktor, he looked upset you didn’t show up ;)**

Yeah, he really wanted to strangle his friends.

He didn’t want to think about Viktor, he had been doing a good job at blocking him out of his mind for the start of the day. He had gone through his classes without as much of a thought of him. Given the fact that currently his mind was being occupied with many other thoughts, like his best friend’s wedding back in Japan that had now changed to this summer, or the fact his teacher would be making the trip to see him graduate. He didn’t want to let anyone down, yet his hands still hesitated when he looked thought plane tickets or when he tried to plan the right time to book said ticket.

The fact was, no time was right. He didn’t know if he wanted to be there a week early or a day before the wedding. He didn’t know if he wanted to stay longer after the wedding or if he would leave the next day. He didn’t know anything and that frustrated him. He had ended up closing all the tabs related to ticket buying and focusing on the weird spots on his celling for the remainder of the day. It had been a very Viktor free day until JJ brought him up.

“Are you going to help us with this?” Michele asked after a pause. “We need to narrow down who Sara could be dating and then find out if they are good enough for her,” He continued when Yuuri send him a confused look.

Yuuri and Emil shared a look and listen to Michele as he started plotting what could be the worst plan ever. After promising Michele that neither of them was having a secret affair with his sister they continued to cross off names.

“Definitely not JJ, he’s with Isabella and would never think of cheating on her. Plus, Isabella one of Sara’s best friend, she would never do anything to hurt her,” Yuuri told them. They could all agree on that, so, JJ’s name was crossed off by him.

“Who’s next?” Emil asked as he went down the list Michele drew up in the last few minutes which contained the names of every guy he could think of. “There are not many choices in our friend group, Sara is not necessarily anyone’s type,” He added as he started to cross off Leo, Guang Hong and Phichit’s name off the list.

“I don’t think she would date someone younger either,” Yuuri added and crossed off Otabek’s name off the list. That only left the newcomers and Michele seemed to already have someone in mind.

“It’s obviously Georgi,” he said with a murderous expression.

“I don’t think so if you think JJ’s whipped just wait until you hear Georgi talk about his supermodel girlfriend,” Yuuri told them and crossed off his name. “And let us just cross Seung Gil’s name too, because for his sake he better not be two-timing our Phichit.”

The only two names left that were familiar to Yuuri were Viktor and Chris. Even those sounded not possible, but he couldn’t be sure. He didn’t know anything about Chris, for all they knew he could be dating Sara in secret.

“Twenty bucks that’s Chris,” Emil said right as he looked down at the list. He looked up at Yuuri as expecting him to put out his own bet.

“You want me to put money on who, Viktor?” Yuuri asked. He didn’t think that Viktor would be dating Sara. Sara did mention him being attractive so maybe she could have a crush on him. But to actually be dating him, that was a whole other thing. Either way, he wanted to play the game. “Okay, my bet is on Viktor, but let’s make this better. Whoever wins has to pay for brunch at Providence,” He told his friend. He knew he would lose, so what better way to lose than with brunch. Emil accepted and with a handshake they sealed the deal.

“Is this just a game to you?” Michele asked with a bewildered expression as he looked at them.

“Yes,” they both answered at the same time. Michele was not amused.

Before Michele started to consider why he was even their friend, they stood up to throw away their trash. Their plan was ridiculous at best, and Yuuri tried to convince Michele to simply talk to Sara and ask her about it. Those suggestions went in one ear and out the other, Emil was used to Michele’s stubbornness and simply let him do as he wished.

“Oh, it’ll blow up in his face and it will be very entertaining,” He said when Yuuri asked him if he was not worried this would end up being a bad idea. “I like to let him learn from his mistakes. If I intervene how will he ever learn?” He added when he noticed Yuuri’s horrified expression. That did nothing to calm Yuuri, but Michele was stubborn and there was no way to stop him once he got an idea in his head.

He went along with it because he didn’t have anything else to do but maybe go to his room and think about what to paint. That was not something he wanted to do at the moment, so instead, he joined what could be the worst plan in the world. Chris and Viktor were not the only ones on the list, they had five other possibilities, or culprits like Michele started to call them. Most Yuuri didn’t know and the others he only knew from passing. They ended up at their place when they realized that tracking down everyone in the list would take forever. But they knew where two of them lived, so that was their first lead.

“We need to take turns following their every move, somehow we need to get ahold of their phones and bug them so we can have access to all their calls and messages,” Michele started spitting out his plan of action and assigning roles.

He went on with schedules and meeting times that had both himself and Emil about an inch from falling off their chairs laughing. From the corner of his eye, he saw the front door open and a familiar face walking in. Viktor looked lost in thought as he took off his coat that was now wet. Yuuri glanced out the kitchen window to see it drizzling, and the sky a dark color.

“All that sounds great, but I have a better idea,” Yuuri told Michele and then walked to the door of the kitchen. “Hey Viktor, are you busy?” The silver-haired boy’s head snapped in his direction; he was clearly caught off guard.

“Uh…no, why?” He asked. He stopped moving towards the stairs and walked over to him instead. His eyes went from him to the two boys behind him.

“Just out of curiosity, are you dating Sara?” Yuuri saw as Viktor’s eyes widen and his head started to shake.

“What, no. Of course not!” He said a little too loud.

“I don’t believe you,” Michele declared and got up from his seat. 

“Well, it’s the truth,” Viktor told Michele a little taken back, and then looked at Yuuri. “She’s not…my type,” He added.

“Not your type, you sound like Yuuri now. What does that even mean?” Michele shouted sounding very offended. Yuuri chuckled and wrinkled his nose at Viktor.

“Don’t be an idiot, my friend,” Emil said as he came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Well, that just means we can erase Viktor’s name off the list and that Yuuri here owes me brunch.”

“Oh no, you haven’t won yet,” Yuuri pointed out. Then turned to Viktor who was watching them. “Do you know if Sara is dating Chris?”

“I don’t think so,” Viktor said confused. By now he was sounded by them and looking at them a little intimidated by that fact. 

“Aha, that is not a no. I can still win, and you’ll have to buy me brunch!” Emil told him with a smile. 

“Emil if you wanted me to take you out all you have to do is ask, no need to…” Yuuri was not able to finish before Emil was running straight towards him. He moved away and took cover behind Viktor who now stood in between them.

“Get back here,” Emil hissed but he was blocked by Viktor.

“Would you two stop it, this is serious,” Michele shouted and sent them both a death glare. “My sister can be in danger.”

Yuuri rolled his eyes and came out from hiding behind Viktor to stand next to him instead. 

“What is going on?” Viktor asked suddenly alarmed from Michele’s words. He turned to Yuuri for an answer.

“Michele thinks that Sara is in a secret relationship with someone. We have narrowed it down to a few possibilities,” Yuuri told him and stepped away to give Viktor his personal space back. “And you stop acting like Sara is getting kidnapped or something. You’ll just freak people out for no reason.” Michele only glared at him and crossed his arms.

“Wouldn’t it be easier to just ask her?” Viktor asked looking at all of them. 

“Yes.” Emil and Yuuri said at the same time. Michele made a distraught noise and left the kitchen and headed back into the living room.

“But that is not how we do things around here. We like to over-complicate everything and make it so it could potentially have a negative effect on us, and everyone involved. I mean just ask Yuuri, it like his motto.” Emil said with a shit-eating grin.

“Asshole,” Yuuri mouthed.

“Love ya too,” Emil said and then went after his friend. From where they stood, they could hear Emil yelling after Michele. “Hey, bud wait up. I love your plan don’t listen to Yuuri and Viktor. What was that about going undercover!”

“Sorry, they are a crazy pair,” Yuuri apologized to Viktor. He walked over to sit on one of the stools in the kitchen facing the window. Outside the rain had not stopped and was now falling faster. He was not looking forward to walking across campus with no umbrella, maybe he could borrow one from his crazy friends.

“Yeah, they are,” Viktor laughed and leaned against the kitchen island. “Are they always like that?”

“Oh no,” Yuuri told him with a smile. “They get worst, but you get used to them. Eventually, you won’t even bat an eye at half the shit they get into.” He smiled as he remembered the things they’ve done in the past. He always wondered how neither of them had gotten arrested or seriously hurt from all the things they’ve done.

“Have you guys been friends for long?” Viktor asked.

“Kind of. Maybe about three years, I’ve known Phichit and JJ longest. They were my first friends here,” He said.

They stood there in silence, slightly awkward because there was something they needed to talk about, but neither of them spoke up. It was his turn, he knew that. They couldn’t avoid it anymore, not when it was him who made it very clear that they were not just going to pretend it didn’t happen.

“Viktor, I never got to apologize for what I did.” Yuuri looked down at his hands in his lap and waited for Viktor to speak up.

“Why should you apologize, it was all my fault. It was all my own doing, I created something out of nothing,” Viktor told him.

“That’s not true, I do have a fault in this. I lead you on, and yeah I was drunk but that was my first mistake.” He said. Viktor shook his head in clear disagreement. “The thing is Viktor; we can go back and forth with this, and we are never going to satisfy with the answer. The truth here is that we hurt each other intentionally or not.” Viktor walked over until he was standing in front of Yuuri. His blue eyes narrowed as he looked down at him.

“You’re right, we made a mess out of things. We are both to blame if you want to look at it that way. You said that if we want to be friends, we have to work things out, and I want to do that. But Yuuri, you must understand that in order for this to work we also need to move on from it.” Viktor stared at him, his expression not one he’s seen on him before. “I’ve been thinking about this, about what you said and how things ended last time. The big question here is whether or not you can forgive me and if you will be able to trust me from now on.”

He was caught off guard by Viktor’s words. “Do you forgive me?” Yuuri found himself asking.

“I do,” He replied without thinking about it. “I do because I understand now. Before I was blinded by…hatred. I hated the way you made me feel, I hated that you treated me the same way everyone else had, and that made me want to fight back. But now that I understand that it was all me making things up, that you didn’t mean those things. It’s easy to just let all that go. There are times though, where I don’t…where I feel like this is all part of a big joke. That you’re going to laugh at me again or start whispering things behind my back. I’m scared sometimes, that everything would be the same as it’s always been.”

Hearing him say those things made him think about what was holding him back. He was scared of those things too, and somehow he felt better knowing that he was not the only one feeling those things. One thing that stuck out to him was Viktor’s ability to just let go of things, to make them stop having meaning. Yuuri couldn’t do that, but he wished he could it would make his life so much easier. Maybe that was something he could learn from him as they moved forward. Suddenly moving on didn’t sound so hard, not when he knew there was an option to learn how to let go of the past.

“I do forgive you because I also know you didn’t mean all those things. It easy to forgive that way, but I can’t forget how it made me feel. That is what I’m still struggling with but hearing that you are struggling too makes me feel better because we can work on it together. I want to learn to trust you and I want you to trust me too.” Yuuri told him. 

Viktor nodded in agreement and gave him a smile. There was something different from that particular smile that intrigued Yuuri. He’s seen him smile on multiple occasions, and only recently had those smiles been directed towards him. Yet none of them looked exactly like the one he was giving him at that moment. It was a hopeful smile, a peace offering, and one that looked forward to the future. He was learning things about Viktor slowly, and each thing he discovered was filled with surprises. Now he just needed to learn to trust Viktor and himself as well. To do that they needed to spend more time together. At that thought, a light bulb went off in his head and he smiled at his idea.

“Want to join our recon mission, it can be our first official group bonding experience,” Yuuri offered as he stood up from his seat. Viktor looked at him warily. “Look it’s either this or whatever Phichit has planned. I can assure you this is probably the safest option, Phichit tends to go a little overboard.”

“You have new member initiations?” Viktor asked amazed. “What is this, drama club?”

“We do, it started with JJ and it was hilarious. It’s mostly to see if we can all get along, and it a fantastic way of letting someone know how chaotic this group can get. Results vary, and so far, no one has run away or gotten arrested.” Yuuri pointed out. 

Phichit was a chaotic soul, he loved to cause mayhem and as his best friend, Yuuri had a front-row seat to it all. His friend was easy to get along with when interaction time was limited. With the years he’s gotten used to the crazy that came with being friends with him. The crazy continued with JJ who was as chaotic as Phichit. Before Yuuri knew it, they had assembled a group filled with people who loved to make a mess out of things and laugh while doing it.

Of course, Yuuri was not the exception. He’s had his fun watching his friends make complete fools out of themselves in the past. Their initiation process was more of an upfront warning of what to expect from hanging out with them, than any form of hazing that most expected from the word initiation. The only people making a fool of themselves were his friends and not the newcomers. 

Viktor willingly, much to Yuuri’s surprise, agreed to join them. Emil and Yuuri watched in delight as Michele retold his plan to Viktor who watched with a confused and alarmed look in his eyes. Then they went in search of every name on their list, the search didn’t last long due to poor weather conditions and because they had no idea how to get in contact with half the guys on the list. Most of the time was spent walking around campus with Michele asking, rhetorically, why his sister would keep such a secret from him and Emil reminding him that he was a good brother.

“I guess Sara and Michele are really close,” Viktor commented. They walked behind Emil and Michele simply because they had heard enough of Michele’s lamenting whines and because if they made eye contact Michele would just go on another rant about why he doesn’t trust any guy on the list with his sister.

“They are. Michele feels like he needs to be her protector for some reason. I’m actually pretty sure that it’s Sara who does most of the actual protecting.” She was one of the few who was not a nut case like all his other friends, and more often than not she was the voice of reason. “I get it though, the need to keep someone you care about safe. You don’t want anything to hurt them, so you do everything you can to keep that harmful thing away.” He added.

Viktor nodded, then turned to him as if he just realized something. “Do you have siblings too?”

“I do, an older sister,” Yuuri replied while looking up at the stars in the sky. “Her name is Mari and I haven’t seen her in a while.”

It was getting late; the streetlights had turned on a few minutes ago but campus still felt busy. They would pass groups of people on their way out or others on their way back in various degrees of intoxicated. It was only Wednesday but it was not surprising to him to see the student body already getting wasted.

“She’s back in Japan, right?” Viktor asked. Yuuri nodded.

“You and Michele are lucky, you have your siblings here. Somedays I wished I could have Mari here with me too, things were always easier when she’s around.” Siblings could seem like the worst at times, and fights could be assured, but at the end of the day no one knew you like a sister or a brother. No one could understand like that one person who grew up with you.

“It must be nice to have that kind of relationship with someone. Yura and I are not like that, he used to talk to me more, but as we got older he started to push me away.” Viktor said with a sad tone. “We were never really close, I always tried to give him his space, but maybe I shouldn’t have. Now it’s too late.”

“It’s not, it’s never too late to try. I’m not going to pretend to know what is going on between you and Yurio, but he is very good at taking what he is given. He takes it, begrudgingly, but he takes it. So, if you give him attention and affection, he’ll accept it. It might take time, but he’ll accept it.” Yuuri told him. Yurio was a very peculiar person when it came to receiving affection, that by no means meant that he didn’t want it. He would just never ask for it or show his emotions when he received it. “You could also try going home more often, spending time with him and your dad.” He added just because he felt like it was the least, he could do for Yakov and Yurio.

“I do want to go home, but…” Viktor trailed off and started off with a sigh. “I know I did a mistake by ignoring them, and I’m scared. I can already see what it did to my relationship, or whatever I had with Yura.” Viktor shook his head and gave Yuuri a half-smile.

“Why are you scared to go see your family, why did you stop?” Yuuri couldn’t help himself from asking. The face Viktor made was enough for Yuuri to know that he had asked too much. “Sorry, you don’t have to tell me. I shouldn’t have asked.” He apologized.

“It’s just something I don’t want to talk about right now. I don’t even know why I’m scared, it’s all actually really stupid,” He chuckled although there was no humor behind it.

“Your feelings are not stupid Viktor. But I understand, you don’t have to say anything.” They walked in silence and listened instead to Emil and Michele arguing in front of them about something completely different. That was how they ended up fighting over the best superhero movie for the remainder of the night.

That night as he laid in bed wide awake, he thought back to his conversation with Viktor. It had felt nice to have a conversation with him, one where he was able to learn more about him. He was able to joke with him and not once did he feel like Viktor was planning something to hurt him again. It really all came down to trust as Viktor had pointed out.

***

When morning came along, Yuuri bypassed his usual morning coffee for green tea. There was still caffeine in it, but it made him feel like he was at least trying to be healthy. He took a granola bar, his bag, and left the dorm room. It was raining outside again; it wasn’t even the light drizzle it had been the day before. The rain was coming down hard and Yuuri cursed himself for not looking out his window before leaving. Regardless, he crossed campus to the art building umbrella-less and getting completely drenched. At least he had half a mind to wear a coat, it was a blue jacket that did very little against the cold, but at least it had a hood and was semi-waterproof. To say he was not a happy Yuuri was an understatement, he was not having a very good start to his day.

“Yuuri!” he heard the distinctive voice of Viktor behind him a flight of stairs below him. Yuuri looked over the railing to see Viktor climbing the stairs at a fast pace to catch up to him.

“Hey, did you get caught in the rain. It came out of nowhere,” Viktor said when he finally caught up. He shook his umbrella a few times before tying it.

“Yeah,” was all Yuuri said and started to move. “I hate his weather.” Viktor chuckled beside him.

He now hated the fact they were only on the third flight of stairs and that their class was on the fifth floor. He should have taken the elevator instead. But with his luck he would have gotten stuck, he knew better than to tempt fate now. Viktor didn’t look the least affected after half running three sets of stairs to catch up to him.

“I didn’t ask last time, but why weren’t you at lunch yesterday?” Viktor asked after a pause.

“I had a meeting with Celestino that went a little over,” He admitted. “Did you already have your meeting?”

Meetings like that were not uncommon as the end of the year drew closer. They usually met with their assigned mentor and talked about classes they would take next year and any requirements they still had to complete. In their case, it was about graduation and what followed.

“Yeah, last week. He asked what I would be doing for my exhibition piece, why are they so worried about that?” Viktor asked.

They usually weren’t. The exhibition was not even a big deal for most students. But for others, it was ‘the’ moment. Critics came to look at what they called the newbies and determined if they would make it in the art world. In other words, if people would be willing to pay the big money for their creations. Celestino and Lilia had connections and those connections were coming. It was a big opportunity for him to showcase his talent, he knew that Celestino would be promoting him along with Lilia. And now that Minako will also be making an appearance that would put him on a bigger spotlight. Maybe they were trying to do the same with Viktor, it made sense too. He was good, he had a future in this if that was what he wanted to do with his degree.

“Critics are coming, they probably think that it will help boost your exposure once you're out of college,” He told him. Yuuri started to wonder what Viktor’s plans after graduation were, he probably already had more than one option set out. Viktor was crazy talented and there was no way anyone didn’t recognize it. 

“Oh, I didn’t know that. Are you excited to showcase your work?” They were now on the correct floor and Yuuri was a little winded even as he tried to hide it. The last thing he wanted was for Viktor to see how out of shape he was.

“I’m never excited about that, but there is no point in dwelling too much in something that is going to happen regardless,” he answered. Having people judge him was never his favorite thing, he used to be horrible at taking criticism and over the years he’s had to work to get rid of that fear or minimize it that the very most. 

“That’s true, it is a little intimidating to show off your work like that.” Viktor expressed. Yuuri could agree with him on that, they shared a knowing look before continuing their way to class. They made it to their classroom with minutes to spare, there were a few students already there and most of the tables were empty.

“Do you want to sit together?” Viktor asked when Yuuri started looking around for a place to sit.

“Sure,” Yuuri replied, just to be courteous.

After all, he couldn’t think of an appropriate reason to say otherwise, at least not one that sounded friendly enough to not ruin what little they had. Plus, he found that at that moment he didn’t mind sitting next to him. Yuuri picked a table off to a side and closer where Professor Baranovskaya stood for most of the class period. Just because he didn’t mind sitting next to Viktor, it didn’t mean that he didn’t want to watch him squirm a bit. Seung Gil and Georgi joined them only a few minutes later and took the table behind them. They spoke to Viktor and Yuuri busied himself by looking through his notes and tried not to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“Hey, Yuuri?” He heard Georgi call out to him. Hesitantly, he looked up from his noted and turned in the sound of Georgi’s voice.

“Hmm?” He grunted while digging through his bag for a pen.

“Your cool with us sitting with you guys in the cafeteria, right?” He questioned.

“I have no reason to oppose, why do you ask?” Yuuri asked looking around at the others.

“You weren’t there yesterday, we didn’t know if you weren’t there because we were,” Seung Gil replied. The thought hadn’t even crossed his mind. Judging by the look on their faces he realized that was what they all thought.

“I guess my meeting with Celestino came at the wrong time,” He said more to himself than to the three boys around him. “I don’t mind, sorry if you felt that way.”

“We were just wondering. Most of your group was not there, but JJ, Phichit, Leo, and Sara were very welcoming,” Seung Gil continued. There was a hint of sarcasm that made him frown. Just what had his friends done, Yuuri thought. 

“If you are going to be part of the group from now on, I think we should all hang out, at least so we get used to each other,” Yuuri found himself saying. Phichit would be proud of him for initiating a social gathering on his own.

“Are my friends invited too?”

“Of course, they are,” Yuuri laughed for good measure. “We just need to come up with a good plan, and by the way, if you suggest camping, I will automatically unfriend you,” He added.

“What is wrong with camping?” Georgi asked.

“I will unfriend you,” Yuuri threaten. He was half-joking…. only half. Georgi laughed and raised his hands in front of him.

Professor Baranovskaya walked in just in time holding with her a stack of papers in her hand. Yuuri could feel the start air deflate in the room as soon as they saw her. He was both surprised and impressed she managed to get all the grading done in such a short time. And even had time to have a birthday dinner at her boyfriend’s house, how productive of her. She was also one of the very few teachers that didn’t like to have TA’s, so she did all the grading. Beside him, Yuuri saw Viktor tense up in his seat and it took a lot of self-control on Yuuri’s part to not laugh.

“I have graded everyone’s test; I must say I’m rather disappointed in the overall results. I do hope everyone does better on the final.” She said. Her tone was not angry, it was just filled with disappointment. Yuuri couldn’t help think that disappointment was worse than anger.

Yuuri started to raise his hand and Lilia turned to him, her eyes drifting towards Viktor for a fraction of a second before looking away with a hint of a smile on her face. “The overall class score was seventy-nine percent, that is five whole points less than last term’s class.” She told them. Yuuri’s hand went down.

Seventy-nine was a good score, but not for an advanced class like hers. She didn’t expect perfection, but she did expect consistency, and her disappointment probably came from that difference in grade for each student. Now he wondered what he got, he was pretty good at keeping a consistent outcome in test and papers alike. His scores were mostly in the high 90’s.

“Oh god, what if I did really bad?” Beside him, Viktor was having a meltdown of his own. “Do you think it would reflect badly on my dad. I don’t even know what to do, should I greet her or something?” Viktor whispered and leaning closer to him so only he could hear. Yuuri stiffed up at how close Viktor had gotten and he barely heard what he had said regardless of distance. 

“Just act normal, she won’t treat you any different either,” Yuuri reassured him. She walked by them and Yuuri held a chuckle as Viktor stiffed up at her presence. Two papers were placed face down on the table and Lilia didn’t even give them a second glance. Yuuri was about to flip over his paper when Viktor grabbed him by the arm.

“I don’t want to look, you look for me,” Viktor shoved his paper over to him and then closed his eyes. “If it’s low don’t tell me and just burn it,” He added then looked away.

Dramatic was the word that popped into his mind, Viktor was dramatic. He’s heard about it, many who know him said so. But Yuuri had never experienced his overly dramatic side, not even that clingily side everyone spoke of. Now he was and he was not sure how to feel about it.

“What is low to you?” Yuuri asked as he shook Viktor’s hand off and reached out for his paper. He flipped it over and saw an eighty-nine on the grade section. Yuuri made a face, at least he was consistent. But it was something about the fact he was one point from getting an A that bugged him again.

“You made a face, is it that bad?” Viktor whined. “Oh no, my dad is probably going to kill me, isn’t he?” He added.

Yuuri looked over his grade break down and tried to decipher where his points were marked off. Most of the points were lost in the writing portion of the test, lack of clarity, and continuity. He wondered if Viktor liked to ramble off like Georgi or if he got too impatient and didn’t fully answer a question. Yuuri could honestly see him as both.

“Yuuri?” Viktor called out to him again. His eyes were wide, his blue eyes even more vivid as he looked at him waiting for an answer.

“It’s an okay score Viktor,” Yuuri told him with a laugh.

“Just okay?” Viktor stared at him with wide eyes.

“Well, what is your ideal grade?” He asked looking over the test again. He was by no means in danger of failing the class and based on his other scores he was on a good way of getting a B+. Maybe an A- if he pulled through in the final. He had high scores, but that was not surprising coming from the son of the university’s president.

“Well I’m not greedy, my target is always a passing score, but my ideal score is anything around a seventy-five, at the least,” Viktor replied.

“A seventy-five?” Yuuri asked in shock. Did he really have not confidence in himself, just the thought sounded wrong. Yuuri was always told to shoot high, he would have not thought that someone like Viktor would settle for less than a perfect score.

“Is that too much of a reach?” Viktor asked with a face. “A seventy then?”

Yuuri put up a hand and passed him his paper. “You passed,” He told him.

“An eighty-nine, that’s great,” Viktor exclaimed and turned around to his friends behind them who had been watching the entire exchange with amusement. “What did you guys get?”

Georgi had gotten an eighty-seven, Yuuri could already guess where most of his points were lost. While Seung Gil had gotten a ninety-eight, again typical of him. Yuuri turned over his paper around and hummed in content when he saw a ninety-five on the grading score. Just as his Professor liked it, consistent.

“What you get Yuuri?” Georgi asked while looking up from Seung Gil’s paper as they compared answers.

“Ninety-five percent,” Yuuri told him while he looked over his own test with a smile. Lilia was a tough grader but Yuuri had figured her out. Over the span of four years and five classes with her as his teacher, Yuuri had developed a foolproof method of getting as many possible points in her class with minimal work. Sure, his notes may be crazy, but professor Baranovskaya did her test the same way, so he knew what to focus on. After all, even she was consistent. 

“Nerd,” He heard the guys on the table beside them tease a few chuckled followed. Beside him, he felt Viktor tense up and saw his head turn in his direction.

“You know it,” Yuuri retorted and went back to his notes, “What did you guys get?” He shot back. Silence followed. Yuuri smiled and shook his head. 

“Hey Yuuri, we should run a study group like last time for the final,” He heard Monica call out from where she was sitting in the middle.

“If our class average is seventy-nine percent, we’ll need it. We can get something together and email the rest of the class,” Yuuri told her and the entire class. She nodded and took out what looked like her planner and started flipping through pages. 

“And speaking of groups, I think it’s time everyone starts working on their final presentation. The end of the term may seem far away, but we all know how fast time passes after midterms,” Professor Baranovskaya reminded everyone as she circled back to the front of the room.

Class continued without a hitch, and Yuuri found himself with his head leaning on a propped-up hand staring at the clock. Eyes wandered towards Viktor beside him. He was sitting up straight in his chair and paying the professor extra attention. Yuuri couldn’t help but smile that, He wondered what else he was going to learn from Viktor that was not secondhand information. Was he just as talkative as Phichit or silent like Otabek, how well could he hold his alcohol? Could he dance or was the type who just watched. There was so much to learn from a person and Yuuri wondered if he would have enough time to learn enough of the guy sitting next to him.

The school year was coming to an end and with it the end to his life at school. While he knew that he would be in contact with all his friends he wondered if that would also extend towards his new friends. Or were these few weeks all he would ever have with Viktor. Would he just become another person he used to know? There were so many questions that Yuuri brewed up in his head that he had not done the most important thing in a Professor Baranovskaya class, and that was paying attention…or at least act like he was.

“…Yuuri?”

His face snapped towards the front where Professor Baranovskaya stood looking right at him one eyebrow raised and a hand on her hip. The classroom had gone silent as they all stared at him.

“Yeah?” He asked confused.

“What is the answer to my question, Yuuri?” She asked. Her eyes narrowed at him and Yuuri felt like a bug under a magnifying glass. He had not been paying attention and now he didn’t even have a witty come back.

“Stop staring at Viktor and pay attention. You can look at him all you want on your own time.” She said after a long pause and moved on. He could see the start of a smirk on her face. Yuuri closed his eyes to block out all the chuckled that erupted.

That was it, that was how Yuuri Katsuki died, from embarrassment. He should be used to it by now his life was a shitshow after all. The snickering died down after a while and class resumed, but Yuuri only stared straight ahead. From the corner of his eye, he saw Viktor occasionally turn to him but Yuuri didn’t turn, he didn’t move. The last thing he wanted was for people to start getting the wrong idea about things. Something told him that Lilia already had some ideas of her own. He tried to breathe through his embarrassment and hoped the clock moved faster so he could escape. His new goal was to hide under his bed until graduation.

“We’ll stop here and pick up next week, remember to do the reading. I might or might not quiz you on it,” Professor Baranovskaya reminded everyone. “Yuuri can I have a word please.” She added and walked over to her desk.

Yuuri started to pack his things and sighed. He didn’t even wait for Viktor to stand up from his chair, Yuuri was already squeezing though. Most students were filing out the door and he was lucky they all avoided the main desk.

“Sorry.” Was all she said when he stopped in front of her desk. The smile she was trying to hide told him that she was not sorry at all.

“It’s okay, it would have been hilarious had it not been me,” Yuuri told her with a smile. It was tense and forced, Lilia looked right through it.

“You two are sitting together again, does that mean something changed?” She asked.

“We are trying to be friends, I think,” Yuuri admitted, he really didn’t want to go through the entire explanation of their situation. It was long and embarrassing and he was done being embarrassed for the day.

“This morning Yakov told me that a certain post about you and Viktor came to his attention,” she continued. “What is that about?”

“It’s not…real, it’s…is he mad?” Yuuri found his hands turning to fists. The last thing he wanted was for Yakov to be angry at him for dragging his son into that mess.

“No, of course not. He’s curious and concerned. Frankly so am I, I didn’t know there was much gossip in this school. If they are fake allegations you should have let us know sooner, that way we can put a stop to this.” Her stone-cold expression didn’t falter even if her words were comforting. He had never expected her to care for things like that. It probably had to do with the fact she was dating Yakov. 

“It’s not a big deal, they just put a bunch of nonsensical things together and called a theory. I can’t speak for Viktor, but it stopped bugging me when I decided it was meaningless.” Yuuri admitted. He had taken Yurio’s advice, there was no reason to fret over something that was not true. Doing anything would just make them think that they had something to hide.

“Very well, if this continues, however, let us know. Viktor rarely talks to Yakov and he fears that if something bad is happening he won’t hear about it from him,” She told him.

“Of course, I’ll keep you posted if more post about Viktor pops up,” Yuuri reassured her. He hadn’t thought about the ways that post could affect other people other than himself and Viktor. He just hoped that it didn’t make him look bad to Mr. Feltman.

“This goes for you too, you don’t need to go through anything alone Yuuri,” She sent him a stern look. “We are always here to help.”

Yuuri nodded and readjusted his bag strap on his shoulder. “I know, I’ll see you later.” He waved and walked out the door. He was ready to bail on lunch again and maybe go hide somewhere. But as soon as he walked out, he was greeted by Viktor, Georgi, and Seung Gil who were leaning on the wall waiting for him. He held in a sigh and walked over to them meeting Viktor halfway.

“Are you in trouble?” Viktor asked as he peered over Yuuri’s shoulder to look inside.

“No,” Yuuri told him. He started to walk towards the stairs. Everyone was quiet and it was making Yuuri uncomfortable. “Your dad found out about the blog post.” He ended up adding.

“Ah shit, really?” Viktor cursed and took out his phone. “Is he mad or something, are you okay?” He turned to look at him. There was a flash of panic in his eyes that switched to concerned.

“Yeah, Lilia said he’s just curious and concerned. You should probably talk to him,” Yuuri told him. Viktor nodded and started typing into his phone.

“So, it’s true, your dad is dating the professor?” Georgi asked with a snicker, “I didn’t believe it when Chris told us.” They walked to the cafeteria together. Their conversation was just Seung Gil and Georgi trying to get a reaction out of Viktor. Their friends sat in their usual table by the wall of windows looking out the courtyard. He saw Phichit first because he was waving at them.

“I swear I will punch you in the face,” Viktor hissed as they started asking how he felt about potentially having Lilia as his mom. Yuuri laughed the whole time they were in line and realized he was going to like hanging out with them.


	16. To Kill Two Birds with One Stone

Sometimes memories turn into nightmares, and those nightmares he could never run away from, no matter how fast or far he ran. Voices blended into each other until they were incoherent noises in the background, but he didn’t need to hear what they were saying for him to understand their words…to remember them. There was a sharp pain in the center of his chest as shadows grew around corners whispering and laughing, his name being the only word he could make out. There was a sharp pain in the middle of his chest that made it hard to breathe.

Then he was falling again, everything around him was dark except from the dot of white over him, that seemed to be closing as he fell deeper. The pain from his chest disappeared as he fell freely, but whatever few seconds of serenity he had were quickly replaced by utter panic. He clawed into the air trying to find anything to hold on to, but his hands only found air. As he fell, he felt fear starting to emerge and then regret, immense regret that threatened to suffocate him. He couldn’t see them in the darkness around him, but he knew his hands were shaking, waving around trying to find something to hold on to, but there was nothing. There was always nothing but darkness, fear, and regret. He never touched ground, he never finished falling, he only kept tumbling into endless darkness until he woke up with a jolt, covered in sweat and his hand over his mouth trying to keep a sob from escaping his lips.

There were times when those dreams had been his nightly routine. Days when he feared going to sleep because he knew that when he closed his eyes he would be falling again. Those dreams that used to haunt him so much diminished, not instantly, but gradually over time. Eventually, they stopped happening and were replaced with happier dreams, and in some nights nothing more than just a good night's rest. Yuuri was not sure when was the last time he dreamed of falling when was the last time he felt so hopeless and helpless as he dwelled in his regret, resentment, and all those emotions he’s tried to escape from.

He sat up from his bed and looked over to the window in between Phichit’s and his bed. The sky outside was still dark, and he didn’t have to glance at his phone to know that it was too early to be awake, but he knew there was a very small chance of him going back to sleep. Especially when his heart was beating so fast and his hands were shaking in the way they were at that moment. Instead of idly staring up at the ceiling for the next few hours or until Phichit woke up and dragged him somewhere, Yuuri sat up. His bare feet touched the cold floor and a shiver ran up his spine causing him to become even more awake. He took a deep breath and looked around the room trying to ground himself again. He needed to remind himself that he was here now, and not there…that he was no longer in danger of falling.

A morning run sounded like a good idea until he was actually doing the running. Even with music going as high as his ears could tolerate; his mind was too loud. He kept thinking back to his dream and the reason why he was having them…why now…why again? He pushed past his exhaustion and focused on the ache instead of whatever his head was making up. He was gasping for air by the time the sun came up and he saw the first person walking around campus. Deciding that pulling a muscle was not a risk he was willing to take, he came to a stop in front of the vending machines outside the main office. He took a deep breath and focused on the silence around him until that silence was broken.

“Preparing for the Olympics or something?” a female voice asked from behind him while he was standing waiting for the water bottle he had bought to drop. He turned slightly to his right to see Kitty standing with a smile on her face. “Or are you running away from someone?”

Yuuri laughed and bent down to pick up his water. He was running away from someone, mostly himself, but he didn’t want to get into that. So instead he snickered and shook his head before taking a gulp of water.

“I couldn’t sleep, thought a run could help,” he told her as he wiped the drops of water that had spilled down his mouth. It was a half-truth at least; he wasn’t lying this time around. “What are you doing out so early?” He asked curiously. He looked her over to see her holding a stack of folders to her chest.

“I have a meeting with a few classmates for a group project in the library,” She replied while making a displeased face.

“This early?” Yuuri asked surprised. He looked around finding everything as empty as it had been when he first left this room. It was Friday and very few had classes, it was also too early to be out and about.

“Yeah, they suck and if anyone is late, heads will roll,” She told him with a face that made Yuuri glad he was not in her group.

“You want anything?” He asked pointing at the vending machine in front of him. She shook her head.

“I’m good, thank you,” She said. She looked at him carefully for a second, looking as if she was debating whether to ask whatever question she had in her head. Yuuri tilted his head and rose an eyebrow to nudge her question forward. “So, I saw you and Viktor hanging out two days in a row, does that mean that you two worked things over?” Kitty asked casually as they turned to walk down the paved ground.

He didn’t know how to reply to that without going into an overly complicated explanation that optimally concluded in revealing how clueless and so easy to judge they both had been. He also didn’t think she wanted him to talk about something she probably already knew.

“Yeah, we talked and we’re working on being friends now,” He told her instead. Kitty nodded beside him as they walked in the direction of the library.

“That’s good, I thought that with the whole blog post that went around you two would fight again,” Kitty said. Yuuri groaned at the mention of that stupid post and wished it could just go away, but he had to admit that because of that post he made his mind to talk to Viktor. So, at least something good came out of that damn thing.

“I think it was that post that gave me the push I needed to talk to Viktor. Don’t get me wrong, the post was ridiculous and intrusive, but it at least led to something…good.” He and Viktor talking was good, Yuuri thought. It was much better than whatever they had been doing up until then and he found that having a conversation with Viktor was kind of nice. The awkwardness was still there, but that was also just part of his own personality, and he couldn’t blame Viktor for that. 

“Why do you say the post was ridiculous and intrusive, it didn’t say anything mean about you. In fact, it praised you and Viktor,” Kitty said to him. She looked at him confused and Yuuri did the same.

“Sure,” Yuuri could agree, “But it also spread lies based on pure assumptions about things that could have been a coincidence,” he added. He felt like he’s had this argument before, probably with Phichit.

“But was it a coincidence?” Kitty asked shrewdly like she knew the answer. She probably did, because anyone with two eyes could see that there was some truth on that assumption. That part was what made Yuuri feel embarrassed.

“That’s not the point. What is wrong is that they are using my life as a method of entertainment without my consent. It’s not okay to talk about someone’s life like that, what I do and don’t do is not for public consumption. What happened to respecting people’s privacy?” Yuuri didn’t mean for his voice or words to come out so harsh, but he was fed up. He turned to Kitty to apologize for his tone, after all, it was not her fault either. 

“I guess you’re right,” Kitty told him, and before he had a chance to open his mouth, she turned to him and stopped walking. “But you see, you and Viktor are these—I don’t know how to put it—you two are people of interest, everyone wants to know more about you two. Viktor was this mysterious new character that arrived out of nowhere with his pretty smiles and incredible talent, and you are someone that not many know anything about despite being here for the last four years. Together you two created this air of…. mystery that people find so intriguing, and when it came out that you two hated each other it made everything even more interesting.”

Yuuri stared at Kitty in surprise, mostly because he didn’t know what people could find interesting about him, it made no sense to him. He could see how Viktor could catch the attention of people, he was intriguing, and Kitty was right about that. He too had been more than intrigue than he first laid eyes on him. He had looked him up, how could he not. He had found examples of Viktor’s work relatively easy, from when he was younger and more recent ones. His exposure was immense and Yuuri had felt intimidated by simply being in the same room as him. One glance at Viktor’s work told him the reason why he was so popular, and the fact he was added to the hall of arts so quickly only proved Viktor’s talent.

Yuuri had wanted to know everything about Viktor in that moment. And he had gone on that school forum to search for anything about him. The realization of how much of a hypocrite he was being hit him then. He expected others to respect his privacy when he didn’t do that himself. Maybe he was just as bad as everyone else who fed into gossip blogs, it was not a nice feeling. 

‘I’m not interesting enough for people to be intrigued about me,” was the only thing Yuuri could think of saying back. Kitty rolled her eyes beside me and shook her head like she didn’t believe what Yuuri was saying. “I’m just Yuuri, nothing special about me. And don’t act like it’s some hard thing to understand, it’s true,” Yuuri argued.

They were heading in the direction of the library where few students were making their way as well. The courtyard was mostly filled with morning birds chippering as they flew from their trees. The morning breeze and sun felt nice especially after running as much as he had only a few minutes ago. As they walked, Yuuri already knew that his legs and thighs were going to be in pain for a while. 

“I don’t agree, but let’s just leave it at that,” She smiled at him. Kitty’s response surprised him.

“Please, like you care what I do,” Yuuri hmphed and rolled his eyes. “Other people don’t care either, they think they do, but they don’t. Post like that only served to give people something to do while they are bored or looking for something to procrastinate on. They read it and cast their judgment and then move on. I wouldn’t normally care much for it, it’s not the first time there have been posts about me. But they are now dragging someone else into it and telling lies that others will probably believe.”

Kitty stayed quiet after Yuuri finished talking and he didn’t push her to say anything. It wasn’t until they were at the bottom of the stairs that went up to the library entrance when she turned to him. She gave him a once over and then put a hand on her hip while narrowing her eyes at him. Yuuri found himself folding into himself a bit, he was never good under scrutiny.

“There are people who care, people who look up to you too. Maybe you could try stepping out of your own head a bit and look around. I think it’s something you and Viktor both have in common, neither of you realizes what’s around you. You only see what you want to see, hear what you want to hear, feel what you want to feel, and that is blinding you to everything else around you.” There was a brief pause of silence as Kitty waited for him to say anything but Yuuri was left speechless. “Open your eyes, Yuuri. The real world is out here, not in there,” She added as she poked the side of his head with a finger.

She was right, Yuuri could admit that. He did tend to live inside of his head and only lookout when it was convenient. Maybe if he had been more aware of his surroundings he would have seen Viktor trying to get his attention all those months ago, maybe he would have seen all the signs that something was not right before it turned wrong. He could have put a stop to everything right when it started. But he only saw what he wanted to see, heard what he wanted to hear, and felt what he wanted to feel. And to prove her right even more, he didn’t notice when she said goodbye and walked away. He ended up standing at the foot of the stairs alone by the time he came back from his thoughts. He sighed loudly and decided to walk back to his dorm.

He was walking across the courtyard when he saw another familiar face walking on the opposite side of the yard. He waved his hand at Sara, but she didn’t notice him. In fact, she didn’t notice much of anything, not even the guy she almost collided with. All her attention was on her phone as she typed and then looked around anxiously. His curiously was pecked, so he went after her keeping a safe distance, but close enough to be able to catch up if there was trouble. He could see her tense shoulders from where he walked behind her and the constant looking around was making him worry.

She was heading towards the art building, but instead of walking up the main doors, she took a turn towards the back. There was a short-paved walkway that leads to a connecting annex where materials were mostly kept for storage and purchase. He assumed she was probably going to buy supplies and started to speed up to catch up. If he was already in the area he might as well stock up as well, they both had a piece to do before the end of the term after all. He was about to call out to her when Sara stopped walking, made a half-turn as she started talking.

“I’m sorry, I know I said I would tell him yesterday, but I just couldn’t. I need more time, I don’t know how to tell Michele yet,” Sara told someone. Yuuri flatten himself against the wall and took cover behind a tree trunk. A figure stood up from one of the benches near the end of the pathway. Yuuri peered over in time to see Sara grab their hand and hold it, the figure was completely obscured to him by the trees and bushes around. “I don’t know how he’ll react; I just need a little more time to…prepare myself…in case…” Sara trailed off and let out a sorrowful sigh.

“I understand, I don’t mind this. As long as I can be with you,” another familiar voice said. Yuuri covered his mouth with his hand to keep from gasping out loud. “I care about you Sara, and I don’t care what everyone else might say. But if this is important to you, I’m willing to wait for as long as you need. Now we only need to come up with a way to get your brother off our back so we can go on our date today.” The last sentence was said on a lighter note.

“I think he suspects something; he’s been acting strange lately,” Sara said. “I’m just so scared.” Yuuri moved from his hiding spot when he didn’t hear them speak for a while and saw them hugging. Dark hair completely obscured by the arms of the taller redhead holding her close.

“Everything will be okay, I promise. If not I will personally knock some sense into your brother,” Mila told Sara.

They shared a few more words and he stayed hidden until he heard them walking away. When he could no longer hear their footsteps, he let out a breath he had been holding and smiled wide. He had not seen that coming, it made sense for some reason though. He also knew that Michele would sooner accept Mila above anyone else and that Sara’s worries were nonsensical. But at last, it was something they needed to work out between themselves. All Yuuri could do was maybe help Sara and Mila out a bit. A plan formed in his head, one that could kill a few birds with the same stone. Feeling better and with a purpose, he practically skipped back to his dorm ready to get his idea started.

****

If he thought that Yurio was a bad driver, Viktor was somehow worst. Every turn Viktor took, Yuuri was tempted to make him stop the car and take over instead. Beside him, Emil and Michele held on to anything they could grab. It meant that while Emil was grabbing onto the door for dear life, Michele had both their hands in an iron grip. Yuuri could feel his hand growing numb. In the front Yurio was yelling at Viktor and holding the grab handle by the door with both hands. Yuuri would be laughing if he was not fear for his own life at the moment.

“Tell me again why those two had to come?” Emil asked as they heard the car behind them beep at them.

“The more the better?” He told his friend and tried to ignore the other one who was holding on to his numbed and probably bruised hand. Emil did not look convinced in the slightest. “They have a car.” He pointed out.

Now he wondered if it was a good idea to have taken the car in the first place. The bus would have been a better option, at least he could trust the drivers to know how to make a safe turn into traffic. The look on both Michele and Emil told them they were thinking the same thing.

“Viktor for fucks sakes use your damn blinker!” Yurio yelled as Viktor switched lanes again. It was followed by a series of honks and beeps from behind them.

“Sorry, I forgot,” Viktor said and giggled a bit. No one else in the car found it funny.

“We’re all going to die,” Emil said dramatically from his side. “But it's all to find out who Sara is dating because someone cannot talk to his sister and just ask.” He added while glaring at Michele.

“You’re saying this is my fault?” Michele’s head snapped in Emil’s direction. Luckily that caused him to release his grip on Yuuri’s hand and he could now try to nurse his hand back to life.

“Well it isn’t mine,” Emil argued. Yuuri rolled his eyes while he flanged his hand back and forth to try and bring some feeling back to it.

“Damn it Viktor, I swear I’ll punch you in the face. The speed limit is not a suggestion, slow the fuck down!” Yurio yelled from the front.

Yuuri slouched back into the seat wondering where his amazing idea had gone, they were not even at their destination and everything was already falling apart. They were making their way to an arcade center where he told them he “might” have heard a guy from Michele’s list would be at. After insinuating that it was a perfect date spot, Michele was still a little hesitant at first which felt a little weird, but after a little prompting, he agreed to go.

That was where Viktor came in with his convenient car, Yurio had been dragged along because he had just so happened to be home when they showed up. It started out great until Yuuri realized Viktor was a safety hazard behind the wheel. The place Yuuri picked was a place Isabella had shown them while they were all living together, and it was actually not far from the apartment they stayed during summer. They had gone a couple of times during their break and they always had a blast.

“Here, are you sure?” Michele asked once they arrived. He was looking around the outside of the building with a calculating expression. Meanwhile, Emil and Yurio were kissing the ground and thanking their lucky stars they managed to survive the ride, Viktor looked at them with his arms crossed and a pout.

“Oh yeah, this is definitely the place,” Yuuri told him and hit him on the shoulder. “Come one let's go in and try to blend in.” Yuuri was the first to move towards the entrance. Michele looked at the building and then behind him before shrugging and walking forward as well.

“Alright, wouldn’t have been my first choice though,” He said to himself. Yuuri was about to ask him what he meant when Viktor reached them and spoke up.

“Who exactly told you about this?” Viktor asked. There was a hint of disbelief in his tone and Yuuri turned slightly towards Michele to see if he also had any lingering disbelief. His friend simply looked at them and turned to wait for Emil instead, leaving them at the entrance of the building. 

“I already told you, I can’t say who my informant was, but they are very reliable,” Yuuri said to him with a smile and a wink. Viktor looked at him with narrowed eyes for a few seconds.

“Okay,” Viktor chirped and shrugged his shoulders. They walked in together and held the door open for the slowpokes behind them.

“Your friends are so stupid,” Yurio stated as he walked up to them. The comment didn’t sit well with either Emil or Michele who started to argue on who was the most stupid one out of them. Yurio just looked at them in disgust.

Yuuri smiled and looked around instead, for being the time of day it was, the place was not too crowded. There were enough people where it would be hard to find a specific person and Yuuri was glad. That had been the main part of his whole plan, all he needed to do was get them to start having so much fun they all forgot the reason they came in the first place. His plan was to get Michele out of Sara’s way so she could enjoy her day free from her meddling brother. Yuuri also wanted to give both Viktor and Yuri an opportunity to hang out with each other. And looking back at his friends he could see that his plan was now in process.

“We should have invited Otabek,” Yurio said as they all took in the inside of the building. It was two stories with retro pictures everywhere, a long bar on the side, and a couple of booths and tables on the first floor. The second floor was lofted, and they could see the bright neon lights from the entrance. It was loud with the sounds of voices and game machines. It felt familiar and faintly nostalgic all at once. Memories of random summer nights when they didn’t care for much more than winning the next game.

“Hey, we are on a mission. We are not here to have fun,” Emil reminded them and hit Michele in the shoulder. From the corner of his eye, Yuuri could see his friend’s face glow in excitement but was quickly replaced by a frown of determination when he turned to Michele who was not paying attention to them and instead was looking around at all the games.

“Of course,” Yuuri chimed in and gave his shoulder a light pat. He pretended to look around for a second. “Oh look they have an air hockey competition,” He added pointing to the sign in front of them. They stared at the sign without talking at first waiting for someone to say something.

“I mean, we can play a game or two while we wait for Sara to show up. Right?” Michele said. All heads turned to Michele who only shrugged. Yuuri made the first move towards the counter with a smile. There was an order of fries with his name on it waiting for him.

“Hey Yuuri, it’s been a while,” The women at the food counter greeted him and took his order before he even opened his mouth to greet her back. They might have come around more than just a few times if Connie, the owner, knew his name and order. “Usual table?” She asked.

“Yeah, and add five shakes to that order,” He told her and looked back to his friends who were beaming with excitement about everything around them. He smiled and shook his head. They were so easily distracted.

“Want me to add you to the list, the second tournament starts in thirty minutes,” Connie told him, she took out her notepad and the pen from behind her ear.

“Yes please,” Yuuri replied and told her the names of his friends so she could add them to the list. Connie gave him a thumbs up when she was done and Yuuri turned to his friends again. “Come on, let’s grab a booth. I ordered food.” He started in the direction of his usual table that was in direct sight to the mounted TVs on the opposite walls.

“This place is kind of cool,” Viktor told him as he scooched into the booth to sit next to him. Yuuri moved until he was up against the wall, Viktor sat next to him a little closer than Yuuri was used to having him. A disgruntled Yurio sat on Viktor’s other side with his arms crossed. Emil and Michele sat opposite them with more than enough room. Perhaps he should have chosen a table instead.

“Yeah, it feels like so much is happening at the same time,” Yuuri told Viktor while looking around. Even if most of the games were upstairs and there was music playing, he could still hear the pinging and chimes from the games. “I signed us up for air hockey, it’s a thirty-minute wait,” Yuuri announced to the rest of the table. They tried not to show it too much, but they were all excited.

As he had predicted by the time food arrived, they had all forgotten the reason they came in the first place. Emil and Michele started to argue when Emil dipped his French fry into his milkshake, the latter saying it was disgusting and the other gasping in disbelief. 

“It’s a great combination, you get the sweetness of the shake with the saltiness of the fries,” Emil argued and proceeded to dip another fry into this shake and shoved it into his mouth in Michele’s face. Yuuri was nibbling on a mozzarella stick when he saw Viktor stare at the fry in his hand for a moment and then dipped it into his own shake. On his other side, he saw Yurio look at his brother with a mixture of curiously and horror. They watched the journey of expressions Viktor’s face went through when he ate the fry. Yuuri had to bite his lip to keep from laughing.

“It—it’s not good…” Viktor started, his expression settling on confusion as he licked his lips. “But it’s also not bad,” He added while looking at everyone around the table.

“It’s an acquired taste,” Yuuri told them and dunked his own fry and shoved it into his mouth. They only had Leo to blame, he had been the one to introduce them to the wonders of weird food combinations. There were a few times when Leo went a little over the top and even Phichit had drawn the line on pickles with peanut butter.

“I’m going to leave you with your soggy fries and go play some games,” Yurio stood up with a disgusted look on his face. Michele agreed with him quickly and half pushed Emil off the booth so he could get out to leaving Viktor and Yuuri alone at the table. Yuuri wanted to question how quickly Michele was just accepting everything and going along with it, but he also didn’t want to think about it much, especially if it was working.

They ended up playing on the old school arcade machines first. Yuuri watched as Michele and Yurio played a shooting game that neither of them was very good at. It had Emil bent over laughing each time they both died and angrily added more coins to try again. Yuuri had the hunch he would have to pull them away soon, preferably before they went bankrupt. Luckily boredom beat him to it and Yurio and Michele moved to the next game after a few more rounds. Emil seemed to be having the time of his life just watching them lose and followed closely behind them. Once more leaving Viktor and himself behind.

Yuuri walked beside Viktor as they followed the other three around the top floor as they tried out every game that was not currently occupied. Somehow, they got into a competitive streak where they had to beat the other’s high score. His friends were competitive as hell, to the point it became a problem. It seemed that Yurio was no different either. It was nice to see how easily Yurio let his guard down and started to joke around with both Michele and Emil.

“Sara is not coming here, is she?” Viktor asked while they moved on to another machine and were out of earshot. They had figured that if they were going to be left behind, they might as well try out the games as well. Yuuri had inserted his coins into a pinball game and Viktor stood next to him waiting for a response.

“Nope,” He replied with a smile.

So far his plan was working. While they were eating, he had snapped a picture of all of them and posted it to his social media, he even tagged their location. Sara had been the first to like the picture, so now she knew exactly where her brother was and would hopefully be able to go on that date with Mila. His phone was vibrating in his pocket even then. What he had not expected was for all his other friends to see the post and ask why they were not invited. He would have to deal with Phichit later, but for now, he would make the best of it.

“Okay, so what are we doing here then?” Viktor asked tilting his head in confusion. 

“We are playing games,” he replied and started to move the toggles and watched the little ball in front of him move. “And hopefully having fun.”

Viktor relaxed after a minute of just staring at him while he played his game. It didn’t take long for them to rejoin with the others who were now arguing at the specifics of their improvised competition. Emil had gotten tired of just watching and joined them instead, that had only insured more chaos.

When the real tournament started, they made their way towards the four air hockey tables where people were already hanging out around. The competitors from the last game were leaving when they approached, and they learned that the winner got a prize. The fifty-dollar gift card incentive made everyone more excited. Yuuri didn’t expect there to be so many people participating and he was glad there were four tables. Games would be five minutes each and simultaneously, the highest score moved on until there were only two remaining.

Yuuri didn’t expect to get far and he didn’t, he was out on his second game against a girl with pastel blue hair who was really good. His friends however were much better at the game and went on for a bit longer. The energy in the room was high, people were cheering and calling out encouraging words to the competitors. Yuuri watched his friends as they moved on, cheering when they won. Emil was the next to be kicked out, losing to the same blue-haired girl. She was a crowd favorite by the time Viktor and Michele lost. Yurio sheer determination made him the other crowed favorite.

“Come on Yura!” Viktor called out when Yurio walked over to his next competitor. He was now in the four and was looking a bit tired. His rival was a guy with a shaved head and arms filled with tattoos. None of that seemed to intimidate the blond who was cracked his back before leaning over the table again.

The next five minutes were intense. They watched Yurio score and be scored on like they were playing ping pong. The game next to them was just as intense, but they only care about the one in front of them. When the timer went off, Yurio was declared the winner. They all cheered and Yurio turned around to hug the first person he saw, who just happened to be Viktor.

“One more, you got this,” Emil said to him and Michele started to rub his shoulders.

“Blue girls’ got nothing on you,” Michele added. Viktor and Yuuri shared a look at their friend’s antics.

Blue girl was probably a professional air hockey player because she beat Yurio easily. She was fast, had strategy and Yurio was no match for her. When the five minutes ended there was a clear winner and Yurio was not happy.

“She’s a pro, is that even fair?” Michele asked.

“Whatever, it’s just a stupid game,” Yurio hissed and pushed Emil who tried offering him a drink.

“You win some, you lose some,” Yuuri said and tried to push them towards the games again. “It’s not like you need a gift card anyways,” He added. 

“This place is starting to suck,” Yurio said while looking around. The next group was starting to come in and getting ready to start the next game. They had played most of the games, at least the ones worth playing according to his friends. And now that they finished the tournament, Yuuri feared the day was coming to an end. He had fun, and he wanted to think that his friends did too.

“Don’t be a sore loser Yura,” Viktor teased his brother. He walked up to him and put an arm around him, Yurio didn’t like that and tried to pull away but Viktor held him in place.

“Let go of me!” Yurio shrieked as he tried to maneuver his way out of Viktor’s grip again. In Yuuri’s head, he pictured a kitten hissing at someone picking them up, it was hard not to smile at that.

It was nice to see them interact and Yuuri didn’t want that to end yet. He tried to think of something to keep them from going home so soon. While air hockey had not been on his plan it did work as a good distraction, even if it was not his favorite thing to play on a table or on ice. And like that, a new idea came to him and he didn’t know why he had not thought of it sooner.

“So, my contact just texted me, turns out there was a change of plans. Do you guys know how to ice skate?” Yuuri asked while he pretended to look at his phone, he found that not looking at anyone while he lied made him more believable.

“Do I look uncultured to you?” Yurio asked half offended. Yuuri stared at him not knowing if that was a yes or a no. He looked over to Viktor for help.

“Yes, we both know how to ice skate,” Viktor replied for his brother who he was still holding.

“Why, are we going ice skating?” Michele asked while pushing Yurio and Viktor to get into Yuuri’s face.

“Oi don’t push,” Yurio hissed and tried to push him away but it was hard when half of his was being gripped by Viktor.

“Yeah, I know the place, so I’ll drive us there,” Yuuri told them and turned to Viktor and held a hand open for the keys. He heard a sigh of relief from Emil as Viktor gave up the keys.

Yurio had called shotgun as soon as they exited the building because he refused to sit in the back with ‘the two morons’ as he called Emil and Michele now. To which the other two retorted by calling him a brat. It made Yuuri very happy they already had nicknames for each other. In the end and for reasons unknown, it was Viktor who sat in the passenger seat and the one in charge of the radio. Also, now that Viktor knew that they were not really going to spy on Sara, he helped Yuuri by distracting the others when they were close to questioning everything. There was not much he needed to do, however, because both Emil and Michele had busied themselves by teasing Yurio the whole time. It wasn’t until they were getting their rented skates when Emil walked to him and questioned him.

“Sara is not coming here, is she?” He asked while Yuuri was sitting on a bench and tying his skates.

“Nope.” Was all he said to his friend without looking up. Emil let out a loud laugh and patted his shoulder before heading out into the ice.

When he managed to go out into the ice himself, he realized how underdressed he was. Since ice skating had not been part of the initial plan and he had only worn a sweater over his t-shirt. The same was true for his friends who luckily didn’t look the least affected by that fact. He started moving with hopes that in doing so he would warm up a bit. Gliding through the ice felt nice, it had been a while since he last set a foot on the ice.

Senior year had hit everyone pretty hard making them all very busy, but they used to come all the time. Yuuri used to skate back home with Yuuko, it was only for fun but he knew a few things. JJ had played ice hockey when he was younger, so the ice didn’t intimidate him. As for Phichit, he had to learn fast to keep up with them. That didn’t stop JJ and Phichit, who liked to pretend they were professionals and always tried to one-up each other in the jumps they could do. However, they never varied away from easy jumps that had Isabella yelling at them to be careful. As for Yuuri, he played it safe and only ever tried a jump every once in a blue moon.

Emil and Michele were not as cautious, but also could not do more than a simple toe loop. They also didn’t seem to mind all the times they crashed onto the ice, what they did mind, however, was Yurio making fun of them each time. Viktor and himself settled simply for going around the rink, trying to avoid other people skating around them, and also avoid being associated with the three fools on ice.

On their second time around the rink, Yuuri had forgotten about the cold and remembered why he liked to skate on Ice in the first place. He felt like he was almost flying as he glided through the ice and it felt nice to do something that reminded him of the few good things from back home. He remembered running to Ice castle after school to catch Yuuko while she practiced, back when she was still serious about going professional. He and Takeshi would sit for hours watching her practice and cheering her on. In other instances, Yuuko would try and teach him a few things, he was never very good at it, or maybe he just lacked confidence. Regardless of that, those had been some of the few moments in which he felt happy, truly happy. 

“Is there a specific reason why we are here?” Viktor asked beside him. The question brought Yuuri back to the present. He turned over to Viktor who was looking at him with a questioned look. Viktor’s cheeks and the bridge of his nose were bright red and Yuuri probably looked the same.

“Why do I need a reason?” Yuuri asked with a smile and looked ahead instead. In front of them was Yurio yelling at Emil who was trying to help Michele who had fallen again, only he was not really helping him at all and instead was preventing him from actually getting up. Yurio clearly embarrassed by all the attention they were attracting settled for yelling at them, and that only attracted more attention to them. “I mean, where else can you get a view like this?”

Viktor followed his line of sight and laughed when he saw their friends. Yuuri didn’t understand why Yurio didn’t just ignore the other two, but neither Viktor nor himself complained about the free entertainment. Eventually, there came a moment when Yuuri felt the need to step into their fun and drag Yurio out before he ended up actually doing one of the many things he threatened the duo with. He pushed Yurio towards Viktor instead, telling the blond to go bug his brother and he would deal with the troublemakers. Something in the idea of bugging Viktor appealed to him because he moved in his direction without a hitch.

“Where did the angry boy go?” Michele asked while he sat on the floor. He turned around until he saw Yurio next to Viktor on the other side of the rink now. With a disappointed aww he got up with no problem and dusted off some of the ice off his pants. “He’s fun to mess with.” He added with a grin.

“A little too easy, kind of reminds me of Leo and Guang Hong when we first met them,” Emil commented with a similar grin. Yuuri laughed at that the memory of their earlier days. “They were a little less explosive and with less cursing, but all the same,” He added fondly.

“What about Viktor, I see him more as the runaway embarrassed type,” Yuuri said as they started moving towards the crowd of people who were simply circling the rink. “He did stay away from you guys from the start.”

“That is only because he wanted to hang out with you,” Emil said while bumping him on the shoulder. “No, I say our boy Viktor is more of the join the fun type of guy.” Michele hummed in agreement.

“Then why would he stick with me and not join the fun as you said?” Yuuri asked his friend. Emil looked at him for a long second then groaned loudly as he left. He even stopped a few paces away, looked back, and groaned dramatically again. Yuuri looked over at Michele for an answer, but he only stared at Yuuri like he was the idiot.

“Are you seriously asking that?” Michele asked with an amused expression that slowly changed to a confused one. “Hold on, I’m getting a bit confused. Are you not on a date with Viktor right now?”

“What!” Yuuri exclaimed and stopped moving while looking around to see where Yurio and Viktor were. Luckily, they were on the other side of the rink talking. “Why would you think that?” What could have possibly given Michele the idea he was on a date with Viktor?

Michele started to wave his arms and signaling to their location. “If you are not on a date then what the hell are we doing here?” They shared a long stare before Yuuri could speak.

“Sara.” Yuuri pointed out. Michele continued to look at him and slowly his mouth formed an o.

“Oh Yuuri,” Michele said in a sympathetic tone that bordered condescending too much for Yuuri’s liking. “Oh buddy, you didn’t think I actually believe that?”

Yuuri looked at his friend in disbelief. He wanted the ice to break and pull him under. He wanted to run, hide, and never come out again. They continued to skate in silence, well, Yuuri remained silent while Michele laughed beside him.

“If you thought I was on a date with Viktor, then why did you come along?” Yuuri asked.

Michele shrugged beside him. “You asked us to come. I admit I thought it was a little weird at first but, you know, you be like that sometimes.” Yuuri didn’t know whether to feel insulted or mortified. He decided to feel both ways.

“Gee thanks,” Was all Yuuri could say back.

“I talked to my sister this morning too. Turns out she’s dating Mila, who would have thought.” Michele broke the silence. Yuuri slowly turned to the boy next to him. “She also wanted me to let you know that she knows you overheard them this morning,” He added. Yuuri’s hands turned into fists as he looked at his smiling friends. Beside him, Michele was biting his lip to keep from laughing as he watched Yuuri’s face go through all the stages of grief.

Unfortunately, acceptance was never reached. Instead, Yuuri let out a loud shriek and started to hit his friend on the shoulder.

“You suck, why didn’t you tell me?” Yuuri asked.

“Blondie is fun to mess with, but you, you are by far the most entertaining,” Michele said as he tried to block the hits.

“I hate you so much,” Yuuri continued his assault and then decided that they were gaining too much attention, so he started towards the exit. “I’m taking the bus home,” He told him.

“Oh, come on!” Michele called out after him and hurried over. “Are you not going to say goodbye to your date at least?” He pointed behind him with a smirk.

“I will kill you,” Yuuri threaten, but that only made Michele laugh louder.

Turned out that Michele was not as easily fooled as they all thought, and the only thing he managed to kill with his stone was himself and his pride.

****

There was something beautiful about spring, maybe it was the blooming flowers or the longer days. It could have been the butterflies and the birds in the sky, or the warmth of the sun on his face. Whatever it was, Yuuri loved it. He was laying on the grassy area in the courtyard, he could hear the faint voices of his friends around him talking about classes and assignments, from farther way he could just make out the light sound of chippering birds and the voices of the other students walking around. His fingers combed through the soft brown curls of Makkachin’s fur while the other was tucked under his head. His eyes were close, but he could feel the bright sun on his face as it shined down on him. For the first time in a while, he was content and at peace. 

“It’s turning out really pretty,” He heard Sara say from his right. He heard movement and a couple of woah's and gasps from his friends.

Yuuri opened his eyes and ever so slightly turned to look at Viktor who was sitting not far from him to his right. He had a large drawing pad on his lap and a pencil in his hand. Around him were their friends peeking over his shoulder. Viktor looked over to him with a smile on his face and Yuuri couldn’t help but smile back. In a second his expression changed to a shocked one and he looked down with a frown that had Yuuri’s face falling.

“What’s wrong?” Yuuri asked wondering if he had messed up Viktor’s drawing somehow.

“I should have sketched you smiling instead,” He said with a pout.

That made Yuuri laugh. He closed his eyes again and went back to the pose Viktor had pushed him into when he had stopped him in the middle of the courtyard to ask about his promise to model for him. The day was nice and Yuuri didn’t have anything going on, it was easy to tell Viktor he could fulfill his promise at that moment. It had been Phichit’s idea to do it in the courtyard when he noticed how nervous the idea had made him. He had even called their friends just so Yuuri could feel better, luckily Viktor didn’t seem to mind at all. That had been a few hours ago, and while he was not necessarily complaining about literally lying in the sun like a lazy cat, curiosity was getting the better of him.

“Can I get up yet?” He asked. 

“No, not yet.” He said and Yuuri could hear him go back to pressing his pencil to paper. Yuuri took in Viktor’s face for a second, it was not the first time he’s seen Viktor working on his art, but it was the first time he was looking at him so close. There were a few things that Yuuri had not been aware of before, like the way he frowned while he tried to concentrate, or the way his eyebrow would twitch a bit when he couldn’t get something right.

“It’s looking really good Yuuri, Viktor is so talented,” He heard Sara say. He glanced away from Viktor’s face towards his friend who was leaning over Viktor.

“You should have seen the drawing Yuuri did of Viktor, it’s really good too,” Phichit interjected. “He made Viktor actually look hot,” He added in a teasing tone.

Yuuri tried not to move but he did laugh at little. Chatter started up again, mostly Chris arguing with Phichit about Viktor’s hotness compared to Yuuri’s. Yuuri wanted to die. He looked over at Viktor who was already looking at him and rolled his eyes at their friends. Viktor smiled and stared at him, taking in every aspect of him. It had made him nervous when they had first started, now he had grown used to Viktor’s gaze on him.

“When Viktor is done you guys should show them both to us, we’ll be the judge,” JJ said. Everyone agreed with him, and Sara came up with the idea to also do a sketch of Mila. Their relationship was still not official, but they were not trying to hide it anymore. Yuuri still refused to talk to Michele however and Michele thought it was the most hilarious thing in the world. He was smart enough to not tell anyone why Yuuri was mad at him, so it ended up being their secret. Everyone was mad they were not invited, mostly Phichit, really it was only Phichit and everyone acted like they were mad just to back up their friend. 

The sun caused him to close his eyes turned them to the side. When he opened them again, he was facing the Main office building, and standing by the steps was Viktor’s dad with his secretary looking in their direction. He raised a hand and waved at him.

“Hey Viktor, it’s your dad,” Yuuri said looking back at Viktor who only looked at him. They shared a brief moment looking at each other before he looked up and waved at his father. Yakov sent them a nod and returned to paying attention to whatever his secretary was saying to him.

“I think my dad likes you more than me,” Viktor said. Surprisingly, Viktor’s tone did not hold any hostility. It was just a statement that Yuuri didn’t necessarily think was true. After all, he was just a stranger who went over to tutor his son. Viktor was his son, and it was more than clear to Yuuri that Yakov loved both his sons very much.

Yuuri chuckled. “Maybe it’s because I actually go visit him and stay for dinner,” Yuuri replied teasingly. There was a brief pause, even his friends had stopped talking. Yuuri hopped Viktor didn’t take it as an insult. He genuinely wanted Viktor to have a better relationship with both his father and Yurio.

“You’re saying I’m a bad son?” Viktor asked. It was not an accusation but a question with a hint of teasing, which allowed Yuuri to relax a bit, at least enough to answer him.

“No,” Yuuri told him, “I just think that independence should not come at the expense of your relationship with your dad and brother. Why do you think Yuri is always so mad at you?”

“Because he doesn’t like me?” Viktor joked and send him a grin.

Yuuri narrowed his eyes at him, he wondered if Viktor truly didn’t realize that he was doing by neglecting his family. Maybe not because Yuuri might not know Viktor very much, but he was sure Viktor was not intentionally cruel. Unintentionally, well that was a different deal and Yuuri had more than one experience with that.

“Because he misses you, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it,” Yuuri told him and sat up to look at him. “Imagine how he feels for a second. The last blood-related family he has lived all the way in Russia, he is forced to move multiple times to places that don’t even speak his native language or hold its same customs, he is completely alone, unable to form a relationship with anyone besides his adoptive brother. And then you, the only form of companionship he has, starts to push him away.”

“Yuri’s never really seen me as a brother, I honestly don’t think likes me,” Viktor admitted sadly.

Yuuri couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “Viktor, if Yuri didn’t care for you, he would not be giving you so much shit for everything. People have different ways of expressing their love, and I can’t say either of your guy’s methods is necessarily healthy.” Viktor looked at him with a frown and a pout that Yuuri found honestly endearing.

He didn’t say another word and Yuuri didn’t press him. It was better if he had a little reflection time. Perhaps Yurio was due a similar talk as well. Their personalities were not so different, they just fell under the exact opposite sides of extreme feelings. He wondered how Yakov dealt with them when they were both actual teenagers and not two adults still acting like teenagers. Yuuri shivered a bit at the thought. That man deserved a medal, and maybe a drink…or five. Silence didn’t last very long, however, and their friends who had fallen silent while they spoke started to talk again about anything just to fill the quietness.

The sun lowered when they started to get up and pick up their things from the grassy area, they had pronounced theirs for a few hours. Sara and Mila had left first, not really saying where they were going. Emil and Michele had left soon after and Yuuri wondered what mess those two were going to cause again. Luckily JJ and Isabella saw them acting weirder than usual and left after them saying that they didn’t trust those two alone.

That left only Phichit, Seung Gil, Chris, Viktor, and himself. Georgi had not been present since he had a date with his hot supermodel girlfriend, Anya, while Leo and Guang Hong never answered to their message about hanging out in the sun. Otabek had left a while ago without really telling them where he was going. However, Otabek had texted him an hour ago telling him that Yurio wanted to see the drawing when it was done. Yuuri had smiled at the fact those two were hanging out more too. 

“Hey Yuuri, do you think that we could talk for a sec?” Chris asked in a low voice and glanced around to see if Viktor had heard him. Viktor had finished the drawing and was now just shading in, meant he was allowed to get up and stretch.

“Is this about…what happened?” Yuuri asked while wincing at the memory of his last conversation with Chris. 

“No, it’s about Viktor,” He whispered and signaled for him to follow. Yuuri moved with him a few paces away from his friends who were busy cleaning up and putting their things away.

“What is it?” Yuuri asked intrigued.

“Well, I guess that it’s now safe to say that you and Viktor are on the way to being friends, right?” Chris asked, his tone showing hope.

“I think so, yeah,” Yuuri replied with a frown.

“Okay, that’s great. There are a few things, however, that I need to warn you about, especially since I’ve learned a few things about you too,” Chris continued. Yuuri mentally braced himself for Chris to say mean things to him again and Chris noticed.

“It’s not anything to do with you, look, Viktor is a great friend, but he can be a little…” Chris tailed off and seemed to be thinking about the correct word to use. “He’s clingy as fuck okay. When he gets comfortable, he will hug you and touch you. And I just don’t want you to freak out, you can just tell him to stop if you don’t like it, but it honestly goes in one ear and out the other. I know he doesn’t mean any harm or to intentionally make you feel uncomfortable, but it’s how he shows affection. He’s kind of an idiot, in the best way possible.” Yuuri looked at Chris with wide eyes and then at Viktor who was picking up the mess of pencils he had around him. So, it was true, clingy Viktor really did exist.

“And you think he’ll be clingy with me?” Yuuri asked.

“Oh, trust me, he will. He isn’t already,” Chris said with an eye roll that meant more than what he was saying.

“Okay…thanks for the heads up,” Yuuri said, not really knowing what else to say to that.

“Just doing my duty as an experienced best friend,” Chris told him with a smile. They laughed together. Viktor looked up at their laughter and tilted his head to the side as if asking what they were laughing at. They both shook their heads and went over to help him clean up instead. Phichit and Seung Gil were useless at the moment since all they were really doing was looking at each other. Yuuri rolled his eyes at them and busied himself with throwing away bags of chips and helping Viktor collect his things.

“Can I see?” Yuuri finally asked after gathering enough courage. He saw Viktor picked up his sketchpad.

He felt himself get nervous, which he didn’t know why. It was not his sketch he was going to look at, but the fact it was a sketch of himself was what made his palms sweaty. He was moments from seeing how Viktor saw him and part of him was scared. Hesitantly, Viktor opened his sketch pad and then turned it over so Yuuri could see it, Yuuri could see that Viktor was just as nervous as him. Viktor bit his lip and stared at him, Yuuri slowly lowered his gaze to the image on the white paper. And he let out a gasp at what he saw. Sara had been right, Viktor was good. Yuuri already knew Viktor was crazy talented, he’s seen it. But the image in front of him shocked him even more, maybe because it was him.

“Who needs photoshop when you can just make me look that pretty,” Yuuri said with a smile. He was in a simple pose, just him laying down with Makkachin looking off into the distance. The school buildings in the background, along with a few trees acted as a frame to him and Makkachin.

“You are pretty, I just drew what I saw,” Viktor told him. “What I always see.” Yuuri’s breath hitched. No one had ever called him pretty like that, and it almost felt like Viktor was mocking him. But he couldn’t be, because why would he do that now. It all went back to how he was not use to people saying nice things about him. But the smile on Viktor’s face was not one of mockery and Yuuri knew he needed to stop assuming the worst.

“Are you just throwing my words back to me?” Yuuri asked teasingly. He thought back at his own sketch of Viktor. In comparison, Viktor’s was so much better, but to Yuuri’s defense, Viktor had gone over the two-hour mark. Not that it mattered, because Viktor was much more talented and it wouldn’t have mattered if Yuuri had days to draw him, it would have never matched up to his.

“Just saying it like it is, I promised to paint you as I see you and I did,” Viktor told him. Yuuri wanted to respond to that but as Viktor finished talking his phone rang. Yuuri looked down at his phone to see Minako’s number. It was an odd occurrence, Minako rarely called now. They texted occasionally, it was easier to do with their schedules.

“Sorry, I got to take this,” He said to Viktor. Viktor shook his head with a smile and waved at him to take the call. Yuuri walked off a few feet away and answered his phone on the last ring.

“Yuuri, how are you?” Minako asked as soon as Yuuri answered.

“I’m good,” Yuuri replied already knowing that she would not call just to ask how he was. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes, yes of course,” She said not very convincingly. There was a pause before she sighed loudly. “Actually, something happened. I was having dinner with your parents and I might have said more than I should have,”

Yuuri did not like the sound of that, but he remained quiet. So many things were running through his head, all the things Minako could have said and how his family might have taken it. None of it was good.

“Nothing…nothing specific, Yuuri. I just hinted that you might not have been very happy when you lived here and that people may have not treated you very kindly. I’m sorry Yuuri, I had a little too much to drink and it just slipped.”

“What did my parents say?” Yuuri asked while ignoring that last part.

“Yuuri, to be honest, I think they know. Not everything but, they know enough to have a slight picture of what is going on. You need to talk to them, I’m no one to tell you this, but I believe that it would do you and your family good to have the truth out.”

Yuuri hung up and shoved the phone in his pocket. He felt pain in his chest as if something was pressing down on it, making it hard to breathe. He scanned the area quickly and saw that his friends had not moved. Chris was still talking to Viktor while they looked at his drawing pad and Phichit was still preoccupied with looking at Seung Gil. He decided to simply leave before any of them saw him and started asking questions. As he walked back to his dorm he started to realized that he preferred living the past in nightmares than in reality, because at least with nightmares he could wake up, and only he would know about them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back, back again  
> Shady's back, tell a friend 🎶
> 
> Hey....so it's been a while. I didn't forget about this story I promise, but life's been....kind of happening, and writing took a backseat for a while. I will admit that I didn't realize the last time I posted was all the way in august and that most of this chapter was done already. Anyways to all those who have been waiting, so sorry! 😅
> 
> As for the next chapter, I'll try not to take three months to write it. But I do have to go back and reread the whole thing because the outline for the next few chapters doesn't really make much sense to me right now. So I'll do that and try not to die of second-hand embarrassment while I do that.
> 
> Again thank you for reading and sorry for the wait 😁


	17. Head in The Clouds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you read, I feel like I should put a *trigger warning* on this chapter just in case.   
> While I really don't want to spoil anything for you guys I think it's important to point it out.   
> This chapter will talk about a suicide attempt, it is all in the past and is hinted at and only briefly discussed.   
> I will also be updating the tags, so read with caution, my wonderful readers.

If someone asked him, Yuuri would say he didn’t know what they were talking about.

Nothing and no one could ever make him admit to something like that. Not just because it made him feel weak, but because it would break his mother’s heart, and that was the last thing he ever wanted to do. He was used to lying, he’s done it since he was young, all so his mother could live in blissful ignorance. Back then his lies used to be so no one would know about the names he was being called in school. Then they morphed to cover up for bruises on his skin, then it became a constant necessity in his life. He couldn’t go one sentence without saying at least one lie. One lie so his parents wouldn’t know how pathetic he was, one lie so they wouldn’t be sad, one lie so he could pretend his life was not falling apart.

His life was not his, back then he didn’t have one. Not when he was struggling to get through school, because back then, every day was a fight for his life. Art was a form of expression for him, in a time where he was constantly being oppressed. He used it as a way to liberate himself from the tragedy that was his life. And in a way it did free him, had it not been for his art he would have never left that small town by the sea. Had it not been for his art he would have never survived.

He almost didn’t…but if anyone ever asked him about that, he would laugh and say he didn’t know what they were talking about, he just liked the view.

Minako got him out, she opened the path for him to escape his torment and he took it. He ran away and didn’t look back scared that if he did, he would see that same broken kid he left in Hasetsu. Not looking back had been the plan, and the plan had worked. For years he never once thought of that chubby kid who used to hide on the school’s rooftop just so he could catch his breath. In the last four years, not once was he reminded of the boy that didn’t have anyone. Because the Yuuri in Detroit had everything he had once only wished or dreamed of having.

If anyone asked, he would just say he liked high places.

Because up there no one could see him, and if they did, they could not reach him. He used to wish he’d been born with wings to fly far away. His dreams were spent in the sky far up where no one could ever reach him. In the end, he did fly away, he flew far, so far that no one who once knew him could ever hurt him again. And it felt like he had been blessed by an angel, and maybe that was what Minako had been to him. An angel who came and swept him up just as he was about to fall.

But if anyone asked, he just liked the view from the roof.

His view was different now, only because now he had no reason to fly away. He had no fear of falling. He still liked high places, because usually the higher up the quieter and more secluded it was. He sought out the highest he could have access to when he arrived in Detroit.

There, on the roof of his art building, Yuuri had set up his materials, opened his paints, and held a brush in his hand. But something shook his hand, made his body quiver and his mind stir. It was fear, and fear followed no matter how high he went, no matter how low he got, and no matter how far he flew. And fear was what kept him from letting what was within out, fear had not been present that day in the art room when he painted something so different from anything he had done before. Fear had vanished and replaced by a need to be free. And as he stood high up, he understood what his lack of fear had created.

His picture had not been Viktor, nor an angel or an evil spirit. It had been something simpler, it had been him. Falling and flying away, both things that happened to him, he had blocked that part from his head in fear. Everything was filled with fear, and that was something not even Minako could help him escape from. His lies, his half-truths, his secrets all fueled his fears. Maybe it was honesty that would set him free, maybe, but the thought of being honest about something he’s buried deep within him caused him more fear. It made him laugh too, the irony in the never-ending circle of his dilemma. He feared his fear, but the only way to get away from it was to face that fear.

With a loud sigh he dropped the wooden brush to the floor, he followed soon after as he curled up into a tight ball and cried like he had done back on that rooftop in Hasetsu when the idea of falling had become a much more interesting thought than flying. He knew what he needed to do, he needed to tell the secret, the one only he and Minako knew. He needed to let go once and for all, so maybe then he could start and paint what his heart wanted to show to the world.

It was late when he finally returned to his room, his eyes felt sore and he still held tightly to the white pharmacy bag in his hands. He could hear the faint sound of voices coming from Phichit’s computer when he opened the door. Key jiggling as he retrieved them from the door handle.

“Hey, you’re back late. Did you go to Yurio’s place again?” Phichit asked not looking up from his computer on his desk. He wanted to smile at the fact all his friends were now calling Yurio by the nickname he had given him, but he couldn’t. Not when his heartfelt heavy in his chest and making any expression would only make the tears roll out again.

Yuuri looked at his friend, the sheer thought made something tighten in his stomach. He had Phichit now, back then he only had Yuuko and Takeshi, but they were older and gone when he needed them the most. But Phichit was there, he always was there for him. It felt nice to know that. When he first arrived the idea of someone wanting to hang out with him had perplexed him. Phichit had been so different from everyone he had ever met, he took Yuuri’s hand, gave him a smile, and said they would be best friends. And they were, he was the first person he confided in other than Dr. Bin. And he had listened closely and held his hand. They had not been too close before, but from that moment on something changed. Yuuri feared he would leave or worst, make fun of him. But it didn’t happen, instead, he was introduced to JJ and then the rest of his friends.

They all came gradually, one by one, one minute they were strangers, and the next they were sharing every meal together. Some came and went, graduation taking their senior friends, but a new year bought new friends. But the one person that always stayed was Phichit because at the end of the day it was just him and Phichit. It was Phichit who pushed him to get out of his room and go places, it was Phichit who made his bad days better with a joke and piles of junk food. It was Phichit who never left him, even when Yuuri shut everyone out. It was Phichit and his friends that kept him grounded. 

“Yuuri?” Phichit looked up when Yuuri didn’t reply. His curious expression widen into concern. He sat up, moving his computer off his lap and standing. “Yuuri what happened?”

Yuuri found his way into his best friend’s arms and cried, just as he had in Dr. Bin’s office an hour ago. He let it all out, the bottled-up feelings of powerless fear. The weight of secrets kept and lies told. He was letting it go, he was releasing them from his body and freeing himself. And he hoped, he begged that Phichit would be there because he couldn’t do it alone. He didn’t want to be alone again, he didn’t want to look at the world from high up, and he sure as hell didn’t want to think about falling again. He wanted to be on the ground with everyone else, he wanted someone to be there with him.

“Shhh, it’s okay.” Phichit cooed and rubbed his back as he hugged him tighter. “I’m here Yuuri, I’m always here.” He added like he knew exactly what Yuuri needed.

“I never told anyone,” Yuuri started. “I wanted to fall, I wanted to hit the ground because I thought that would make the pain go away.”

Phichit froze for a moment as he took in Yuuri’s words, then tighten his grip and started to shake when he realized the meaning to them. Yuuri could feel wetness on his shoulder where Phichit had buried his face. Yuuri didn’t know who was crying louder, maybe they both were and maybe it didn’t matter.

“And now, do you still want to fall?” He asked in a quiet voice after a long pause of them just crying. Yuuri shook his head and let out a sob.

“No…I don’t. I want to be here, with you, with our friends,” Yuuri said for the first time saying a truth.

“Then here you’ll stay, with me, with all of us,” Phichit pulled away just an inch so he was looking at Yuuri. “But you have to promise me that if you ever feel that way again, you’ll tell me, okay. Because I will always catch you, no matter how high you are falling from. I will be there, okay. You are not alone anymore.”

Yuuri nodded and looked at his friend through his tears. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Yuuri.” Phichit chuckled through his tears and hugged him again. “And you are stuck with me for the rest of our life because you are my best friend and like a brother to me.” He added.

Yuuri laughed and nodded. He liked that idea, he liked knowing that he had a new family in his new home, in his new life. The sun was shining on him again, just like they did the day he got on a plane and left his past behind. Just like the day he arrived on campus, and just like the day he met Phichit. He smiled because that had been the start of his new life and this was the start of the rest of his life. 

“You should smile more Yuuri, you’re an ugly crier,” Phichit said as he sniffed.

Yuuri chuckled. “Fuck you Phichit.” They laughed together and walked to Phichit’s bed where they sat side by side to watch the movie he had been watching.

“Thank you, for telling me Yuuri,” Phichit said after a while. “I know it’s not easy for you, I can see that there is still so much you are going through. I know Viktor didn’t make any of that easy, and that is part of why I hated him too. You told me a part of your story, but I always wonder if there was more to it. I knew that you would tell me when you felt it was right, and I was willing to wait for as long as it took, and understand if that day never came. I can’t change the past, Yuuri, I can’t make the past disappear either. But I wanted to make this present a better one for you at the very least.”

Yuuri leaned his head on his friend’s shoulder. “Thank you, I don’t know where I would be right now without you,” He admitted. He always had the fear of waking up one day to realize all this had just been a dream. He feared the day Phichit and all his other friends stopped being his friend and abandoned him. It was a nightmare he had on the bad days. A nightmare he truly wished would never come true.

“There is no point in thinking about what if’s, we’re here together, and that is all that matters. We have with us the best group of friends in the world and I could have not asked for a better best friend.” Phichit told him and Yuuri couldn’t agree more. “I will not pretend to know what you went through Yuuri; I will also not say that I know what to do. That is why I need you to tell me how I can help you. You need to be open with all of us because we all care for you. We really do and I hope you can see that.”

“If I go back, I’ll have to tell them. I don’t want to,” Yuuri said in a whisper. “I don’t want to hurt my mom like that.”

“Yuuri, if I’m being honest, I think you staying away is hurting them more. It will hurt but only for a moment, and then they will realize that you are better now. That time and distance did help and that you are…happy…right?”

“I am, I really am.” Phichit smiled at him.

Yuuri was lucky, he knew that, and he was excited to show the world what his heart wanted to tell the world. He was not ready yet, that was not something someone could just be ready for. But Celestino told him he had time, and he was going to use every second of it. He would paint what he desired, and then he would decide if the world was ready to see it and it’s meaning. Because he had no doubt it would be perfect and beautiful and meaningful. He wanted to break free from the past and go back home being someone different from the boy who left.

He missed his family; he would never deny that. He missed his mom, dad and his sister. He missed his friends and teacher, and even if there were few good memories of it, he missed his little town by the sea too. He hoped that they missed him too, that his absence didn’t make them forget him. Because that would hurt more than all the bruises or insults he ever received.

When he woke up the next day Phichit was getting ready to go to class. He looked back from where he was looking at himself in the mirror and send him a frown.

“Did I wake you?” He asked softly.

Yuuri shook his head and laid back in his bed. it was early, too early for him to get up. His class would start at ten, but he couldn’t find enough strength in his body to get up, much less go to class. Crying always took so much from him, and he had a headache. As if reading his mind, Phichit walked over to his bed and placed a water bottle with two pills.

“Stay in bed, I’m sure Professor Baranovskaya will understand if you tell her you’re taking a mental health day,” Phichit reached out and combed back the hair from Yuuri’s forehead and send him a smile. “I can bring you back food when I get out of class, what do you want?”

“Nothing too greasy,” Yuuri told him. Phichit was right, maybe taking a day off would help. It’s been a while since he’d have to use a mental health day.

With one last look back, Phichit left for his classes for the day. Yuuri got up to get his laptop and started to write an email to his professor. He didn’t worry about missing anything important, although the end was approaching, and he needed to set up a date with his group to work on their final project and presentation. But all that could be done through text.

He laid in bed until he couldn’t anymore. He watched a movie, but it became repetitive after the second one. His stomach growled, so he made himself some coffee and ate half a granola bar. It was almost eleven when his phone vibrated with new messages. He ignored them and decided to take a shower to try and relax instead. His day was becoming nothing short of boring and he wondered if he should have just gone to class.

That was why he found himself on the roof of the art building once more, art materials open and ready for his use. Yet it still didn’t come to him, each line, each stroke of the brush felt wrong. It was always either too dark or too light, the angle was wrong or there was not enough depth. His hands had dry paint and his canvas was a mess. There was a picture, but it obscured by all the other things in it that had no meaning and no business being in his painting. 

“Phichit said you could be here,” He heard a voice coming from the door on his right. Yuuri jumped a little and turned over to see Viktor standing as he held open the door. “Can I…” He gestured to the area where Yuuri had set up his things.

“Come in,” Yuuri told him while put his brush down and wiping his hands on his pants.

“What are you working on?” He asked but didn’t move toward him and his painting. He stayed where he was, back pressed against the door that was now closed.

“The exhibition piece,’ Yuuri admitted and slumped down against the cement barrier behind him. Viktor copied him from the opposite side and looked at him with a reading expression. Yuuri wondered what he saw, did Viktor also think that Yuuri was a mess? Yuuri felt like a mess.

“This is really eating you up isn’t it?” Viktor asked. His eyebrows pulled together in a concerned expression. “Do you really need to impress those critics that are coming?”

Yuuri wished that was the reason, he wished all this was as simple as impressing other people. He was used to that, to painting what people wanted, what they expected from him. He could do that because he already knew what he needed to convey. This was not that, this was him trying to create something from memory, a painful memory that hunted him and that he, for some reason wanted to show the world.

“No, that is the last thing on my mind,” Yuuri found himself admitting. He hugged his knees close to his chest and put his chin in between them. “This is my last piece here; I want it to…I…” He trailed off realizing he truly didn’t know what he wanted and maybe that was the problem.

“This isn’t the end Yuuri, It only the beginning. This is the start to everything you have been working so hard on. Graduation does not mean something is ending, it means something is finally starting. What are you so afraid of?” Viktor asked. Yuuri didn’t say anything, instead, he looked up at the painting he had done. he knew that answer, it was simple.

“Yuuri, Phichit was freaking out for some reason when he didn’t find you in your room and you wouldn’t answer your phone. He sent everyone looking for you, it was like he thought something had bad happened to you,” Viktor told him.

Yuuri closed his eyes and bit his lip to keep his tears at bay. That was his fear, that in telling the truth he would hurt those he cared about. He feared having to tell his parents, he feared having them look at him with tears in his eyes like Phichit had last night. Or having them worry unnecessarily when he didn’t answer his phone or was not where he told them he would be. 

“Coming here was like a dream come true, and now that I’m leaving it feels like I’m going to wake up and have to go back to my life before I came here,” Yuuri admitted. A life where Phichit didn’t exist, where he didn’t have friends who cared about him.

Viktor moved from where he had sat down to sit next to him and pulled him into a hug. Yuuri didn’t realize he was shaking until he was surrounded by Viktor’s warm arms. He buried his face into Viktor’s chest and cried a little more. He cried all the tears he’s been repressing for the last four years, tears that should have been cried so long ago and dealt with, instead of bottling them.

“Nothing will be the same Yuuri, four years is a long time. Things changed; you’ve changed. I don’t know why…you don’t have to tell me either. But whatever you are afraid of, that has changed too.” Viktor told him as he started to run his shoulders, “You are older and so much wiser than four years ago, and you might find that some things no longer matter. That by holding them in, you are only making them much bigger than they are now. And if they still are just as big and difficult, there is still the fact that you are not alone.” Yuuri couldn’t help but let out a light ironic chuckle.

“You and Phichit are right, but I still find myself making it into a big deal for some reason. Like…for some reason, I try very hard to hold on to it even when I have every intention of just letting it go,” Yuuri found himself admitting. “It’s as if by letting go I’m also letting go of a piece of me, of my memories. All I have of my home are those memories, and I’m scared of losing them even if they are painful because they are all I have.”

Viktor pushed him off him and held him at arm’s length, so they were staring at each other, he had a smile on his face. “If that is the case, your problem is easily fixed,” He started and stood up bringing him up as well. “All you have to do is make new memories, go back and create a new version of your home, of your family, with the new you in it. Say goodbye to the version of the past and create a new one. One that fits with who you are now, with the people you have in your life now.”

Yuuri stared at him not knowing what to say, it sounded so easy and maybe it was just that easy. Maybe he was making a tornado in a glass of water, he was hurting himself because that was what he was so used to. He let out a sob and covered his face in his hands.

“Or not, Yuuri I’m sorry I didn’t mean to….I’m not good at this!” Viktor started panicking but Yuuri grabbed his face and held it. They looked at each other closely, their eyes flickering from their eyes down to their lips but neither moved forward.

“Your right,” Yuuri whispered and smiled at him. “The answer is so simple, why didn’t I think of it, why am I so stupid,” He added and dropped his hands. Viktor picked them back up and gave them both a gentle squeeze.

“Sometimes even the simplest solutions escape us, but that doesn’t make you stupid, you’re smart. You are so smart and talented and so much more and I don’t want to see you crying anymore.” Viktor hugged him this time, leaning his head on Yuuri’s shoulder. “Tell me what I can do to make you happy again, I’ll do anything,” He added.

“Just stay close to me,” Yuuri found himself mumbling and allowed himself to fall deeper into Viktor’s embrace.

“I can do that,” Viktor whispered into his ear. Viktor’s arms tighten around and Yuuri felt like all those loose pieces that he’s been holding on to were falling back into place and forming a perfect picture. He pulled away from Viktor and looked at him. Viktor had a worried expression that changed when he saw his face.

“I got it, I know what I want to paint,” Yuuri said and then looked at the canvas in front of him. “I need a blank canvas,” he added.

“Then let’s go get it,” Viktor said with a smile and reached out to grab his hand. “You should text Phichit on the way too. He was freaking out a bit,” He added.

Yuuri took Viktor’s hand and pulled himself up. He now filled with newly found determination and an idea in his head. Still holding Viktor’s hand, he pulled them in the direction of the supply shop to get more materials and Viktor came along without a word.

***

Yuuri rearranged his glasses for the hundredth time in the last hour, it was a nervous habit that didn’t go away. Another thing that didn’t go away was the anxiety that came from having to call Minako first. She had left him a series of messages all ranging from worried to annoyed at his lack of response. He knew he needed to talk to her but if he had to be honest, it was the last thing on his mind. But the time for avoidance was over according to Minako who had sent her last warning. It came in the form of pictures showing her laptop open to a flight schedule and a large circle highlighting a flight from Japan to Detroit. Yuuri knew Minako well enough to know she would very much get on a plane, fly for hours just to give him a lecture on answering the damn phone.

He pressed the call button quickly or he would just talk himself out of it again. With a deep breath he put the phone to his ear and listened to it ring, it was late for her and therefore he knew she should at least be home, not that it didn’t mean she was not still busy working on something. She answered on the second ring the only way Minako Okukawa knew how to, by lecturing him.

“Yuuri, I see you do know how a phone works after all. And if that was not the reason you have not called me back, then what was?” She asked with a half annoyed, half tired tone. A tone that was pretty normal for her after a long day of work, and when Yuuri did something that made her worry.

“Sorry,” Yuuri said, hoping I would lessen her anger and worry. Not that it had ever worked, but it was always worth a shot. Yuuri knew that overreactions were because she cared about him. 

He and his sister grew up knowing Minako as the loud but disciplinary aunt that showed up every once in a blue moon with presents. They didn’t know exactly how they were related to her, if at all, but it was always a big event when she came over, so they learned not to question it. It had been her that pushed him into continuing his exploration of the arts when he first showed interest. She was full of honest criticism but never to the point of being mean, she had patience despite her lively and fast pace attitude. Yuuri always knew that if he needed an honest opinion about anything, he could always trust Minako to give it to him. Above all, she had been his biggest confidant when his world had been falling apart around him.

His former teacher was energetic and outgoing, Phichit reminded him of her quiet often. They could have a conversation with anyone and were always the center of attention, they also didn’t mind that attention in the slightest. Minako had no problem speaking her opinions out loud or taking criticism. Yuuri was different from them in that manner, when he was younger Minako would always try to get him to show himself. Many times she had him working on his communication and interpersonal skills. They were all fruitless in the end when his anxiety overwhelmed him before he could even get started, but she never gave up on him.

“I’m sorry too Yuuri. I know that it’s a topic you don’t want to talk about, I just think that your parents deserve to have an explanation for you going away for so long. I spoke to Mari too, she told me you are thinking of staying in Detroit after graduation. Is that true?”

He knew it, Yuuri knew that she would want to talk about that. He also knew she was the only one willing to ask head-on, while his parents always circled around the topic as if by doing so it would make it not true. His sister would try but change the subject halfway, he didn’t know why they didn’t want to talk about it but part of him was glad. He liked not having to explain himself, it made things easier. He should have realized that talk would be coming up because Minako never made things easy for him.

“I am,” Yuuri replied without hesitation. “I’m looking for an apartment with Phichit, and I recently applied to a place Celestino suggested.”

Yuuri expected his teacher to start asking questions about the place he applied to, and his entire plan. Instead, she stayed quiet, so long that Yuuri thought she had hung up or that the call had gotten cut off.

“You can’t keep running away Yuuri, not like this. This was not so you could hide away and forget about your family.” Minako sighed. “It was to give you an opportunity to see that things were not all black and white, to give you a wider view of things.’

“I know, and I’m not running away. I don’t want to run or hide anymore; I want the exact opposite. I found something here, something I want to hold on to.” Yuuri said, hoping that Minako could understand what he felt by the tone of his voice.

“Something or someone?” Minako asked.

Yuuri smiled when he realized what she was insinuating because she was not wrong after all. There was a reason he wanted to stay, and that reason was someone….more than one really. He was staying for the same reason Phichit was staying, the same reason JJ and Isabella were forming their life around Detroit. For the same reason they were all making plans for a future where they were all still together. Because they didn’t want to lose each other and everything they had together.

“There are a lot of things I don’t want to lose, things I’ve built and gained that means so much to me. Those things will never replace what my family means to me, don’t get me wrong. I do miss all of you, and I’ll go home as often as I can.” Yuuri told her.

He cared for his family and nothing could replace what his family was to him after all blood is thicker than water, but he still needed water to survive and he didn’t want to live without one or the other. Yuuri could tell that Minako didn’t understand what he meant, and he didn’t expect her to understand everything that went on in his head. It didn’t all make sense even to him sometimes, but he knew that he was happy when he was surrounded by people he cared about. It was late for Minako, so they only spoke for a little while longer. Mostly back and forth questions and answers so she could ascertain that he was okay and she didn’t need to make the trip sooner than planned.

“Mari and I will be there two days before your graduation. That will give us enough time to take a little tour around the city that has been keeping you from us,” Minako said in a lighter tone.

“Thank you for bringing Mari with you, last time I spoke with her she sounded very excited.” Mari rarely left home, over time she’s taken more control over the onsen and the responsibilities made it hard for her to take any kind of vacation of her own.

“She’s excited to see her little brother again, and it’s always better to fly with company than all alone.”

Everything was better with company than alone, he wanted to say but he didn’t want to push the conversation into another direction. Instead, he told her he couldn’t wait to see them and after saying their goodbyes they hung up. He sat on the bench for a little longer, it was still very early, and his class wouldn’t start until later. But he also didn’t have the energy to do much of anything until then.

He was glad that was over, he didn’t like it when people worried about him and then pulled more people into it. Phichit had also stirred up a small storm when he couldn’t find him last time, it had made everyone worry. He was better now, and he felt like a big weight had been lifted from his shoulders. It was not something he wanted to talk about openly quite yet, but it helped that there were people who knew, and he could lean on if he needed to.

***

“There is absolutely no reason why you guys need to spend that much on renting a venue, why don’t you just ask if we can hold the concert here?” Isabella was quick to shot down another of JJ’s many crazy ideas.

“Because this club is the hottest place in town and I want to go out with a bang,” JJ told her and then looked around the table. “What do you guys think?”

There were a few mumbles and not a lot of eye contact. Yuuri didn’t even look up from his sketch pad in front of him. He was smart enough to know that you should never go against Isabella and everyone seemed to be feeling the same way.

“Babe it’s crazy, plus, just think how inconvenient it’s going to be to go all the way across town for one concert. Most already live on campus and the surrounding areas, just have it here.” And with that, they all knew the case was close and only an idiot would argue.

“Fine,” JJ mumbled and crossed his arms across his chest. “But we’re getting a fog machine.” He added is only to have the final say.

“And fireworks?” Leo suggested. JJ’s face lid up again and he nodded enthusiastically.

“No,” Isabella interjected. Leo leaned back in his chest and mimicked JJ’s last pose with a pout. From the corner of his eye, Yuuri saw Viktor wink at JJ who now had a big smile on his face. “Viktor, no,” Isabella said when she caught the exchange.

“All I’m going to do is casually bring it up during diner with my dad, he decides,” Viktor said while giving her his most innocent expression and a small shrug.

“Come on babe, the king is graduating. There needs to be fireworks,” JJ told his girlfriend while putting an arm around her.

“What there needs to be is more studying or the king will have to retake the semester,” She pushed him off and patted the printed article in front of him. 

Conversations around them varied, while JJ was planning his big going-away concert with Leo, on the other side of the table Mila and Sara were talking about their plans for the summer. Everyone knew that they were dating now, and everyone was more surprised at how well Michele took it rather than them dating. It didn’t mean that Michele was still not a meddling brother, but Emil kept him in check for the most part. On Yuuri’s right, Viktor and Chris were having their own conversation that varied from a movie they watched last night to the end of the year assignments Chris was having trouble with. On his left, Phichit was working on a paper for one of his classes, and judging by the hurried speed he was typing at Yuuri had the hunch that it was due soon. His typing had been annoying at first, but Yuuri had gotten used to it. It all became white noise in the background as he planned out the idea that was forming in his head. 

He wanted to put it on paper before he forgot it. Even if every moment he spent planning his next step morphed into something else. It was an ever-changing phenomenon that had been unleashed the minute he decided to make peace with everything that was holding him down. In front of him on the table was the very rough idea he had shown Celestino earlier that day. His teacher had been more excited at Yuuri’s newly found inspiration than the actual rough sketch he shoved in his face. But professor Cialdini had approved his idea nonetheless and that was all that really mattered to him.

“How many times do you need to draw the same cherry bloom tree?” Phichit asked him.

Yuuri looked at his sketch in front of him. His whole page was filled with small drawings of trees. “Only as many times as it’ll take you to finally learn how to spell intelligence without having to autocorrect it,” Yuuri told his friend without looking at him. Viktor and Chris who were the only ones close enough to hear snickered while Phichit flipped him off and went back to typing.

They were all piled in one of the study rooms scattered around multiple levels of the library, it had started as a study session where they could hang out and get work done at the same time. But those two never worked together in the end, they’ve had about four years’ worth of experience, but they could still not figure it out. To Yuuri, it was just an excuse to get together with the pretense that they were going to get work done. Instead, it turned to a planning session where JJ was putting out ideas of how to go out with a bang, while everyone put those ideas down.

“Yuuri, do you know if Otabek is with Yurio again. I can’t get a hold of him and we need his input,” Leo asked from across the table. Leo was waving his phone in front of him displaying the open messenger app.

“I think Yurio is at his dance lesson right now, but I’ll try messaging Otabek. Maybe he’s just ignoring you,” Yuuri told him. Leo gave him a scowl and went back to typing on his phone, probably to ask if he was ignoring him.

Yuuri took out his phone to find two messages from his sister and three from Yurio. He read his sister’s messages first, the first asked if everything was okay and the next mentioned her talking with Minako. With a sigh he texted her back, he reassured her that he was fine and told her not to worry. He wondered what his teacher told her and how much of it had Mari gathered from it. His sister was not someone who voiced her feelings straight on, she was into tough love. She used to show her support with a heavy pat on the back and her sympathy by ruffling his hair. With him being miles and an ocean away it was hard for her to show how she felt. He moved on to Yurio’s message, knowing that if he dwelled too much on his sister he would start tearing up. Yurio’s message was nothing like his sister’s and it was a welcomed change.

**Yurio:** Yakov is gone on a date with Lila.

**Yurio:** We’re having a movie night.

**Yurio:** You can bring the idiot, I guess.

Yuuri was not entirely sure who exactly he meant by that, because looking around the table anyone could fall under that category by Yurio standards. Instead of trying to guess or ending inviting his whole friend group over to the President’s house, he decided to ask instead.

**Yuuri:** Which one?

“Wow,” Viktor huffed beside him.

Yuuri looked over to his right to see Viktor leaning over towards him and realizing he had a clear view of his phone. Yuuri pressed his phone to his chest in surprise. Viktor put up both hands up and leaned back giving him his privacy again. Yuuri gave him a side glare and lowered his phone. Viktor smiled at him as he too lowered his hands.

“I mean, come on,” Yuuri ended up asking while eyeing his friends, who fortunately were too preoccupied to notice them.

In that moment JJ and Leo were still coming up with weird ideas to incorporate into JJ’s big going-away concert, currently, it was arriving on stage via parachute. An idea that Isabella was in the middle of shutting down while Guang Hong was in the middle of a facepalm. Beside them, Emil had Michele in a headlock. Yuuri really didn’t want to know why and looked away quickly instead. Phichit was still typing like his hands had been possessed, that however didn’t stop him from looking over at his phone contently, which caused him to mess up on what he was writing and having to backspace a big chunk and rewrite it. He was probably waiting for a text from Seung Gil who still at work.

“Fair point,” Viktor agreed beside him. Yuuri felt his phone vibrate and he looked down to see Yurio’s message.

**Yurio:** Viktor, how many idiots do you know?

Which was very quickly followed by another text.

**Yurio:** Nvm, Otabek just answered that question.

Yuuri chuckled. That answered Leo’s question too, Otabek was ignoring him. He looked at Viktor who was smiling and shaking his head.

“You want to go?” Yuuri asked. He liked the idea that Yurio thought of inviting his brother, it was a good first step.

“Of course,” Viktor replied instantly. “Tell him we’re on our way,” He added while gathering his things. As he moved, Yuuri saw Chris looking right at them from the other side of Viktor. His head was resting on his palm and he looked at Viktor with a smile on his face. 

“What?” Viktor asked Chris when he caught him looking. Chris shook his head, but the smile didn’t leave his face. He went back to doing whatever he was doing on his computer and Viktor continued to pack up.

Yuuri wondered if Chris was still distrustful of him and his friends, he seemed very protective of Viktor after all. Aside from the brief words they shared last time, they haven’t really talked about what happened. He wanted to clear everything up, but at the same time, he was scared to open that can of worms again, especially with Chris who looked capable of drop kicking him at a moment’s notice.

While he knew what caused the series of misinterpretations that led to them becoming accidental enemies, he didn’t know why Viktor let it happen or why it went on for so long. Why it took him three months to finally say it was enough and start voicing his feelings towards him.

“Yuuri?” Viktor called for him, he was standing up with his backpack over his shoulder.

“Oh, sorry,” He apologized quickly and started gathering his loose papers. The process caught the attention of Phichit who was in the middle of sending a text.

“You guys are leaving?” Phichit asked while looking between Viktor and him. 

“Yeah, Yurio told us to come over,” Yuuri told him as he carefully closed his sketchpad and shoved it into his back. “I’ll be back later tonight.” He added.

Phichit hummed in response but kept looking at him as he put his stuff away. Yuuri send his friends a wave as he and Viktor walked towards the exit. He heard Viktor calling out a goodbye as they left too. They maneuver through the maze of bookshelves and desks until they found the exit. Once outside the sun was slowly going down painting the skies with a soft orange-purple hue that made everything feel softer and warm. It brought back memories of sunsets in his childhood, of times when the days were hard but got easier as he was one step closer to home.

Now he realized that perhaps his days could have been easier had he just spoken up, had he gotten enough courage to say something. But back then he was only a child who thought that every little mistake meant the end of the world. Everything was so much bigger when he was smaller and everything had so much meaning to him when it really didn’t. Back then fighting back was never an option for him, and now that he thought back to how Viktor made him feel he didn’t feel as hurt. Because it was only Viktor defending himself, it was Viktor doing what Yuuri had been so scared to do. But if Viktor was capable of doing that, why did it take so long. His actions came so easy, he called him out without hesitation. So why did he let it go on for those three months, why didn’t he just put a stop to it the minute the first misunderstanding happened.

Yuuri felt a hand on his shoulder and jumped a little. Viktor dropped his hand instantly and looked at him with a concerned look. “Sorry,” Yuuri said quickly.

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scared you,” Viktor started. He shoved both his hands into his pockets. “You’ve been awfully quiet the whole way, is everything okay?”

Yuuri opened his mouth to say of course, but the words died before he could speak them. He hesitated, but his curiosity always won.

“Can I ask you something?” Yuuri asked. Viktor nodded beside him and gave him his full attention. “I’ve been thinking of what you told me in your room that day. You thought that I was saying all those awful things about you, but why did it take you so long to say something. Why didn’t you call me out sooner, why did you let it get to the point it hurt you?”

Viktor looked surprised at the question like he was not expecting the topic to come up again. He fell quiet for a second as he looked down at the ground. Yuuri waited for him to answer, not wanting to push him. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked, was it any of his business really? He was about to tell Viktor to forget about it, but Viktor spoke before he had the chance.

“I’m used to people avoiding me, to people not wanting to be my friend,” He finally replied. It was Yuuri’s turn to be surprised, he frowned at the idea, it sounded absurd after all. “At first when you were just avoiding me, it didn’t feel new. It just felt right, and it felt like I was the one being an idiot for not expecting it. I didn’t have friends before meeting Chris, I never understood why. Yura said it was probably because of Yakov and his position in the schools I went to. When the insults started, I thought you were braver than everyone else, for saying the things everyone must think of me.”

“I never meant any insult…” Yuuri started but Viktor stopped him by grabbing his hand and squeezing it gently. Yuuri stopped moving surprised by the sudden touch.

“I know that now, but back then I just associated you and everything you did with everyone else I ever knew because you made me feel the same way. That’s my fault, I should have talked to you and cleared things up sooner. But I let it go because it felt normal to me, and part of me hoped that you didn’t mean it because I didn’t want you to be like everyone else. I tried to ignore it for as long as I could, I played the what-if game for so long that it only ended up hurting me more. And in the end, it hurt so much I just wanted you to feel the same pain too.” 

Yuuri didn’t know what to say. His answer felt so familiar, and so wrong coming from him. Viktor didn’t let go of his hand as they continued to walk. The sky felt a little darker as they moved through the buildings towards the President’s house.

“How can people not like you Viktor. You’re outgoing and clever, crazy talented and the friendliest person I know aside from Phichit. Everyone wants to be your friend, to be close to you. You are always surrounded by people who like you and admire you.”

Yuuri could go on, he wanted to tell him about the fan base they had built from the moment he arrived. What everyone said about him when he entered the room or left it. Those first few weeks when he first arrived everyone wanted to be his friend, to get to know him. He was nothing short of a celebrity and Yuuri felt like an ant staring up at him. He had watched him from a distance, scared that if he got too close he would be crashed by everyone else who wished to be remotely close to him. He wanted to tell him that and so many other things but Viktor didn’t let him. 

“That’s not true, people never wanted me around,” Viktor said in a cold distant voice. The grip on his hand tightened only slightly before he let go completely. Viktor stopped walking and turned his face to the side.

“Viktor?” Yuuri reached out to touch his shoulder but it hovered over it instead.

“I was so lonely.” Viktor’s voice broke. “They pretended, they put on a front and acted as if they liked me to please my dad. But they were gone when I was no longer of use to them. I only ever had my dad and Yura, and even he didn’t want me around sometimes. The first person to actually say I was their friend was Chris, and then you. It felt nice, it felt great actually. I used to dream of having a lot of friends that I could just hang out with. When I saw you and your friends for the first time I was so jealous because you had everything I had ever wished for.”

Yuuri let his hand drop on Viktor’s shoulder and pulled him forward so he could give him a hug. He felt his chest tighten as Viktor cried because it was something he knew and understood. He knew the feeling of loneliness and longing, Yuuri was no stranger to the feeling of being alone even when others were around. It hurt, it was so painful and he didn’t want Viktor to feel like that. Yuuri didn’t know how someone like Viktor could feel that way, but he also didn’t know much about Viktor. And as they hugged in the middle of an empty sidewalk, Yuuri realized that was a deeply seeded sadness inside Viktor. One that was masked by a mask of happy smiles and over the top friendliness. He didn’t know how deep that sadness ran but he did know that didn’t want Viktor to feel that way anymore because he didn’t deserve that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know said I wouldn't take so long to update but silly me thought I could write this whole thing during the break. Also, that teaser dropped and I just had to rewatch the whole series again.  
>  Also, this chapter was kind of hard to write and I've been tweaking it for the last two days because of how nervous I was about posting it. I hope you all liked it and thank you for reading this far.  
>  Til next time!

**Author's Note:**

> Quarantine made me revisit old fics I had written and never finished, though I would let some of them see the light of day. I have a few chapters of this so far if people like it I'll continue. Enjoy!


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